Sluggards

In the mid-'70s, an unknown editor named Gary Dahl was talking with his friends, who were complaining about all the work involved in caring for pets—feeding them, walking them, cleaning up after them. Dahl kidded that he had a pet that never caused him any trouble—a pet rock.

Surprisingly, the joke started to take off. Dahl recruited two colleagues as investors, visited a building-supply store and bought a load of smooth Mexican beach stones at about a penny apiece. The Pet Rock hit the marketplace in time for Christmas 1975. In a matter of months, some 1.5 million rocks were sold. It was a craze to rival the Hula-Hoop. For a mere three dollars and 95 cents, a consumer could buy … a rock—a plain, ordinary, egg-shaped rock of the kind one could dig up in almost any backyard.

For a few frenzied months in 1975, more than a million consumers did, becoming the proud—if slightly abashed—owners of Pet Rocks, the fad that Newsweek later called "one of the most ridiculously successful marketing schemes ever." When Dahl died in March 2015, his New York Times obituary claimed "the concept of a 'pet' that required no actual work and no real commitment resonated with the self-indulgent '70s, and before long a cultural phenomenon was born."

Pet Rocks made Dahl a millionaire practically overnight, but despite the boon Pet Rocks brought him he came to regret his success. The Pet Rock craze went the way of all fads—it died out and was replaced by the next fad. After his sudden wealth, he went through three marriages, a law suit, and failed attempts to match his previous success. At one point he said, "Sometimes I look back and wonder if my life wouldn't have been simpler if I hadn't done it."

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Success; Ambition; Achievement; Emptiness—all of the success in the world can't satisfy our heart's need for Jesus Christ. (2) Conformity; Worldliness—It's amazing how a silly fad—a Pet Rock—can take off and become a worldwide craze.

One of today's most popular sports cheers was first chanted in 1999 during the fourth quarter of an Army-Navy football game. The six-word cheer—I believe that we will win!—has been called the "epitome of classic American optimism." But according to emerging research, for all of its sincerity, in real life this "I believe we will win" attitude tends to backfire.

For instance, a study found that overly optimistic grad students have a tougher time finding jobs. Researchers interviewed students in their last year of grad school, asking them to rate how likely they thought they were to land a good job shortly after leaving school. Two years later, those who had admitted to frequent positive fantasies about life after grad school were less likely to succeed in their job search. They sent out fewer résumés, and the daydreamers ultimately earned less than the students who had a more realistic take on their post-university lives.

In that same paper, researchers asked a different set of students about the person they currently, secretly, had feelings for. Five months later, the students who had spent the most time fantasizing about their future lives with their crushes were the least likely to have actually started relationships with them. Many of them hadn't even tried. The people with more moderate expectations, on the other hand, were more likely to approach the object of their affection and own up to their feelings.

Positive thinking has its place, but don't mistake the warm fuzzies that accompany daydreaming about achieving your goals for, you know, actually achieving those goals.

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Hope; Faith; Belief—This is a great way to introduce the hearty, solid, more-than-just-optimistic nature of true biblical hope, or to show how "faith" is only as good as the object we place it in. (2) Diligence; Planning; Goals—It can also show the need to work for our goals rather than living like sluggards who never plan or work.

Everyone knows that a letter carrier has one job—deliver the mail. Apparently a Brooklyn mailman spent a decade avoiding his job by intentionally hoarding over 40,000 pieces of mail over a ten-year period. In September 2014, Joseph Brucato admitted hiding over a ton of mail (2,500 pounds to be exact) meant for customers in Flatbush since 2005, according to a Brooklyn federal court complaint.

A postal supervisor became suspicious that Brucato was up to something weird when he noticed his personal car was stuffed with undelivered letters. Investigators pressed Brucato about the letter cache, and he admitted hoarding priority, first-class, and regular mail that had once been headed for Brooklyn businesses and residents in Flatbush. It took five postal agents five hours to remove the massive stash of purloined letters from his apartment. If convicted, Brucato faces up to five years in prison.

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Evangelism; Outreach—There's something far more absurd and outrageous than hoarding mail: hoarding the Good News of Christ. (2) Money; Generosity—There's something far more outrageous or absurd than hoarding the mail: hoarding our money. Our resources don't belong to us.

Every few years the U.S. Department of Defense publishes a short book that contains amazing stories about real crime, cheating scientists, drug dealers, and rogue real-estate agents. It's called The Encyclopedia of Ethical Failure. The book is filled with true case studies of government employees acting badly. It's used to train new government workers how not to behave on the job.

For example, one case study focuses on a federal employee who backed up his van to the office door at night and stole all of his department's computer equipment. A short time later he was arrested for trying to sell the equipment at his yard sale. He wasn't hard to catch: the computers were still plastered with barcodes and stickers that read "Property of the U.S Government."

Or there's this story: For several years two government executives apparently had never taken vacation time. But investigators noticed that they had taken lots of "religious compensatory time." Curiously, though, those days never fell on a religious holiday from any known religion. Instead, they happened to coincide with the employees' golf outings. When asked if golf tournaments should be considered a religious holiday, one of the employees replied, "They could be for some people."

Why do seemingly decent people do such dumb things? The current editor of The Encyclopedia of Ethical Failure offered this explanation:

I found it didn't relate to grade, or rank, or gender. The [main] issue was that at the moment they didn't think of the ramifications. In most cases when you would sit down with these folks afterwards and say, What were you thinking? They would be banging their heads on the table and saying, You're right; I wasn't thinking.

Eugene J. Polley lived his entire life in the Chicago area, where he worked for Zenith Electronics for 47 years. Hired as a stock boy during the Depression, he eventually became an engineer with 18 patents to his credit. But his most famous invention would become known as the TV remote control.

In 1950, Zenith released a product called Lazy Bones, a cumbersome device tethered to the TV by a long cord. Zenith's founder demanded something better. So in 1955 Mr. Polley produced an innovation called the Flash-Matic, a ray-gun remote control sold just as TV sets were making their way into every American home. "Absolutely harmless to humans!" the Flash-Matic ads promised. Within decades, a television could be found in practically every American home, and nearly every TV set had a remote to go with it.

At one point in his life, Polley had high hopes for his invention. He said, "Maybe I did something for humanity—like the guy who invented the flush toilet." But although the TV remote has helped the disabled and elderly, it has also been blamed for contributing to obesity, sparking marital spats, and causing many TV viewers to "zone out" as they "channel surf." For many people, a TV remote control has become a symbol for convenience and even laziness. As John Ortberg once half-jokingly wrote, "Life without the remote control is an unbearable burden for the modern American family."

Towards the end of his life, Polley seemed to regret some of these negative consequences of the TV remote. He said, "Everything has to be done remotely now or forget it. Nobody wants to get off their fat and flabby to control [their own] electronic devices."

In 1850, Abraham Lincoln's step-brother, John D. Johnston, wrote to him and asked, yet again, for a loan so he could settle some debts. On previous occasions Lincoln simply gave Johnston the money. But this time Lincoln responded with a "tough love" letter that included a helpful proposal.

Dear Johnston:

Your request for eighty dollars I do not think it best to comply with now. At the various times when I have helped you a little you have said to me, "We can get along very well now"; but in a very short time I find you in the same difficulty again. Now, this can only happen by some defect in your conduct. What that defect is, I think I know. You are not lazy, and still you are an idler. I doubt whether, since I saw you, you have done a good whole day's work in any one day…. This habit of uselessly wasting time is the whole difficulty; it is vastly important to you, and still more so to your children, that you should break the habit ….

You are now in need of some money; and what I propose is, that you shall go to work, "tooth and nail," for somebody who will give you money for it …. and, to secure you a fair reward for your labor, I now promise you, that for every dollar you will, between this and the first of May, get for your own labor … I will then give you one other dollar …. Now, if you will do this, you will be soon out of debt, and, what is better, you will have a habit that will keep you from getting in debt again. But, if I should now clear you out of debt, next year you would be just as deep in as ever.

Affectionately your brother,

A. Lincoln

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Confrontation/Rebuke—Lincoln's letter provides a good example of "tough love"—the love that is willing to "speak the truth in love" so people can change and grow. (2) Money/Debt—This letter also provides a biblical perspective on avoiding debt by working hard and being responsible with money.

T. David Gordon, in his book, "Vocation: Work Quietly with Your Hands," writes:

Perceiving [all] of our labor as a vocation can have a substantial impact on how we go about [any job]. I worked as greenskeeper at a golf course in the summer when I was in school. I knew I had no intention to mow greens and fairways for my "career." But for the nine summers I was a greenskeeper, I regarded it as my calling [from God] for the time. I was ordinarily one of the first to arrive and the last to leave; I routinely volunteered for the most unpleasant or demanding work; and I could run any piece of equipment in the shop, which made me a "utility infielder" for my [bosses].

In my judgment, there is far too much Christian conversation about "finding" our calling, and too little about "pursuing" the one we have.

It's no secret that procrastination has a high price tag: it costs money, it undermines relationships, and it lowers job performance. In recent years, numerous psychologists have studied the prevalence and consequences of procrastination. The following facts provide an overview of some of the more interesting findings about this research:

• About 15-20 percent of adults are regular procrastinators.
• About 80-95 percent of college students are considered procrastinators.
• Many Americans don't have enough money for their retirement because of putting off saving during their working life.
• The Oregon Health and Science University tested several thousand people's level of cholesterol. Of the 19,800 who tested for high cholesterol, 35 percent did not see a doctor for at least 5 months.
• A University of Windsor in Ontario study found that procrastinators had higher stress levels and more household accidents than non-procrastinators.
• The vast majority of procrastinators—95 percent—want to end their habit but can't. One psychologist said: "Habits become non-conscious brain processes. When procrastination becomes chronic, a person is essentially running on autopilot."

I read a story in the L. A. Times a long time ago. A guy goes to the house where he grew up and knocks on the door. Because he hadn't been there for 20 years, he finds himself getting sentimental. He asks the owners if he can walk through the house, and they let him. While in the attic, he finds an old jacket of his. He puts it on, reaches into the pocket, and pulls out a stub. It's a receipt from a shoe repair shop. He realizes he had taken a pair of shoes there twenty years ago, and in the midst of the move, he had never picked them up. On a whim he decides to go to the shoe repair shop. Just to be funny, he takes the receipt out and hands it to the guy behind the desk, saying, "Are my shoes ready?" The guy goes back to the workroom for a minute, comes back to the counter, and says, "Come back a week from Thursday."

That's the mind of the sluggard; they're always saying, "A week from Thursday."