Remembrance

The New York Times unearthed a surprising trend in the wedding industry: Many couples are now choosing cemeteries as wedding venues. It’s a way to highlight an eternal commitment by choosing a place of eternal rest, and after all, many wedding vows include the promise “until death do us part.”

“Every year, we get more and more requests,” said Richard Harker of the Historic Oakland Foundation, which runs Atlanta’s Oakland Cemetery, the oldest public park in the city. According to Harker, Oakland hosted more weddings in 2023 than funerals (36 to 25, respectively).

Some couples choose them for personal reasons, such as to honor a loved one who can’t be present in the flesh. Others simply find the combination of outdoor décor appealing. In some cases, the cost is lower because of less demand, and often restrictions on the size and scope of the gathering make it easier for couples who want a smaller gathering.

Cemetery weddings are nothing new. Jews living in Eastern Europe and in the United States sometimes held weddings in cemeteries during times of mass disease, like during the 1918 influenza, in the belief that having the ceremony in the presence of the dead might bring about better times.

Whatever the reason, couples looking to choose a cemetery for their nuptials must be prepared to abide by a lot of logistical rules that govern the locale; no matter how joyous the affair, cemeteries are still the resting place of the dearly departed. Many of the more historic cemeteries have rules in place preventing, for example, dancing or loud music.

Still, for the right couple in the right situation, a cemetery can be a great choice. There’s so much love [there],” according to Laura Lavelle of Oak Hill Cemetery in Washington, D.C. “It can hold sadness and happiness. It can hold grief and joy.”

Possible Preaching Angles:

While this trend may seem unconventional, it offers a unique perspective on the meaning of marriage and the human experience. 1) Marriage; Commitment; Vows - It invites us to consider the deeper significance the sacredness of vows, and the reality that love and commitment persist even in the face of death and sorrow. 2) Remembrance - The Bible often emphasizes the importance of remembering the past and honoring the dead. A cemetery wedding could be a way to honor loved ones who have passed away and to keep their memory alive.

Saying farewell to yesterday might be a challenge for some, but not for the numerous New Yorkers who bid a traditional farewell to 2023 in Times Square ahead of the big New Year's Eve celebration. At the 17th annual Good Riddance Day Thursday, bad memories were burned – literally.

Good Riddance Day is inspired by a Latin American tradition in which New Year’s revelers stuffed dolls with objects representing bad memories before setting them on fire.

In Times Square, attendees wrote down their bad memories on pieces of paper. "COVID," "Cancer," “Our broken healthcare system,” “Spam calls and emails,” “Bad coffee,” and “Single Use Plastics,” were some of the entries.

Every December 28, this event gives people the opportunity to write down everything they want to leave in the past and destroy any unpleasant, unhappy, and unwanted memories – so that they can toss them into an incinerator and watch them vanish.

Possible Preaching Angle:

What painful experience, memory, or consequence caused by sin would you like to leave behind in the New Year? This is a reality for the believer “Because of the loving devotion of the LORD we are not consumed, for His mercies never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!” (Lam 3:22-23). With Paul we can say “Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead” (Phil. 3:13).

Did you drop the ball this Mother’s Day and forget to pick up a gift for your mom? You’re not alone. A new survey has found that one in six Americans hasn’t sent their mother a single present in over a year. A survey found that 67 percent know their mom’s favorite flower. However, 37 percent admit they haven’t bought their mother flowers of any kind over the last year.

Another 57 percent know exactly what movie their mom would love to watch. But one in three people haven’t sat down to watch a movie with her in more than a year. Another 81 percent know their mom’s favorite hobby, but only half the poll say they’ve joined their mother to do that activity within the last six months. Even though 81% know their mom’s favorite way to pamper herself, 51% haven’t treated their mom in the last month.

A study found that mothers spend a staggering 97 hours a week doing something related to parenting—the same amount of time most people with a six-figure salary spend on their job.

Celebrating Mother’s Day is an easy way to show appreciation to the hard work, dedication, and care moms provide. They may not be sending flowers or taking mom out to dinner, but at least Americans are picking up the phone. More than 80 percent of the poll say they speak to their mother at least once a month.

So, if there’s a lesson coming out of this survey, maybe it’s that Americans need to spend a little quality time with their mom. With Mother’s Day being a day to do whatever our mother’s love to do, this day in May allows many kids a chance to play “catch-up.” After all, everyday can be Mother’s Day if you try.

Most of us regularly lose things: keys, wallets, TV remotes, glasses, and phones. Some of us are more prone to misplacing things than others. It’s not surprising that men are twice as likely to lose their phones than women. One study concluded that the average person misplaces nine things a day and spends an average of fifteen minutes looking for lost items.

Why does this happen? What is the psychology and science behind it? It comes down to a breakdown of attention and memory. When we misplace our belongings, "we fail to activate the part of our brain responsible for encoding what we're doing." The hippocampus part of our brain is responsible for taking a snapshot and preserving the memory in a set of neurons that can be activated later. We lose things when we do not have a clear reference point of when or where we put down objects like our keys or glasses.

One of the ways we can improve our memory is through practicing mindfulness. We do this by stepping back and calming our thoughts, focusing on being present in the moment.

Possible Preaching Angle:

We can lose more than our physical possession! We can misplace our hope, peace, joy, and love. Advent is a season where we can refocus and become mindful of what we have received in Christ's coming.

In March, 1941, a nurse on Bataan received a package mailed before the world-changing surprise attack on Hawaii on December 7, 1941. Opening it, with other nurses looking on, she removed a sheet of tissue paper and lifted a "little, frivolous black hat, with a dainty veil."

All broke into a laughter perilously close to tears. The nurse, in her army coveralls and bigger-than-her-feet shoes, held it in her hands, noting its cuteness. They watched silently as she set it on her head and carefully adjusted it—then broke again in laughter mixed with tears.

The hat symbolized what they all had lost, and many of them wouldn't again find, war being the all-devouring monster of humanity: cars on paved streets; dinners in restaurants with choices on the menu, theaters showing films, and ball games.

The little hat became a popular tourist attraction to other nurses from other bases. Everyone looked, most wistfully, many with tears brimming or falling, as memories surged and emotions spilled.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Sometimes little things remind us of people in other times, in other places, now lost and gone. Of relationships treasured and possessions valued now gone. But when we sacrifice all things for God, he will reward us with greater things that can never be taken away (Matt. 19:27-29).

Willie Carson, the famous British jockey, was racing one day at Pontefract. He was happily leading on the rails. A furlong and a half from home he thought he heard something at his back and, glancing round, he saw the shadow of a horse coming up behind. Determined that he should not be beaten, he spurred on and was first at the finish line. He looked round again and saw that the nearest horse was fifteen lengths behind--he had been racing his own shadow for the last part of the race.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Sometimes we are haunted by the memory of a mistake, a regret from our past. It is as if there is a shadow looming over us, preventing us from going forward. God has forgiven our past and calls us to move forward into his future (Phillipians 3:13).

In his book, Paul Gould writes:

The writings of Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Marilynne Robinson are infused with a sacramental theology. Her writing helps us see and savor the divine in the midst of the mundane. In an oft-cited passage, she invites readers to consider the ordinary—in this instance water—from a new vantage point. In her book Gilead, the Congregationalist minister John Ames knows his time on earth is coming to an end, so he writes a series of letters to his young son. Ames shares a memory of an earlier time when he watched a young couple stroll along on a leisure morning:

“The sun had come up brilliantly after a heavy rain, and the trees were glistening and very wet. On some impulse, plain exuberance, I suppose, the fellow jumped up and caught hold of a branch, and a storm of luminous water came pouring down on the two of them, and they laughed and took off running. The girl sweeping water off her hair and her dress as if she were a little bit disgusted, but she wasn't. It was a beautiful thing to see, like something from a myth.”

“I don't know why I thought of that now, except perhaps because it is easy to believe in such moments that water was made primarily for blessing, and only secondarily for growing vegetables or doing the wash. I wish I had paid more attention to it. My list of regrets may seem unusual, but who can know that they are, really. This is an interesting planet. It deserves all the attention you can give it.”

Responding to a previous calamity, Colorado governor Jared Polis decided upon a practical, utilitarian solution. When a rockslide caused a giant boulder the size of a house to tumble down and gouge a huge chunk from highway 145 near the southwestern town of Dolores, Polis decided to simply leave it there. State officials say that taxpayers will be better served by allowing the boulder to remain as a memorial of the freak accident and rebuilding the highway next to it.

The total cost of rebuilding the section of highway, which includes a new section of guardrail next to the boulder, is estimated at $1.3 million, according to budget estimates. Taxpayers are expected to save around $200,000, which is what it would’ve cost had they decided to blast the 8.5-million-pound boulder into smaller rock fragments. The boulder has been dubbed “Memorial Rock,” because the rockslide happened on Memorial Day weekend.

Potential Preaching Angle: Whether from unforeseen calamity or serendipitous blessing, it is important to use momentous occasions as memory markers. These help us remember what we've gone through and how God was faithful throughout.

How long can most famous people expect to be remembered after they die? Between five and 30 years. That's according to Cesar A. Hidalgo, director of the Collective Learning group at the MIT Media Lab. Hidalgo is among the premier data miners of the world’s collective history. With his MIT colleagues, he developed a dataset that ranks historical figures by popularity. So, for instance, who is the most famous tennis player of all time? Frenchman Rene Lacoste, born in 1904 (Roger Federer places 20th.).

Last month Hidalgo and colleagues published a paper that put his data-mining talents to work on another question: How do people and products drift out of the cultural picture? They traced the fade-out of songs, movies, sports stars, patents, and scientific publications. They drew on data from sources such as Billboard, Spotify, IMDB, Wikipedia, the US Patent and Trademark Office, and the American Physical Society.

Hidalgo’s team then designed mathematical models to calculate the rate of decline of the songs, people, and scientific papers. They found that "The universal decay of collective memory and attention concludes that people and things are kept alive through ‘oral communication’ from about five to 30 years.”

Possible Preaching Angles:

In other words, the Bible is very accurate when it says that we are dust and to dust we shall return and our lives are a mist. Our only hope is in the permanence of a new kind of life given to us through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Tire shop technician Cross Scott had no idea his routine test drive for a customer would help save a life. During the test drive, Scott encountered another vehicle with flashing hazard lights, with the driver slumped over the wheel. Fearing the driver might be close to death, he sprang into action—until he realized he’d never had any training in cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).

Fortunately, Scott had watched the TV series The Office, especially an episode called “Stress Relief.” On the show, the Dunder-Mifflin employees are taught to administer CPR to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive” by 70s disco band The Bee Gees. It’s a useful memory trick because saving lives is combined with the song’s tempo of 100 beats per minute, the recommended rate for applying chest compressions.

Armed with that bit of knowledge, the tire tech turned medic began chest compressions, singing along with actor Steve Carell playing Michael Scott in his mind. After a minute or so, the woman, later identified as Carla, came to consciousness.

A paramedic for the Tucson Fire Department confirmed that Carla’s situation might’ve ended differently if the tire tech hadn’t intervened. In response to the popularity of “Stayin’ Alive,” New York-Presbyterian Hospital has since compiled a Spotify playlist entitled “Songs to do CPR to.”

Potential Preaching Angles:

As followers of Christ we never know when God will call us to serve and help others.

In a 2017 lecture, Mark Meynell addressed the connection between identity and memory:

BBC Radio 3, the U.K.'s primary classical music station, ran a fascinating series of articles on music and memory. Adam Zeman, a Professor of Cognitive and Behavioral Neurology, wrote about amnesia and memory loss and their relationship to epilepsy. Zeman mentioned two patients, Peter and Marcus, who described their amnesia in very similar terms. One said: "My memory of my past is a blank space. I feel lost and hopeless. I'm trying to explore a void." Both described how disconcerting it is to look at photos. Even though they recognize themselves, they have no recollection of the moment. One said that it's like "reading a biography of a stranger." He's conscious of recent memories slipping away from him, like ships sailing out to sea in the fog, never to be seen again.

Two things stand out in Zeman's essay. First, without memory, it's hard to cling to an identity. So one of the patients said: "I don't have the moorings that other people draw on to know who they are." Second, it's hard to have hope when we don't know our past. As Zeman explained, "The inability to invoke the past greatly impedes their ability to imagine a future."

Possible Preaching Angles: In the Lord's Supper Jesus has invited us to be a community of remembrance. The Lord's Supper gives us our spiritual moorings. It gives us the "ability to imagine a future."

Mary Kidd and her colleagues meet every week in a loft in New York City with a clear mission—to digitize and preserve old VHS tapes. The loft has racks of tape decks, oscilloscopes, vector scopes and wave-form monitors that help ensure a quality transfer from analog to digital.

Kidd and the others are archivists and preservationists for XFR Collective (pronounced Transfer Collective). And while the mood is light, there is a sense of a deadline. That's because VHS tapes probably can't survive beyond 15 to 20 years. Some call this the "magnetic media crisis" and archivists, preservationists, and librarians like the ones in the XFR Collective are trying to reverse it.

Sounds and images are magnetized onto strips of tape, but over time the tape slowly loses its magnetic properties. Most tapes were recorded in the 1980s and '90s, when video cameras first became widely available. That means even the best-kept tapes will eventually be unwatchable. The thing is, many people don't realize their tapes are degrading.

And some who do know —like Mary Kidd — haven't even gotten around to their own tapes. "Sometimes I do fall asleep at night thinking to myself, 'Oh my gosh, is this tape in the storage space that I own slowly turning into goo?'" So the volunteers devote themselves to this work because if they don't save these intimate, personal histories, it's possible no one will.

Possible Preaching Angle: Protection, Divine; Rewards; Memories; What we store with God is safe for eternity without loss, decay, or fading. As Paul told Timothy, "I … am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day." (2 Timothy 1:12)