Self-control

In 1900, a former schoolteacher named Carrie Nation walked into a bar in Kiowa, Kansas, proclaimed, “Men, I have come to save you from a drunkard’s fate,” and proceeded to hurl bricks and stones at bottles of liquor. The men, interested less in spiritual salvation and more in physical safety, fled to a corner. Nation destroyed three saloons that day, using a billiard ball when she ran out of bricks and rocks, which she called “smashers.” She eventually—and famously—switched to a hatchet, using it across years of attacks on what she considered to be the cause of society’s moral failings. The movement of the 19th and early 20th centuries—which eventually brought about Prohibition—considered alcohol to be unhealthy for women, families, and the general state of humanity.

In modern times, the Dry January challenge began in 2012 as a public health initiative. Dry January is choosing not to drink beer, wine, or spirits for one month. In a 2025 article for The Atlantic Shayla Love writes that younger generations are staying away from the booze at higher rates than previous generations, sparking the rise of a neo-temperance movement. This new drop in alcohol consumption is not about the moral tragedies of drinking (alcoholism or drunk driving), but self-improvement and wellness:

Today’s sober-curious post on Instagram about how Dry January has reduced their inflammation, sharpened their jawline, and improved their sleep score. The sanctity of the home, or the overall moral health of society — not to mention the 37 Americans who die in drunk-driving crashes every day — appears to be less of a concern […]

In a 2020 Gallup poll, 86 percent of respondents said that drinking alcohol was morally acceptable, an increase from 78 percent in 2018. By contrast, more than half of young adults surveyed in 2023 expressed concerns about the health risks of moderate drinking.

Professional golfer Ryan McCormick went to extreme lengths to tame his tongue during the recent Club Car Championship in early April. The hot-headed New Jersey native has been looking for ways to keep his composure during golf events. So during the tournament's second round April 4, McCormick taped his mouth shut. "Been having not-so-fun times this year on the golf course. Pretty angry and mad," McCormick said in a social media video post by the Korn Ferry Tour. "I've tried a lot of things, and I figured I'd just shut myself up."

On May 5 of last season, pro baseball player[New York Yankee] Aaron Judge was mired in one of the worst slumps of his career, sparking panic in the Bronx. So when he stepped to the plate for the first time, he decided to try something different.

Up to that point, Judge had always used an open batting stance, which angled his left foot toward the third baseman. That afternoon, Judge moved the placement of his front leg ever so slightly back toward the pitcher. He promptly blasted a home run into the right-center field bleachers, followed by a booming double a few innings later.
The change to Judge’s setup was almost imperceptible at first, but it had an unimaginable impact: In the year since, he has put together one of the greatest stretches of hitting that baseball has ever seen.

In May, Judge closed up to 9 degrees—and slammed 14 homers to go along with his .361 batting average. He never went back. By the end of the season, Judge was standing just 2 degrees open, or almost completely squared to the pitcher. He also shrunk the distance between his feet from more than 34 inches in April 2024 to around 31 inches since.

Preaching Angles:

Many times in the Christian life, small changes (to our devotional life, our service, our evangelism) can lead to significant progress.

In an article in Esquire, Denzel Washington discussed his past drinking problems:

Wine is very tricky. It’s very slow. It ain’t like, boom, all of a sudden. And part of it was we built this big house in 1999 with a ten-thousand-bottle wine cellar, and I learned to drink the best. So, I’m gonna drink my ’61s and my ’82s and whatever we had. Wine was my thing, and now I was popping $4,000 bottles just because that’s what was left.

I never drank while I was working or preparing. I would clean up, go back to work—I could do both. However, many months of shooting, bang, it’s time to go. Then, boom. Three months of wine, then time to go back to work.

I’m sure at first it was easy because I was younger. Two months off and let’s go. But drinking was a fifteen-year pattern… I never got strung out on heroin. Never got strung out on coke. Never got strung out on hard drugs.

I wasn’t drinking when we filmed Flight, I know that, but I’m sure I did as soon as I finished. That was getting toward the end of the drinking, but I knew a lot about waking up and looking around, not knowing what happened… I’ve done a lot of damage to the body. We’ll see. I’ve been clean. (It will) be ten years this December. I stopped at sixty and I haven’t had a thimble’s worth since.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The Bible repeatedly warns that excessive alcohol use leads to sorrow, physical ailments, impaired judgment, addiction, and social or spiritual decline. While moderate use is not universally condemned, the scriptural emphasis is clear: alcohol, especially in excess, is hard on the human body and soul.

“Is Everyone Getting High?” That’s the title of a recent article in The New York Times. The article observes:

The old distinction between medical and recreational drugs is breaking down… It’s becoming impossible to count all the options we have these days for altering our consciousness with chemicals and plants. You can buy ketamine from club drug dealers on your phone, or by mail from online medical clinics to treat depression. Alongside vapes and gummies, C.B.D. dispensaries sell kratom, an herbal stimulant that some people use to boost work productivity and others to detox from opioids. Cannabis sellers may or may not be legally licensed, and may also sell psychedelic mushrooms. Some people source their Xanax or Adderall from sites on the dark web, others from a physician. Those seeking an alternative to coffee can head to a kava bar to sip an herbal narcotic long used in traditional Polynesian medicine.

And almost anyone get the drugs from easy sources. The article continued:

Today, drugs no longer need to be scored in wraps or baggies from sketchy neighborhoods; they can be ordered online through anonymous browsers and appear in your mailbox in professionally labeled packages. You don’t need to buy your college roommate’s Valium; you can buy it with your smartphone and a cryptocurrency app.

Researcher Arthur C. Books told the following story about how we all can benefit from self-control and waiting.

My father-in-law, with whom I was very close, spent most of his life on the same working-class street in Barcelona’s El Clot neighborhood. Born in 1929, he saw Spain’s bloody civil war taking place literally in front of his house. His family experienced a lot of suffering. Some died; others spent years in jail or were forced into exile. He himself spent a year in a refugee camp, an experience that affected him for the rest of his life. Every time he wanted to make a point about society or culture, he always started with: “Well, during the civil war …”

One evening, a few months before he died, he read in his local paper an article of mine about unhappiness. “You have a lot of complicated theories,” he told me, “But the real reason people are unhappy is very simple.” I asked him to elaborate. “They don’t enjoy their dinner,” he responded. I asked him what he meant. “Well, during the civil war, we were always hungry,” he said. “But one day a year—Christmas—we got to eat whatever we wanted, and we were so happy. Today, people snack all day long, are never hungry, don’t enjoy their dinners, and aren’t happy—even on Christmas.”

He was not wrong in his main contention: Happiness rises, paradoxically, when you do not get whatever you want, whenever you want it. Rather, well-being requires that you discipline your will and defer your gratifications. Understanding this and taking action to change your habits can make you a much happier person.

A pastor and his family on an early morning flight had been delayed for hours and were feeling sleep-deprived and anxious. As the plane landed, another family behind them attempted to exit quickly, with the teenager rushing ahead. The pastor shares:

I stuck my arm into the aisle to block the rest of the family from passing, like I was Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. “None shall pass.” “We’re all trying to get off this plane,” I said to the family, “Let’s wait our turn!”

They had words with me that I cannot share here and pushed past my arm. I was fuming.

As the passenger disembarked, a flight attendant approached, explaining that the teenage girl had been experiencing a panic attack and needed assistance. The family had been trying to help her. The family was not rude; they were desperate.

How did I, a former chaplain trained to notice physiological signs of stress, miss that this young lady needed help? How did I let my core value of courtesy block my capacity to see what was really going on?

I was operating out of assumption and unable to see reality. Rather than see that this young lady needed help getting off the plane, all I could see was a family rudely skipping the line, and I must intervene.

Whether we move toward self-righteousness or self-protection, the common denominator is self. This is what every follower of God has in common: We get caught up in ourselves, we get triggered, we forget others, and we forget the Lord.

In her book, Aging Faithfully, Alice Fryling writes about what she learned from insomnia:

Sleep has always been difficult for me, but about the time I turned sixty, insomnia came banging at my door. I lay awake every night for hours. Sometimes in anxiety, sometimes in boredom. I prayed every night that God would help me sleep. That didn't work. It only made my insomnia worse because then I would lie awake trying to solve the theological issues around unanswered prayer.

One tired morning as I sat in quiet, I began to wonder why God created us to sleep in the first place. If I were God, I would want people to stay awake to help take care of the world. But for about eight hours out of every twenty-four, God designed us to be asleep.

I realized that when I sleep, I am out of control. When I experience insomnia, I am also out of control. I certainly cannot make myself go to sleep. Perhaps insomnia and sleep accomplish the same purpose. In other words, insomnia was a reminder, like sleep, that we do not control our own lives, let alone the world. God is our Creator and is the one in charge.

My ‘theology of sleep’ is my own personal reminder that God is God and I am not. God is in control of my life, my waking and sleeping hours, in loving, creative, grace-filled ways. Apparently, my being out of control is part of God's design.

A father's alcohol consumption has long been overshadowed by the focus on what a mother drinks. But that could be about to change following more research.

For more than 50 years, scientists have warned about the risks of drinking alcohol in pregnancy. Recent research has found that a mother's consumption of as little as one drink a week may affect a child's brain development, cognitive function and behavior, and facial shape. For decades, public health campaigns have repeatedly said that there's no safe amount of alcohol for moms to drink while pregnant.

But as the risks of maternal alcohol consumption have become better documented, another potential contributing factor to FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) has remained largely overlooked: how much the father drinks.

Researcher Michael Golding at Texas A&M University studies alcohol exposure and fetal development. He said, "For years now, we've been hearing stories from women who said, 'I never drank during pregnancy, but now I have an FAS kid – and my male partner was a chronic alcohol abuser." But such stories often were dismissed as mothers being forgetful, if not outright lying.

However, recent research raises an intriguing possibility: these mothers were right all along. The idea that a father's alcohol consumption before conception could have an impact on the offspring may seem far-fetched. But recent population studies have found that babies whose fathers drank are at a higher risk for various poor health outcomes.

Based on the research so far, how much alcohol is "safe" for a father to drink if he knows his partner may conceive? We don't have that data. Still, he says, "If it were my sons, I would tell them to stop drinking altogether."

While the exact impact of paternal drinking has yet to be teased out, researchers agree on one thing. “There's this enormous burden that's been placed on women. But male health is important to fetal development. There is a responsibility of both parties here to support and provide for the health of the baby.”

The Super Bowl means fun, friends, beer, and nachos, but heart attacks and other life-threatening cardiac events rise during and after the big game and other major sporting events.

Cardiologists say that stress kicked off by the intensity of nail-biting plays, going deep on wings and chips, or downing epic amounts of alcohol can tax the heart and blood vessels. Dr. James O’Keefe said, “Nobody will be surprised to see people within 24 hours of the game” with cardiovascular emergencies. When you are emotionally invested in a game, your body prepares as if for battle.” Stress hormones flow in a fight-or-flight response, raising blood pressure, making the heart beat faster and making blood more likely to clot.

In a study of the 2006 FIFA World Cup, the incidence of cardiac emergencies in Bavaria was 2.66 times higher on days when the German team played, according to a study in the New England Journal of Medicine. These events were highest in the quarterfinal, when Germany beat Argentina in a penalty shootout. Most of the cardiac events occurred in the first two hours after the start of matches, though the numbers were higher for several hours before and after the contests.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Anxiety; Stress - The Bible warns of the dangers of stress and anxiety, urging believers to trust in God rather than being overwhelmed by worldly concerns (Phil. 4:6-7); 2) Self-control; Stewardship – The Bible teaches us that the Bible is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Overindulgence in unhealthy food, alcohol, and emotional stress during sporting events contradicts this principle (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

Every year, 2.8 million people around the globe die from alcohol abuse or misuse. The alcohol industry racks up an annual revenue of $1.5 trillion. Alcohol is also the leading cause of death globally for people age 15–49. It causes more than half of the 1.35 million traffic fatalities every year and is involved in the majority of homicides and cases of domestic violence.

Furthermore, despite the widespread belief that moderate alcohol consumption is good for your health, the only amount of alcohol consumption that doesn’t carry significant risk to your overall health is none.

Fifteen years ago, Sherry Hoppen was a mom of three, a ministry leader in her church, and a volunteer at her local pregnancy center when her younger brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. The tragedy triggered her own slow spiral into alcoholism—one that nearly destroyed her marriage and her life.

Over the next decade, Hoppen evolved from a casual drinker to an addict who barely recognized herself, always secretly drinking or causing scenes at family holidays due to her dependence. Like many who struggle, she thought she could “fix” herself and moderate her drinking, even as she daily hid vodka-filled water bottles inside her purse.

Hoppen said, “I was scared to tell anybody because I knew if I did, my drinking days were over. And I didn’t want people to see [our family] fail.”

Her husband was a church elder, she led the children’s church choir, and they were beloved business-people in their small Michigan community. She said, “I couldn’t imagine letting anybody see what was really going on. I didn’t want to go to rehab because . . . everybody knows if you go to rehab, including my kids.”

It took Hoppen four more years after recognizing her dependence to commit to sobriety. Her story as a churchgoing suburban mom concealing alcohol addiction is increasingly common. In 2023, around 9 percent of adult women in the US struggled with alcoholism—about 11.7 million women. This means that in an average church of 500 people, at least 20 women attending likely struggle with alcohol dependence as well.

Alcohol abuse is rarely discussed with or even known by a woman’s closest friends or spouse. Until recent decades, alcohol brands marketed themselves primarily to men. In the 1990s, however, the industry recognized that women were an under-tapped market. This led to the introduction of sugary drinks for “entry-level drinkers.” A decade later, “skinny” versions of premade cocktails launched for women who wanted low-calorie options. Rates of alcohol use disorder rose by 83% between 2002 and 2013, on par with the rise in feminized alcohol marketing.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Our silent shame robs others of community, solidarity, and support. Churches have an opportunity to meet women in the midst of their brokenness. People ultimately just want to belong, feel seen, and not be judged in their brokenness.

In today’s digital age, it’s become increasingly common for parents to hand their upset child a smartphone or tablet to calm them down. But could this seemingly harmless practice be hindering children’s emotional development? A new study from researchers suggests that using digital devices as emotional pacifiers may have unintended long-term consequences.

The researchers aimed to understand the relationship between parents using digital devices to regulate their children’s emotions and the development of children’s self-regulatory skills.

Self-regulation is a crucial skill that develops in early childhood. It involves the ability to manage one’s emotions, control impulses, and direct attention. These skills are essential for success in school and later in life. They help children navigate social situations, focus on tasks, and cope with frustration.

Imagine a scenario where a child is having a tantrum in a grocery store. A parent, desperate for a quick fix, hands over their smartphone to distract and calm the child. While this might work in the moment, the study suggests that repeatedly using this strategy could prevent the child from learning how to manage their emotions on their own. Children whose parents often relied on “digital pacifiers” showed more severe emotion-regulation problems, specifically, anger management problems, later in life.

Instead of relying on screens to soothe upset children, parents might consider alternative strategies that help kids learn to manage their emotions. For example, parents could try talking through emotions with their child, using deep breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity together like reading a book or coloring. These approaches may take more time and effort in the moment, but they could pay off in the long run by helping children develop crucial self-regulation skills.

Seven-time Superbowl champion Tom Brady was inducted into the New England Patriots Hall of Fame in a ceremony at Gillette Stadium on June 12, 2024. He thanked many people who helped him along the way. Near the end of his 20-minute speech, he spoke about the important life lessons he learned that made him and his team successful.

I would encourage everyone to play football for the simple reason that it is hard. It's hard when you're young to wake up in the offseason at 6:00 A.M. to go train and work out knowing that all your friends are sleeping in and eating pancakes. It's hard when you're on your way to practice, weighed down with all your gear and it's 90° out and all the other kids are at the pool or at the beach. And your body is already completely exhausted from workouts in two-a-days. It's hard to throw, catch, block and tackle and hit kids when they're way bigger and way more developed than you, only to go home that night bruised and battered and strained but knowing you have to show up again the next day for just the chance to try again.

But understand this: life is hard. No matter who you are, there are bumps and hits and bruises along the way. And my advice is to prepare yourself because football lessons teach us that success and achievement come from overcoming adversity. And that team accomplishment far exceeds anyone's individual goals. To be successful at anything, the truth is you don't have to be special. You just have to be what most people aren't: consistent, determined and willing to work for it. No shortcuts. If you look at all my teammates here tonight, it would be impossible to find better examples of men who embody that work ethic, integrity, purpose, determination and discipline that it takes to be a champion in life.

Editor’s Note: You can watch the video here (16 min. 45 sec – 18 min. 48 sec).

According to court documents, Sean Higgins had been working from home when he fielded an upsetting call with his mother about a personal matter. But he’d also been drinking, which according to his wife, had become a pattern as of late. So clearly there were many issues that contributed to the sense of chaos and discord in his life. But none were more destructive than his choice to get behind the wheel of his Jeep and drive, while talking on the phone, with an open container of alcohol in the car.

Later that evening, Higgins was driving down a rural road when the two vehicles in front of him slowed and veered to the left to avoid two bicyclists in the roadway. But Higgins was impatient, so he instead accelerated and tried to pass those vehicles on the right. Higgins didn’t see the two cyclists until it was too late. He drove his vehicle into them, and both cyclists were killed.

This instance of vehicular death would be a tragedy under any set of circumstances, but it just so happened that those men were Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. Johnny played hockey for the Columbus Blue Jackets of the National Hockey League, and he and his brother Matthew were scheduled to be groomsmen for their sister’s wedding in Philadelphia the next day. Johnny and Matt were both married; Johnny had two children and Matt’s wife was pregnant at the time of the crash.

“Johnny and Matt were incredible hockey players and students, but even more amazing human beings,” said Gloucester principal Thomas Iacovone Jr. in a statement. “Their loss will be felt forever by the entire Gloucester Catholic community and by me personally. I will continue to pray for them and their families during this unimaginable tragedy.”

Sean Higgins served in the United States Army as a second lieutenant for four years, and had earned a Bronze Star during a 15-month tour of duty in Iraq. He also served as a major in the New Jersey National Guard. During a recorded phone call from jail, Higgins admitted that he had a problem with aggressive driving.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Given Higgins’ domestic conflicts and propensity for drinking, it’s obvious he had issues adjusting to civilian life. If only he’d had the humility to ask for help sooner, he might have developed a set of healthier coping habits that could have prevented this tragedy.

For decades, a social psychologist named John Bargh has conducted studies on the way words affect behavior. In one such study, undergraduate students were given a scrambled-sentence test. One version of the test was sprinkled with rude words like “disturb,” “bother,” and “intrude.” Another version was sprinkled with polite words like “respect,” “considerate,” and “yield.” The subjects thought they were taking tests measuring lan­guage ability, but they were actually being subconsciously primed by those words.

Priming is a psychological phenomenon related to stimulus and response, and words are the lead actors. The word “nurse” is recognized more quickly if it’s preceded by the word “doctor.” The same goes for “dog” and “wolf.” Why? These words are semantic primes that cause you to think in categories. If I say Empire State Building, it puts you in a New York state of mind. In the same sense, the word “please” is a politeness prime.

After taking the five-minute scrambled-sentence test, stu­dents were supposed to walk down the hall and talk to the person running the experiment about their next assignment. However, an actor was strategically engaged in conversation with the researcher when the students arrived. The goal? Psychologist Bargh wanted to see whether the subjects who were primed with polite words would wait longer before interrupting than those who were primed with rude words.

The result? Sixty-five percent of the group primed with rude words interrupted the conversation. Those primed with polite words? Eighty-two percent of them never interrupted at all. If the test hadn't timed out at ten minutes, who knows how long they would have waited?

Possible Preaching Angle:

A few polite words. What difference do they make? In quantitative terms, they can make a 47% difference. Don’t underestimate the power of polite words.

Since the 2007 launch of the iPhone, smartphones have granted billions of people customized, password-protected, hand-held access to a near-limitless array of digital stimuli. And this portable, pervasive parallel universe is highly addictive, often by design.

The leading online pornography site, Pornhub, was founded in 2007, a few months before the first iPhone dropped. By 2009, the site was already receiving millions of monthly unique visitors. In November 2022, Pornhub was visited 10.2 billion times, making it the fourth most popular destination on the web, and 97% of that traffic came from mobile devices.

Cole Mushrush does two things when he wakes up each morning at the family ranch: make up a pot of coffee, then fire up his laptop to see if any cows have wandered astray. Not many do, because electronic collars have been hung around their necks that give them a jolt if they try to cross one of the invisible fence boundaries created on a computer. The digital fence follows the contours of a pasture, and the collars are designed to keep the cows hemmed in without having to go to the expense of building a real fence.

He said, “The collars have mostly deterred cows from wandering past the no-go zone—although the animals don’t always behave as desired after a shock that comes following warning beeps. Some of them close their eyes and run. We don’t need that.”

The cows undergo a four-day training regimen which included a beep followed by shock, and playing around with the boundaries. There were a few rule breakers, such as when a cow might see her friend on the other side of an invisible fence. Mushrush said, “There are social cliques within a herd. Sometimes a cow will walk through the shock to be with their friend.”

If you are wondering what the shock feels like, it is reported to hurt less than a bee sting.

Possible Preaching Angle:

We know we have freedom in Christ but sometimes we need to be reminded or warned that we are crossing a line which God has placed there for our good.

Potbellied pigs are running wild in Delaware, alarming agricultural officials and raising the risk of damage and disease. The problem started when people bought the pigs as pets, but then quickly discovered they couldn’t control them. The Delaware Department of Agriculture said, “Owners who can no longer manage these animals are likely to relinquish ownership and allow them to roam.”

Sellers often mislead buyers by calling the pigs micro pigs, teacup pigs, and mini pig. But potbellied pigs can weigh up to 200 pounds and can live up to 20 years. The pigs can reproduce at a young age. Female potbellied pigs can become pregnant at three months old, and males can breed at eight weeks of age. The wild pigs dig up and destroy crops. Feral swine can also leave fecal material in waterways and wetlands, contaminating water sources and increasing disease risks for humans, wildlife, and livestock.

Possible Preaching Angle:

In a similar way, we think that we can allow small sins into our lives because they are manageable or controllable, only to find out that they are not. They will run wild.

The following was taken from a newsletter for a medical group, not a Christian organization:

Do you indulge in a glass of wine every now and then? You are not alone. More than 85% of adults report drinking alcohol at some point. In 2020, alcohol consumption in the U.S. spiked, with heavy drinking increasing by 41% among women.

Alcohol affects your body quickly. It is absorbed through the lining of your stomach into your bloodstream. Once there, it spreads into tissues throughout your body. Alcohol reaches your brain in only five minutes and starts to affect you within 10 minutes.

After 20 minutes, your liver starts processing alcohol. On average, the liver can metabolize 1 ounce of alcohol every hour. A blood alcohol level of 0.08, the legal limit for drinking, takes around five and a half hours to leave your system. Alcohol will stay in urine for up to 80 hours and in hair follicles for up to three months. Drivers with a BAC of 0.08 or more are 11 times more likely to be killed in a single-vehicle crash than non-drinking drivers.