Respect for Old Age

Bill Webb recently saw his 80 years of life flash before his eyes. It was through his seven grandchildren, who'd found old photos and, heartwarmingly, dressed up as him during different eras of his life—celebrating his birthday, his life, and their love for him.

His 21-year-old granddaughter, Kenzie Greene shared an Instagram post about the event. She said, “He definitely knows how to make all of us feel special and remembers things about each of us.” Kenzie recalls that their grandparents always showed up to their sports and other events to express their love and support.

After retiring, Bill has made the most of his life as a grandfather, spending countless nights playing games, sharing meals, and spending priceless time with them at the family house.

Kenzie and the family wanted to do something special for Pawpaw to show him how much he means to them. They decided to highlight eras from his life. Kenzie noted that “80 years is a long time,” and they had to fit all those years into 7 eras that each grandchild could personify.

For each era of their Pawpaw’s life, each grandchild chose an era that represented a connection they shared with him. For example, Kenzie’s cousin Hutton was really into football in high school, so he represented the “football era” of Bill’s life. Kenzie is currently studying at the University of Tennessee, where Bill also studied, so she naturally chose his “frat boy” era. As each grandchild came out, they announced what part of his life they represented, and then showed him an actual scrapbook picture of what he looked like at that stage of his life.

One commenter on her video wrote, “This speaks volumes about love, legacy, and the strength of family bonds. What a reminder of the beauty in honoring those who paved the road before us. This is the kind of legacy that inspires us all. What a family!”

The New York Time’s ethicist received the following from an anonymous reader:

I have an 85-year-old neighbor who is a sweet friend and caring person. My issue is that she is very religious and I’m not at all. She prays for me and says it in person, texts, and emails for even the most minor of situations. I’ve told her my view of religion and that she doesn’t need to pray for me. She said she has to, otherwise she’s not following the Bible. I’m trying to ignore this but it’s really bothering me that she can’t respect my wishes.

“The Ethicist” responded:

I’m glad that you’ve been honest with each other about your very different views concerning prayer. But… if you don’t think these prayers will do you any good, you presumably also don’t think they’ll do you any harm. By contrast, she thinks that you’ll be worse off without them, and that praying for you is her duty.

The only reason you give for objecting to her prayers is that she has failed to comply with your wishes. Yet I don’t find that she has thereby treated you with disrespect… So, you’re not entitled to insist that she stop including you in her prayers. What you can fairly ask is simply that she refrain from informing you about them. Still, instead of requiring that your octogenarian neighbor change her ways, I wonder whether you might change yours — and learn to accept this woman for who she is, hearing her prayers as a sincere expression of her loving feelings toward you.

Max Evans-Browning, a five-year-old from Wales, captured hearts worldwide by creating a touching tribute to Sir David Attenborough’s 99th birthday. Max spent four days drawing 99 animals — one for each year of the renowned naturalist’s life — demonstrating his admiration and artistic dedication.

Max’s project spanned eight A3 sheets, and his parents proudly shared, “He’s a huge fan of Sir David and wanted to do something special to celebrate his birthday.” The child’s detailed and colorful drawings include a wide variety of animals, from familiar pets to exotic wildlife, showcasing his keen interest in nature at a young age.

Attenborough himself has been a source of inspiration for many generations, and Max’s artistic gift is a heartfelt homage to the man whose documentaries have shaped public understanding of the natural world. Max’s mother said, “It’s amazing to see such creativity and enthusiasm in a child so young.”

The tribute also highlights the power of youthful curiosity and creativity in fostering a connection with nature and science. Max’s drawings not only celebrate a milestone birthday but also encourage others to appreciate the diversity of life on Earth.

Local media praised Max’s efforts as “a wonderful example of how children can be inspired by science and nature.” The story has resonated globally, reminding people of all ages to cherish the natural world and those who dedicate their lives to protecting it.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Like Max’s art honors Attenborough and creation, our worship honors God through our gifts and love for what He made.

Trinity Evangelical Divinty School professor Kevin Vanhoozer writes about caring for his aging mother in an issue of CT magazine:

For nine years now, I have been watching my mother’s identity slowly fade as memories and capacities switch off, one after another, like lights of a house shutting down for the night. Marriage may be a school of sanctification, as Luther said, but caring for aging parents is its grad school, especially when he or she lives with you and suffers from dementia.

It’s been said that as we become older, we become caricatures of ourselves. Dementia speeds the process. It’s easy to see why: With loss of executive cognitive functioning, we’re less prone to monitor what we say and do. We begin to fly on auto-pilot, re-tracing again and again well-trod paths.

What lies under … the social masks we have carefully constructed? What lies under my mother’s happy face? (“I’m fine,” she’d say, even after a fall). I recently discovered the answer.

Years into the dementia, she lost her last line of defense and began to voice her inmost thoughts aloud. “Father, don’t let me fall” accompanied her every shuffling step behind her walker. Initially I thought this terribly sad—clearly, she wasn’t fine but anxious—yet I eventually found it comforting. The Bible depicts life as a walk: Shouldn’t we all be praying to the Lord to help us avoid missteps? Though she had forgotten former friends and neighbors, and large swaths of her own life, she remembered the fatherhood of God.

An article in The New York Times explored the following scenario. Perhaps this routine sounds familiar: You wake up, look in the mirror and scrutinize the dark, hollowed-out skin underneath your eyes. You look exhausted, despite having slept well. And maybe you look older than you are, too.

According to the article, “Dark circles are one of the most common skin complaints … Some skin care products can offer some benefits, but they may not live up to their brightening claims.” The article concluded that most solutions for dark circles under our eyes aren’t really solutions.

Eye creams and serums that claim to improve dark circles can be expensive. And most haven’t undergone any real intensive lab or clinical testing, so they’re often ineffective. Because dark circles can have various causes—there is not always a one-size-fits-all solution for getting rid of them.

But the best part of the article is tucked away in the reader comments section. Two women offered perhaps the best solution on the market—acceptance. Here’s what Clare from DC wrote: “I'm 92. Nobody looks at me anyway. Just be glad you can open those eyes every morning.” Then TheraP from the Midwest wrote: “Maybe we need to just accept the aging process with a certain humility and a bit of good humor.”

The first thing to know about people who shun retirement to work past age 80 is that they are probably busier, and possibly cooler, than you.

One said an interview would have to wait because he was traveling to France for the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Another said he would be free after hitting a research deadline and organizing his Harvard Business School class’s 65th reunion. A third, available on shorter notice, emailed a physical description before meeting: “In the spirit of YOLO, I have blue hair and tattoos.”

Growing numbers of 80-somethings are deciding that if days are finite, they are better spent on the job than in retirement. Harrison Ford, 80, released his latest Indiana Jones movie, Jane Goodall, 89, is still protecting chimps, Smokey Robinson, 83, is still touring.

Roughly 650,000 Americans over 80 were working last year, that’s about 18% more than a decade earlier. Some people have been pressed back into duty by inflation and stock-market volatility. Many cite a simpler reason to keep working—they just want to. These workers joke about getting bored on the golf course or being pushed out of the house by a spouse who won’t tolerate idleness. Beneath the wisecracks is a sense of purpose that refuses to fade. They just can’t quit their careers.

Possible Preaching Angles:

As a positive illustration this shows that retirement can still be a fruitful time of life. As a negative illustration this could show how people’s identities and worth are still wrapped up in work.

We may not want to admit it but author Arthur Brooks is convincing when he writes to the effect that age-related decline will come much sooner than we think. We might make excuses for ourselves but our recall of names and places is not what it used to be. He writes:

By the time you are fifty your brain is as crowded with information as the New York Public Library. Meanwhile, your personal research librarian is creaky, slow, and easily distracted. When you send him to get some information you need—say, someone’s name—he takes a minute to stand up, stops for coffee, talks to an old friend in the periodicals, and then forgets where he was going in the first place. Meanwhile, you are kicking yourself for forgetting something you have known for years. When the librarian finally shows back up and says, “That guy’s name is Mike,” Mike is long gone and you are doing something else.

In an issue of Christianity Today, Jen Wilkin writes of an unexpected lesson from Facebook:

Facebook decided to kick off (the new year) with a challenge: Compare your first profile picture to your most recent one to see how hard aging hit you over the past ten years.

I pulled up my first profile picture and stared at it, the air exiting my lungs and an odd numbness seeping up from my toes. Hello, fresh-faced person. I remember you. I remember that shirt, the wallpaper in that kitchen, that haircut. I also remember the night I uploaded you, lightheartedly filling in my Facebook profile with enough information for my identity to be stolen and my house to be robbed.

Imagine if it had been possible to post a picture of your heart (10 years ago), laid next to another (now). A spiritual angiogram, before and after, a trajectory of the growth or decline of wisdom itself. What would it show? Would you want to post it?

This is what I thought as I sat at my computer, contemplating the face of a younger self. I have not stopped thinking about it since. Who says social media can’t make you wise? Facebook invites us to count the lines on our faces, but wisdom reads between those lines.

A Glamour magazinevideo asked a number of girls and women on advice they would want from an older person in their life. Here are some of the questions these young women asked:

How do you become who you are today?

What should I not stress about at 14-years-old?

What is the best way to make a decision?

Looking back on your life what did you find most valuable?

What do you do when you realize that your dreams are not actually going to happen?

How do you manage having kids, being married, and having a career?

What is the secret to living a happy life?

Is having children really worth it?

(What are the) secrets to a long and happy marriage?

You can watch the entire 2:30 minute video here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is important for mature women to be accessible to answer questions and serve as role models to the young women in our churches. “Older women, likewise, are to be …. teachers of good. In this way they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and submissive to their own husbands …” (Titus 2:3-5).

Eight in ten Americans agree society puts too much value on appearing youthful. A survey examined perspectives around aging and found that most agree that in today’s world there’s a negative bias around aging or the perception of being old—so much so that six in ten avoid sharing their age for fear of being “judged.”

But a new poll also identified the benefits of getting older. 75% of the respondents agreed that age is not something to fight or fear, but rather an opportunity to live a more fulfilling and emotionally healthy life. Two-thirds of respondents actually feel younger than they are—nearly a decade younger, on average.

The survey found that three in four people want to spend less time fighting aging and more time doing things they love. Jim Burkett, president of Great Lakes Wellness said, “While ‘anti-aging’ has become the norm for quite some time, we’re starting to see a shift among Americans who realize aging is living.”

The Top Four Benefits of Aging:

–Learning new things about themselves or the world every year

–Having more life experience

–Gaining wisdom

–Being more confident

What, then, is the secret to living well in your advancing years? 80% will tell you that a better attitude leads to more graceful aging. 70% said they’re embracing their age, believing that getting older is not as bad as they thought it would be.

For most of us, the older we get, the more we slow down physically. But for some, growing old also means slowing down socially—so much to the point that some home-bodied seniors go days with little to no human interaction.

A new survey sheds light on this sad, but true effect of aging, noting that hundreds of thousands of people often go a week without speaking to a single person.

According to the survey of 1,896 seniors over 65 in the United Kingdom, more than one in five (22%) will have a conversation with no more than just three people over the span of an entire week. That translates to nearly 2.6 million elderly folks who don’t enjoy regular human contact on a daily basis. Perhaps most alarming though is researchers say 225,000 individuals will go a week without talking to anyone face-to-face.

Caroline Abrahams, charity director at Age UK says, “Loneliness is a huge problem because retirement, bereavement and ill health mean many older people find they are spending a lot less time enjoying the company of others than they’d like. Loneliness can affect your health, your wellbeing and the way you see yourself – it can make you feel invisible and forgotten.”

About 40% of seniors say they’d feel more confident to head out each day if they knew their neighbors. Just the thought of someone stopping to chat with them brightens their outlook. Half of respondents agree that even a short conversation with a neighbor or acquaintance would greatly improve their day overall. And a quarter of older adults say it makes them feel good when someone smiles or acknowledges them while waiting in line at places like the bank or grocery store. One in five would be thrilled if someone stopped to ask them how their day had gone.

Anfernee Simons, fourth year guard for the Portland Trail Blazers, has been carrying the burden of high expectations. After spending two years mostly riding the bench and a third up-and-down year in a backup point guard role, this has been his breakout year. With two stars players out on extended injury leave, Simons has been called upon for a massive uptick in playing time and scoring.

The pressure sometime results in Simons being down on himself, especially if he isn’t playing particularly well. He doesn’t want to let down his teammates, the coaching staff, his mentors, or the fans that cheer for him.

Despite a recent slump in production from Simons, none of that burden seemed evident during a recent game against the Atlanta Hawks. That night, Simons played free and easy, recording a career-high 43 points on 13-21 shooting. Asked what changed, his answer was simple: “I really can’t take credit for how I played tonight. Sadly, my grandpa died last night from cancer. This is all him, honestly. I give credit to him, dedicated this whole game to him.”

Simons had just returned from visiting his grandfather, Jake Carter, with whom he had a close relationship during his developmental years. Several days prior, Simons had been required to enter the COVID-19 health protocols, which required him to be away from the team. So, he chartered a private plane and made a trip back to Florida to visit Carter. It was a refreshing time of family connection.

Simons said, “It was a bittersweet moment cause, obviously, I didn’t know it was the last time I would actually see him. I’m kind of optimistic in those kinds of scenarios. But it kind of worked out how it was supposed to.”

Though Carter later passed away after Simons returned, he obviously had no regrets. “I knew kind of in the back of my mind that it was going to be a great night because he’s there. My Papa was there to help me along the way.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Even in our latter years, we can still impact generations to come with love, faithfulness, and wisdom that will help them along in their success.

1.3 million people in the Netherlands are older than 75—and one large supermarket chain is making sure they’re not getting too lonely in their elder years.

The Dutch government with its campaign, “One Against Loneliness,” has galvanized towns, companies, and individuals to find solutions. The grocer giant, Jumbo, is doing their part with its innovative chatty check outs.

The idea for the “Kletskassa,” which translates to “chat checkout,” originated more than two years ago—and in the summer of 2019 the first chat checkout was opened. This resulted in many positive reactions from customers—and now Jumbo is expanding the initiative further. In 2022, there will be chat checkouts in 200 stores across the country where people can go for a conversation.

Colette Cloosterman-van Eerd, CCO of Jumbo, is closely involved in the initiative. She says,

Many people, especially the elderly, sometimes feel lonely. As a family business and supermarket chain, we are at the heart of society.

Our stores are an important meeting place for many people and we want to play a role in identifying and reducing loneliness. We are proud that many of our cashiers like to take a seat behind a “chat checkout.” They want to help people to make real contact out of genuine interest. It is a small gesture, but very valuable, especially in a world that is digitizing and getting faster and faster.

Hopefully the Dutch national movement towards supporting older people will catch on in many more countries around the world.

Actor and director Justine Bateman has never gone under the knife and never will. The 55-year-old Family Ties actress is so perplexed by society’s acceptance of plastic surgery that she has penned a new book, Face: One Square Foot of Skin, in which she explores the idea of getting some work done. She says,

Why is the idea that women’s older faces are undesirable, what is the root of all that? How did we get to this point in our current society where cutting your face up, or injecting it, or inserting plastic or whatever, is spoken about so matter-of-factly?

We went from, “Wow someone getting a face lift is quite unusual!” to, “It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.” To me it’s really, it’s like, psychopathic. It’s lunacy, and I don’t like that we’re going along with it without pausing to think about it.

The reporter said, “What struck me in reading Bateman’s book was how much time we spend fretting about whether we should do something about our faces or hold out. And I don’t just mean older women. I have friends in their 20s who also fall into a vortex of products that promise to reverse aging that isn’t even visible yet. The Instagram generation hasn’t been spared, in fact, they may have accumulated more time examining their faces than any before them.”

“Kids don’t want adults in their lives.” How many times have you heard something like that expressed in the church? It can make people think that what young people in the church need are youth groups for building relationships with one another. But a Barna study called “Faith for Exiles” found that young people who grew up in the church and are still committed to core Christian beliefs and practices are far more likely to have had:

• Meaningful relationships with adults in the church than those who are no longer Christian (77% compared to 27%)
• Feel connected to those older than them (65% compared to 20%)
• Admire the faith of their parents (72% compared to 16%)

And don’t look to pastors to do all the work. Four in ten resilient disciples were mentored as young people by an adult other than their pastor or church staff. Amongst those that have left the church, less than one in ten had the same experience.

When emergency responders found Harold Storelee in front of his house with a broken hip, they did their best to take care of him. As it turned out, that care included attending to the task that injured Storelee--tending his lawn. According to Storelee’s grandson, the lawn was his “pride and joy of the house.”

So, when the trio of EMTs finished responding to the other emergencies of the day, they contacted their supervisor and asked for an additional hour or so to finish the job Storelee had been unable to finish. One of the EMTs said:

There was no hesitation from anybody. We talked to our lieutenant and captain, and they were 100 percent behind it. We knew he’d be down for a while, (so) we figured the least we could do was go back and help out. We’ve done similar things before. We look at it like a family community. I’ve seen people with broken porches and replaced a couple of boards. If we see someone in need, we can go help and buy them groceries, and the department will refund us our money.

Possible Preaching Angle :

We show the everlasting love of Jesus when we exceed others' expectations in the way we choose to serve them.

At 94, Frank Walsh had already lived a long, full life. But he wasn’t done dreaming about what could be. After his wife of 62 years passed away, Walsh ambled down to a neighboring senior center to, in his words, “meet dames.” The one who caught his eye turned out to be Rosemary Acker, 87, whom he began seeing three times a week.

“I couldn’t ask for any more in life,” said Walsh. “I have health and love, and now this.” “This” was the crazy idea he had one day, to join the local high school marching band. Frank had no formal musical training, though he’d been around marching bands through his years of playing sports and serving in the military. But he wanted to be around the high school students, because he thought it would make him feel young again.

So when Chad Davies, director of the marching band at Wilsonville High, heard about the idea from one of the managers at Walsh’s residential facility, he posed the question to his students. And Stephen Jennings, lead snare drummer, spoke for the rest of the band. “Awesome,” he said.

They decided that cymbals would be the best instrument for Frank, since it didn’t require him to read any music. So they fashioned a special pair for him to use and gave it a try. It didn’t come naturally at first, but Walsh, a lifelong learner who’d spent more than 40 years teaching in Oregon schools, kept at it.

"I've been practicing, you know," he said. "I watch YouTube videos on how to play the cymbals. I've learned how to keep the left hand stable and hit with the right hand and how to deaden the cymbal by pressing it against my body."

Frank Walsh and his girlfriend Rosemary sat with the band during Wilsonville’s game against Wilson High. When the band played the fight song, Frank played the cymbals. It was Senior Night.

Potential Preaching Angles:

Even in old age, God is still capable of bringing new things to life. Seniors can be productive and find meaning in life by serving others.

Josh Cyganik, a 35-year-old man from Pendleton, Oregon, used to show up for work and wave to Leonard Bullock, the old man sitting on the porch across the street. That morning ritual went on for four years. But then one day, Cyganik overheard some teenagers threatening to vandalize the Bullock's house. That's when Josh Cyganik decided to take matters into his own hands. As he later told ABC News, "[The teenagers] said they need to burn it and tear it down and nobody deserves that. I saw Leonard had his head down, and I felt bad for him. After a couple of days, I knew there was something I could do to help."

The article continued: "Cyganik said he got a lumber supplier to donate material to turn Leonard's home from white and turquoise to beige. More than 100 volunteers showed up throughout the day to help rejuvenate the exterior of the old home after Cyganik's Facebook postasking for help was shared more than 6,000 times." Cynganik said, "I stopped counting at 95 volunteers, but everyone showed up excited and willing to help. A lot of people are calling me a hero, but I just wanted to paint a house. That's just how I was brought up…to respect your elders and help people in need."

In her funny, off-beat memoir, journalist and writer Heather Havrilesky reminds us how community (whether in a family or a church family) implies carrying one another's burdens. Havrilesky writes:

If I get sick or lose my mind, I'll ask my husband or my kids or my friends to rise to the occasion and come to my aid. And they'd better come through for me, [darn] it! I dried your tears and paid too much for replicas of lost teddy bears on eBay. I took care of cats and plants and talked you through home purchases and career dilemmas and bad breakups. …

I'll continue to be there, as long as I can be. But someday, you might have to come to my rescue. Brace yourselves, because it won't be pretty. Isn't that what love and friendship are really about?

We weren't meant to suffer alone! We weren't meant to … escape the indignity and frustration of asking for help, for needing help, from someone who might not always enjoy giving it, someone who gets on our nerves, who has never made much sense to us, someone whom we break down and bicker with occasionally. We were meant to lean on each other, as messy and imperfect as that can be, to be capable when we can, and to allow the world to take care of us when we can't. It won't be all bad. Or it will be. But at least we'll have each other.