Opening the Adoption Files
Kenneth ChanVineyard pastor Alex Van Riesen, adopted at birth, wishes he'd known his birth parents better. So he and his wife, Susan (right), allow their adopted daughter, Hope (left), regular contact with her birth mother.
When Hope Van Riesen turns 7 years old on November 1, she will celebrate with her adoptive parents and siblings in Palo Alto, California. That week, Hope will also see her birth mother, Miranda Wang.
With help from Bethany Christian Services, Wang arranged an agreement with Alex and Susan Van Riesen during her pregnancy that enables her to maintain a presence in Hope's life. Seeing Wang three or four times annually assures Hope that her birth mother loves her, say the Van Riesens.
A recent report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, which studied 4,400 recent adoptions from 100 agencies, estimates that more than half (55 percent) of U.S. infant adoptions are now open or "fully disclosed," involving ongoing, direct contact between birth parent and adoptive family. Only 5 percent remain "closed" or confidential.
"Openness in adoption is fast becoming the norm within the United States," noted the report.
Most adoptions became closed after the 1930s. Carol Demuth, a supervisor with Dallas-based Buckner International, attributes this to a desire to protect out-of-wedlock children from societal scrutiny.
But this admirable goal had unintended consequences.
"People were still returning to agencies and had questions about their birth family and why the adoption took place," she said, speaking from firsthand experience. Although grateful her single, 17-year-old mother placed her for adoption, Demuth said the forced separation left her with many questions.
Buckner migrated to open adoptions in 1995 after a decade-long transition.
"We see it as a good thing," said Bethany president Bill Blacquiere. About two-thirds of the agency's adoptions are now open, and the rest have mediated contact via photos, text messages, or Facebook posts.
However, open adoptions have their challenges. Sometimes one party violates the terms of pre-birth agreements, or both parties struggle to negotiate frequency and type of contact. Differing socio-economic standards, lifestyles, and values can cause conflict. Sometimes a birth mother seeks financial help, further straining relations.
"That's why it helps to have an agency involved," Demuth said.
Christian families tend to embrace open adoption more, said Demuth, who has worked for both faith-based and secular agencies. They are more open to viewing parenting as stewardship, showing hospitality to strangers, and trusting God to work out the challenges involved, she said. "[They] see that both [sets of] parents are part of God's plan for a child's life."
Together for Adoption executive Jason Cornwell sees the trend as good for children since it helps remove the stigma often associated with adoption. Benefits include children's awareness of their background, medical history, and reasons for their adoption—which helps prevent feelings of rejection.
"The child is only going to feel as good about their birth parents as their [adoptive] parents do," he said.
Phillip Wurster, director of Spirit of Faith Adoptions, also sees this as positive for birth mothers.
"In the past, the last thing [a mother] would see was that infant leaving her arms," he said. "She'd have no clue as to what happened to that child. That wasn't very healthful."
However, seminary professor Russell Moore—who, in the process of adopting two sons, became a leading evangelical advocate for adoption—said most people have little choice in "open or closed" questions. "In some cases, particularly international adoptions, the situation is by necessity closed because the birth parents cannot be found."
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Addison Cooper
Good article! I've been an adoption social worker for the past six years, and have trained incoming foster and adoptive parents on openness. I've worked with an agency with Christian roots, and a large proportion of Christian families. In this article, Carol Demuth is quoted as saying that Christian families are more open to openness; I'd add to that by saying that the Christian families that are most open to openness are those families for whom "ministry" is one of the factors is drawing them to adoption. A quote in the article from Jason Cornwell is great: "The child is only going to feel as good about their birth parents as their adoptive parents do." - if adopting parents (or foster parents) are scared of the birth family, the child will naturally learn to be scared as well. Kathi expressed concern in her comment, and it raises a good point: No one solution is right for every situation. This might help: http://www.adoptionlcsw.com/2012/10/open-discussion-about-openness-i n.html
Sandy Blais
Dear Mr. Chip Watkins, Repeating what an agency told you "that promises were made to your birth parents" does not make it a fact. A fact must have proof. No agency has been able to provide that proof to the legislators that even they made promises, or that the actual law provided for it. I have my court surrender document and no promise or right to privacy is made to my mother - only that her right to me was severed. That statement also contains a second fallacy - up until the mid 70's unwed fathers had no rights. The adoption laws were specific in that fact, and went into great detail regarding an unwed father having no right to notice or to consent or contest. Again, no promise could ever have been made to him by law because he had no rights to begin with. Nor can you have any knowledge of what mothers felt was the right choice, and I would urge you to learn adoption history instead of just repeating what your agency told you. By the way - I have four "Real" parents.
Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy
Dear Chip, Please know that this statement is 100% incorrect: "For children adopted in "closed" adoptions, it's important to remember that promises were made to your birth parents. If they were promised the records would be kept closed, that promise should be kept." Mothers who relinquished could not have been promised anything of the sort by the state governments at any time at all because there was no confidentiality to give. The birth certificate is a matter of public records until the adoption is finalized. That can take months and until that time, the birth certificate clearly stating all original names is at the country clerk's office. If the child never was adopted, the record would continue to be open forever. Birthparents have no rights after signing the relinquishment papers. No confidentiality. Period. Support Adoptee Rights to their restored Original Birth Certificates! Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy birthmother 1987 http://www.musingsofthelame.com