Self-importance

In today's digital age, selfies have become a global phenomenon. Millions of people, especially young adults, spend countless hours capturing and sharing images of themselves. This trend reflects a growing desire for self-expression, social validation, and personal branding. Here are the most current stats as of the end of 2024:

• 92 million selfies are taken every day.
• Individuals spend 54 hours a year (or 7 minutes a day) taking selfies.
• The average “selfie-taker” is 24 years old.
• Women take 1.5 times more selfies than men.
• A full 95% of youth have taken selfies, compared to 63% of those aged 35–54 and only 44% of people over 55.
• Roughly 33% of pictures snapped by 18 to 24-year-olds are self-portraits.
• Millennials are forecast to capture around 25,700 selfies over their lifetime.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Kind of makes you think that the world was a little less narcissistic when we had to pay for film.

In an issue of CT magazine, author Jen Wilkin writes:

Individualism says that I should do what’s best for me regardless of what’s best for others. Instant gratification assures me that waiting is an enemy to eliminate. At every turn, I am told that I can and should have what I want when I want it.

Earlier this year, my husband and I spent two weeks with an apparent narcissist named Charlotte. From the moment we stepped into her space, it was all about her. She demanded our full attention day and night. Forget rational arguments or the needs of others; it was The Charlotte Show 24/7. She thought only of herself and demanded loudly and often that her needs be met. Our schedules bowed to her every whim. She uttered not a word of gratitude during the entire 14 days.

And we didn’t mind one bit. Because all 7 pounds and 15 ounces of her was doing exactly what she should. Our newest grandchild’s age-appropriate focus is to declare, Me, right now! Any time she is tired, hungry, or needs a clean diaper. Babies self-advocate as a survival instinct. They understand only the immediate need.

But what is appropriate in an infant is appalling in an adult. In its obsession with “me, right now,” our culture doesn’t just worship youthfulness; it worships childishness, legitimizing it into adulthood. An adult who demands what he wants when he wants it is a costly presence in any community, prioritizing his own needs above those of others and of the group. He has not learned to “put away childish things,” as the Bible says (1 Cor. 13:11, KJV); he has managed to grow physically from a baby to an adult without shedding the childish mantra of “me, right now.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

As parents, our first challenge is to meet the needs of babies crying out, “Me, right now.” But our greater task over the years is to train our children to mature and outgrow their entitlement, to resist the narcissistic norms of our age. It is our job as Christian parents to move our children from the immaturity of individualism and instant gratification to the maturity of sacrificial service and delayed gratification.

Bonnie Crawford was in danger of missing a connecting flight for a board meeting last week when a United Airlines customer-service rep saved the day. She got rebooked on a pricey nonstop flight in business class. For free.

You’re probably thinking, “No airline ever does that for me.” Crawford isn’t just any frequent flier. She has United’s invitation-only Global Services status.

It’s a semi-secret, status-on-steroids level that big spenders strive for every year. American and Delta have souped-up statuses, too, with similarly haughty names: ConciergeKey and Delta 360°. The airlines don’t like to talk about what it takes to snag an invite, how many people have such status, or even the perks. Even the high rollers themselves don’t know for sure.

Get into these exclusive clubs and you get customer service on speed dial, flight rebooking before you even know there’s trouble, lounge access, and priority for upgrades. Not to mention bragging rights and swag. People even post unboxing videos of their invites on YouTube.

Anyone with this super status needn’t fret about the value of airline loyalty or the devaluation of frequent-flier points.

Crawford was invited to Global Services for 2017 and was hooked. “It was the first taste of this magic, elusive, absolutely incredible status,’’ she says. She wasn’t invited again until this year and fears she won’t be invited back next year due to fewer costly international flights in her new job.

Possible Preaching Angles:

You can approach this illustration from two angles: 1) Boasting; Pride – This shows the negative side of human nature that loves to boast about their favored position and humble-brag about their status. This status is gained by merit. 2) Advocate; Grace; Invitation; Rights - The positive angle is that we have an Advocate who gifted us a special relationship with the Father (Eph. 3:12; Heb. 4:14-16). This status is all due to God’s grace.

Tom Brady has expressed frustration with the attitude of new athletes in professional sports. On the "DeepCut with VicBlends" podcast, he discussed the self-centered mindset of younger players.

Brady said, "I think the biggest problem with a lot of (expletive) kids these days, it’s all about them. Their brand, their social media. When it’s about ‘me’ and then not about ‘us,’ well, there’s no way to succeed as a team if all you’re doing is thinking how selfish it is for you to get the attention."

VicBlends agreed, emphasizing the value of elevating others. "It’s cool to show the world how great you are, but the most inspiring thing is how great you can make others."

Brady reflected on the broader implications. "That’s the point of life. Is what we could do – how do you help other people finish the race?"

Augustin Lignier, a photographer in Paris, created a photo booth for rats. He took inspiration from B.F. Skinner, the famous researcher who made The Skinner Box, designed to dispense food pellets when rats pushed a designated lever.

It became one of the most well-known experiments in psychology. Reward-seeking rats became lever-pressing pros, pushing the bar down over and over again in exchange for food, drugs, or even a gentle electric zap directly to the pleasure center of the brain.

Mr. Lignier built his own version of a Skinner Box—a tall, transparent tower with an attached camera—and released two pet-store rats inside. Whenever the rats pressed the button inside the box, they got a small dose of sugar and the camera snapped their photo. The resulting images were immediately displayed on a screen, where the rats could see them. (“But honestly I don’t think they understood it,” Mr. Lignier said.)

The rodents quickly became enthusiastic button pushers. But then the rewards became more unpredictable. Although the rats were still photographed every time they hit the button, the sweet treats came only once in a while, by design. These kinds of intermittent rewards can be very powerful, keeping animals glued to their slot machines as they await their next jackpot.

In the face of these unpredictable rewards, the rats ignored the sugar even when it did arrive, and just kept pressing the button anyway. To Mr. Lignier, the parallel is obvious. “Digital and social media companies use the same concept to keep the attention of the viewer as long as possible,” he said.

Indeed, social media has been described as “a Skinner Box for the modern human,” doling out periodic, unpredictable rewards—a like, a follow, a promising romantic match—that keep us glued to our phones.

Singer-songwriter and author Sandra McCracken writes in an issue of CT magazine:

Greek mythology may not be a guide to the Christian life, but I appreciate the clever commentary the ancient stories offer. I was recently reminded of Narcissus, the young man who neglected all other loves and physical needs so he could stare endlessly at his own reflection. Narcissus eventually dies while sitting by the reflection pool—the tragic and ironic conclusion to his selfish love.

The old, dark comedy still applies—maybe especially applies—to our modern ego and pride. We have more than just pools and mirrors to contend with. ... Aided by our phones and social media, many of us spend more time with our reflections than even Narcissus did. The overwhelming majority of Americans now own smartphones. And with billions of mobile devices in circulation around the world, the situation is the same in many other countries. We are a selfie society, encouraged to view and post about ourselves often, in hopes of attracting more likes and boosting our “brand.”

To see only ourselves and to spend life captivated by our own dim radiance is, in effect, to die. And death is always a tragedy. To see God, however, is to see resurrection and new life. When we look to Jesus to remember more fully our true worth, we gain freedom from vain self-reflection, knowing instead that we belong to the one Source of true delight.

Garret Keizer was asked by his minister to visit an elderly parishioner, Pete, in a nursing home. Garret finds out that Pete loves bananas, so he starts bringing some on each week’s visit. Garrett said:

I was standing with my Chiquitas in line at the supermarket behind one of those people who seem to think they're at a bank instead of a store. She must have had three checkbooks. I shifted from one foot to the other, sighing, glancing at the clock. I wanted to catch Pete before supper. No doubt I was feeling the tiniest bit righteous because I was about the Lord's business on behalf of my old man, who needed his bananas and was looking forward to my company. And here was this loser buying an armful of trivial odds and ends and taking my precious time to screw around with her appallingly disorganized finances.

When I finally got through the line, I watched her walk to her vehicle feeling that same uncharitable impulse that makes us glance at the driver of a car we're passing just to “get a look at the jerk.” She got into the driver's seat of a van marked with the name of a local nursing home and filled to capacity with elderly men and women who had no doubt handed her their wish lists and checkbooks as soon as she'd cut the ignition.

Author and pastor Mark Sayers says there are two stories competing for our minds and hearts. The first story is broadcast loudly across pop culture, social media, and all media. It claims that you and I are the center of the universe. We are unique individuals, and we can be awesome. We just need to create our identities. By making the right choices with our wardrobe and weekends, and by hanging out with the right people and doing the right things, we can be limitlessly happy. The world offers you and me an amazing life; we just have to go out and make it happen.

The second story is quiet. It’s more of a whisper from the back burner in our brains, but it will not go away. It’s there in the quiet, in the middle of the night. It’s the longing when the promises of the first story under-deliver. The whisper tells us we were made for more. In hushed voices, it insists that we have an immovable and important identity, a sort of real home somewhere out there. We’re longing for it, and we know it’s not just in our imaginations. There’s got to be more to this life, it nags.

We continuously suppress that second story, though, largely because the first story is so loud. Everything from Instagram to movies to clothing ads to political campaigns declares that we can be whoever we want to be. Pursuing the second story takes time and intentionality and going against every cultural grain.

Tim Keller used this story to illustrate the “conversion of the heart.”

Many years ago, when I was in college, I was part of a Christian fellowship, and there was a young man who joined up. And it shocked us all. This young man was famous on the campus for being incredibly sexually active, and he had the looks to go with it. He was handsome and charismatic. And then, to our surprise he came into the fellowship where he declared that “He’s a Christian now … and he foreswears his sexual past … and he going to live a chaste, pure life.”

He threw himself into the Christian activities. Everyone said, “Wow! This is a real change.” However, it wasn’t long before we came to realize that this young man, in every group, any committee, any Bible study, whether he was the leader or not, he had to be the leader. He always sought control. There was power struggle after power struggle, and after a while it became clear that when he was sexually active it really wasn’t about sex; it was about power. He would go after some girl until she fell for him, and then he lost all interest. It wasn’t about sex. It was about power.

When he came into the church, he suddenly adopted all the Christian beliefs, the Statements of Faith, and Christian practices. He stopped living in sexual promiscuity. But deep down inside, he still wanted power. Power in relationships.

Keller points out that we all have the need for deeper conversion in our heart. He says, “Deep down inside, every one of our hearts is saying, ‘If I have money, if I have approval, if I have power, if I have comfort, if I have control, if I have romance ….’ Every one of our hearts needs that deeper conversion from our idols to the Living God.”

You can read a free PDF copy of the book here.

Kelly Kay Green wanted to be someone. So, she donned a specially made dress, chugged a Coors Light for courage, and ran onto the field at the Super Bowl in February 2020. In her pursuit of fame, Green thought of everything: She selected a seat close to the field, trained with a physical therapist to stick the landing, engaged a lawyer, and bought a Velcro-equipped dress she could strip away.

Green wanted to make it to the 50-yard line from her end zone seat. She did not even make it to the one-yard line. Arrested almost instantly, she feared that her ambitions of internet celebrity would lead only to a long, cold night in lockup.

After her release, though, a photographer was waiting. Reunited with her phone, Green saw her Instagram statistics soaring. Her mug shot rocketed around the internet. Followers multiplied, ultimately hundreds of thousands of them, with many eager to pay for videos and pictures that were often at the very least suggestive. Invitations to high-profile parties arrived, too.

“All of a sudden, I wasn’t just the hot girl or the girl that ran on the field,” she said. “I was a hot Instagram influencer that ran on the field and had worldwide attention.” But she also found that fame has a downside. Green said, “[Fame] looks so inviting and so glamorous, but I learned quickly that [celebrity] events give me anxiety, being around people who are just asking me what I can do and how can I help them,” she said. “All of these things that Hollywood is, and will always be, that looked so appealing to me just turned me completely off from it.”

Green moved back to Tennessee. She still has a copy of her mugshot.

Christian Coleman is the reigning world champion in the men’s 100 meters. From time to time, strangers approach the 26-year-old Atlanta native with a proposition. He said, “People will look at me, like, ‘You’re Christian Coleman. Hey, you want to race?’ And I mean, like, we’re in the middle of the mall. It’s like, obviously not.”

It’s a remarkably common occurrence, top sprinters say. Against all odds, overconfident average citizens size up these singularly skilled and sculpted specimens and think they have a chance to win. The urge appears to be universal, spanning national boundaries and identities.

Karsten Warholm, the 26-year-old world record holder in the 400-meter hurdles, works out at an indoor public facility in Oslo, in his native Norway. Mr. Warholm recalled a training session when a man, not dressed in running clothes, asked him to race.

Mr. Warholm said, “I was like, ‘Sure,’ because I was going to do another run either way. Of course, I smoked him, obviously.” At the finish line, the man insisted he had a bad start. He wanted to race again, Mr. Warholm recalled, chuckling.

Columnist David Brooks mocks what passes for humility these days. He points to a tweet from the president of the European Central Bank: “I was humbled to be awarded an honorary degree by the London School of Economics earlier this week. Thank you so much for this prestigious honor!” Brooks notes the three rules of this fake humility.

#1) Never tweet about any event that could actually lead to humility. Never tweet: “I’m humbled that I went to a party, and nobody noticed me.” Never tweet: “I’m humbled that I got fired for incompetence.”

#2) Use the word humbled when the word proud would be more accurate. For example: “Truly humbled to be keynote speaker at TedX East Hampton.” The key to humility display is to use self-effacement as a tool to maximize your self-promotion.

#3) Never use a pronoun. Start your tweets with “Humbled to be …” or “Honored to be …” This sends the message that you have only a few seconds to dash off this tweet, because you’re so busy and important.

We used to dance around our humblebragging, but now Brooks says “our [so-called] humility is explicit, assertive, direct, and unafraid. We blaze forth so much humility that it’s practically blinding. Humility is the new pride.”

Robert Samuel is a 46-year-old former mobile phone salesman who now gets paid to sit in line for others. If a client wants something but can’t stomach a long queue, they pay him thousands of dollars to do it for them. Samuel sits, standing, or sometimes sleeps, in lines: waiting for theater tickets, iPhone releases, limited edition hoodies, and more before either relinquishing his place to his customer or buying them tickets. This has been his work for nine years and before the pandemic, he was earning over $86,000 a year. The toughest gig was Hamilton where the inside of his tent frosted over.

He said, “You can get people to literally do everything for you. They can watch your kids, they can watch your pets. They can clean your home. They can pick you up from A to B, or bring you your food. So, this is just an extension of that. You can get people to do just about anything, within reason, as long as it’s legal and you want to pay.”

A recent interview with actress Maria Fabriela de Faria, in Global Heroes from The Wall Street Journal, perfectly reveals our culture of self-centered individualism.

When asked, “What is one good choice that everyone can make to improve the world around them?” She answered, “Look for your own truth, LIVE your own truth instead of repeating anyone else’s.” She explained: “What’s crucial to me is to make my audience . . . [question] old beliefs.” She counsels her fans to engage in a daily practice of asking, “What do I need today?” because “the only person who will know what works for you, is you.”

For decades the media in all its forms have created celebrities that are framed, groomed, and packaged solely for the purpose of dissemination through mass media. Many people, some living frustrated lives, live vicariously through the allegedly exciting lives of these glamorous personalities, representing hopes and dreams personally unfulfilled.

The result is that we have created synthetic celebrities whom we worship, however briefly, because they vicariously act out our noblest or basest desires. For impressionable young people, “celebrity worship syndrome” has resulted in:

Symptoms of depression and anxiety. Lower levels of critical thinking and cognitive abilities Impaired social skills. Maladaptive daydreaming that interferes with work, school, or relationships. Desire for fame, which is often linked with a lack of self-acceptance. Compulsive buying and materialism. Difficulties with romantic relationships.

Robert X Cringely, in his book Accidental Empires, tells about the early days of Apple. In the late 1970’s, Apple had grown beyond the point that all the employees knew each other on sight. So, it was decided that, like grown-up companies, they should all have name badges.

As is the corporate way, it was deemed that these badges should be numbered and, as corporate lore decrees, the number assigned would be based on the order in which employees had joined the company.

Cringely writes:

Steve Wozniak was declared employee number 1. Steve Jobs was number 2, and so on. Jobs didn’t want to be number 2. He didn’t want to be second in anything. Jobs argued that he, rather than Woz, should have the sacred number one since they were co-founders of the company and J came before W in the alphabet. When that plan was rejected. he argued that the number 0 was still unassigned, and since 0 came before 1, Jobs would be happy to take that number. He got it.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Jesus watched as guests took chairs around a dinner table. Each had tried to elbow into the place of honor, and so he said, “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him” (Luke 14:7-8).

Do some Christians harm their witness by falling into the trap of “moral grandstanding” or “virtue signaling”? Or do we convey the message that we are just as depraved as others? Clinical psychologist Joshua B. Grubbs writes about a study which asked 6,000 Americans questions about their most important moral and political beliefs and how they communicate them to others.

Almost everyone admitted they were occasionally guilty of grandstanding--sharing their beliefs selfishly for respect or status. However, habitual grandstanders experienced conflicts in their personal relationships:

People who reported grandstanding more often also reported more experiences arguing with loved ones and severing ties with friends or family members over political or moral disagreements. People who indicated using their deepest held beliefs to boost their own status in real life also reported more toxic social media behaviors. (These include) picking fights over politics on Facebook and berating strangers on Twitter for having the “wrong” opinions.

Grubbs advises all grandstanders to check their motivations: “When you enter into contentious territory with someone who differs in opinion, ask whether you’re doing so because you’re genuinely interested in communicating and connecting with your fellow human. Or are you just trying to score points? ... Do you find yourself trying to one-up the good deeds of someone else to make yourself look good to people whose respect you crave?”

Paul Piff, a professor at University of California, Irvine, studies how money influences humans' relationships with one another. His striking conclusion is that money makes us mean. Piff describes one of his experiments involving two individuals playing a rigged game of Monopoly.

We randomly assigned one of the [players] to be a rich player in a rigged game [of Monopoly]. They got two times as much money. For example, when they passed "GO," they collected twice the salary. As the game unfolded, we saw very dramatic differences emerge … The rich player started to move around the board louder, literally smacking the board with their piece … we were more likely to see signs of dominance and displays of power among the rich players. The rich players actually started to become ruder toward the other person, less and less sensitive, and more and more demonstrative of their materials success.

Quotes from rich players included: "I have money for everything ... you're going to lose all your money soon ... I have so much money, I'm going to buy out this whole board ... I'm pretty much untouchable at this point ... "

Piff has conducted similar experiments with real-life wealthy individuals and discovered identical results. His experiments have tested individuals' willingness to stop for pedestrians at crosswalks, cheat in a game, share a monetary gift with strangers, and even take candy from a jar clearly labeled as being for children. In every experiment, higher incomes were correlated with "mean” behavior!

"What we've been finding ... is that as a person's level of wealth increases, their feelings of compassion and empathy go down, and their feelings of entitlement and self-interest increase."

Possible Preaching Angles: Of course it doesn’t have to be this way. In and through Christ, the rich can grow in gentleness and kindness, but it will take the power of the Holy Spirit.

It's a sign of the times--and maybe a sign of our culture. People are taking so many selfies, they're getting "Selfie Wrist." Tina Choi, 29, works in digital media promotion. She says a successful selfie can raise the profile and income of her clients. Choi believes selfies are an effective way of sharing a sense of yourself. "It’s really about telling a story. Where you're at. What you're doing. How active you are," Choi said.

But all that selfie taking started causing tingling in her fingers and wrist and later discomfort. After a few months she said it felt like a sharp pain in the corner of her wrist and it actually would prevent her from working. "It's a form of carpal tunnel because this hyperflexion of the wrist appears to cause … the nerve to become inflamed and angry," said Dr. Levi Harrison, an orthopedic surgeon. He said the problem begins when patients constantly hyper-flex their wrist inwards in a rush to capture that perfect angle.

Harrison showed her exercises to do for just minutes a day. After a few weeks, Tina's pain improved. Now she takes much safer selfies. "That is the nature of our generation right now," she said, "We're taking so many selfies these days."

As the maxim goes, it’s better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt. There’s at least one hipster-looking guy who will probably, in the future, take that to heart.

The MIT Technology Review recently published an article about a study out of Brandeis University on something called “the hipster effect,” the idea that a group of self-proclaimed nonconformists will eventually coalesce around similar behaviors and styles. It’s a partial explanation for the common idea that many hipster men tend to look alike--often bearded with flannel shirts and knit beanie caps.

After the story ran, editors received an email from an angry reader. He was upset about what he perceived to be unfair generalizations about people in his demographic, but also because he claimed to be the man in the cover photo and said the Review never obtained his permission to use his likeness.

Editor-in-chief Gideon Lichfield and his team quickly contacted Getty Images, the stock photo provider, to ascertain whether the model in the photo had signed a release form authorizing its use. Getty Images confirmed that the model in the photo was a different person than the email complainant. The man responded "Wow, I stand corrected, I guess. I and multiple family members, and a childhood friend pointed it out to me, thought it was a mildly photo-shopped picture of me … Thank you for getting back to me and resolving the issue."

In a tweet, Lichfield summed up the situation: “The guy who'd threatened to sue us for misusing his image wasn't the one in the photo. He'd misidentified himself. All of which just proves the story we ran: Hipsters look so much alike that they can’t even tell themselves apart from each other.”

Potential Preaching Angles: First impressions matter less to God than a thorough examination of the truth. Fools who insist on speaking up often end up proving their critics correct.