Self-image

In a New York Times interview, Lady Gaga discussed the pain and brokenness she’s experienced in her life as a star:

On being treated as “a commodity” she said: “I also can say with a lot of honesty that, being in the music industry since I was a teenager, some of it is how much you are willing to give away. Things like eating at the dinner table with your family, it never happens. Being in a room by yourself never happens.”

On losing touch with reality, she said: “At a certain point, I just completely lost touch with reality. I was falling so deeply into the fantasy of my artwork and my stage persona that I lost touch… I had psychosis. I was not deeply in touch with reality for a while. It took me out of life in a big way, and after a lot of years of hard work I got myself back.”

The singer-actress says she’s doing better, largely through a relationship with her current fiancé, but she still claims that she’s “kind of at war with myself sometimes as I get ready to, hopefully, become a mom soon. Like, today is wonderful, but the whole day has revolved around me. There’s an incredible amount of narcissism in this. How do I live a life where I’m passionate about my art while also making more space for other things?”

Women’s tennis star Madison Keys had been around the sport for a decade and a half, a much-admired player with sizable talent, but…never…quite…breaking through on one of tennis’s signature stages. Until she finally won the Australian Open in March of 2025.

Before Australia, Keys reached only one major final, the U.S. Open in 2017. That had been a cruelly brief day, as she fell 6-3, 6-0. As she reached her late 20s, the notion of not living up to expectations gnawed at her.

“It started becoming this internal build up…is it ever going to happen?” Keys recalled. “It was getting to the point where I was fairly unhappy with myself, and not just on a tennis court. It was starting to bleed into my life.”
“I was supposed to be great, but I’m not,” Keys remembered thinking.
Finally, she confronted the isolating pressures of her sport. Self-worth had become tied to results, or the lack thereof.

“It was one of those things where you say it out loud, pause, and you’re like, “Wow, that’s a lot to carry around,” she said.

Keys made a critical choice: She would stop defining herself by wins and losses. She was an elite athlete with plenty to be thankful for. The realization was liberating. “You can finally get to the point of letting some things go,” she said.

An accountant who fills out spreadsheets at the beach, a dog groomer who always has time for one more client, a basketball player who shoots free throws to the point of exhaustion.

Every profession has its share of hard chargers and overachievers. But for some workers — perhaps more than ever in our always-on, always-connected world — the drive to send one more email, clip one more poodle, sink one more shot becomes all-consuming.

Workaholism is a common feature of the modern workplace. A recent review found that roughly 15 percent of workers qualify as workaholics. That adds up to millions of overextended employees around the world who don’t know when — or how, or why — to quit.

Workaholism could be on the upswing thanks to Zoom, Slack and every other technological advance that makes it easier for people to work anywhere, anytime. Behavioral scientist Toon Taris says. “It is something I’m worried about. The conditions for workaholism to develop have never been as good as today.”

Psychologist Malissa Clark agrees that the stage seems to be set for more people to find their inner workaholics. She said, “The mass shift to working from home and remote work may have changed some of our communication patterns and expectations.” Working from home, which became especially widespread during the pandemic, likely created a new group of always-on workers who lost all sight of the boundaries between work and home life. It’s troubling, she says. “Even just your average worker might now start to be more of a workaholic.”

Jack Hassell, a human resource specialist in New Zealand, interviewed an academic who got a wake-up call during the massive Christchurch earthquake of 2011. When the earthquake started, they were reluctant to quit work and leave their desk, Hassell says. Finally forced to exit the shaking building, the academic had an epiphany. “They realized, ‘Oh my God, I was so consumed with work I was willing to almost die.’”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Part of the curse (Gen. 3:19) introduced toil and effort into our lives. Yet, God never meant for us to become slaves to our work. In fact, He insists that we take a day of rest for every six days we labor (Exod. 20:8-11; Luke 23:56).

Those constant Zoom calls and Google Meets are fundamentally altering how individuals perceive their facial appearance. A study shows that people spending more time staring at their digital reflections than the actual speaker. In addition, thanks to appearance-enhancing filters, they’re finding themselves more likely to consider cosmetic procedures as a result.

Much like staring into a mirror for extended periods, spending hours on video calls has created a new form of self-scrutiny. Platform features like “touch-up my appearance” filters, which provide an airbrushed effect, might amplify this effect by presenting users with an idealized version of themselves. This phenomenon shares similarities with ‘Snapchat dysmorphia,’ where people seek surgical changes to replicate their filtered images.

Survey results show that nearly 89% used videoconferencing platforms more than three days per week. Perhaps more tellingly, 68% reported using appearance-enhancing filters more than half the time during their calls. 66% of participants admitted to focusing more on their own image than on the speaker or presented material during video meetings.

Most striking was the connection between self-viewing behavior and cosmetic procedure interest. Among those who frequently watched themselves during video calls, over 80% expressed interest in cosmetic treatments. Popular procedures under consideration included chemical peels, fat reduction, laser treatments, surgical reconstruction, dermal fillers, and neuromodulators like Botox.

In 1889, Vincent van Gogh committed himself to a psychiatric asylum in Southern France, where he spent a turbulent year creating roughly 150 paintings, including masterpieces such as “Irises,” “Almond Blossom” and “The Starry Night.”

Now, a former curator of ancient art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art has teamed up with a group of conservators, scientists, and historians who believe they’ve discovered No. 151. It is a previously unknown Van Gogh portrait of a fisherman plucked from a Minnesota garage sale a few years ago by an unsuspecting antiques collector in Minnesota. The dealer called to say he’d spotted this fisherman in a bin of other paintings at a garage sale. He’d bought it because he liked the work’s impasto, or thickly painted brushstrokes.

A team of specialists is trying to prove that the canvas bought for less than $50 was painted by the iconic artist and is now worth $15 million.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Human Worth; Value - Just as we often find unexpected treasures in the most unlikely places, people, too, carry within themselves hidden value that may not be immediately apparent. Each individual holds unique talents, perspectives, and strengths waiting to be discovered and appreciated. By taking the time to look beyond the surface, we open ourselves to the possibility of uncovering remarkable qualities in others.

A new study reveals the alarming impact of TikTok on young adults’ body image, showing that just 7 to 8 minutes of exposure to certain content can significantly damage one’s body image.

Researchers studied female TikTok users aged 18 to 28. Participants were split into two groups: one watched what the authors deemed “pro-anorexia” and “fitspiration” content, while the other viewed neutral videos like nature and cooking clips. Interestingly enough, both groups reported a decrease in their self-esteem after watching the videos. But those exposed to fitspiration content had the greatest decrease in body image satisfaction.

This isn’t an isolated finding. Other studies have shown that prolonged social media use is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and disordered eating behaviors.

One of the most concerning aspects is how widespread this content is. 64% of participants reported seeing disordered eating videos on their For You page without searching for it. Even seeking out positive content on TikTok can lead to inadvertent exposure to harmful material.

The study’s findings add to the ongoing discussion of the negative impact of social media on the mental and physical health of young adults. Earlier in 2024 at a U.S. Senate hearing that included TikTok CEO Shou Chew, senators made one thing clear: tech companies need to be held responsible for not protecting young users from harm.

“You have blood on your hands,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham in his opening remarks. “You have a product that’s killing people … You can’t be sued, you should be!”

The study shows that it only takes a few minutes on TikTok to cause serious damage. In order to protect one’s body image, it might be time for young adults to rethink how they use social media.

Yet another study shows what should be obvious: teenagers need to spend time with dad. The study tracked over 200 families and found that time with both parents starts to decrease when kids reach the age of 15. But the University of Pennsylvania study also found that the time teens spend with their dads has critical benefits.

A CNN article stated, "The more time spent alone with their fathers, the higher their self-esteem; the more time with their dads in a group setting, the better their social skills." The article also said that time with mom helps too, but there's just something special about time with dad.

The researchers conjectured that one-on-one time with dad "may develop higher general self-worth [in teenagers] because their fathers go beyond social expectations to devote undivided attention to them."

The message is clear: dads can make a huge difference in their kids' lives.

The influence of Christianity has declined in the United States. Yet in maternity wards across the country, when newborns scrunch up their tiny faces and fill their lungs with their first breaths of air, parents regularly turn to Scripture. They give their children biblical names.

Some Bible names are more popular than ever. One hundred years ago, for example, Noah was the 400th most common newborn name in America. But in the early 1990s, the number of babies named after the ark-building patriarch rose rapidly. By 1996, Noah was the 50th most popular baby name for boys, and by 2009, it was in the top 10. For the past decade, Noah has been the No. 1 or No. 2 name for boys.

A few names, such as Mary and Martha, have become less popular, but other Bible names appear resistant to cultural change. A girl born in America today is about as likely to be named Elizabeth as she would have been a century ago. David was the 28th most popular boy name in 1920. It was 25th in 2020. Other popular names include Eden, Grace, Elijah, and John.

America has changed a lot in 100 years. But when it comes to naming babies, plenty of people still go back to the Bible.

Anxiety around aging may be universal, but recently some members of Gen Z have been voicing acute distress. A few widely circulated social media posts have advanced the tantalizing theory that Gen Z is “aging like milk,” which is to say, not well.

In one viral TikTok video that has been seen nearly 20 million times, Jordan Howlett, a 26-year-old with a dense beard and professorial glasses, says that he thinks he and other members of Gen Z look more mature because of the stressors heaped on the generation. In another, a wrinkle-free young woman named Taylor Donoghue feigns outrage at commenters who thought she might be in her early 30s. “Bye digging my own grave,” Ms. Donoghue, who is 23, wrote in her video’s caption.

The oldest members of Gen Z are around 27. It may be that, like every human before them, they are simply getting older. The trend is all but certain to persist.

People today may say that it shouldn’t matter what other people think about you. All that matters is what you think of you, that you live up to your standards and do what you think is right. I propose that that is utter nonsense. We are utterly dependent on others to name, bless, and affirm us.

Imagine a poet who says, “You know, I've been writing poetry for 10 years and I've let 3,000 people read my poems. Everyone has hated them. Everyone says, ‘This is stupid, this is terrible, this is bad. You must get another job.’” But the poet says, “It doesn't matter what they think. I know I'm a great poet.”

Would you say, “Well, there's a person with a great self-image?” Of course not. You’d probably say, “That’s a person on the verge of insanity. They are not functional.” And you know the reason why? Because we cannot bless ourselves. We cannot feel beautiful just because we keep saying I'm beautiful. You cannot bless yourself. You cannot name yourself. You cannot say I'm somebody. Somebody from outside has got to tell you you're beautiful. Somebody from the outside has got to tell you you're a good poet. Somebody from the outside has got to bless you. Somebody from the outside has got to name you. You can't do it yourself.

And that means you are completely dependent, or you will be completely dependent on somebody else, spiritually. Your whole being is going to rest on somebody, whether it's the critics, your parents, somebody you hope to marry, somebody you have married, or somebody else. Like sheep, we are dependent on others for our survival and flourishing.

Leadership can kill you. At least leadership in high stakes positions.

Nineteen chief executives died in office in 2023, the most since 2010, according to Challenger, Gray & Christmas, which tracks turnover at U.S. companies. The outplacement firm tallied a record 1,914 CEO exits in 2023, which Senior Vice President Andy Challenger partly attributes to the post-pandemic burnout that many execs feel. In a January survey of 600 C-suite executives by the professional network Chief, 37% said avoiding burnout would be a personal challenge this year.

A candid help-wanted ad might go something like this: Company seeks visionary leader to take business to the next level. Incumbent will be paid handsomely but may have fewer years to enjoy earnings because the stress of the role can reduce life expectancy.

Ivan Menezes was a few weeks shy of retiring as CEO when he died last June at age 63. The company said he was hospitalized for stomach ulcers and died after a brief illness. Notable CEOs who suffered fatal heart attacks on the job in the past 20 years include Jim Cantalupo of McDonald’s, Samuel “Skip” Ackerman of Panacos Pharmaceuticals, Jerald Fishman of Analog Devices, and Carolyn Reidy of Simon & Schuster. They ranged in age from 58 to 71.

An article in The New York Times explored the following scenario. Perhaps this routine sounds familiar: You wake up, look in the mirror and scrutinize the dark, hollowed-out skin underneath your eyes. You look exhausted, despite having slept well. And maybe you look older than you are, too.

According to the article, “Dark circles are one of the most common skin complaints … Some skin care products can offer some benefits, but they may not live up to their brightening claims.” The article concluded that most solutions for dark circles under our eyes aren’t really solutions.

Eye creams and serums that claim to improve dark circles can be expensive. And most haven’t undergone any real intensive lab or clinical testing, so they’re often ineffective. Because dark circles can have various causes—there is not always a one-size-fits-all solution for getting rid of them.

But the best part of the article is tucked away in the reader comments section. Two women offered perhaps the best solution on the market—acceptance. Here’s what Clare from DC wrote: “I'm 92. Nobody looks at me anyway. Just be glad you can open those eyes every morning.” Then TheraP from the Midwest wrote: “Maybe we need to just accept the aging process with a certain humility and a bit of good humor.”

Sportswriter Jason Gay wrote an article about a rare baseball card of the famous Babe Ruth.

At first glance, it looked like an ordinary, unexceptional, very old baseball card. It was not. It was a missing link. This was him, alright. The Babe. The most famous player baseball has ever produced … Even I knew this Ruth card was valuable, extraordinary, worth a visit. If I wanted confirmation, I needed only to look at the armed guard sitting on a stool next to its display case. This card was precious cargo, protected like a Picasso, making a brief pit stop at its former home, the Babe Ruth Birthplace and Museum, before being auctioned off and sold to the highest bidder.

[Here’s why it] is such a big deal: One, it’s the first known card depicting the towering lefty slugger. The card … is extremely scarce: There are only 10 of them known, and one hasn’t hit the market in more than a decade. But also: It’s the Babe! This is a charismatic cultural figure with a reach far beyond sports; who once justified making a salary higher than President Hoover by saying, “Why not? I had a better year.”

The auction began November 16, 2023. Within hours, bidding had hit $5.25 million. It eventually sold for $7.2 million.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Jesus Christ - The card was so valuable because of the name on the card—Babe Ruth. The name means everything. But the name of Jesus is worth infinitely more than any name in heaven or on earth. 2) Christian - Christians are also valuable because we bear the name of Christ on us.

Author and researcher Bruce Feiler crisscrossed the country, trying to understand the roots of shifting attitudes towards work. He collected 400 extensive life stories of Americans in all 50 states, interviewing everyone from CEOs and mom-and-pop proprietors to schoolteachers and line workers. Feiler concluded that “unprecedented numbers of Americans are walking away from their jobs, rethinking their routines and breaking away from traditional expectations.”

Fifty million Americans quit a job in the last year, and another third of the workforce is renegotiating where, when, and how they work. Three-quarters of Americans in a recent survey said that they plan to look for new work this year.

Feiler discovered a shift: “Today’s workers are increasingly rejecting the script that has long defined the American Dream. They rebuff the notion that each of us must follow a linear career—lock into a dream early, always climb higher, never stop until you reach the top."

His data shows that the average worker goes through a moment of disruption or reinvention every two and a half years—what he calls a “workquake.”

In the end, fewer Americans are searching merely for work these days; more are searching for work with meaning. Some still emphasize wealth and status, but others stress service, self-expression, or personal fulfillment.

A new study found that hospitalizations for pediatric suicidal behavior increased by 163 percent over an 11-year period. According to an article in The New York Times, “The portion of American hospital beds occupied by children with suicidal or self-harming behavior has soared over the course of a decade … The study did not include psychiatric hospitals, or reflect the years of the coronavirus pandemic, suggesting that it is a considerable undercount.”

A doctor quoted in the article lamented, “The hospital ends up being the place you go when all else fails. Could you have nipped it in the bud earlier? That is a systems-of-care problem.” She added, “This is playing itself out in an attention-grabbing way.”

One the study’s co-authors, pointed to “a growing use of social media among children and adolescents and in particular, growing use among younger adolescents,” which she said had been shown to increase symptoms of depression.

Whatever the reason, she added, “we don’t have the magic formula to figure out how to dial this back and make things better.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Note the crying need for the gospel and for the church, especially considering the quote at the end—“we don’t have the magic formula to figure out how to dial this back and make things better.”

Nadia Bolz Weber, shared some thoughts on grace, failures, and the soul feeling its worth in her Christmas newsletter:

When Mary sings of God in the Magnificat, she didn’t say that God looked with favor on her virtue. She didn’t say that God looked with favor upon her activism. She didn’t say that God looked with favor on the fact that she had tried so hard that she finally had become the ideal version of herself.

No. God looked with favor on her lowliness.

And yet then what do I do but constantly curse my own lowliness. Obsess about my flaws and shortcomings. Berate myself for my failings and defects of character; for not trying hard enough to become my ideal self.

But our failings and weakness and mistakes are God’s perfect entry points. It is our lowliness and our humility, not our strength and our so-called virtues where God does God’s very best work. Which makes me wonder if perhaps our obsession with self-improvement is really just a form of atheism disguised as spirituality.

Editor’s Note: Warning: The original article by Nadia Bolz Weber contains some R-rated language.

Mike Huddleston was traveling for a training. He had flown from Maryland to San Francisco and needed to get to a rental car agency. But because of a degenerative neuromuscular condition that weakens his muscles, he wouldn't be able to climb the stairs of the shuttle bus. Instead, the car agency sent someone to pick him up.

But as he was walking outside to meet them, he fell. And due to his condition, he couldn't get up. "I remember sitting there in the middle of the sidewalk in front of San Francisco Airport, thinking, 'What in the world am I going to do?'"

"[Then] out of nowhere I heard, 'What can I do to help?'" Huddleston turned his head to see a man in his late thirties standing behind him. "I said, 'Are you kidding?' He said, 'No. What can I do to help you, man?'"

Huddleston described what the man could do to help him get off the ground. Once he got him up, the man fetched Huddleston's baggage, which had rolled a few feet away when he fell. "He asked me if I was good and I said, 'I am because of you. So, thank you very much.' He just said, 'No problem,' and turned and walked away."

This encounter struck Huddleston. Not just because of the man's kindness, but also because of the way he offered that kindness. His unsung hero didn't step in and start helping when he saw Huddleston on the ground. He took a moment to ask Huddleston how he could help.

Different people who need assistance may need it in different ways. So, asking them how you can help them is amazingly helpful. It allows the individual who's in need of assistance to maintain a sense of self, to maybe feel a little less helpless, and maybe even a little less vulnerable.

It's been more than 20 years since Huddleston was helped up, but he continues to think about it to this day. "His willingness to help me — and the compassion he showed in a very challenging situation — for me is something I will never forget."

Editor’s Note: This story is part of the “My Unsung Hero” series on NPR, from the Hidden Brain team, about people whose kindness left a lasting impression on someone else.

Possible Preaching Angle:

This story sheds new light on the question that Jesus often asked, “What do you want me to do for you?” (Matt. 20:32; Mark 10:51; Luke 18:41). On reading the accounts, it might seem obvious what the person needed, but now we have better insight into why Jesus would ask this question. It is not only to allow the person to express faith, but to give them a “sense of self.”

Two Christian university professors had an unusual assignment for students over a long break. Stanley Hauerwas and William H. Willimon told their students while they were on school break to take a long, good look at their belly button. Why? They explain:

Nothing is quite as revealing as our belly button ... by noting that we are creatures, creations of mothers and fathers, the Bible tells us that we have life as a gift. We are begotten, not manufactured. Someone even changed our diapers; our first hint of what grace must be like. No wonder some of us resent our parents, for they are a visible, ever-present reminder that we were created, that the significance of our lives is not exclusively self-derived.

In contrast, it is all too easy in today's Western culture for us to imagine that we are self-made people. But your belly button does not merely remind you of Mom and Dad, but of your Creator and Redeemer, from whom you have life, meaning, and purpose.

Work success isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. That’s the gist of an article in The Wall Street Journal titled, “Is This It?’ When Success Isn’t Satisfying.” The article states:

You got the job, won the award, launched the new project to accolades. So why don’t you feel better? “You get the title and it’s, like, ‘Ugh. Is this it?’” says Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who leads a study on how people thrive.

Sometimes, getting the thing is just as delicious as we imagine. Other times, we climb and climb, only to be underwhelmed by what we find at the top: more work, political wrangling, the feeling of being a fraud. Or the success high wears off fast, replaced by that old panic we hoped the accomplishment would finally cure. Then we wonder: Where’s the next win?

We’re all sprinting on what psychologists call a hedonic treadmill. That is, we might get a hit of joy when we achieve something, but we eventually return to our baseline level of happiness (or unhappiness). Whatever heights we reach, we’re still, well, us.

The article quotes a man named Andy Dunn who sold his clothing line to Walmart for $310 million. Mr. Dunn, now 44, spent years strategizing and fantasizing about such a sale but says it was a mirage. Building the company brought him more happiness, he says, than the eventual payout. Dunn said, “From the outside, people think, ‘Oh, my God, amazing, [but] I learned that those are just illusory things.”

We all have an ongoing fear of being ghosted. Ghosting is now so common that it was added in February of 2017 to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. It describes the phenomenon of leaving a relationship by abruptly ending all contact with the other person, and especially electronic contact, like texts, emails, and chats.

It is a biological fact that rejection or being ostracized can make us feel like we don’t belong and to have feelings of low self-worth. Todd Rose writes in his book: “An entire area of our brain (the anterior cingulate cortex) is constantly on the lookout for even the smallest hint of negative judgment.” Rose refers to studies which show, “A wounded heart, it would seem, can hurt just as much as a broken leg.”

What kinds of snubs can cause distress? The author lists hurtful things such as not being greeted on a bus by a stranger, not getting a quick response after sending an email to a friend, or getting the silent treatment from a partner.”

Rose further writes:

It doesn’t take much for us to experience this social pain. Indeed, psychological research suggests that even the mildest snub can cause distress. Our internal sensors are so attuned to rejection that we feel pain even when it is remote and clearly artificial. Cyberostracism, being ignored or excluded online, produces a similar physical and emotional response. Once it’s switched on, our ostracism alarm only appears to have one setting: full blast.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Jesus understands our feelings of rejection since he himself was despised and rejected (Isa. 53:3; John 1:10-11). Jesus has therefore promised that he will never leave us or forsake us (John 14:18, Heb. 13:5), he actively searches for the lost sheep (Matt. 18:22) and helps those who are downcast (Matt. 11:28-29).