Women

The US is battling an epidemic of sad, anxious young women. Despite the surge in women’s opportunities and freedoms over the past 50 years, it appears they are more depressed than ever. According to Harvard University research, this is particularly apparent in the 18-25 age group, 41% of which are said to suffer anxiety. In addition, the number of women reporting depression increased from 26% in 2017 to over 36% in 2023, according to a Gallup poll.

Dr. Wendy Wang at The Institute for Family Studies, says, “With 20 years under my belt as a sociologist…I believe I have stumbled on one possible explanation for this sea of sadness. It might appear a controversial take: too few women are getting married.”

According to US census data, only 47% of women ages 18 to 55 were married in the US in 2022, compared to 72% in 1970.

Despite the scientific data, social media is doing its part to malign marriage. On TikTok, videos that jokingly depict marriage as a fast route to domestic chores like washing dishes, caring for a newborn baby, and cleaning the house, go viral. As a result, only 24% of women under 30 believe that women who get married and have kids live fuller and happier lives than those who don’t.

But the uncomfortable truth is women who aren't married are worse off, health-wise, compared to their married counterparts. Proven scientific studies have shown that married women are less likely to die from heart disease and have longer lifespans than non-married women.

Marriage is not a cure-it-all magic wand, but the data tell us that the average American woman who is married with children is markedly less lonely and living a more meaningful and joyful life. Surveys show that 40% of married mothers aged under 55 reported that they were 'very happy' with their lives, compared with 22% of single, childfree women.

Admittedly, taking care of children is an exhausting job. But extensive research has shown that the rewards outweigh the negatives.

Editor’s Note: When using this illustration, let’s be mindful of the single women who long to be married, but are not yet, and the wives who would love to have children but have not been able to conceive, and those who have lost children through miscarriage.

A Glamour magazinevideo asked a number of girls and women on advice they would want from an older person in their life. Here are some of the questions these young women asked:

How do you become who you are today?

What should I not stress about at 14-years-old?

What is the best way to make a decision?

Looking back on your life what did you find most valuable?

What do you do when you realize that your dreams are not actually going to happen?

How do you manage having kids, being married, and having a career?

What is the secret to living a happy life?

Is having children really worth it?

(What are the) secrets to a long and happy marriage?

You can watch the entire 2:30 minute video here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is important for mature women to be accessible to answer questions and serve as role models to the young women in our churches. “Older women, likewise, are to be …. teachers of good. In this way they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and submissive to their own husbands …” (Titus 2:3-5).

When it comes to countering negative messages about women from social media influencers like former kickboxer Andrew Tate, young men are tapping into underutilized resource--each other.

In an interview with CNN, Ted Bunch affirms that relational conversations are key elements that help neutralize harmful messages linking masculinity with violence. Bunch is the founder of the anti-violence organization A Call to Men.

Bunch says, “(Misogyny) teaches men that aggression, violence, and the domination of others is somehow embedded in their DNA. It’s not. ... Part of the problem is, these men don’t listen to or respect the experiences of women. But they listen to each other. If men speak up, other men will respond to that.”

Bunch also acknowledges that positive messages from influential male celebrities also helps make a difference, citing helpful comments and campaigns from actors Benedict Cumberbatch (equal pay for women) and Justin Baldoni (healthy fatherhood).

“There are more and more men doing this, because men are realizing this way of thinking doesn’t work for us,” Bunch says. “It doesn’t feel good.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

As Christians we are called to treat each other with respect and kindness. When men in our community fall short of that standard, we can help call them to a higher standard.

A study published in June of 2022, estimates that nearly 1.64 million people over the age of 13 in the United States identify themselves as transgender, based on an analysis of newly expanded federal health surveys.

The study estimates that about 0.5% of all US adults, (1.3 million people), and about 1.4%, of youth between 13- and 17-years-old (300,000 people), identify as transgender (having a different gender identity than the sex they were assigned at birth).

On “Transgender Day of Visibility” in March, two Biden administration agencies released guidance promoting “gender-affirming” health care for minors. This includes puberty blockers, hormone therapy treatments, and sex reassignment surgery.

One document released by the Health and Human Services’ Office of Population Affairs claimed that “gender-affirming care is crucial to overall health and well-being” for children and adolescents.

A parallel document released by the Administration’s National Child Traumatic Stress Network claimed that providing “gender-affirming” treatment to kids is “neither child maltreatment nor malpractice.”

The executive summary from the study says that there are more "transgender women" than "transgender men."

Of the 1.3 million adults who identify as transgender, 38.5% (515,200) are transgender women, 35.9% (480,000) are transgender men, and 25.6% (341,800) reported they are gender nonconforming.

Research shows transgender individuals are younger on average than the U.S. population. Ages 13 to 17 are more likely to identify as transgender (1.4%) than adults ages 65 or older (0.3%).

Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and other social media sites have recently begun offering high-tech filters. With a few simple clicks these filters will beautify the appearance of teenage girls and young women in their social media profiles. The filters have exploded in popularity as millions of users now get “model-esque looks by sharpening, shrinking, enhancing, and recoloring their faces and bodies.” Researchers have named it “augmented reality” (AR) and are concerned that these girls “are subjects in an experiment that will show how the technology changes the way we form our identities, represent ourselves, and relate to others. And it’s all happening without much oversight.”

Both Facebook and Instagram claim that over 600 million people have used the beautifiers. Facebook reports that about 10,000 employees are working on AR and virtual reality products. More than 400,000 third-party creators have produced a total of over 1.2 million effects on Facebook alone.

Girls say an “Instagram Face” is a “small nose, big eyes, clear skin, and big lips.” Researchers are concerned that many young girls express an interest in real-life plastic surgery to obtain a look similar to their online image. Krista Crotty, a specialist on eating disorders and mental health, sees that a sense of anxiety develops when girls live with the incongruity of their online and in-person selves.

Preteens are also being affected. Claire Pescott, a researcher on preteens and social media, reports that young girls say things like “I put this filter on because I have flawless skin. It takes away my scars and spots.” She is concerned that for young people trying to figure out who they are, it can be harmful: “I don’t think it’s just filtering your actual image. It’s filtering your whole life.”

Keira Bell was fourteen when she first began identifying as a boy. Two years later, she was prescribed puberty blockers and testosterone. At twenty, she underwent a double-mastectomy to remove both breasts. Now, at 23, she identifies again with her biological sex and recently won a lawsuit against the doctors who allowed her to go down this path at such a young age.

At the time, Keira believed that these treatments would help her “achieve happiness.” She said, “I was stuck in severe depression and anxiety. I felt extremely out of place in the world. I was really struggling with puberty and my sexuality and I had no one to talk these things through with.”

When she sought medical help, she was given the impression that the doctors and therapists would be neutral, but that wasn’t the case. “Once I arrived [at the gender identity clinic], I was not challenged in any sense and I was affirmed [as a boy] from the beginning.”

“When I was questioning my identity there was nowhere to find support that didn’t affirm the delusion of being in the ‘wrong body.’ No organizations existed that might be able to tell me that it was okay to be a girl who didn’t like stereotypically ‘girly’ things, and that I was no less female because I am same-sex attracted.”

Keira began questioning the ideology behind her transition when she found herself upset about the case of Rachel Dolezal, a white college professor who identified as black.

“I couldn’t come up with a reason why being transgender was ‘more valid’ than transracial. It was the start of a slow wake-up call. … I had finished my physical transition and my health was beginning to decline. It was at that point I realized I didn’t want to live a lie and that it was really important to be myself.”

Keira looks back on her transition with sadness. Her treatments have left her with permanent facial hair and a lower voice. “There was nothing wrong with my body, I was just lost and without proper support. I should have been challenged on the proposals or the claims that I was making for myself. And I think that would have made a big difference as well. If I was just challenged on the things I was saying."

In December 2020, a British court ruled in Keira Bell’s favor that teenagers under 16 are unable to give informed consent about puberty-blockers, and that it may be necessary even for older teenagers to require the court’s decision in prescribing these treatments.

In her book Confronting Christianity, Rebecca McLaughlin writes about her struggles with the concept of submitting to her husband (as found in Ephesians 5:22):

I came from an academically driven, equality-oriented, all-female high school. I was now studying in a majority-male college. And I was repulsed … I had three problems with this passage. The first was that wives should submit. I knew women were just as competent as men. My second problem was with the idea that wives should submit to their husbands as to the Lord. It is one thing to submit to Jesus Christ, the self-sacrificing King of the universe. It is quite another to offer that kind of submission to a fallible, sinful man. My third problem was the idea that the husband was the “head” of the wife. This seemed to imply a hierarchy at odds with men and women’s equal status as image bearers of God.

At first, I tried to explain the shock away … But when I trained my lens on the command to husbands, the Ephesians passage came into focus … When I realized the lens for this teaching was the lens of the gospel itself, it started making sense. If the message of Jesus is true, no one comes to the table with rights. The only way to enter is flat on your face. Male or female, if we grasp at our right to self-determination, we must reject Jesus, because he calls us to submit to him completely.

Ephesians 5 used to repulse me. Now it convicts me and calls me toward Jesus: the true husband who satisfies my needs, the one man who truly deserves my submission.

I have been married for a decade, and I am not naturally submissive. I am naturally leadership-oriented. I hold a PhD and a seminary degree, and I am the trained debater of the family. Thank God, I married a man who celebrates this! Yet it is a daily challenge to remember my role in this drama and notice opportunities to submit to my husband as to the Lord, not because I am naturally more or less submissive or because he is more or less naturally loving, but because Jesus went to the cross for me.

Christopher Hitchens, a devout man of the Left, and an outspoken atheist, must be pro-abortion, must fight for abortion just as he fights for all the other requisite social causes.

We don't know how Hitchens kept his two books, but there is no doubt he kept this lesson in his heart, just as there is no doubt he spent all his time around those who considered abortion a right, and hence were without any moral reservation about it. Christopher kept his very personal ledger on abortion closed to public view until rather late in his life. When, much to everyone's surprise … he stood up on the same moral side as the very religion, Christianity, he had made so lucrative a career in condemning.

He stated that, “I agree with this view for materialist reasons. It seems to me obvious from the discoveries of biology and embryology that the concept 'unborn child' is a real one. ... And it has to be granted to the Church that it has made this a centerpiece of its ethic and its morality.”

A study in the British Journal of Psychiatry reviewed data from 22 published studies and found a link between abortion and mental health difficulties. The meta-analysis of studies looked at 877,181 participants, of whom 163,831 had undergone an abortion. The study reported, “Women who had undergone an abortion experienced an 81 percent increased risk of mental health problems.”

The study found increased risks of the following separate mental health effects for women who had abortions:

-anxiety disorders (34 percent)

-depression (37 percent)

-alcohol use/abuse (110 percent)

-marijuana use/abuse (220 percent)

-suicide behaviors (155 percent)

In addition, post-abortion effects researcher Dr. David Reardon reports that at least 21 studies show a link between abortion and substance abuse. A study from Reardon’s Elliot Institute found that women having abortions were 160 percent more likely to seek psychiatric care in the 90 days afterwards than were women who had delivered their children. The study also found that the frequency of psychiatric treatment was significantly higher for at least four years following abortion.

The famous 20th century British writer Malcolm Muggeridge once noted that in modern times, with family-planning clinics offering ways to correct "mistakes" that might disgrace a family name:

It is … extremely improbable … that Jesus would have been permitted to be born at all. Mary's pregnancy, in poor circumstances, and with the father unknown, would have been an obvious case for an abortion. Her talk of having conceived as a result of the intervention of the Holy Ghost would have pointed to the need for psychiatric treatment, and made the case for terminating her pregnancy even stronger. Thus our generation, needing a Savior more, perhaps, than any that has ever existed, would be too humane to allow one to be born.

Psychologist David P. Schmitt has completed the most exhaustive cross-cultural research study on gender and personality. Writing in an issue of Psychology Today, Schmitt goes against the theory that men and women are basically the same.

Schmitt contends that research from neuroscience, genetics, cross-cultural psychology, and other scientific fields is conclusive and overwhelming: “There are psychological differences between men and women. And they affect matters as trivial as sensitivity to smelly socks and as significant as susceptibility to disorders such as depression and autism.”

Meta-analysis of research has found women to be more empathic, while men are more prone to sexual jealousy. Men “tend to be better able to rotate a dimensional object in their mind and to recognize, say, an upside-down character. Whereas women excel at locating an object in a visual field and remembering exactly where Big Ben is on a map of London.” Men and women are different--from puberty, size, strength, risk-taking, mortality, and reproduction.

Schmitt laments that just as all the evidence is mounting, “denial of differences has become rampant. Attempts at respectful and productive conversations about biological sex differences often end with name-calling (genetic determinist!) or outright cancellation of events.”

In Ubang, southern Nigeria, men and women speak different languages. They view this unique difference as “a blessing from God.” Dressed in a brightly colored traditional outfit, Chief Oliver Ibang calls over his two young children, eager to demonstrate the different languages.

He holds up a yam and asks his daughter what it is called. "It's 'irui'," she says, without hesitating. But in Ubang's "male language" the word for yam, one of Nigeria's staple foods, is "itong." And there are many other examples, such as the word for clothing, which is "nki" for men and "ariga" for women.

"It's almost like two different lexicons," says anthropologist Chi Chi Undie. "There are a lot of words that men and women share in common, then there are others which are totally different depending on your sex. They don't sound alike, they don't have the same letters, they are completely different words."

However, both men and women are able to understand each other perfectly--or as well as anywhere else in the world. This might be partly because boys grow up speaking the female language, as they spend most of their childhoods with their mothers. But by the age of 10, boys are expected to speak the “male language” as evidence of entry into manhood.

Chi-Chi Unde explains: “Men and women operate in almost two separate spheres. It's like they're in separate worlds, but sometimes those worlds come together and you see that pattern in the language as well.”

Possible Preaching Angles: Communication; Gender Differences; Human Nature; Marriage – 1) There is a mysterious and delightful difference between men and women which God intends for us to recognize and enjoy (Genesis 2:20-25); 2) Wouldn’t it be great if you really knew your spouse’s emotional language and used it to communicate fluently with him or her? 3) In our society, there is an increased blurring of gender differences between male and female. But as this small community illustrates there are natural differences that are instinctively known (Romans 1:18-27).

One of the main tenets of transgenderism is that gender is merely a social construct, not a biological reality. It follows that a person born a woman can actually become male or vice versa with little pushback or fanfare. Though it focuses mainly on child’s play, new research debunks the idea that there are not gender differences. It might also debunk some of these ideas surrounding transgender transitions.

A study published in the Infant and Child Development Journal November 2017 issue, examined a meta-analysis of research that reviewed 16 different studies on the topic of gender differences of about 1,600 children altogether, and found that innate biology seems to influence boys’ and girls’ toy choices. What’s more, this seemed to span across all countries, whether high or low on the “Gender Inequality Index.”

The article concludes: This study shows what many parents already know: Boys and girls have innate differences and any “social construct” surrounding gender is due to those preferences, not the other way around. To take this a step further, this doesn’t mean men and women don’t struggle with their biological gender—dysphoria is very real—but it doesn’t mean transitioning is healthy or the most helpful reaction to that, or that we should indulge personal claims of gender fluidity.

Has your working day become one long battle to wade through a to-do list? An article on BBC.com noted the multiple distractions of the modern world—digital overload, open offices and constant interruptions, to name a few—that can make it near impossible to achieve your goals, or even get anything done at all.

The article argued that we should start thinking more about what we shouldn't be doing. That's one of the strategies employed by Canadian businessman Andrew Wilkinson, who has come up with a list of "anti-goals." Wilkinson noticed his day was filled with things he didn't want to do. He was feeling stretched, doing business with people he didn't like, with a schedule dictated by others, he wrote in his blog.

So he adopted a strategy from an investment expert called "inversion," which means looking at problems in reverse, focusing on minimizing the negatives instead of maximizing the positives. To put it in practice, Wilkinson came up with his worst possible workday: one filled with long meetings at the office, a packed schedule dealing with people he didn't like or trust. Then he came up with his list of "anti-goals," which includes no morning meetings, no more than two hours of scheduled time per day, and no dealings with people he doesn't like.

These "anti-goals" have made his life "immeasurably better" he said. Focusing on the negative helps us reflect on and cut out activities that don't align with our broader goals. It's about prioritizing that which is important.

Possible Preaching Angles: 1) Leaders; Pastors - We should avoid spending the prime time of the day checking email, handling administrative details, and updating social media. Put these items on your 'not-to-do' right now list. 2) Believers; Christians - The Internet, television, and video gaming do provide needed relaxation but they should be on our 'not-to-do' list until we give priority to God's Word and prayer each day.

In his book Transgender, author/pastor Vaughn Roberts draws on a distinction made by John Wyatt between the "Lego kit" view of the human body and the "art restoration" view of the human body. According to the "Lego kit" view, if we have just emerged from the primeval slime by chance, then there is no design whatsoever in how we happen to be. The structure of the human body is value free, so if you want to change your sex, that's fine.

The "art restoration view" acknowledges that we are not machines; we are flawed masterpieces. If you see a work of art and you're asked to restore it, you don't look at it and say, "Well, I think he would look much nicer with a pair of spectacles." Or, "This scene would look better with a car instead of a hay cart." To do that is to break the code of the art restorer. Art restorers respect the work, and know that their job is to bring out the artist's original intention. They work at cleaning and restoring the vivid colors. They study the work and the painter so they can carefully get it back to what it once was. They work so that people can see the original in all its glory.

Roberts' states further, "The aim is to restore the Creator's intention: but we are not to try to change it. And that will certainly mean accepting the sex that he has given us.

In 2013 Sheryl Sandberg, a Harvard Business School grad, a former assistant to the Secretary of the Treasury, and Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, wrote her bestseller, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. During her years in government and the marketplace, Sandberg discovered that all too often women hold themselves back; they stifle their dreams, their ambitions, their careers, and even their personal lives. So she called women "lean in" to their ambitions, their dreams, and their talents.

As you might expect, her book stirred some controversy. An equally accomplished woman named Rosa Brooks, a professor at Georgetown Law, then argued that the problem isn't with women but with society, which continues to expect women to bear the brunt of household responsibilities and child rearing even as they pursue their careers and dreams. Her advice was for women to "lean back," and put their feet up! She says women need to resist these unreasonable expectations in the workplace and the home by refusing to just "work harder." "Women of the world," she says, "Recline!"

Whatever direction you're inclined to lean, Sheryl Sandberg was on to something. She tapped into a deep-seated tension many women feel when it comes to juggling work, home, and personal life. They just don't know how to do it all. Now along comes the church telling them on top of all that to "live on mission"—to do their part to save the world and restore this fallen planet.

Lean in. Lean back. Live on mission. It's enough to make a person want to "lay down" and give up! No wonder the average woman and mother in America today feels exhausted.

On May 13, 1965, Housekeeping Monthly offered the following advice to women in what they called "The Good Wife's Guide":

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious dinner ready when your husband gets home from work. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned with his needs … Prepare yourself. Put on some make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh-looking. He's been with a lot of work-weary people. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash them up, brush their hair, and change their clothes if needed. Remember, they are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part … Have a cool or warm drink for him, and arrange his pillow and take off his shoes … Over the cooler months you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. After all, catering to his comfort will bring you immense satisfaction … Let him talk first. Remember that his topics of conversation are more important than yours … Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to relax.

Possible Preaching Angles: Bryan Wilkerson comments, "Obviously, times have changed. The irony is that there really is some wisdom here—it's just buried under layers of stereotype and patriarchy. There really is something good and noble about doing these simple, everyday tasks for another person. It's just that it was never meant to flow just one way—from wife to husband, or from woman to man. In the New Testament, Paul tells us all to serve one another, to defer to one another, to submit to one another. He tells husbands to love their wives, to care for their wives as they care for themselves, and to lay down their lives for their wives."