Skills

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Pastoring the Victims of #MeToo

Four steps your church can take to minister well
Pastoring the Victims of #MeToo
Image: David McNew/Getty Images

In the 24 hours after #MeToo first appeared on Twitter, more than 4.7 million women (and some men) engaged with the thread. Many were admitting for the first time that they had been victims of rape, sexual abuse, or sexual harassment. Any of these individuals who desire healing and closure will need infinitely more than what the camaraderie of a trending hashtag can provide. ...

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Getting Past the Lie of Rejection

Five steps you can take to get back on track.
Getting Past the Lie of Rejection
Image: Lightstock

“We feel like the Holy Spirit is calling you elsewhere.”

Each word pierced me like a dagger to my soul. After pouring hours, sweat, tears, and passion into a church I loved, the leadership decided I was not enough. I was not enough. Those four words penetrated my mind and colluded to form a lie that began to shade how I viewed all other circumstances. The feeling ...

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Comparison Is Stealing Your Joy

Five practical tips to fight back
Comparison Is Stealing Your Joy
Image: Lightstock

There are so many cautionary tales in the Bible about comparison—beginning with the very beginning. The serpent in the garden suggests to Eve that she compare herself to God. If only she will eat fruit from this one tree, it tells her, she could be like God in her knowledge of good and evil. The stories of Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, Saul ...

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Unresolved Relationship Issues

Recognizing, addressing, and helping others deal with transference.
Unresolved Relationship Issues
Image: Lightstock

We were in the second week of a five-month discipleship program when one of the participants casually said, “I can’t tell you how much you remind me of my mother.” I knew she was not giving me a compliment because moments before, she had shared in great detail how difficult her family of origin was.

As the group continued, it became clear Karen* still followed ...

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Poured Out for the Church

Releasing the desire to be right, even when you’ve been wronged
Poured Out for the Church
Image: Lightstock

It’s one of those days that becomes etched in your memory―completely against your will. Try as I might to focus on the chubby legs of my two-year-old toddler scurrying around my ankles as we navigated the petting zoo, my mind was racing. My breath felt short and my heart beat erratically.

I felt the need to scratch a nagging itch―an odd sensation―relentlessly screaming ...

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Beat Imposter Syndrome

How to stand firm in who God says you are when you feel like a phony
Beat Imposter Syndrome
Image: iStock

Karie sits in the boardroom around the table with her co-workers. Having just presented the fall vision, her manager asks for feedback from the team. Karie knows what she wants to say, even how to say it. Just as she begins to open her mouth and give her response, however, she hears a voice whisper sternly.


Don’t you dare say anything.

Scanning the room, Karie notices ...

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When You Feel Like a Failure

Whether you've truly failed―or you just feel like a failure―the experience can actually be a blessing.
When You Feel Like a Failure
Image: iStock

“Well, Cara, I’m not really sure what to say, but you failed to do what we hired you to do.” The chairperson folded her hands on her lap, and looked at me blankly. I stared back at her, numb to the world around me.

Glancing at the paper in front of her, she went on to list all of the many ways she believed I had failed at in my first two years of ministry. ...

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