Self-help

Research suggests that when we make acts of kindness a habit, it's also good for our health. Whether it's volunteering at a local food bank, or taking soup to a sick neighbor, there's lots of evidence that when we help others, it can boost our own happiness and psychological well-being. But there's also growing research that it boosts our physical health too, says Tara Gruenewald, a psychologist at Chapman University.

Perhaps the most striking evidence comes from the Baltimore Experience Corps trial, a large experiment in which adults age 60 and older were randomly assigned to either volunteer at elementary schools or be put on a waiting list. The volunteers spent at least 15 hours a week tutoring underprivileged kids. After two years, the researchers found that the volunteers had measurable changes in their brain health.

One of the researchers said, "They didn't experience declines in memory and executive function like we saw in our control participants. And there were even changes in brain volume in areas of the brain that support these different cognitive processes.” Volunteers were also more physically active, "which is important for maintaining both cognitive and physical health as folks age.”

Another researcher added, "Volunteering or doing an act of kindness can distract you from some of the problems that you might be having, so you might be a little bit less reactive yourself. And "it may help to give you more perspective on what your own problems are." Also, when you go out to help others, it also makes you more physically active and less lonely. Social isolation is a known risk factor for physical and mental health problems, especially as we age.

At the very least, volunteering will make the world a little bit better place for many others. And we might just make it a little bit better for ourselves.

Outside St. James Church in Shere, England, you will find a metal plaque marking the site of the cell of Christine Carpenter, Anchoress of Shere 1329.

An anchoress was a person who would withdraw from common life to dedicate themselves to God and bind themselves to the church by living the rest of their earthly life within a small cell. Much like many anchorite abodes, Christine’s small cell was attached to the church and installed with a small opening through which she would receive food, and a squint window into the church that allowed her to participate in services.

As noted on the plaque, Christine’s life as an anchoress began in 1329. She explained to the Bishop of Winchester that she wished to be removed from the world’s distractions to lead a more pious life. This request was granted following queries into Christine’s moral qualities and chastity, and she was sealed into the cell in July of the same year. As she began her lifelong vow of seclusion, a burial service was read for she was considered dead to the sinful world, the cell being her symbolic tomb.

Despite her oaths, Christine broke out of the anchorage after almost three years and attempted to rejoin society. Having broken her holy vow, Christine was threatened with ex-communication. It is perhaps this threat that led Christine to return to seclusion and isolation. By October of 1332, she had called on the Pope to pardon her sin on the condition she return to her anchorage. This she did, and there she remained for the rest of her mortal life.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It may sound attractive to seal ourselves away from worldly temptations. However, God calls his people to something much more difficult: Dying to the world while still living in it (Gal. 6:14). We are to be living saints (Phil. 4:21, Eph. 4:12), in the world with all its temptations and trials, so that we become testimonies to God’s grace and salvation.

Controversies abound regarding social media in general and TikTok in particular. And there’s nothing new or novel about older people expressing consternation about the slang terms embraced by younger generations. But there’s a particular convergence of those two trends that have experts especially concerned.

Mental health experts have expressed concerns about the rise of slang terms related to mental health among Gen-Z users on TikTok. Terms like “menty b” (short for mental breakdown) and “grippy sock vacation” (a euphemism for a mental-health-related inpatient hospital stay) are becoming more and more common as more users on the video sharing platform talk more openly about their mental health struggles.

These terms are examples of “algo-speak,” a lexicon of euphemistic terms related to controversial topics that TikTok producers use to prevent automated content moderation systems from downranking their content. In this sense, some mental health professionals applaud the rise of “menty b” and similar variants because speaking more openly on these topics helps to mitigate the stigmas against mental health disclosure. "Saying 'I had a menty b' takes control of the narrative," says therapist Michael Dzwil.

On the other hand, there are some that feel that terms like “menty b” can serve to trivialize serious mental health struggles and prevent people from seeking professional help, opting instead to self-diagnose and seek remedies from other TikTok users.

In Dixon’s conclusion, she recommends users find a balance between pursuing community and finding accurate information. “Wit can't resolve clinical cases alone; treatment necessitates accurate diagnoses and responsive modalities. Pithy phrases make struggles digestible, yet downplay their gravity when inappropriately applied.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

God made us for community so we ought to share our struggles with each other.

An Aperture video goes into some depth as to how the promises of self-help and New Age teachings fail to deliver what the individual truly needs. The narrator says:

Today a snake oil salesperson describes someone who advertises or sells any product that promises the world and fails to deliver. Sadly, that's the story of self-improvement, at least as it is today. Because while it might seem like a new trend, the idea of self-help dates back to early philosophers like Seneca and Socrates. In the Fifth Century BC Socrates spoke about the constant improvement of your soul. He insisted that practices like meditation, fasting, prayer, and exercise could feed your soul and therefore improve your life.

Hundreds of years later, in the 1970s, the New Age movement arose and preached a philosophy of personal transformation and healing. The movement revolved around accessing our spiritual energy through yoga, meditation, tarot card readings, and astrology. This idea that we could elevate ourselves has persisted. But like most things in the West, once people found out just how much money they could make, self-improvement shifted from being a guide for those who needed it the most to a product reserved for those who could afford it.

Deepak Chopra, a prominent figure in the New Age movement, tells us that our mental health can determine our physical reality, that we can think ourselves into being healthier and happier. After his ideas were popularized by Oprah Winfrey, Chopra became an international sensation. He held seminars and became a spiritual advisor to celebrities like Michael Jackson. Needless to say, lost souls worldwide have made Chopra a very wealthy man.

Possible Preaching Angle:

One of the biggest problems with self-help is that just like snake oil salespersons, self-help experts claim to be able to heal the world with their speech. In reality, whether you're Chopra or one of the hundreds of other experts, the false path to self-improvement continues to ruin lives.

Paul Ford writes in an article on Wired, what happened when he switched his weight loss meds and found a miracle cure. Decades of struggle with an insatiable desire for food, gone in an instant. But his reflection on the experience is less of an advertisement as it is a probing of human nature amid advances in pharmacology. He writes:

This is a technology that will reorder society. I have been the living embodiment of the deadly sin of gluttony, judged as greedy and weak since I was 10 years old — and now the sin is washed away. Baptism by injection. But I have no more virtue than I did a few months ago. I just prefer broccoli to gloopy chicken. Is this who I am?

How long is it before there’s an injection for your appetites, your vices? Maybe they’re not as visible as mine. Would you self-administer a weekly anti-avarice shot? Can Big Pharma cure your sloth, lust, wrath, envy, pride?

On this front, the parallels between Ford’s weight loss drug and every other drug are almost obvious (whether they be coffee, THC, or any fill-in-the-blank name brand). The alluring promise that frailty is simply a matter of chemistry. More interesting is what happens to Ford himself after the one signal pathway is silenced — his brain averts its gaze elsewhere:

Where before my brain had been screaming, screaming, at air-raid volume — there was sudden silence. It was confusing. […] “I urgently need, I thought … Something to fill the silence where food used to be. Every night for weeks I spent four, five hours twisting Moog knobs. Not making music. Just droning, looping, and beep-booping. I needed something to obsess over, to watch YouTube videos about. I needed something to fail at every night to feel normal.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The flesh is never satisfied and cannot be conquered by human will or science. Impeding one of the desires of the flesh simply ignites another. The church of big pharma might provide a kind of cure, but there is no panacea for human nature, except “the washing of new birth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:5).

The search for self-esteem through religion and moral virtue presents a greater problem. No matter how good we have been and what we have done for God and others, there is always somebody whose relative goodness makes us feel less than.

Consider the example of John and Libby Moritz who lost all three of their children in a car crash. In response to their grief, they founded a nonprofit for vulnerable children. They sponsored orphanages in Mexico and Grenada, provided scholarships in Kenya and India, alleviated hunger in the Philippines, and provided shoes in Guatemala. They bought a large farm and turned it into a foster home. In virtually everything, they became other-centered. They used their own money to fund the work. In the summers, John tended to his swimming pool business. During off months, they visited the orphanages and programs they sponsored.

Unsurprisingly, the article about the Moritz’s began, “Prepare to feel a little guilty. It’s not that John and Libby Moritz would want anybody to feel guilty. It’s just that if you want to compare good deeds checks list with them, yours will probably come up short.”

Mount Walker, about 60 miles northwest of Seattle, is said to have remarkable views. But one woman’s unforgettable experience atop the mountain restricted her field of view considerably. That’s because she fell into a pit toilet trying to rescue her phone.

According to Fire Department Chief Tim Manly, she was using her phone on the pit toilet when it fell inside. She first tried to remove the toilet seat in order to reach in, and then used her dog leash as a makeshift rope to lower herself in. That effort, however, failed--dropping her headfirst into the toilet.

Once reunited with her phone, she tried and failed to climb out. After that didn’t work, she called 911 for help. Once firefighters arrived on the scene, they used a surprisingly low-tech solution: cinder blocks, which she used to stand on. After she was high enough, they were able to attach a harness and lift her out of the toilet.

According to the department’s statement, the woman was uninjured and strongly encouraged to seek medical attention, but she only wanted to leave. Chief Manly said, “I’ve been doing this for 40 years. And that was a first.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Sometimes when we think we can fix things on our own we end up making things worse. Sometimes God prompts us to take action; other times, to wait until proper help can arrive. Wisdom is in discerning the difference between the two.

For well over three decades, Patrick Vacarella has been a fixture at a local Christmas tree lot, helping local families get into the holiday spirit. He says, “It’s kind of fun to see everybody every year, and they remember you from year to year because you’ve been there for so long.”

The lot is run by the Mountain Scouts Tree Sale Association, and serves as a fundraiser for several local Boy Scout troops. Ironically, the inciting incident that launched Vacarella into his annual tradition of service was not exactly Boy Scout behavior.

Back in 1987, Vacarella was a headstrong teenager who loved to show off his 1979 Pontiac Trans Am. So he made a habit of pulling up to stop signs and burning his tires’ rubber on the asphalt, leaving a trail of smoke in his wake. As he’d done many times before, Vacarella approached the intersection on Highway 31 next to the Christmas tree lot, where there were sure to be plenty of onlookers.

However, Bo Young, who ran the lot at the time, wanted to teach Vacarella a lesson. So he’d previously called police, who were waiting just around the corner. Immediately after his big burnout, police appeared and pulled the teen over. They gave him two choices – either pay a hefty fine for a traffic ticket, or instead, volunteer at the Christmas tree lot for a few weeks. He chose the second option.

But it wasn’t long before what seemed like a punishment became a privilege. He quickly became friends with Young’s two sons Matt and Paul, and together they helped families pick out trees and tie them onto their cars. Vacarella enjoyed it so much, he agreed to do it again the following year, and then the year after.

Vacarella says, “It got to a point where it was fun. It seems like every year I was up there, I got to do something else until it evolved into me being lot manager. Sometimes, I ask myself, due to how long I’ve been in this, if I just shouldn’t have paid the ticket and went on.”

But his answer is obvious. “You see the same people every year, and they’re like, ‘Well, I knew you would be here when I came; good to see you again.’”

Possible Preaching Angle:

God often uses the repercussions of our misbehavior to invite us into newer, healthier ways of living. In God's kingdom, discipline is less punishment and more an invitation into wholeness.

Stephen Colbert, host of The Late Night Show, asked Ringo Starr, “What happens when you die?”

Starr replied, “I think we go to heaven.”

Colbert asked, “What’s heaven like?”

“Heaven’s great, but you don’t stay there very long; you just gotta get yourself together again and come deal with all that [stuff] you didn’t deal with last time you were here.”

On the final episode of the podcast Dolly Parton’s America, Dolly offered various responses to the question: “What is the theology of Dolly Parton?”

After stating that she was “spiritual not religious,” Parton said, “The Bible says let every man seek out his own salvation, and that means to save himself. Whatever it takes to save you, and if you can get to that place and find your own peace then you can do good for other people if you are at peace with yourself.”

When asked about the afterlife, Parton responded, “You don’t really know, you just hope, and you have faith. That’s what faith is. I think it’s not the end of me. I don’t think it’s the end of any of us. I think we’re recycled and if nothing else we just go back into that great flow of divine energy and hopefully we spread ourselves around in other wonderful ways.”

In the depths of World War II, Swedish authorities decided their citizens needed to know what to do if the fighting finally arrived on their doorstep. Though they maintained neutrality, it was hard to believe they could continue to do so—especially as their Nordic neighbors got caught in the tides of violence. So, they decided on a handy pamphlet, delivered to households across Sweden. Roughly translated to "If War Comes," the pamphlets offered tips for how to interpret sirens and what to take along in the case of evacuation.

The pamphlets didn't end with the war. For more than four decades, Sweden distributed these little bits of instruction on catastrophe—until the end of the Cold War seemed to diminish their usefulness and they were discontinued. Now, Sweden is bringing them back.

The Swedish Civil Contingencies Agency is organizing a reboot of the pamphlet, this time augmenting its advice on conventional warfare with tips on how to grapple with threats of this era: terrorism and cyberattacks, pandemics, misinformation campaigns, and crises related to climate change.

The agency expects to deliver these pamphlets to 4.7 million Swedish households. A spokesman for the agency said, “Back then the focus was only on war; today society looks totally different. There are considerably more complex threats. People need to learn more and know more about how to handle … their own and their nearest relatives’ fundamental needs for a while.”

For the last 20 years sociologist Peter Simi has spent time with and studied white supremacist groups and individuals. Many groups, such as the White Aryan Resistance, Nazi Lowriders, and Public Enemy No. 1, have allowed him as an observer into their private meetings. Simi explains how difficult it is for those leaving the groups, giving a specific example.

A young woman named Bonnie and her husband were fully indoctrinated and committed to white supremacist beliefs. In a domestic dispute unrelated to their white-power group, a relative shot their daughter. At the hospital two black doctors saved her life. This changed Bonnie and her husband, who then “tried to retrain their minds, free themselves of racist views.” They even went so far as to move to a nearby Southern California area with numerous black and Latino families.

Things became undone one day when Bonnie realized she had received the wrong order after going through a local drive-thru restaurant. The clerk refused to correct the order when she went inside. All the workers were Mexican and didn’t speak good English. Bonnie became enraged, swore at the clerk, told her to get out of her country, exclaimed “white power” and left displaying the Nazi salute.

After that eruption, Bonnie collapsed in her car outside of the restaurant, crying, asking herself why she did that. Why had she reverted to a state of hate that she had been trying to push away? It was clear to Simi that she felt shame about how she had reacted. Simi believes that for many, being part of white-power groups becomes like an addiction. Those who try to quit hating usually will relapse, because racism burrows deep into the psyche, and merely leaving the group cannot expunge it. Simi calls this ‘the hangover effect.’ He has tried to get mental health services for some white supremacists who are on the fence about leaving, or have already left, their hate groups. But few counselors will agree to take them on. Simi says their response is: ‘We’re not qualified.’

The Indigenous Arts In Prisons & Community program, also known as The Torch, has become an incredible boon for inmates in Victoria, Australia. It allows inmates to sell their artwork to the public, helping them manage the stress of their incarceration as well as assisting in their post-prison rehabilitation. The proceeds from the art sales are placed into a trust, which then reimburses the artists upon their release from prison. Last year alone, The Torch provided $280,000 for prisoners and ex-prisoners.

Victorian Ombudsman Deborah Glass founded The Torch in 2015 during her research into prisoner rehabilitation, when it was only a program that allowed inmates to express themselves through art. She saw the success of the program but was bothered by the fact that the prisoners weren't allowed to make money from their work, so she set out to change that.

According to Glass, The Torch is not only a great place to purchase art (she's got several pieces in her newest office space) and help inmates change their lives for the better, but it's also a great investment.

"When you think about what it costs society when somebody comes out of prison without support, commits crime, and goes back in again—[it's] over a billion dollars a year," Glass said. "If we can invest some portion of that into the sort of programs that prevent reoffending how much better off are we?"

Potential Preaching Angles: Hardship can often sensitize us toward God's beauty and wonder. God's blueprint for justice includes restoration. Godly correction is not condemnation, but an opportunity for repentance.

Some silly people are terrified of spiders. If you're one of them, then a recent story from the New York Times is for you. Apparently, a Seattle man tried to kill a spider in his laundry room with a homemade blow torch—"a very dangerous can of spray paint set aflame by a lighter." Big mistake. The result? He burned his house down.

By the time the fire department put out the blaze that ensued, it had caused $40,000 in damages to the house and $20,000 to property inside. It is unclear if the spider survived." This "solution" was definitely worse than the problem.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Same for many of our lives—the fixes we come up with are often foolish, ill-advised, or downright dangerous. We feel lonely, so we turn to the "company" of pornography or an abusive relationship to "solve" the issue. We feel insignificant, so we turn for affirmation on social media, leading to the original problem spiraling out of control. What we need is a solution bigger than the problems we face, and ultimately, there's only one—Jesus.

In a 2013 interview, a reporter reminded Megan Fox that famous actresses like herself and Marilyn Monroe often end their lives in self-destruction. Ms. Fox seemed to agree, which is perhaps why she also mentioned that she hasn't been able to completely forsake the Christian faith of her childhood. In the interview she talked about her connection to church and worship:

I have seen magical, crazy things happen [during worship services]. I've seen people healed. Even now, in the church I go to, during Praise and Worship I could feel that I was maybe getting ready to speak in tongues …. I can't stand pills. I don't like drinking. I don't like feeling out of control …. You have to understand, [at church] I feel safe. I was raised to believe that you're safe in God's hands. But I don't feel safe with myself.

Possible Preaching Angle: (1) Salvation, need for; Help from God; Dependence on God—Ms. Fox said, "I don't feel safe with myself." We don't know much about her relationship with God, but despite her wealth and fame it appears that she understands her need for God's help and mercy. (2) Church, Body of Christ—Ms. Fox may not be fully walking with Christ, but she understands this—church should feel like a safe place for believers and unbelievers. It should also be a safe place where in and through Christ we can feel safe in God's hands.

The World Puzzle Championship takes place every year at locations around the globe. In 2023 the event was held in Valladolid, Spain and drew contestants from 54 countries. According to an article, these connoisseurs of puzzles "eat, dream, and on rare occasions when they sleep, dream about puzzles full time." They're the true fanatics and geniuses of the puzzle world. But the article also noted that hundreds of millions of people around the world do crossword puzzles, play Sudoku, or participate in puzzles on their computers, phones, or tablets.

Why are puzzles so wildly popular all around the globe? Will Shortz, the crossword editor of The New York Times and NPR, has this to say:

We're faced with problems every day in life, and we almost never get clarity. We jump into the middle of a problem, we carry it through to whatever extent we can to find an answer, and then … we just find the next thing. [But] with a human made puzzle you have the satisfaction of being completely in control: you start the challenge from the beginning, and you move all the way to the end. That's a satisfaction you don't get much in real life. You feel in control, and that's a great feeling.

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Control; Self-reliance; Self-sufficiency; Pride—This story illustrates our human but prideful tendency to control our own lives rather than surrender to the Lord, asking for his help in the challenges of life. (2) Mystery—God is not a puzzle that we can figure out and control. God will always remain beyond our grasp.

For nearly a hundred years a beautiful mural of Jesus had held pride of place in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church in Borja, Spain. The "Ecce Homo" (Behold the Man) style-painting, was completed by Elias Garcia Martinez in the 1930s.

But in August of 2012, an 80-year-old church member named Cecilia Gimenez took it upon herself to touch up the painting. She was right about one thing: the painting needed some work. After decades of moisture buildup, the painting had started to deteriorate, and the colors had started to fade. So Cecilia initiated her do-it-yourself restoration project.

Despite her good intentions, it didn't turn out well. The New York Times said that it was "probably the worst art restoration project of all time." A Spanish blog called it "the restoration that turned into destruction." And a BBC article said, "The delicate brushstrokes by Elias Garcia Martinez have been buried under a haphazard splattering of paint. The once-dignified portrait [of Jesus] now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic."

In later interviews, Ms. Gimenez defended her decision. At some points, she blamed the parish priest, claiming that he had initiated the project. But on other occasions she took responsibility for her attempt to fix the painting. "We've always fixed everything ourselves in this church," she said. "We saw everything was falling down, and we fixed it."

The town council will bring in experts to try to repair her work, but since the painting was originally done in oils directly onto a church wall, they face a nearly impossible task.

It's a good reminder that some projects in life—like restoring your own soul or fixing other people—just aren't good do-it-yourself projects.

In his book Invisible Men, Dr. Michael E. Addis tells the story about meeting a middle-aged man named Patrick. Although by all accounts Patrick was an easygoing, happily-married family man who ran a successful business, he had just tried to take his own life. After some prodding from Dr. Addis, Patrick finally divulged the events that led to his suicide attempt. His business had steadily slowed until he was unable to make the mortgage payment on their new house. Things went downhill financially from there. Then the economy crashed.

Dr. Addis writes:

[But] it was Patrick's response to these events that really struck me. Rather than letting his wife and close friends know about the struggles he was facing, Patrick kept it all to himself. Over time, the gap between what people thought was going on in his life and what was actually going on grew larger, and Patrick became profoundly depressed. He couldn't face working, but he also couldn't face telling people how bad things had gotten …. Eventually the depression became so overwhelming that he saw no other way out.

"How could I face them?" he asked. "What would they think of me? In their eyes I'd look like a has-been, somebody whose time had come and gone, only because he couldn't handle it."

"But those were extremely difficult experiences you had," I said. "Nobody could have foreseen the financial difficulties."

"I should have been able to. Besides, that's not what I'm talking about. I should have been able to handle it emotionally. Instead, I fell apart and turned into a sniveling little boy. What was I going to say, 'Oh, Mommy, please help me?' I couldn't let people see me like that."

On the one hand, it seemed obvious to me that no man would want to see himself like a little boy asking for Mommy's help. But then if you stopped and thought about it, is asking for help worse than dying? How far will a man go to hide his shame? How many Patricks are there who would rather [suffer alone] than try to break through the gauntlet of silence and invisibility that prevents them from finding the support they so desperately need?

Sarah Ferguson is an English ex-royal. Commonly called "Fergie" and well known to readers of tabloids, the red-haired former Duchess of York was married to Prince Andrew, the second son of Queen Elizabeth, from 1986 till their divorce in 1996.

Sarah found her place in the tabloids through missteps and scandals. Her Wikipedia biography says,

By 1991, the marriage was in trouble, and the couple had drifted apart. While her husband was away on naval or royal duties, the Duchess was frequently seen in the company of other men …. Prince Andrew and the Duchess of York finally announced their separation in 1992 ….

The Duchess endured widespread public ridicule contributing to her further estrangement from the British Royal Family. After four years of official separation, the Duke and Duchess announced the mutual decision to divorce in 1996.

A 2011 article about Sarah in The Week reported on her more recent troubles. She was caught trying to sell access to her former husband for $40,000. She nearly went bankrupt. And she received a painful royal snub: she was not among the 1,900 people invited to the 2011 royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Sarah did watch the wedding, however, and she says,

With Catherine going up the aisle, you know what went through my head? I feel like I've handed her the baton and said, "Well done. And you'll do it right." I didn't do it right, and now I am going to go get Sarah right."

In that pursuit, we can all identify with Sarah Ferguson. Sooner or later, we come to the point where we realize we've botched things up royally, and we need to fix not just a situation—we need to fix ourselves. And that raises one of the most important questions you'll ever try to answer: What do you do when you decide you're going to go get yourself right? How do you go about that? The world and our own sense of morality tells us one thing; the gospel tells us quite another.

In a sermon, John Ortberg said:

My friend, Jimmy, and his son, Davey, were playing in the ocean down in Mexico, while his family—his wife, daughters, parents, and a cousin—were on the beach. Suddenly, a rogue riptide swept Davey out to the sea. Immediately Jimmy started to do whatever he could to help Davey get back to the shore, but he, too, was soon swept away in the tide. He knew that in a few minutes, both he and Davey would drown. He tried to scream, but his family couldn't hear him.

Jimmy's a strong guy—an Olympic Decathlete—but he was powerless in this situation. As he was carried along by the water, he had a single, chilling thought: My wife and my daughters are going to have to have a double funeral.

Meanwhile, his cousin, who understood something about the ocean, saw what was happening. He walked out into the water where he knew there was a sandbar. He had learned that if you try to fight a riptide, you will die. So, he walked to the sandbar, stood as close as he could get to Jimmy and Davey, and then he just lifted his hand up and said, "You come to me. You come to me."

If you try to go the way your gut tells you to go—the shortest distance into shore—you will die. If you think for yourself, you will die. God says, "If you come to me, you will live." That's it—death or life.