Sorry, something went wrong. Please try again.
A viral screenshot recently sparked debate after someone received a text message offering support during a divorce. The message, “I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. It’s very normal to feel what you’re feeling for a while. Love is a hard come down,” struck the recipient as oddly impersonal and “canned.” Suspicion grew when a friend pointed out the straight apostrophes-a hallmark of AI-generated text, such as those produced by ChatGPT.
Since ChatGPT’s 2022 launch, people have increasingly turned to AI for help with emotionally difficult messages-breakups, condolences, even wedding vows. Public reaction is often negative, with critics lamenting the loss of genuine human connection and the rise of awkward, robotic phrasing. The phrase “Love is a hard come down” became emblematic of this disconnect: a human in pain seeking comfort, and receiving what felt like a digital ghostwriter’s response instead.
Why do people turn to AI? Because expressing support during someone’s crisis is notoriously hard. Many struggle to find the right words, sometimes choosing silence (ghosting) over risking an awkward reply. In this context, using ChatGPT at least ensures a response is sent-even if it lacks warmth.
This dilemma is not new. For centuries, people have grappled with what to say in the face of grief or hardship. Google searches like “What to say to someone…with cancer…who is dying” reveal an endless need for guidance. Sitting shiva (sitting with someone in mourning) is not something you can really do in the metaverse. Are you supposed to mute yourself during a Zoom funeral?
Ultimately, the most important rule remains unchanged: Show up. Bring some bagels.
Source: Matthew Schnipper, “My Deepest Condolences. Signed, ChatGPT,” The Atlantic (10/3/24)
In the U.S., solo dining reservations have risen 29% over the last two years, according to OpenTable, the restaurant reservation site. They’re also up 18% this year in Germany and 14% in the United Kingdom.
Japan even has a special term for solo dining: “ohitorisama,” which means “alone.” In a recent survey, Japan’s Hot Pepper Gourmet Eating Out Research Institute found that 23% of Japanese people eat out alone, up from 18% in 2018. As a result, many restaurants in Japan and elsewhere are redoing their seating, changing their menus, and adding other special touches to appeal to solo diners. Even so-called family restaurants are increasing counter seats for solitary diners, and restaurants are offering courses with smaller servings so a person eating alone gets a variety of dishes.
OpenTable CEO Debby Soo thinks remote work is one reason for the increase, with diners seeking respites from their home offices. The pandemic also made social interactions less feasible and therefore less important while eating out.
The growth in solo dining also is the result of more people who are living alone. In 2019, the Pew Research Center found that 38% of U.S. adults ages 25 to 54 were living without a partner, up from 29% in 1990. In Japan, single households now make up one-third of the total; that’s expected to climb to 40% by 2040, according to government data.
Increasing interest in solo travel – particularly among travelers ages 55 and over – is also leading to more meals alone.
A time of solitude can be a refreshing break from a busy schedule. But for many people solitude is not a choice. Without putting singles in an embarrassing spotlight, it would be encouraging if church members would diplomatically invite singles to share a homecooked meal, especially during the holidays.
Source: Dee-Ann Durbin and Anne D'Innocenzio, “How Restaurants Are Catering to a Growing Number of Solo Diners,” Time (9-3-24)
In February 2020, BBC journalist Vicky Baker jumped on the Eurostar to Paris, motivated by a sudden urge to have dinner with a friend. American Jim Haynes had entered his late 80s and his health was declining, yet she knew he would welcome a visit. Jim always welcomed visitors to his home in Paris.
She was far from the only guest wandering into the warm glow of his artist's workroom on a wet winter's night. Inside, people were squeezing, shoulder to shoulder, through the narrow kitchen. Strangers struck up conversations, bunched together in groups, and balancing their dinners on paper plates.
Jim had operated open-house policy at his home every Sunday evening for more than 40 years. Absolutely anyone was welcome to come for an informal dinner, all you had to do was phone or email and he would add your name to the list. No questions asked. Just put a donation in an envelope when you arrive.
There would be a buzz in the air, as people of various nationalities - locals, immigrants, travelers - milled around the small, open-plan space. A pot of hearty food bubbled on the stove and servings would be dished out onto a trestle table, so you could help yourself and continue to mingle. It was for good reason that Jim was nicknamed the "godfather of social networking." He led the way in connecting strangers, long before we outsourced it all to Silicon Valley.
At the dinners' peak, Jim would welcome up to 120 guests, filling his home, and spilling out into the cobbled back garden. An estimated 150,000 people have come over the years.
"The door was always open," says Amanda Morrow, an Australian journalist. "It was a revolving door of guests - some who wanted to stay over, and others who just wanted to say hello. Jim never said no to anyone."
Amid the outpouring of online tributes since his death in his sleep on 6 January 2021, these words from his son Jesper stand out:
The only thing that really got Jim down was people leaving. He struggled with that. He didn't like being on his own... His goal from early on was to introduce the whole world to each other. He almost succeeded.
Fellowship; Home; Outreach – Imagine the results if church members would invite others to share in an informal meal at their home. Neighbors, friends, church members, visitors to church all welcomed to mingle and fellowship in the warm, cozy atmosphere of a home.
Source: Vicky Baker, “Jim Haynes: A Man Who Invited the World Over for Dinner,” BBC News (1-23-21)
In the pouring rain, Robert Hale Jr., founder and CEO of wholesale telecommunications provider Granite Telecommunications, took the stage for the graduation ceremony at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
Hale pointed to the security guards coming on stage with two duffle bags he had packed with envelopes of cash. Hale then announced that each graduate who crossed the stage would receive one $500 envelope to keep as a gift and a second $500 envelope to give to someone in need or a charity or cause close to them.
Video shows the students, sitting underneath umbrellas and wearing ponchos in the rain, erupting in cheers at the news. Hale, who is reportedly worth $5.4 billion, told the crowd that for him and his wife Karen, “the greatest joys we’ve had in our life have been the gift of giving. Our community and our world need our help now more than ever.”
Source: Beth Treffeisen, “Billionaire commencement speaker came bearing cash for graduates at this Mass. School,” Boston.com (5-17-24)
For Mike Witmer, it began as a neighborly holiday game. Now it has become an enduring tribute. The Witmer’s Christmas lights were already up when Mike heard that his daughter’s friend from the swim team, Kevin, age 11, was coming home from the hospital, having been hospitalized with cancer. So, Mike decided to write “Get Well Kevin” in lights, and Mike’s wife told Kevin’s folks to swing through their court on their way home from the hospital.
Kevin loved the display, and he asked his mom, “Do you think Mr. Witmer will put my name in lights every year?” When Mike heard that his heart crushed and he thought, “Well, how can I not?” Kevin’s cancer went into remission, but every year Mike would hide the words “Hi” and “Kevin” in his display for Kevin to find it--like a Where’s Waldo? game between them.
Sadly, Kevin’s cancer returned, and he died at age 19. Mike spoke at Kevin’s funeral, telling the mourners he’d be making his “Hi Kevin” sign bigger that year, so Kevin would be able to see it from heaven. It has been on Mike’s garage roof every Christmas ever since.
“In the beginning,” Mike said, “my annual ‘Hi Kevin’ was just a silly gesture to a really nice kid who had been through some tough times. But it has been my honor to keep the salute going for his friends and family.”
Source: Robin Westen; “Keeping a Young Man’s Memory Alive,” AARP (December 2023-January 2024), p. 69
A pub has been reusing the same 77-year-old Christmas decorations in its public bar for more than 60 years. Landlord David Short, 84, first put up the crepe paper streamers and paper lanterns in the Queen's Head, Newton, Cambridgeshire, in 1962.
His son Rob Short, who took over the pub 10 years ago, said his father made the ribbons when he was about seven. He said, "It's amazing they survived as the pub has had some quite raucous evenings over the years. But the thing about them is you can mend them quite easily and put them back up again."
Short, 50, is the third generation of his family to run the Queen's Head. "At Christmas, we're known for our festivities and the decorations are a big part of that. I think people like them because they're traditional and I'm sure they wouldn't fit into a lot of places, but because the pub is very traditional, it fits into the whole ethos of the place."
Mr. Short's father puts the yellow, red and green ribbons up each year because he "is the only one to know how to put them up, it's a bit of a technique - I have been learning a little.” While it can take his regulars "a while to notice they're up, it's almost part of the pub," visitors do notice them because "you just don't get to see decorations like that anymore".
The streamers are carefully rolled up and stored away in a cupboard every year. Mr. Short said: "It's going back to the make-do-and-mend generation, I suppose, and that's what we should all be doing, reusing things - so it's quite relevant to these days as well."
You can see pictures of the decorations here.
1) Church - Leaders have discovered that their church congregations appreciate the “old” traditions of hymns, Nativity plays, candle ceremonies, the four-week observance of Advent, and others. 2) Family, Traditions - This is also true in the family home where celebrating Christmas with nostalgic tree ornaments, reading the Christmas story, and door-to-door caroling bring back warm family memories.
Source: Katy Prickett and John Devine, “Newton pub reuses 77-year-old Christmas decorations since 1962,” BBC (12-5-23
At a moment when Veronica Fraley should’ve been focused only on the task ahead of her, instead she was preoccupied with issues thousands of miles away.
Fraley wrote on X, “I compete in the Olympic Games TOMORROW, and can’t even pay my rent.” Fraley was a graduate student at Vanderbilt University who’d recently set a school record in the discus event. “My school only sent about 75% of my rent while they pay football players (who haven’t won anything) enough to buy new cars and houses.”
Fraley’s post caught the attention of Flavor Flav, co-founder of the legendary hip-hop group Public Enemy. Flav had became an Olympic booster and enthusiast for the women’s water polo team after he found out how much they’d achieved and the economic hardships they had to overcome. Flav told NPR:
When the women aren't in the water playing water polo and everything, you know, they're home, working active jobs - one, two and three jobs. These girls are out here busting their butt to make the United States look good. So, when they're out here playing and practicing, it takes them away from their work. So, I said to myself, why not step in and try to help these girls out?
That resulted in Flav committing to a five-year sponsorship agreement with USA Water Polo, making undisclosed financial donations as well as several high-profile appearances at events and using his social media platform to promote the team.
So, when Flav saw Fraley’s post, he was already primed to help. “I gotchu,” Flav responded on X. “DM me and I’ll send payment TODAY so you don’t have to worry bout it TOMORROW … and imma be rooting for ya tomorrow LETZ GO!!!”
Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of the website Reddit and husband to tennis legend Serena Williams, quickly jumped into the thread. After offering to split the rent, Ohanian did much more, sending more than $7,000 via Cash App.
“This is the power of community,” said Flav in a responding tweet afterwards. “Now she can focus on getting that hardware.”
Source: Chuck Schilken, “U.S. Olympian couldn’t pay her rent. Flavor Flav and Alexis Ohanian took care of it,” LA Times (8-1-24)
In both scientific research studies and informal surveys of friends and family, people considering purchasing electric vehicles often cite charger availability as a potential barrier. Most of the time, it’s purely about the lack of charging stations in a particular geographic region or metro area. But even in places where EV charging stations exist, availability can still be scarce, because of people who overstay their vehicular welcome.
One prominent charging company is trying to solve the problem. A CNN report identified Electrify America, one of the nation’s largest charging firms, as the first to enact a strict time limit in ten of its busiest fast charging stations in California. Once a car’s battery reaches 85 percent, charging ceases and the user is warned to disconnect or face a penalty fee of 40 cents per minute for idling.
Tesla cars are known to do something similar automatically; when a Tesla reaches 80 percent capacity, it requires a user override to continue. But at the Electrify America stations, there is no such possibility for override. It wants its customers to leave so that others can use the service.
According to Electrify America president Robert Barrosa, the public’s charging behavior is a carryover from a lifetime of experience driving gas cars, where it’s customary to fill to 100% capacity. “Once you’re at a charger, it’s like ‘Oh, yeah. I’m filling all the way.’” He went on to say that some drivers may not even be aware of the drop-off in charging speed to get to full battery status. Others may be aware, but could be planning trips in places where charging stations are scarce, and therefore feel justified in taking the extra time.
Still others might be incentivized by free charging agreements from certain car manufacturers. Like customers who take advantage of all-you-can-eat buffets at restaurants, they may not feel like there’s any downside to filling to their heart’s content.
Every act of consideration for another, no matter how small, can be a way to love our neighbor as ourselves.
Source: Peter Valdes-Dapena, “‘Charger hogs’ are ruining the electric vehicle experience,” CNN (8-4-24)
An Oregon man recently threw $200,000 in cash onto a local highway until police asked him to stop due to the risk to pedestrians endangering themselves to collect his show of generosity. People magazine reports: “The Eugene [Oregon] man told responding officers that he was ‘doing well and wanted to bless others with gifts of money.’”
But there was a catch. The money he used to “bless” others came from a shared bank account with other family members. He gave away what didn’t belong solely to him. The man’s family is asking motorists to return the cash to the police and their family.
In contrast to this man, we who have experienced the riches of the grace of God, actually have an invitation to share this grace with others (Matt. 10:8; Rev. 22:17) to help and encourage them.
Source: Abigail Adams, “Oregon Man Says He Threw $200K from Car to 'Bless Others’,” People (4-13-23)
Charles Feeney was raised by working-class parents who struggled during the Depression to pay a $32 monthly mortgage. He served in the Air Force and got into the duty-free shopping business. The business went global. Profits were enormous. By the early 1980s he was plowing tax-free annual dividends of $35 million into hotels, land deals, retail shops, and clothing companies. He later invested in tech start-ups and multiplied his income exponentially. By age 50, he had palatial homes in New York, London, Paris, Honolulu, San Francisco, Aspen, and on the French Riviera.
But as Feeney said later, “I just reached the conclusion with myself that money, buying boats and all the trimmings didn’t appeal to me.” So, Feeney sold his limousines. He quit going to fancy restaurants and bought his clothes off the rack.
He decided to give away his money before he died—secretly. He gave $2.7 billion to fund 1,000 buildings on five continents, and his name appeared on none of them. He gave grants by cashier’s checks to conceal the source.
Feeney funded public-health facilities in Vietnam, the University of Limerick and Trinity College in Ireland, AIDS clinics in South Africa, Operation Smile’s free surgeries for children with cleft lips and palates, a medical campus for the University of California at San Francisco, and earthquake relief in Haiti.
In his last decades, Feeney did not own a home or a car, wore a $10 wristwatch, preferred buses to taxis and, until he was 75, flew coach. He lived in a two-bedroom rented apartment in San Francisco.
Why did he do it? He said, “I cannot think of a more personally rewarding and appropriate use of wealth than to give while one is living, to personally devote oneself to meaningful efforts to improve the human condition.”
Source: Robert D. McFadden, “Charles Feeney, Who Made a Fortune and Then Gave It Away, Dies at 92,” The New York Times (10/9/23)
Controversies abound regarding social media in general and TikTok in particular. And there’s nothing new or novel about older people expressing consternation about the slang terms embraced by younger generations. But there’s a particular convergence of those two trends that have experts especially concerned.
Mental health experts have expressed concerns about the rise of slang terms related to mental health among Gen-Z users on TikTok. Terms like “menty b” (short for mental breakdown) and “grippy sock vacation” (a euphemism for a mental-health-related inpatient hospital stay) are becoming more and more common as more users on the video sharing platform talk more openly about their mental health struggles.
These terms are examples of “algo-speak,” a lexicon of euphemistic terms related to controversial topics that TikTok producers use to prevent automated content moderation systems from downranking their content. In this sense, some mental health professionals applaud the rise of “menty b” and similar variants because speaking more openly on these topics helps to mitigate the stigmas against mental health disclosure. "Saying 'I had a menty b' takes control of the narrative," says therapist Michael Dzwil.
On the other hand, there are some that feel that terms like “menty b” can serve to trivialize serious mental health struggles and prevent people from seeking professional help, opting instead to self-diagnose and seek remedies from other TikTok users.
In Dixon’s conclusion, she recommends users find a balance between pursuing community and finding accurate information. “Wit can't resolve clinical cases alone; treatment necessitates accurate diagnoses and responsive modalities. Pithy phrases make struggles digestible, yet downplay their gravity when inappropriately applied.”
God made us for community so we ought to share our struggles with each other.
Source: Natasha Dixon, “When does mental health slang go too far? The line is blurry,” Los Angeles Post (1-23-24)
If there was any doubt that the national mood could need a dose of uplift, more evidence showed up in late January. On X (formerly known as Twitter), the account for Elmo, the red Muppet from Sesame Street, asked what seemed to be a simple, innocuous question.
“Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?”
In thousands of responses, social media users let Elmo know that no, they were not doing too hot. Users began pouring out their hearts to Elmo:
“I don’t think anyone anticipated how deeply this particular question would resonate,” said Samantha Maltin, a marketing officer for the Sesame Workshop. Maltin believes that Elmo’s question provoked a lot of feelings because his character is rooted in the nostalgic memories of so many millennials.
After about nine thousand responses in about 24 hours, the account posted again. “Wow! Elmo is glad he asked!” it read. “Elmo learned it is important to ask a friend how they are doing.”
It is more important than ever to have dependable friends who will listen to us and to whom we will give a listening ear. Let’s remind ourselves and others that God is always available to hear our troubles and provide “mercy and find grace in time of need” (Heb. 4:16).
Source: Callie Holtermann, “Elmo Asked an Innocuous Question,” New York Times (1-30-24)
Three dangerous threats to a pastor’s soul and our on-the-field longevity.
Rap artists Megan Thee Stallion and Missy Elliott have been burnishing their résumés as of late; following entries for “platinum-selling recording artist” there’s a new one: “budding philanthropist.”
Megan Pete, known onstage as Megan Thee Stallion, recently established a scholarship fund at her alma mater Texas Southern University. The $150,000 Flaming Hot Fund was established in partnership with Frito-Lay, and seeks to alleviate outstanding student debt. She said, “I feel like everyone knows I love education and I would definitely advise anyone to pursue a real degree and to finish school.”
The Flaming Hot Fund will be partially funded from sales of a streetwear apparel line inspired by Flaming Hot Cheetos, a favorite of hers. Additionally, Frito-Lay will make a separate donation of $100,000 to the Pete and Thomas Foundation, a non-profit Megan Thee Stallion launched in 2022 to help underserved communities in her hometown of Houston.
As for Missy Elliott, she recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of her street dedication in Virginia by donating to the Portsmouth Redevelopment and Housing Authority. Elliott’s donation of $50,000 was enough to pay the past-due rents for 26 families in the area. She said that she wanted the occasion to be an opportunity to give back to the community that gave her so much.
Patricia Elliott spoke at the Portsmouth ceremony, explaining her daughter’s motivation for giving back: “So when you give, you give because you remember those days when you didn’t have. If each person would give when they get to the top, then, what a real beautiful world we would be in.”
You don't have to be a titan of business to engage in philanthropy; no matter your role, position, or station in life, anyone can make an impact through generosity.
Source: Alexis Wray, “How Megan Thee Stallion and Missy Elliott are canceling student and rent debt,” Oregon Live (11-9-23)
When I was a child, my dad made up a fake holiday called Big Sandwich Night the weekend after Thanksgiving. On that night we got the longest bread we could find and built a big sandwich together and then cut it up and ate it. We got really fancy ingredients and each built our own section of sandwich before cutting it. Building the sandwich together represents community or teamwork. After dinner we would put our Christmas tree up and the holiday season was officially kicked off with Big Sandwich Night.
I grew up believing this was a real holiday that Americans everywhere celebrated until when I was eight-years-old. I asked a friend if they were excited for Big Sandwich Night and they were like “What are you talking about?” It kind of shattered my worldview, but we still celebrate it and I’ve spread the tradition to friends and partners.
Over the years as we’ve included more people, we’ve started having to graft loaves together to make a sandwich big enough for everyone. But it still communicates the core idea of everyone eating the same sandwich together in fellowship.
What a good idea to promote community with family and friends, especially in-person community.
Source: John Farrier, “Big Sandwich Night: One Family's Tradition,” Neatorama (6-4-23)
True or false: In general, bigger donors to churches, ministries, and charities give more because they have more ability to give.
Answer: It’s a trick question. The correct answer, to some extent, is both true and false.
The true part is that people with more money do tend to give away larger amounts of money. Grey Matter Research studied evangelical Protestants in 2021. Among donors, they found median giving to church and charity in the past 12 months was $2,200 when household incomes were $100,000 or more, dropping to just $200 when incomes were below $30,000. Clearly, higher-income evangelicals give more.
The false part is that when you evaluate giving amounts as a percentage of household income, they saw almost no difference in generosity between more affluent and less affluent evangelical donors. (Generosity is simply the proportion of household income that is given away.)
Donors with household incomes below $30,000 give away a median of 1.5% of their pre-tax income. The median is a nearly identical 1.56% when incomes are $30,000 to under $60,000. It does rise slightly to 1.85% with incomes of $60,000 to under $100,000, but then falls again to a median of 1.56% among donors earning six figures.
In other words, evangelicals who give money generally do so at a pretty consistent (and consistently low) rate, no matter what their income is like. But 1.5% of $100,000 is obviously twice as much cash as 1.5% of $50,000, so the amount of money rises as income rises.
Regardless of whether you consider tithing to be a biblical mandate or guideline, the chances are you’re not close to it: only about 13% of evangelical Protestants give anything close to a tithe.
Source: Ron Sellers, “Generosity is Not Driven by Income,” CT magazine online (4-19-23)
Everyone knows your family can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but regular family dinners can be the key to reduced stress levels in the household. This was found in a survey by the American Heart Association (AHA), who research chronic stress which can increase rates for all manner of heart diseases.
Of the 1,000 U.S. adults surveyed in September 2022, 91% of respondents said their family was less stressed when they share meals together. 84% say they wish they could share a meal more often with loved ones.
Dr. Erin Michos said, “Sharing meals with others is a great way to reduces stress, boost self-esteem, and improve social connection, particularly for kids. Chronic, constant stress can also increase your lifetime risk of heart disease and stroke. So, it is important for people to find ways to reduce and manage stress as much as possible, as soon as possible.”
Connecting with friends, family, coworkers and neighbors benefits people beyond stress relief. In fact, the survey found a majority of people say sharing a meal reminds them of the importance of connecting with other people, and say it reminds them to slow down and take a break.
Those surveyed say they are more likely (59%) to make healthier food choices when eating with other people but have difficulty aligning schedules with their friends or family to do so. Overall, respondents reported eating alone about half of the time.
Dr. Michos said, “It’s not always as easy as it sounds to get people together at mealtime. Like other healthy habits, give yourself permission to start small and build from there.”
Eating together as a family takes sacrifice and planning. Start from an early age with your children (but it’s never too late). Turn off the TV and cell phones. Plan for some conversation and allow even the youngest to contribute.
Source: Editor, “Study Finds that Eating Dinner as a Family Makes 91% of Families Less Stressed,” Good News Network (10-27-22)
Charitable giving went up nearly five percent during the economic trouble caused by record inflation in 2022, according to a Fundraising Effectiveness Project study of American nonprofits. The number of donors, however, declined by about seven percent—fewer people gave more money.
Number of megadonors -0.4%
Number of medium donors -1.4%
Number of small donors -13%
Money given +4.7%
Source: Editor, “Inflated Giving,” CT magazine (May-June, 2023), p. 14
Who are the most generous givers? As a nation, America tops the charts. The three most charitable cities in America are all in Idaho. On average practicing Christians in those Idaho cities give $17,977. That beats out the giving from people in New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago, which averages $3,308 per person.
Age also makes a big difference in giving. Eighty four percent of millennials give less than $50 to charity per year even though charitable giving ranks high on their priorities.
Today, the average church attender gives 2.5% of his or her income annually. During the Great Depression, that number was 3.3%. Thirty seven percent of those who consider themselves evangelical Christians don't give at all to their churches. Only 2.7% of evangelical Christians practice tithing.
Editor’s Note: You can read this fascinating Barna survey with all the stats here.
Source: John Lee, On Generosity (Stone Tower Press, 2022), pp. 63-64; Michael Foust, “America’s Most Generous Christians Live in Idaho, Iowa,” Christian Headlines (11-27-19)