Unanswered Prayer

Marcus Doe used to dream of revenge against his father’s killer. Then he came to faith in Christ. He writes:

We had heard the distant gunshots for a few weeks. But that morning they were close. By mid-morning we were all lying face down in the house, listening as bullets whizzed through the air. In the lull between bursts of gunfire, we could hear voices shouting instructions. If they found out my name, they would kill me.

I was born in Liberia, West Africa, where my father served in the Special Security Service of President Samuel Doe (no relation), who had come to power through a violent military coup. The “freedom fighters” had come to remove him, and killing anyone who worked in Doe’s government.

At that time, Marcus was only 11-years-old. He had already lost his mother to illness and now his father’s life was in danger. The rebels were ruthless, murdering innocent people on the barest of suspicions. So, his father sent him to live with his brother, Roosevelt, and his wife.

Later that year, Marcus and his brother left on a ship for neighboring Ghana. He felt that life was just returning to normal when he received word that his father had been killed. He was now an orphan.

My life’s goal was to find the soldier or soldiers who made me an orphan and make them pay. Then my brother and his wife came to America as refugees, and in 1993 we arrived. In quiet times, I daydreamed of revenge. I cried myself to sleep most nights.

After Marcus graduated from high school, Roosevelt had a sudden heart attack at age 38. Marcus said, “In that darkness, I turned to God. I had one question: ‘Why?’ I listed all the things that I blamed him for: Ma, Pa, the war, separation from family, their suffering — and now my beloved brother. I blamed God. Why?”

Guilt overwhelmed me. I had chosen to nurse my desire for vengeance. I realized that I could relinquish them once and for all. I begged God to forgive me. I would let go of revenge and rage. I asked God, from the sincerest and deepest part of my heart, to save my brother.

Four days later, he got the news that Roosevelt would recover. That answered prayer was the first step in his journey to faith. He says, “I began truly walking the road of forgiveness. I decided that I wanted to find my father’s killer. I practiced saying, ‘I forgive you.’”

In 2010, almost 20 years after I had left, I made my way back to Liberia. But I did not meet my father’s killer. He had died in the fighting. Even so, I forgave him. Today, I hope to share this hard-won peace and hope with fellow Liberians, so many of whom suffered greatly during our country’s brutal civil wars. But more important, I’ll strive to bring gospel healing. Because wherever Jesus’ words of forgiveness are spoken, the future is bright with hope.

In nature, red skin signals that a tomato is ripe. But this is not necessarily true of tomatoes that have been forced to turn red. It is entirely possible, and likely, that we are purchasing and consuming unripe fruit. And there would be little way of knowing it until we take the first bite.

To be fair, part of the reason that growers gas tomatoes with ethylene is because this is what the market demands. As consumers, we want to walk into our local grocery store any time of the day, any day of the week, and pick up a red tomato.

In much the same way, we want the certainty of knowing that the answers to life’s questions are always within reach. But humility teaches us to wait for God for answers. Humility teaches us to let knowledge ripen on the vine.

In the hours immediately before his death, Jesus spends time teaching and praying with his disciples, reminding them that they must abide in him in order to bear fruit. He also promises to send the Helper, or the Holy Spirit, to enable them to learn and grow. Jesus promises them, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.”

While Jesus is concerned that his disciples grow in their understanding, he is also comfortable with them not knowing all things—in part because they aren’t ready for more knowledge yet. Jesus is also confident in the Holy Spirit’s ability to take them through the process. But this can only happen as they are connected to him, the Vine.

Proverbs 3 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” In God’s wisdom, the very process of learning binds us to him in a way that simply knowing answers cannot. And so he asks you to trust him. He asks you to humble yourself to wait for him.

In 2014, Steve Stamkos was looking forward to representing his country at the Sochi Olympic games. Sports analysts reported the importance of his role, so all of Canada was counting on him too. Everyone was concerned when Stamkos had fractured his right tibia in November of the previous year.

Doctors inserted a titanium rod to promote healing and stability. And as the date for the games approached, sports analysts reported that physical therapists had instituted a targeted regiment to speed up the healing. But by early February it became clear, Stamkos would not be ready in time.

In a statement Stamkos said: "(This) is obviously very disappointing for me. I honestly believe we did everything possible in order to have my injured leg ready in time for the Olympics, but I realize you can't force healing."

Possible Preaching Angle:

Sometimes, despite our best prayers, our best efforts, healing does not come. God has other plans. You can’t force the healing; you can't force the healer.

Dr. Helen Roseveare, missionary to the Congo, told the story of a mother on her mission station who died after giving birth to a premature baby. They tried to improvise an incubator, but the only hot water bottle they had was beyond repair. So, they prayed for the baby and for her little sister who was now an orphan. One of the girls responded, “Dear God, please send a hot water bottle today. Tomorrow will be too late. And dear Lord, send a doll for her sister so she won't feel so lonely.”

That afternoon a parcel arrived from England and the children watched as they opened it. To their surprise, under some clothing was a hot water bottle! Immediately the girl who had prayed dug deeper into the parcel. She was sure God would provide the doll she prayed for. And she was right! The Heavenly Father knew of the child's faith. Five months before that morning prayer, he had led a women’s church group to include both of those specific items.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Perhaps you have prayed many times for something. You have waited for the answer, but none has come. God knows your every need. be assured, an answer will come. “I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking to me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers.” (Isa. 65:24)

Are you impatient with slowpokes and frustrated by waiting? If so, you will identify with what Chelsea Wald wrote in an article:

Not long ago I diagnosed myself with the recently identified condition of sidewalk rage. It’s most pronounced when it comes to a certain friend who is a slow walker. Last month, as we sashayed our way to dinner, I found myself biting my tongue, thinking, I have to stop going places with her if I ever want to … get there!

Slowness rage is not confined to the sidewalk, of course. Slow drivers, slow Internet, slow grocery lines—they all drive us crazy. Slow things drive us crazy because the fast pace of society has warped our sense of timing. Things that our great-great-grandparents would have found miraculously efficient now drive us around the bend. Patience is a virtue that’s been vanquished in the Twitter age.

Make no mistake: Society continues to pick up speed. In his book, Social Acceleration, Hartmut Rosa informs us that the speed of human movement from pre-modern times to now has increased by a factor of 100. The speed of communications has skyrocketed by a factor of 10 million, and data transmission has soared by a factor of around 10 billion. A study found that even our walking speed has increased by 10 percent since the 1990s.

Wald concludes:

So, on a recent stroll with my slow-walking friend, I think fondly of her charming sense of humor, our fun outings, her support during tough times. As we walk, languidly, to a restaurant, I feel momentarily free of my sidewalk rage. Yet as this warm feeling passes over me in the restaurant, I begin quietly raging at the server, the kitchen, and I’m even raging at my rage; it feels like it’s lasting forever.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Frustration; Impatience; Waiting – Frustrated by slow people and slow answers to prayer? Slow down, take a deep breath, and try counting your blessings. Thank God for all the conveniences you enjoy in your life. Recognize that God has a purpose in delaying your timing. 2) Pastor; Minister – Don’t rush from one person to the next after the service or become frustrated if one congregant requires extra time. Give each person your full attention and care, showing them that they matter to God.

One-quarter of all Americans believe that God cares about who wins the Super Bowl. That's according to a survey released in January 2017. That's slightly less than the number (28 percent) who believe God had "a major role" in placing Donald Trump in the White House.

This latest study follows the results of previous surveys with some of the same questions. According to a Religion News Service article, "In 2013, 27 percent of Americans said they believed God was involved in sports outcomes, and in 2015 that number was 26 percent." Of course there's a flip side to this: 20 percent of sports fans believe their teams have been "cursed" at some point. But not everyone thinks that God answers prayers in favor of their team. 73 percent of Americans believe that God doesn't intervene in the final score.

Fran Tarkenton, a former All-Pro quarterback who led his team to three Super Bowls, wrote an article for The Wall Street Journal lambasting himself and other athletes for their shallow prayers. Tarkenton wrote:

My forays into hoping for divine intervention didn't work out. I prayed fervently before each of the three Super Bowls we Minnesota Vikings played in. We played against the Dolphins, the Steelers, and the Raiders … I was sure God would be on our side for the game against the Raiders! After all, they were the villains of the league, and it was hard to believe they had more Christians on their team than on our saintly Vikings. We lost.

Before every game, no matter what team I was on at the time, the coach would always ask the most devout player to say a prayer. This would happen after we'd already been out warming up—so we'd all seen the crowd, we were in full uniform (complete with eye black doubling as war paint), and the intensity of the week had built up to a near frenzy in the locker room … [Then] after this moment of devotion, the team would all shout in unison, "Now let's go kill those S.O.B.'s!"

In an interview with Ben Zobrist, then Kansas City Royals left-fielder and one of Major League Baseball's most valuable players (retired from the Cubs in 2020), Collin Hansen commented, "You played well, you got promoted fairly quickly, but baseball is fundamentally a failure game." Zobrist responded:

It's funny, I listen to those interviews after people win the Super Bowl or World Series and stuff and sometimes I'm like, we're missing it. If we are believers and we're telling people, look you work hard and do it as unto the Lord he's going to bless you and you're going to be successful, that's not what this life is about. … I hear people use Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" as like their pump-up verse that's gonna allow them to do things on the field they've never done before ... When you really look at that passage, the Apostle Paul is saying, "I can even do jail, and misery, and weakness through Christ who strengthens me." For me, I have to realize if that's the truth, when I fail I need to give God glory just as much as when I succeed. If through that people can see that my hope is not in my success or failure, it's in him, then so be it. Let that be for God's glory.

The 20th century Norwegian pastor [Ole] Hallesby likens prayer to mining as he knew it in Norway. Demolition to create mine shafts took two basic kinds of actions. There are long periods of time, he writes, "when the deep holes are being bored with great effort into the hard rock." To bore the holes deeply enough into the most strategic spots for removing the main body of rock was work that took patience, steadiness, and a great deal of skill. Once the holes were finished, however, the "shot" was inserted and connected to a fuse. "To light the fuse and fire the shot is not only easy but also very interesting … . One sees 'results.' … Shots resound, and pieces fly in every direction." He concludes that while the more painstaking work takes both skill and patient strength of character, "anyone can light a fuse."

Pastor Tim Keller comments:

This helpful illustration warns us against doing only "fuse-lighting" prayers, the kind that we soon drop if we do not get immediate results. If we believe both in the power of prayer and in the wisdom of God, we will have a patient prayer life of "hole-boring." Mature believers know that handling the tedium is part of what makes for effective prayers. We must avoid extremes—of either not asking God for things or of thinking we can bend God's will to ours. We must combine tenacious importunity, a "striving with God," with deep acceptance of God's wise will, whatever it is.

When Timex (the watch company) asked people how long they would wait before taking action in a wide variety of situations, researchers discovered that we'll consent to wait only:

• thirteen seconds before we honk at a car in front of us that's stopped at a green light;
• twenty-six seconds before we shush people who are talking in a movie theater;
• twenty-six seconds before we take the seat of someone who's walked away;
• forty-five seconds before we ask someone who's talking too loud on a cell phone to "keep it down";
• thirteen minutes for a table at a restaurant;
• twenty minutes for a blind date to show up before we leave;
• and twenty minutes for the last person to show up for Thanksgiving dinner before we dig in.

Steve Hayner, the 66-year-old beloved president of Columbia Theological Seminary, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After tests had revealed that the chemotherapy wasn't working, Hayner wrote, "The cancer continues to have the upper hand. What now seems clear from a purely physical perspective is that in all probability the remainder of my life on this earth is now to be counted in weeks and months." In a blog post Hayner addressed the many people who have been praying for a miracle of healing.

Many are praying for one of God's "big" miracles. We are as well. But it is not how God answers prayer that determines our response to God. God is committed to my ultimate healing. But being cured of my cancer may or may not be a part of that healing work … One person told me how disturbing it is to her to watch so many thousands of prayers on my behalf and yet to see a minimal of physical evidence of healing. Does God really heal? … Does the amount of prayer have any special impact? Honestly, while I understand the importance and logic of questions like this … most of these questions are not ones that are important to me.

I truly don't know what God has planned … I could receive "healing" through whatever means, or I could continue to deteriorate. But life is about a lot more than physical health. It is measured by a lot more than medical tests and vital signs. More important than the more particular aspects of God's work with us … is God's overall presence with us, nourishing, equipping, transforming, empowering, and sustaining us for whatever might be God's call to my life today. TODAY, my call might be to learn something new about rest. TODAY, my call might be to encourage another person in some very tangible way. TODAY, my call might be to learn something new about patience, endurance, and the identification with those who suffer. TODAY, my call might be to mull through a new insight about God's truth or character.

He closed by quoting the poet E. E. Cummings: "I thank you God for most this amazing day …"

Editor’s Note: Steve passed into the Lord’s presence in 2015

The Minnesota storyteller Kevin Kling was born with a birth defect—his left arm was disabled and much shorter than his right. Then, in his early 40s, a motorcycle accident nearly killed him and paralyzed his healthy right arm. While he was in the hospital recovering from the accident, Kling learned a life-changing lesson about "the three phases of prayer."

In the first phase of prayer, we pray to get things from God. In the second phase, we pray to get out of things. While he was in rehab for his accident, Kling learned the third phase of prayer—giving thanks to God. Kling says:

I'd been through many surgeries during my six week stay in the hospital. And each day, I would ride the elevator to the ground floor and try and take a walk. That was my job. 9/11 had happened the week before. And as our country was entering trauma, I was living one. After my walk, my wife Mary and I went into the gift shop, and she asked if I wanted an apple. She said they looked really good. Now, I hadn't tasted food in over a month … I lost a lot of weight because food had no appeal. So I said no, but she persisted. Come on. Try it. So finally, I said all right. And I took a bite. And for some reason, that was the day flavor returned, and that powerful sweetness rushed from that apple. Oh, it was incredible.

I started to cry, cry for the first time in years. The tears flowed and as the anesthesia and antibiotics flushed through my tears, it burned my eyes. And between the sweetness of that apple and the burning for my tears, it felt so good to be alive. I blurted out, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for this life." And that's when my prayers shifted, again, to giving thanks.

Tim Keller, reflecting on the passage, "Don't be anxious but make requests to God with thanksgiving", writes that, "We would expect Paul to say first you make your requests to God and then, you thank him for the answers. But that is not what Paul says." Keller then illustrates his point with a story from his early twenties:

I prayed for an entire year about a girl I was dating and wanted to marry, but she wanted out of the relationship. All year I prayed, "Lord, don't let her break up with me." Of course, in hindsight, it was the wrong girl. I actually did what I could to help God with the prayer, because one summer, near the end of the relationship, I got in a location that made it easier to see her. I was saying, "Lord, I am making this as easy as possible for you. I have asked you for this, and I have even taken the geographical distance away." But as I look back, God was saying, "Son, when a child of mine makes a request, I always give that person what he or she would have asked for if they knew everything I know" [emphasis PreachingToday.com].

In the fall of 2000, doctors diagnosed Pastor Ed Dobson with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), an incurable and fatal disease. The doctors gave him two to five years to live and predicted that he would spend most of that time in a disabled condition.

Shortly after he was diagnosed, Ed wanted someone to anoint him with oil and pray for healing. And he wanted someone to pray who really believed in healing. So Ed invited a friend, a Pentecostal pastor who had regular healing services, to come over and pray for him. Here's how Ed described what happened:

It was one of the most moving evenings of my entire life. He began by telling stories of people he had prayed for who were miraculously healed. He also told stories about people he had prayed for who were not healed and had passed away, receiving that ultimate and final healing. Before he prayed for me he gave me some advice.

"Don't become obsessed with getting healed, Ed," he said. "If you get obsessed [with getting healed], you will lose your focus. Get lost in the wonder of God, and who knows what he will do for you."

This is some of the best advice I have ever received …. Since that night, I've been trying to get—and stay—lost in the wonder of God.