Restraint

In today’s digital age, it’s become increasingly common for parents to hand their upset child a smartphone or tablet to calm them down. But could this seemingly harmless practice be hindering children’s emotional development? A new study from researchers suggests that using digital devices as emotional pacifiers may have unintended long-term consequences.

The researchers aimed to understand the relationship between parents using digital devices to regulate their children’s emotions and the development of children’s self-regulatory skills.

Self-regulation is a crucial skill that develops in early childhood. It involves the ability to manage one’s emotions, control impulses, and direct attention. These skills are essential for success in school and later in life. They help children navigate social situations, focus on tasks, and cope with frustration.

Imagine a scenario where a child is having a tantrum in a grocery store. A parent, desperate for a quick fix, hands over their smartphone to distract and calm the child. While this might work in the moment, the study suggests that repeatedly using this strategy could prevent the child from learning how to manage their emotions on their own. Children whose parents often relied on “digital pacifiers” showed more severe emotion-regulation problems, specifically, anger management problems, later in life.

Instead of relying on screens to soothe upset children, parents might consider alternative strategies that help kids learn to manage their emotions. For example, parents could try talking through emotions with their child, using deep breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity together like reading a book or coloring. These approaches may take more time and effort in the moment, but they could pay off in the long run by helping children develop crucial self-regulation skills.

When a video of an American Airlines pilot scolding his passengers during a pre-flight announcement went viral, some people deemed it patronizing. Others are hailing the pilot’s speech as an example of strong leadership—at a time when passengers desperately need it.

In the video the pilot set some ground rules for his passengers—including what they should expect from their flight attendants, and how they should treat each other during the journey.

The pilot said, “Remember, the flight attendants are here for your safety. After that they’re here to make your flight more enjoyable. They’re going to take care of you guys but you will listen to what they have to say because they represent my will in the cabin, and my will is what matters.”

The pilot added: “Be nice to each other. Be respectful to each other. I shouldn’t have to say that ... But I have to say it every single flight, because people don’t. And they’re selfish and rude, and we won’t have it.” He told passengers to store their bags properly, avoid leaning or falling asleep on other people, and use headphones instead of playing audio out loud on speakers.

The speech—“a little bit of fatherhood,” as the pilot deemed it—serves as a counterpoint to a bevy of recent videos depicting outbursts aboard aircrafts. Airlines have seen a significant uptick in unruly passenger reports: nearly 2,500 in 2020 and 6,000 in 2021, compared to roughly 1,200 in 2019 and less than 1,000 in years prior, according to FAA data.

The FAA has referred more than 250 of those cases to the Federal Bureau of Investigations since 2021, a move reserved for particularly violent incidents.

Jeff Peabody writes in a Christmas issue of CT magazine:

Several years ago, I decided to write a daily Christmas blog post on our church blog. So, I decided to tackle the theology of Christmas wrapping. I vaguely recalled that some cultures use cloth instead of paper to wrap gifts, which sounded intriguing.

That’s when I first learned about the ancient Japanese art of furoshiki. Feudal lords needed a practical way to bundle their belongings while using the bathhouse, and they displayed their family crests on the outer cloth to identify whose was whose.

Over the centuries, people adapted furoshiki into a beautiful means of presenting gifts. I realized that Jesus came to us in furoshiki, wrapped in cloths. The practice of swaddling crosses cultural lines and can be traced to the earliest civilizations.

For centuries, parents believed that wrapping infants tightly in place helped their limbs to grow straighter. Swaddling fell out of fashion in the 18th century, when physicians largely believed the tightness of the binding was not healthy. Babies need to be able to move somewhat freely for natural development.

It was new for me to consider this less pleasant side of swaddling. I can imagine Jesus in that manger, arms and legs straining against the unyielding bonds. What must it be like for a baby—particularly this baby, God incarnate—to be unable to move in any direction? What must it have been like to have your world shrunk and narrowed so severely?

The conditions of his advent were a small metaphor for his entire life. As the Son of God became flesh and bones, he experienced an unfathomable limitation of himself. The universe closed in around him, restricting him with time and space (see Phil. 2:6–8). Having a human body was like being swaddled, as it contained Almighty God in unnaturally small dimensions.

Possible Preaching Angle:

At some point, each of us meets the limits of being human. We all suffer the inescapable reality of sin and its fallout in this broken world. The simple image of Jesus, God’s gift to us, being wrapped up in cloths comforts me with the powerful truth: He understands the bindings on my mind and soul as only someone who has a shared experience can. The concept of Immanuel, God with us, takes on a new and profound clarity.

Modern people like to see freedom as the complete absence of any constraints. But think of a fish. Because a fish absorbs oxygen from water, not air, it is free only if it is restricted to water. If a fish is “freed” from the river and put out on the grass to explore, its freedom to move and soon even to live is destroyed. The fish is not more free, but less free, if it cannot honor the reality of its nature.

The same is true with airplanes and birds. If they violate the laws of aerodynamics, they will crash into the ground. But if they follow them, they will ascend and soar. The same is true in many areas of life: Freedom is not so much the absence of restrictions as finding the right ones, those that fit with the realities of our own nature and those of the world.

Speaking to The Times, Richard Dawkins said he fears the removal of religion would be a bad idea for society because it would give people “license to do really bad things.” He likened the importance of a higher power informing our morality to the presence of surveillance cameras to prevent shoplifting, warning people would feel free to commit crimes if the need to obey the “divine spy camera in the sky, reading their every thought” was removed. He said, “People may feel free to do bad things because they feel God is no longer watching them.”

The Oxford University fellow recalled an experiment that had been set up in a University coffee shop by his former pupil, Melissa Bateson, at the University of Newcastle which allowed students to pay for their hot drinks via an “honesty box.” The price list was displayed on the wall and was decorated with either floral imagery or a pair of staring eyes depending on the week. Bateson published her findings in a paper, saying: “people paid nearly three times as much for their drinks when eyes were displayed.”

Dawkins concluded that “whether irrational or not, it does, unfortunately, seem plausible that if somebody sincerely believes God is watching his every move, he might be more likely to be good. I must say I hate that idea. I want to believe that humans are better than that. I'd like to believe I'm honest whether anyone is watching or not.”

The tongue is our most powerful weapon of manipulation. A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding. If I have done some wrong thing (or even some right thing that I think you may misunderstand) and discover that you know about it, I will be very tempted to help you understand my action! Silence is one of the deepest disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification.

One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let God be our justifier. We don't need to straighten others out.

I recently went to the Smoky Mountains with some friends to do some rock climbing. We came to a small town near Knoxville, Tennessee, and pulled into a little country store.

I walked in. Three white guys sitting there gave me, a black guy, looks I've never seen before. One of them said, "You don't belong around here--boy."

At first I couldn't believe he was talking to me. Then I couldn't believe my ears when he said, "Stick around here after dark and we'll hang you." I was thinking, Man, we're sending rockets to Mars and there are still people living in this kind of blind racial ignorance. Suddenly, I was experiencing hatred, the kind of bigotry I'd only read about or seen on TV. I'll never forget how I felt in that little country store. Less than human. Alone.

Fortunately, I didn't lash out; I knew Jesus wouldn't have. I knew God wanted me to keep my anger under control. So I calmly explained to that man that racism is a thing of the past. I even surprised myself at the restraint I showed.

We might have much peace if we would not meddle with other people's sayings and doings. ... Blessed be the true, simple, and humble people, for they shall have a great plenitude of peace.