Weddings

America is in a party deficit. Only 4.1 percent of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023, a 35 percent decrease since 2004. Last month, Party City, the country’s largest retailer of mylar balloons, goofy disposable plates, and other complements to raging, announced that it would close after years of flagging sales and looming debt.

Six months ago on Reddit, someone asked one of the saddest questions I’ve ever seen on the social platform, which is really saying something: “Did anybody else think there would be more parties?”

“When I was a kid my parents and extended family used to have serious parties on a regular basis,” the post continues. “I remember houses and yards full of people, music all the way up, lots of food and of course free flowing alcohol. Neighbors, family, coworkers, their friends, they all showed up. And likewise, my parents went to their parties. I thought that is what my adult years would be like, but they aren’t.”

A lot of other people seem to feel the same way. Polling from 2023 showed that although 84 percent of Americans enjoy birthday parties, only 59 percent had attended one in the previous year. In a different YouGov poll from 2022, only 28 percent of respondents said they would “probably” or “definitely” throw a party for their next birthday. Everyone wants to attend parties, but no one wants to throw them. We just expect them to appear when we need them, like fire trucks.

Tarryn Pitt loves scouring thrift shops for treasures, from vintage canning jars to velveteen armchairs. “I’ve been thrifting my whole life — it’s one of my favorite things to do, at least once or twice a week,” she said. “Pretty much all of my home decor came from a thrift store.”

She was browsing in secondhand stores where she lives in Prineville, Oregon, when she got an idea about her upcoming wedding. The average cost of a wedding in the United States is about $33,000 — an amount she said she found extravagant and also created a lot of environmental waste.

“I wanted something that was unique and fit my personality,” said Pitt, 25. “A thrift store wedding dinner seemed like the perfect answer.”

She and her fiancé, Holt Porfily, are inviting 307 guests to their outdoor mountain wedding in Sisters, Oregon. All of the wedding tableware and decorations at the outdoor meal will be thrifted.

“It’s honestly not just about saving money for us, though,” Pitt said. “What we’re doing is super sustainable, and I love giving old things new life.”

So far, she said, she has spent less than $2,000 on her wedding dinnerware and decorations, about half of what she priced out to rent similar items.

In late December, she posted a TikTok video of some of the plates she had found during one of her thrift shop excursions. Pitt said she was shocked when the video received more than 3.6 million views and 2,200 comments.

Pitt said the response has been so positive that she now plans to keep only a few plates after the wedding, and she hopes to rent the rest to other interested brides and grooms. She said she will keep the price low for obvious reasons.

When Austin Dunsmuir sat down to write wedding day letters to each of his bride Mikayla’s loved ones, he wasn’t aiming for viral fame—he simply wanted to honor the people who had helped shape the woman he was about to marry. But the powerful gesture, captured in a TikTok that has since touched millions, revealed the depth of his love and emotional intelligence in a way few wedding traditions do.

“I’m going to try not to get emotional,” Mikayla Dunsmuir told PEOPLE, reflecting on the moment she first learned of Austin’s surprise. “He really appreciates these amazing (people) that are in my life now.” The recipients included not just bridesmaids, but also both sets of parents, Mikayla’s grandmother, the couple’s ring bearers, and the maid of honor.

Austin’s idea came after seeing how deeply Mikayla’s inner circle poured into her during her bridal year. “I was like, I really want to do something special for them for the wedding,” Mikayla recalled. “And he was like, ‘What if I wrote them something from my perspective of your friendship and it’s a surprise?’”

Mikayla described the emotional scene as the letters were opened. “Everyone opened the letter from Austin at the same time,” she told them, wanting to witness their collective reaction. “I was just happy seeing them be so emotional toward our relationship and toward him.”

One of the most poignant letters was to Mikayla’s father, read aloud at the wedding. “Austin grew up without a father, so my dad has been like the closest thing to a father for him,” Mikayla explained. “We wanted to make a moment of the day about him and let everyone know how much we love him.”

Reflecting on the experience, Mikayla shared, “He’s honestly just such a kind-hearted, selfless angel... I love that some people are getting to see that now because he’s a very private person.” The letters didn’t just move the recipients—they strengthened lifelong bonds and left an indelible mark on their wedding day.

Potential Preaching Angle:

Love gives honor to the parents and family who laid our foundation.

The New York Times unearthed a surprising trend in the wedding industry: Many couples are now choosing cemeteries as wedding venues. It’s a way to highlight an eternal commitment by choosing a place of eternal rest, and after all, many wedding vows include the promise “until death do us part.”

“Every year, we get more and more requests,” said Richard Harker of the Historic Oakland Foundation, which runs Atlanta’s Oakland Cemetery, the oldest public park in the city. According to Harker, Oakland hosted more weddings in 2023 than funerals (36 to 25, respectively).

Some couples choose them for personal reasons, such as to honor a loved one who can’t be present in the flesh. Others simply find the combination of outdoor décor appealing. In some cases, the cost is lower because of less demand, and often restrictions on the size and scope of the gathering make it easier for couples who want a smaller gathering.

Cemetery weddings are nothing new. Jews living in Eastern Europe and in the United States sometimes held weddings in cemeteries during times of mass disease, like during the 1918 influenza, in the belief that having the ceremony in the presence of the dead might bring about better times.

Whatever the reason, couples looking to choose a cemetery for their nuptials must be prepared to abide by a lot of logistical rules that govern the locale; no matter how joyous the affair, cemeteries are still the resting place of the dearly departed. Many of the more historic cemeteries have rules in place preventing, for example, dancing or loud music.

Still, for the right couple in the right situation, a cemetery can be a great choice. There’s so much love [there],” according to Laura Lavelle of Oak Hill Cemetery in Washington, D.C. “It can hold sadness and happiness. It can hold grief and joy.”

Possible Preaching Angles:

While this trend may seem unconventional, it offers a unique perspective on the meaning of marriage and the human experience. 1) Marriage; Commitment; Vows - It invites us to consider the deeper significance the sacredness of vows, and the reality that love and commitment persist even in the face of death and sorrow. 2) Remembrance - The Bible often emphasizes the importance of remembering the past and honoring the dead. A cemetery wedding could be a way to honor loved ones who have passed away and to keep their memory alive.

Every real-life love story has a beginning of how they met, but the important part is when you realize that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Gifts and memorable dates are nice, but when you hear about that moment, it's usually when your significant other shows their kindness. These things aren't usually romantic, but it gives you a glimpse into their character.

A question was posed on the subreddit Ask Women: “What's the moment with your partner that confirmed that you're gonna spend your life with them?” These stories will brighten your day, and maybe raise your standards for finding a partner (or appreciating the one you have).

#1: We had just started dating in college and were driving on the interstate when we saw two old ladies and an old man who had run out of gas on the side of the road. My now-husband drove to a gas station, filled up a container and got them back on the road. I didn’t realize until then that the quality I was looking for in a partner was kindness. We’ve been together 50 years.

#2: When he learned my native language to be able to communicate with my parents.

#3: I worked an extremely stressful job. I had what felt like no free time at all and my car needed some things done. I felt so stressed about it. One day he offered to drive me to work and I happily agreed. While I was at work, he changed my taillight, changed the wipers, and detailed the car. I was at a point in my life where multiple compounded stressors made me numb to emotion. I cried when he picked me up in my car, and I saw all the things he'd done. I knew that moment that he was my forever partner.

#4: We had a long distance for most of our relationship. I had a really bad day at work. He called me when I was finished and told me to walk to a place 5 minutes away. I was confused. I went anyway out of curiosity. I called him back and said what am I meant to be looking for? He told me to turn around and he was standing behind me. Unbeknown to me he had spoken to his boss and taken the afternoon off work. He drove three hours just to come and give me a hug. We had dinner together and then he had to drive home. I was so overwhelmed by how thoughtful it was I cried. I knew from that day that I wanted to marry him.

Kalina and Shane Pavlovsky planned a beautiful wedding reception at the Barn at Scappoose Creek, Oregon, but were met with disappointment when, out of the 40 guests who RSVP'd, only five showed up.

Kalina told a reporter, “It was a feeling I can’t even describe, having to hold my smile and walk through … the biggest punch that I’ve ever felt.” Of the 40 guests who’d originally responded in the affirmative, Kalina said she’d made direct contact with at least 25 who promised they would come.

The couple’s disappointing reception entrance was caught on video, so she posted it onto TikTok, where it was viewed over 12 million times with more than 20,000 comments. Kalina says she posted it during a lonely moment, but she was also motivated to show off the venue itself, which was tastefully decorated with white lights and draping sheer fabric. She said, “It was just so beautiful, I thought someone has to see it.”

Pavlovsky expressed her feelings about the moment in her TikTok video post. “It just makes me think, like, why? What did we do? Am I that bad of a person? What did my husband ever do to deserve any of this? Why couldn’t we matter enough for people to show up?”

Despite the disappointment, the couple made the best of the situation, but had to cancel planned events like dances and cutting the cake. Despite the hurt caused by the no-shows, Pavlovsky said she's also been touched by the outpouring of support from strangers who saw her story and felt empathy.

“My hope is that people understand how important it is to show up,” she concluded.

Possible Preaching Angle:

1) Faithfulness of God - Unlike some of our flakier friends, God does not ghost us when we need him most. On the contrary, God shows up when we need him most. 2) Promises – When we make a commitment we should keep it. If we have no intention of keeping the commitment, we should be honest to say so.

The idea that we have the perfect soulmate has proved popular among young adults in the U.S. A 2011 poll found that 73% of Americans believed in a soulmate, the idea that “two people … are destined to be together,” with fully 80% of those under 30 taking this view.

For those seeking a soulmate, what matters is emotional skills and the ability to spark romantic or sexual chemistry. These qualities are supposed to put men and women on the path to what they see as the primary goods of marriage: intimacy, self-expression, and self-fulfillment.

The problem, of course, is that very few couples can maintain this romantic high. Men and women who buy into the soulmate model appear more likely to end up divorced. This was apparent in a survey which asked 918 husbands and wives aged 18 to 50 to describe their approach to marriage and family life. They had to pick whether they saw marriage through the soulmate lens—as “mostly about an intense, emotional/romantic connection”—or through the lens of family—viewing marriage as “about romance but also about kids, money, [and] raising a family together.”

The survey found that husbands and wives who took the soulmate view were markedly more likely to report doubts about the future of their marriage, compared to those who took a family-first view, even after controlling for factors like education, race, gender, and the presence of children.

Likewise, a poll of 2,000 husbands and wives across the U.S., found that those who followed the soulmate model were about twice as likely to report that they were divorcing or were likely to divorce soon, compared to those following the family-first model.

A dramatic change from the trend seen in previous years was marked by the unexpected increase in marriages that the COVID-19 lockdowns brought about. Marital records from 2022 show a significant increase, with the marriage rate reaching 6.2 per capita and over two million marriages in a year.

Marissa Nelson, a registered marriage and family therapist, believes that lockdowns forced couples to face difficulties head-on, resulting in increased intentionality in relationships. She writes, “Being in lockdown together gave many couples a unique hurdle to overcome,” resulting in a better knowledge of critical factors such as finances, compromise, and autonomy.

Divorce rates continued their downward trend from the previous years, even though they had been expected to increase in 2022. While the rate was slightly higher than the previous year at 2.4 per 1,000 individuals, it is still dramatically declining from the 2000 figure of 4 per 1,000.

The hurdles created by lockdowns forced couples to confront underlying concerns, potentially laying the groundwork for stronger relationships. Nelson highlights that being confined together forced couples to tackle relationship issues, which boosted resilience and stability for the future.

Ian Kerner, a registered marriage and family therapist, has noticed a movement in marital paradigms, from “romantic” to “companionate” relationships. Individuals are increasingly prioritizing attributes similar to those seen in best friends, preferring long-term stability and fulfillment to brief excitement.

After the pandemic, marital dynamic changes reflect ideas on commitment, stability, and partnership. While issues remain, trends indicate a greater emphasis on deliberate relationships and long-term compatibility.

Possible Preaching Angle:

There are some good lessons here for couples in the church who are having marital issues and doubts. Don’t give up on your marriage. Investing the time to discuss your issues, perhaps with a counselor involved, can often bring hope and healing to a relationship.

As of 2021, around 25% of 40-year-old Americans are not married—the highest percentage ever recorded. In his book, Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization, Brad Wilcox argues that marriage is more important than ever for individuals and for the country. Based on his research he offers two reasons for the flight from marriage.

First, there’s what he calls the “Midas mind-set,” where too many younger Americans assume that life is about education, money, and especially work. One Pew study found that for Americans in general, 71% thought having a job or career they enjoy is the path toward fulfillment and getting married was the path for only 23%.

Wilcox was talking to a graduate student who had a clear plan for schooling and work, and then Wilcox asked, “What’s your plan about marriage and dating?” And there was silence. The student didn’t have a plan. Wilcox said, “I think that’s part of the challenge — that people are not being intentional enough about seeking opportunities to meet, date, and marry young adults in their world.”

Second, there’s what Wilcox calls the “soul mate myth”—the idea that there’s some perfect person out there waiting for you. Once you find them and love them and then marry them, you’ll have this perfect connection that engenders intense emotional connection, sense of romance, passion that in turn leads you to be happy and fulfilled most of the time. Wilcox argues, “Any kind of serious relationship, including marriage, is going to be at times deeply challenging and hard and require a lot of work.”

Are there wedding bells in your future? If you’re young and in love, the answer is—probably not! A new survey finds that two in five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition.

The survey comes as a recent Pew Research study finds that one in four 40-year-olds in the United States have never walked down the aisle. The U.S. Census Bureau adds that 34% of people 15 years and older have never been married as of 2022. In 1950, that number was only 23%. So, what’s up? Why aren’t young people putting a ring on their serious relationships anymore? The following are the top four reasons:

Unnecessary: A staggering 85% don’t think you need to get married to have a fulfilling and committed relationship.

The Cost: The survey finds that one of the biggest reasons is still the sheer cost of getting married. Nearly 75% of Millennials and Gen Zers say it’s just too expensive to tie the knot in today’s economy.

No Interest: 72% say they just “aren’t interested” in marriage at this time. However, 83% hope they will eventually marry someone “someday.”

Divorce: Perhaps one of the biggest reasons young adults are skipping out on ring shopping is the fear that the marriage won’t last. Almost half of respondents are afraid of getting a divorce.

Nearly two in five young adults (38%) say they feel judged for not being married, with a whopping 69% of women saying their mother judges them the most for staying unmarried. Only 27% of young men say their mom judges them for staying single or not marrying their sweetheart.

Almost 690,000 couples reported getting divorced in 2021, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That’s about half the number of couples who reported getting married. Most couples file for what is called a no-fault divorce, which means you can dissolve your marriage without showing that either party has committed any wrongdoing.

There are a handful of commonly cited factors that couples feel put a strain on their marriage, according to a Forbes Advisor survey. These conflicts include (in ascending order):

#6 – Finances

#5 – Relationships with Friends

#4 – Relationships with Family

#3 – Division of Household Labor

#2 – Parenting differences

The biggest conflict divorced couples encountered, with 46% naming it:

#1 – Career choices

Only 5% of divorcees say there was no way their marriage could have been saved, the survey says. A whopping 63% said that having a better understanding of commitment prior to marrying could have helped them avoid divorce. And 54% said that if they had a better understanding of their spouse’s morals and values prior to getting married, they might still be together.

Editor’s Note: The Forbes Advisor survey is well worth looking at for its wide-ranging statistics on the state of marriage and divorce in 2023. You can access the results of this survey here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is important to keep in mind that this survey was taken of society as a whole. With proper guidance through premarital counseling and personal growth toward spiritual maturity, a believing couple would be much more likely to establish a solid marriage for life.

Forbes Advisor commissioned a survey of 1,000 Americans who are divorced or who are in the process of divorcing to discover why marriages fail. A total of 689,308 divorces occurred in 2021 and approximately half of all first marriages end in divorce with subsequent marriages failing at higher rates.

To understand the causes of divorce, it’s helpful to understand the reasons people marry:

• 42% - Financial security
• 39% - Companionship
• 36% - Love
• 34% - To start a family
• 28% - Convenience
• 25% - Medical Insurance
• 07% - Societal and family pressures

Only five percent of divorcees say there was no way their marriage could have been saved, the survey says. A whopping 63% said that having a better understanding of commitment prior to marrying could have helped them avoid divorce.

You can access the entire detailed survey here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is important to keep in mind that this survey was taken of society as a whole. With proper guidance in premarital counseling and personal growth toward spiritual maturity a believing couple would be much more likely to establish a solid marriage for life upon the proper foundations.

A total of 689,308 divorces occurred in 2021. That’s about half the number of couples who reported getting married, with subsequent marriages failing at higher rates. Understanding why marriages fail can help you to make your own union stronger if you are married. It can also guide you in making choices about entering into a marriage and it can help you support the married couples in your life.

Forbes Advisor commissioned a survey of 1,000 Americans who are divorced or who are in the process of divorcing to discover why marriages fail. Based on this data, here are some of the most likely reasons marriages come to an end.

• 43% - Lack of family support
• 34% - Infidelity
• 31% - Lack of intimacy
• 31% - Too much conflict/arguing
• 24% - Financial stress
• 20% - Parenting differences
• 10% - Marrying too young

Key Facts About Divorce

• The majority of divorces are initiated by only one party, with only 27% of respondents indicating the decision to end the marriage was mutual.
• Just 4% of couples divorce after 10 years of marriage.
• 63% of divorcees believe a better understanding of the commitments of marriage could have helped them to avoid divorce
• Only 5% of divorcees say there was no way their marriage could have been saved, the survey says.

You can access all the results of this survey here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is important to keep in mind that this survey was taken of society as a whole. With proper guidance in premarital counseling and personal growth toward spiritual maturity a believing couple would be much more likely to establish a solid marriage for life. Remember, 63% said a better understanding of commitment prior to marrying could have stopped their union from collapsing.

A beautiful wedding does not a wonderful marriage make. We know that and yet many couples get drawn into the business of weddings and the price tag can create a burden and stress for years. According to The Knot, the average cost of a wedding in 2022 was $30,000, including the ceremony and reception.

Just for reference, warehouse workers, nursing assistants and shuttle drivers make less than $36,000 a year on average. You also could buy a new car for $30,000 or pay for the cost of tuition, housing, and meal plan at a major university for the same price. There is also a massive cost burden for attendees. According to The Balance it costs individual members of a bridal party more than $700 to attend a wedding, including travel, accommodations, and clothing.

But, hey, you can always read up on the dozens of articles highlighting how to save money when planning a wedding … such as “open a new savings account earmarked just for the wedding.” Is that what we have allowed the industry to push us toward? Opening a new savings account just to finance a wedding?

Possible Preaching Angle:

Maybe it is time for us all to rethink our cultural obsession with elaborate weddings – and the staggering financial behemoth it has created.

Research professor Scott Stanley at the University of Denver writes:

A substantial number of practicing Christians believe that living together before marriage is a good idea—at least 41%, by one estimate. Although far more nonreligious people believe the same thing (88%), 41% is not a small group, and it’s likely growing over time.

A recent report from the Institute for Family Studies surveyed people who married for the first time in the years 2010 to 2019. We found conclusions similar to those of past studies: Patterns of cohabitation before marriage remain associated with higher odds of divorce.

What people often miss is the inertia that comes with moving in together. In essence, cohabiting couples are making it harder to break up before nailing down their commitments. Many of them get stuck in a relationship they might otherwise have moved on from.

Consistent with our theory of inertia, we find that couples who moved in together before engagement were 48% more likely to end their marriages than those who cohabited only after getting wed or at least engaged. We also show that moving in together for “relationship testing” or financial convenience is associated with higher risks for divorce.

Possible Preaching Angle:

In light of this research, Christians contemplating marriage may wonder what they can do to improve their odds of staying married. Scott Stanley suggests four principles: 1. Don’t believe the hype that living together is good for your relationship. 2. Slow down. Two people need time to learn more about each other 3. Don’t move in together to test the relationship. 4. Participate in premarital training or counseling.

New York Times columnist David Brooks writes:

When I’m around young adults I like to ask them how they are thinking about the big commitments in their lives: what career to go into, where to live, whom to marry. Most of them have thought a lot about their career plans. But my impression is that many have not thought a lot about how marriage will fit into their lives.

The common operating assumption seems to be that professional life is at the core of life and that marriage would be something nice to add on top sometime down the road. It’s not that people are against marriage. Today, as in the past, a vast majority of Americans would like to tie the knot someday. It’s just that it’s not exactly top of mind.

Partly as a result of these attitudes, there is less marriage in America today. The marriage rate is close to the lowest level in American history. For example, in 1980, only 6% of 40-year-olds had never been married. As of 2021, 25% of 40-year-olds have never been married.

As Brad Wilcox writes in his vitally important book, Get Married:

Marital quality is, far and away, the top predictor I have run across of life satisfaction in America. Specifically, the odds that men and women say they are “very happy” with their lives are a staggering 545% higher for those who are very happily married, compared to peers who are not married or who are less than very happy in their marriages.

When it comes to predicting overall happiness, a good marriage is far more important than how much education you get, how much money you make, how often you have sex, and, yes, even how satisfied you are with your work.

Christian writer and pastor Sam Allberry tells the story of a friend who has a very bizarre spoon in his sugar bowl. It is a bit larger than a teaspoon, but it has a big hole in the middle, so it is unable to carry sugar, salt, cocoa, or pretty much anything for which you would need a teaspoon.

When he has people round, he enjoys watching them try to work out how to use it, and whether they are doing something wrong. Eventually he reveals that it’s an olive spoon, and that it is meant to have a hole in it so that you can drain the liquid as you lift the olive to your mouth.

Allberry relates this story to our sexuality. “You can’t make sense of the way the spoon is without understanding what it’s for.” And then comes the punchline: “It is true of my friend’s olive spoon and it is true of our sexuality.” In other words, you can’t understand God’s biblical commandments for sex until you know God’s design for sex.

A couple's destination wedding was almost in jeopardy when their dog, Chickie, chewed up the groom's passport just days before the wedding. Donato Frattaroli and Magda Mazri connected five years prior when Magda worked at Donato’s restaurant. After three years of friendship, the couple began dating, and eventually began to plan their dream wedding at a destination in Italy, where they both have family and friends.

After eighteen months of planning and preparation, it seemed like everything was set. But just days before departure, Chickie ruined everything by chewing up Donato’s passport.

“It’s hard to describe," said Donato when he first saw the damaged passport. "It’s not like all the joy left me, but it was definitely panic.” Magda laughs when remembering the incident, because she had to act quickly to ensure their plans would stay intact. She says Donato is usually the calm one, but on that day she was able to put into practice everything she’d learned from their relationship, and quickly took charge.

They explored the possibility of obtaining a same-day passport, but the availability of appointments proved to be a major hurdle. They were willing to travel anywhere in the country to secure a passport, but with the help of local officials, managed to secure an appointment in their hometown of Boston several days later.

Reflecting on the passport ordeal, the couple found perspective during a complicated journey home after their honeymoon in France. They encountered missed flights, cancellations, and a challenging return to Boston via Amtrak. Through these trials, they learned to adapt and pivot, a valuable lesson for their journey together as a married couple.

Possible Preaching Angle:

When mishaps occur, accidents take place, or circumstances turn tragic, God is capable of supernaturally transforming our tragedies into triumph--and even if they don't work out the way we want, God will always remain with us.

In his book, Beautiful People Don’t Just Happen, Pastor Scott Sauls writes:

During rehearsal, I always warn bridesmaids to keep their knees slightly bent while standing during the ceremony. The combination of high heels and locked knees limits oxygen flow to the brain, which dramatically increases the possibility of fainting. Over the years, five bridesmaids have forgotten my instructions and fainted.

Thankfully, I did not need to be the first responder in any of these fainting incidents. Each time, medical professionals have left their seats and rush toward the fallen bridesmaid to tend to her. Each time, they successfully resuscitated her, enabling us to finish the ceremony with the bridesmaid restored to her honored place, but now with her knees dutifully and carefully bent. At the end of the ceremony, when the last hymn is played and the bride and groom walk the aisle together, the bridesmaid sings. No longer falling on the ground, she is also able to join the bride, groom, and guests for the dancing and feasting.

God’s response to our sin is not unlike that of a medical professional to a fallen bridesmaid. Not only is it within his ability to awaken and restore us to our honored place, not only is it within his ability to put a new song in our mouths, it is also within his very nature to do so. With resolve, he gets out of his seat and tends to us on the ground where we have fallen. He breathes life into us as he tends to us in our weakest, most humiliating, and most vulnerable places. He lifts us up off the ground and invites us to sing of his love, and take our honored seat at the marriage feast.

In the fall of 1937, Ed Keefer was a senior in the school of engineering at the University of Toledo in Ohio. Tall, slender, and bespectacled, Keefer was the president of the calculus club, the vice-president of the engineering club, and a member of the school’s exclusive all-male honor society. He also invented the Cupidoscope.

The electrical device could not have been more perfectly designed to bring campus-wide fame to its creators, Keefer and his less sociable classmate John Hawley. It promised to reveal, with scientific precision, if a couple was truly in love. As the inventors explained to a United Press reporter as news of their innovation spread, the Cupidoscope delivered on its promise “in terms called ‘amorcycles,’ the affection that the college girl has for her boyfriend.”

Built in the school’s physics laboratory, the Cupidoscope was fashioned from an old radio cabinet, a motor spark coil, and an electrical resistor. To test their bond, a man and a woman would grip electrodes on either side of the Cupidoscope and move them toward one another until the woman felt a spark—not of attraction, but of electricity. The higher her tolerance for this mild current, the more of a love signal the meter registered. A needle decorated with hearts purported to show her devotion on a scale that ranged from “No hope” to “See preacher!”

It all sounds like a slightly painful party game—but the Cupidoscope was one experiment in a serious, decades-long quest to quantify love. This undertaking garnered the attention of leading scientists across the United States and in Europe in the early years of the 20th century, and it is memorialized most prominently in the penny arcade mainstay known as the Love Tester.

Possible Preaching Angle:

“How do you measure love?” The Bible gives an answer to this important question: It is measured by the self-sacrifice of the Cross—“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:16); “Then you, being rooted and grounded in love, will have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge” (Eph. 3:17-19).