Self-will

She is the most famous celebrity whose name you don’t know: the actress who plays Flo in all those Progressive commercials. Yes, she is a real person.

As told in the New York Times, Flo (aka Stephanie Courtney) was once a struggling comedian trying to make it big, sending in tapes of her performances to Saturday Night Live. Driving to failed auditions in a car that didn’t go in reverse—and unable to pay to get it fixed. Courtney eventually landed a small role for an insurance ad spot as a cashier.

Fast forward to today and her comedy career is still non-existent, but she makes millions of dollars a year doing what she never wanted to do for a living. Courtney may have more zeros at the end of her pay check, but her story is far from unique. Youthful aspirations so often erode into some version of settling with the hand life (and God?) has dealt you.

NYT reporter Caity Weaver asked, “Who has a better job than you?” Courtney said, “There are times when I ask myself that. The miserable me who didn’t get to audition for ‘S.N.L.’ never would have known, how good life could be when she was denied what she wanted. I hope that’s coming through. I’m screaming it in your face.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Courtney’s story suggests something profound: it is a difficult wisdom to learn, as the Prodigal Son did, that there is something far more meaningful than the glory of what we might want for our lives. The faith that holds on to Christ simultaneously lets go of everything else.

Paul Ford writes in an article on Wired, what happened when he switched his weight loss meds and found a miracle cure. Decades of struggle with an insatiable desire for food, gone in an instant. But his reflection on the experience is less of an advertisement as it is a probing of human nature amid advances in pharmacology. He writes:

This is a technology that will reorder society. I have been the living embodiment of the deadly sin of gluttony, judged as greedy and weak since I was 10 years old — and now the sin is washed away. Baptism by injection. But I have no more virtue than I did a few months ago. I just prefer broccoli to gloopy chicken. Is this who I am?

How long is it before there’s an injection for your appetites, your vices? Maybe they’re not as visible as mine. Would you self-administer a weekly anti-avarice shot? Can Big Pharma cure your sloth, lust, wrath, envy, pride?

On this front, the parallels between Ford’s weight loss drug and every other drug are almost obvious (whether they be coffee, THC, or any fill-in-the-blank name brand). The alluring promise that frailty is simply a matter of chemistry. More interesting is what happens to Ford himself after the one signal pathway is silenced — his brain averts its gaze elsewhere:

Where before my brain had been screaming, screaming, at air-raid volume — there was sudden silence. It was confusing. […] “I urgently need, I thought … Something to fill the silence where food used to be. Every night for weeks I spent four, five hours twisting Moog knobs. Not making music. Just droning, looping, and beep-booping. I needed something to obsess over, to watch YouTube videos about. I needed something to fail at every night to feel normal.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The flesh is never satisfied and cannot be conquered by human will or science. Impeding one of the desires of the flesh simply ignites another. The church of big pharma might provide a kind of cure, but there is no panacea for human nature, except “the washing of new birth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:5).

The CDC’s yearly youth report found that around a quarter of high school students identify as gay, bisexual, or have a more fluid sexuality. This compares to just 75.5 percent of 14 to 18-year-olds said they were heterosexual in 2021—a new low.

The remainder said they were either bisexual (12.1 percent), gay or lesbian (3.2 percent), “other” (3.9 percent) or said they “questioned” their sexuality (5.2 percent). The percentage of students who do not view themselves as straight has more than doubled in recent years—from 11 percent in 2015 to 24.5 percent in 2021.

Rates of alternate sexualities in school-aged children are much higher than the adult population—where about seven percent are gay, bisexual, or other. Experts say the explosion in alternative sexualities among children can be partly attributed to increased acceptance. Dr. Mollie Blackburn, who teaches sexuality studies at Ohio State University, said: “It's an increase in acceptance from both parents and society. [Accepting people] creates a context where a child will be more willing to say that they are gay.”

But Jay Richard, a senior research fellow at the Heritage Foundation, said the rise of gender studies in American schools in recent years was partly behind the rise. “There is no doubt in my mind that schools are absolutely playing a role in this growth.” In recent years, some schools have begun teaching sex education as young as second grade.

Richard also claimed the increased political focus on social justice was incentivizing children to say they were not heterosexual, to seem “less plain. ... There are social incentives to declaring yourself a sexual minority. There is nothing you have to do to be bisexual. You just wanna make yourself cooler.”

When Shafiqullah walked into his wedding celebration in Kabul, Afghanistan, he was surprised to find 600 extra people in the room, none of whom he recognized. His original guest list had numbered about 700 people. Besides the guests on his bride’s side, he invited “my cousins; my neighbors, people from my village, and 100 to 150 colleagues.”

But among the 1,300 gathered, he strained to pick them out from the strangers. He said, “It was amazing, but also disturbing as these were people I had never seen before in my entire life.” Still, he knew his obligations. He said, “If I didn’t serve them, it would have caused me dishonor and taken away all happiness from my wedding day.”

So, he told the caterers at the wedding hall to double the food order, bringing the cost of his wedding to nearly $30,000—a small fortune in this impoverished country. It is a familiar tale in Afghanistan, where weddings are vital demonstrations of two tightly held values: commitment to hospitality and devotion to family and community.

But the strain of having to host a party the size of a small village is proving ruinous for many young Afghan men, who find themselves taking out loans to get married that will take years to pay back.

The crowds that stream into Kabul’s wedding halls each night have given rise to a subculture of “toi paal”—wedding crashers who show up in droves. They are uninvited men who hang around the stretch of the airport road that has been nicknamed “Las Vegas,” for the bright neon lights and mirrored glass of the wedding halls.

Because weddings are generally segregated by gender, usually by huge partitions, the draw is not the opportunity to meet women so much as it is the banquet fare of lamb, chicken, lamb pilaf, yogurt, fruit, and pudding. Most young men in Kabul seem to know the expression, “With a wedding every night, there is no need to go hungry.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Uninvited wedding guests were also mentioned in a parable of Jesus. Only invited guests are welcome at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb. All who come into the wedding banquet must come according to God’s rules. No “wedding-crashers” are allowed.

In an interview with Terri Gross, Grammy Award winning songwriter/singer Brandi Carlile was asked about her church’s refusal to baptize her when she was a teenager. The host, Terry Gross asked, “How were you told that you weren't going to be baptized?” Carlile responded,

I was doing the things I thought I was supposed to do. But on the day of my baptism my friends and family had all been invited to the church to see this go down. I got there and was taken aside and told that unless I declared that I intended to no longer be gay, that I couldn't be baptized that day. And it just came as such a shock … it was a big shift in my life spiritually and musically and emotionally.

Gross then asked, “What was the shift spiritually?” Carlile replied,

Well, it made me rethink, where God was in this church? Was God in these people? Was God in these displays of piety, like this grandstanding of baptism, and these testimonials? Or was God maybe in places I'd yet to go, like in music or outside of my town on out on the road out of my house?

At that point I had never even been on an airplane before. So, it's when I knew that it was time for me to seek beyond my station. ... It gave me a sense of a faith in God that's an unshakable by the whims of culture, by politics, by people or by organized religion, and by (the) church specifically.

Currently, Carlile and her wife have two children and they live on a compound in the state of Washington with their extended family. The singer/songwriter she idolized, Elton John, has become a friend.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Carlile turned away from her church and her evangelical faith because she would not give up her homosexual identity. Redefining church, the Bible, and God to fit one’s choice of lifestyle is extremely dangerous and an example of false postmodern religion.

Courtney Wilson and Shenita Jones had lavish plans for their pending nuptials. The venue they selected had it all: a swimming pool with a waterfall, a hot tub, sauna, tennis courts, gazebos, even a bowling alley. They were scheduled to have the ceremony on Saturday, and a catered brunch on Sunday. The one thing they didn’t have? Permission.

Property owner Nathan Finkel had met with the couple months prior when they posed as potential buyers of the property, which was listed for sale with a $5 million price tag. When they later asked Finkel if they could stage their wedding there, he declined.

But that didn’t stop Wilson and Jones from sending out invitations to guests to gather at the property. According to attorney Keith Poliakoff, who represented the upscale suburban locale, the couple made a critical miscalculation.

“The guy figured it was a vacant house and didn’t realize Nathan lived on the property in a different home. This guy had no idea he lived there. You know the shock that must have been on his face when he showed up at the gate and the owner was home?”

Indeed, once Nathan saw that Wilson had arrived to begin setting up for the wedding, he called police to compel them to vacate the property. Nathan told the 911 dispatcher, “I have people trespassing on my property. And they keep harassing me, calling me. They say they’re having a wedding here. I don’t know what’s going on. All I want is it to stop.” When police arrived, Wilson left without incident. No charges were filed.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Law; Rules; Obedience – We can’t ignore laws just because they are inconvenient to our plans. If we attempt to ignore them, God will use the consequences of our actions to inform our behavior. 2) Kingdom of God; Parable; Salvation – This reminds us of the uninvited wedding guest in Jesus’ parable. All who come into the wedding banquet of the kingdom must come according to God’s rules. No “party-crashers” are allowed.

Commenting on his performance in the gangster drama Black Mass, actor Johnny Deep said, "I found the evil in myself a long time ago, and I've accepted it. We're old friends."

A dog named Wilson was left feeling under par, after gobbling up a staggering seven golf balls. Owner Tim Norris rushed Wilson to the vet thinking his pet had swallowed a single ball at Royal Ashdown Forest Golf Club. But an X-ray revealed that Wilson, a chocolate Labrador, had actually swallowed seven balls.

"Our dog walker let Wilson off the lead," Norris said, "and we think he must have found a basket full of practice balls somewhere near the golf club. He probably thought they were dog biscuits." But when they rushed Wilson to the vet they were shocked to discover that he'd eaten seven golf balls. Norris added, "Chocolate Labradors are incredibly greedy dogs and Wilson is no different. They will eat anything they think is food. I have since bought a muzzle for him, because at 18 months he still has a lot to learn." Wilson underwent an exploratory operation at Forest Lodge to remove the golf balls (a golfballectomy?).

According to Karen Belcher, the head veterinary nurse, said, "I don't know whether the golf balls were covered in something that seemed tasty, but to eat seven he must have liked them." Belcher explained that one more ball could have ruptured Wilson's stomach and killed the dog. "Seven balls was probably the limit for him," she said.

Wilson was released from the vets' office the day after surgery and has since made a speedy recovery—though he's still in the doghouse.

Do you think you can handle temptation on just the strength of your own will-power? If so, you're probably setting yourself up for a crash. That's not just advice from the Bible. It also comes from current scientific research.

Dr. Loran Nordgren, a senior lecturer at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management in Chicago, ran a series of experiments that placed college students in "tempting situations" to smoke, eat junk food, or forgo studying. The research found that we often display what's called a "restraint bias." In other words, we tend to overestimate how much self-control we will have against temptation when we're not in the "heat of the moment." Our "restraint bias" causes us to think that we can handle more temptation than we actually can. Dr. Nordgren warned that "Those who are most confident about their self-control are the most likely to give in to temptation."

How do we deal with out deluded sense of self-control? Dr. Nordgren, who works for a secular university, offered some biblically sound advice: "The key is simply to avoid any situations where vices and other weaknesses thrive and, most importantly, for individuals to keep a humble view of their willpower."

The World Puzzle Championship takes place every year at locations around the globe. In 2023 the event was held in Valladolid, Spain and drew contestants from 54 countries. According to an article, these connoisseurs of puzzles "eat, dream, and on rare occasions when they sleep, dream about puzzles full time." They're the true fanatics and geniuses of the puzzle world. But the article also noted that hundreds of millions of people around the world do crossword puzzles, play Sudoku, or participate in puzzles on their computers, phones, or tablets.

Why are puzzles so wildly popular all around the globe? Will Shortz, the crossword editor of The New York Times and NPR, has this to say:

We're faced with problems every day in life, and we almost never get clarity. We jump into the middle of a problem, we carry it through to whatever extent we can to find an answer, and then … we just find the next thing. [But] with a human made puzzle you have the satisfaction of being completely in control: you start the challenge from the beginning, and you move all the way to the end. That's a satisfaction you don't get much in real life. You feel in control, and that's a great feeling.

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Control; Self-reliance; Self-sufficiency; Pride—This story illustrates our human but prideful tendency to control our own lives rather than surrender to the Lord, asking for his help in the challenges of life. (2) Mystery—God is not a puzzle that we can figure out and control. God will always remain beyond our grasp.

In the spring of 1867, George Custer and his regiment were on a scouting expedition on the plains of Kansas. Suddenly Custer's English greyhounds, his constant companions, began to chase some antelope over a distant hill. In spite of himself, Custer could not resist joining the chase. It was not long before the general, his horse, and his pack of dogs had left his regiment far behind.

He quickly forgot his men and his mission when he crested the first hill and saw his first buffalo: an enormous, shaggy bull. He put the spurs to his horse's sides and began the chase. As the horse gained on the massive buffalo, Custer yelled with excitement. An avid hunter, he had to bring this trophy home. He drew his pearl-handled pistol. But as he came alongside the thundering beast and shoved the barrel into its thick shaggy side, Custer paused. Feeling the ground shake, hearing the ragged breathing of both animals side by side, he pulled the pistol back, to "prolong the enjoyment of the chase."

After several minutes, Custer decided it was time for the kill. Again, He shoved the pistol into the side of the buffalo. But, as if sensing Custer's intentions, the buffalo abruptly turned toward the horse. The horse veered away from the buffalo's horns, and when Custer tried to grab the reins with both hands, his finger accidentally fired a bullet into his own horse's head, killing it instantly. Custer was thrown to the ground and then struggled quickly to his feet to face the animal that had been his prey only seconds before. Instead of charging, the buffalo stared at the strange, foolish man and walked off.

Horseless and alone, Custer began the long, dangerous walk back to his regiment. In less than a decade, this same recklessness and arrogance would lead the General and his men to their death on a flat-topped hill next to a river called the Little Bighorn.

In 1875 a British poet named William Ernest Henley published a short poem that expressed one way to cope with life's circumstances. The poem, called "Invictus," ended with these famous lines: "I am the master of my fate / I am the captain of my soul."

In popular culture, those last two lines usually represent some kind of heroic and self-sufficient stand against evil and injustice without submitting to God. The journalist Danniel Hannan called the poem "a final and terrible act of defiance. The Horror might indeed have awaited [Henley], but he would go there on his own terms, leaving the spittle sliding down his Maker's face."

For over a hundred years, Henley's poem has inspired many people. In the 1980s, the poem encouraged former South African president Nelson Mandala throughout the dark days of his imprisonment. Years later, Clint Eastwood used it as the title for his popular film about the South African rugby team.

Sadly, it was also a great influence on Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh, who was responsible for the deaths of 168 men, women, and children, and the injuries of 800 more. He scribbled out the words of "Invictus" and handed it to authorities as his last words before his execution.

Sixteen years after Henley first published "Invictus," the British preacher Charles Spurgeon offered another philosophy of life. On June 7, 1891, in the closing words of his final sermon, Spurgeon urged people to submit to a better "Captain" for our soul. Spurgeon said:

Every [person] must serve somebody: we have no choice as to that fact. Those who have no master are slaves to themselves. Depend upon it, you will either serve Satan or Christ. Either self or the Savior. You will find sin, self, Satan, and the world to be hard masters; but if you wear the uniform of Christ, you will find him so meek and lowly of heart that you will find rest unto your souls …. If you could see our Captain, you would go down on your knees and beg him to let you enter the ranks of those who follow him. It is heaven to serve Jesus.

In his book Over the Edge: Death in the Grand Canyon, Michael P. Ghiglieri chronicles the nearly 700 deaths that have occurred in the Grand Canyon since the 1870s. Of course most people aren't shocked that fatal mishaps occur there. After all, the Grand Canyon is 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide, and attains a depth of over a mile (6,000 feet). The extreme temperatures (which often exceed 100 degrees) can quickly lead to heatstroke and dehydration.

So how did most of the deaths occur? Air crashes account for the largest number of deaths at the Grand Canyon. Floods have claimed the lives of some of the river rafters. Other despondent souls have taken their own lives. But according to Ghiglieri, a number of people have gone "over the edge" and fallen to their death through their own carelessness. Specifically, they ignored posted warnings and confidently walked out on to dangerous precipices.

For example, in 1992, a 38-year-old father jokingly tried to frighten his teenage daughter by leaping on to a guard wall. He flailed his arms as he pretended to lose his balance. Then he comically "fell" on the canyon side onto a ledge he assumed was safe. But sadly, after ignoring numerous warning signs, he lost his footing and fell 400 feet into the void below.

Then in 2012, an 18-year-old woman who was hiking on the North Rim Trail decided to venture off the beaten path to have her picture taken at a spot known as Inspiration Point. As she sat down on the ledge of the 1,500-foot deep canyon, the rocks gave way, and she plummeted to her death.

These deaths were not just tragic; they were also completely avoidable. Does anyone truly want his or her last words before "AAAAHHHHHH" to be, "Look at how close I can get to the rim without fall …. ?" Call me overly cautious, but without a hang-glider or parachute attached to my body, I can see the Canyon just fine 10 yards back from the precipice.

And yet many of us approach sin by asking the question, "How close can I get without crossing the line?" We avoid God's warning signs and then edge right up to disaster, confident that we—unlike other people—can avoid the crash. Like the child who listens to a parent's warning and then does everything to push the boundaries, we rush to the edge of sin with a false sense of security.

Rebecca Pippert relates a story about a famous physicist who confided in her and said:

I'm a scientist, you know, a rational person. I've never seen much need for God. All my life I've felt in charge and in control. I've been extremely successful and made it to the top. If there's a problem at work, I call a meeting or write a note to my secretary, and it is quickly resolved.

Yet nothing is simple or easily resolved at home. My children don't relate to me easily …. They accuse me of trying to control their lives. When I walk into the same room as my son, he starts to stammer. What hurts is that they can't seem to appreciate how much I care and that I'm doing all of this for them.

But I'll tell you one lesson I've learned. I always said that since I had my children's best interests at heart, they'd be glad for my direction …. My children have taught me the hardest lesson of my life—that I'm not in control over what matters to me most. It's funny, but it's now when I see I'm not God that I see I need some help. The question of whether there is a God has finally started to matter.

In a sermon, John Ortberg said:

My friend, Jimmy, and his son, Davey, were playing in the ocean down in Mexico, while his family—his wife, daughters, parents, and a cousin—were on the beach. Suddenly, a rogue riptide swept Davey out to the sea. Immediately Jimmy started to do whatever he could to help Davey get back to the shore, but he, too, was soon swept away in the tide. He knew that in a few minutes, both he and Davey would drown. He tried to scream, but his family couldn't hear him.

Jimmy's a strong guy—an Olympic Decathlete—but he was powerless in this situation. As he was carried along by the water, he had a single, chilling thought: My wife and my daughters are going to have to have a double funeral.

Meanwhile, his cousin, who understood something about the ocean, saw what was happening. He walked out into the water where he knew there was a sandbar. He had learned that if you try to fight a riptide, you will die. So, he walked to the sandbar, stood as close as he could get to Jimmy and Davey, and then he just lifted his hand up and said, "You come to me. You come to me."

If you try to go the way your gut tells you to go—the shortest distance into shore—you will die. If you think for yourself, you will die. God says, "If you come to me, you will live." That's it—death or life.

We want to be a saint, but we also want to feel every sensation experienced by sinners; we want to be innocent and pure, but we also want to be experienced and taste all of life; we want to serve the poor and have a simple lifestyle, but we also want all the comforts of the rich; we want to have the depth afforded by solitude, but we also do not want to miss anything; we want to pray, but we also want to watch television, read, talk to friends, and go out.

It's a small wonder that life is often a trying enterprise, and that we are often tired and pathologically overextended.

—Ronald Rolheiser, president of the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, Texas