Simply put, men just need someone to encourage them. They have to be strong—we expect them to be strong—but how can they be when we don't give them any support? There is clear biblical tradition for sorrow and lament as a collective. The Gospel of John tells us that Jesus came to raise Lazarus, and many had gathered for Mary and Martha to console them.
Paul address collective sorrow in the church in the first chapter of 2 Corinthians, praising God who "comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction."
I don't know what the solution for all this will be. But the church needs to create an atmosphere in which these men can talk. Sometimes, maybe talking will be all it takes.
Patrick Stafford is an Australian journalist who writes about art, entertainment, and spirituality. He tweets @pdstafford.