As a woman who has read Harlequin and Christian romance. I must truly emphasize the difference and plead with everyone to know how damaging the Harlequin novels are. While I agree that Christian romance is most definitely not porn - though I am sure that for some, it can effect expectations - Harlequin novels might as well be. Authors can be very descriptive and our minds are fairly creative. There is no difference between a photograph and a depiction. God is very clear about keeping our thoughts on pure and upright things. That was an excellent verse to use. Harlequin novels exploit what God created to be special between a husband and a wife. God bless Christian romance novels that describe what God created love to be like!! But there is something to be said for "not causing our neighbors to stumble." If a friend is feels that she shouldn't even read Christian Romance because she feels that it causes her to sin, no one should try and convince her otherwise.

The modern female likes to adore men just as much as we "look over" a male. I meant to write "as much as we "look over" a female. I happen to be a flamin' heterosexual, and NOT gay

OMG can we talk, can we talk a la Joan Rivers I live in a "Christian" community where Christians pastors are counseled about Divorce, marriage problems. Most of the tenants are "Very Christian" and try to convert you. Just today I went to the Bingo Room and today found tons of "Romance Novels- Harlequin Novels" FREE for anyone that wanted 'em. A lot of them were from Walmart $3.79 each etc. The place is for Seniors over 55 (I'm Male and 65) and ambulances and med services come through weekly. I digress. Americans are THE most inhibited people on the face of the earth. There is NOTHING wrong with getting horny. I brought a bunch home and boy was it erotic. Nancy Friday, eat your heart out. This'd make a sailor blush. I got quite turned on and I'm sure the woman who dumped these here used her sex toys quite a bit (I'm surprised she didn't bring those too and leave them there, maybe she already did and “horny” old ladies scooped them up but wouldn't be caught dead going to an Adult bookstore!) Women, wake up, YOU TOO GET HORNY, in fact even hornier then men I dare say! The modern female likes to adore men just as much as we "look over" a male. Mae West put it best "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me" Nowadays, Sex is rampant (and I think its a HUGE POSITIVE and not a negative!!!) Its all over the place ONLINE and every sexual fantasy can be brought alive, and again.. SEX IS NOT SIN! It's NOT Dirty!!! If it weren't for your parents having "SEX" (dare I've said it) you wouldn't be around to reading this...duh There is NOW a phenomena known as CFNM (Clothed Females Naked Males) and these women, young and OLD do to these Naked Male strippers what any male visiting a Female Strip Joint wouldn't be caught dead doing. This was inspired by the movie "THE FULL MONTY" from the UK and a website called LoverBoysUSA.com although it says USA originated this CFNM thing. So WOMEN do NOT be a hypocrite and say "ALL YOU MEN WANT IS ONE THING" You females are worse than animals. The females from The Czech Republic take it even further. PartyHardcore.com and now its even in the USA (in Florida, GrannyLand?) DancingBear.com Wake up and smell the Roses Women and now that you're horny GO OUT AND ASK MEN FOR A DATE, PAY FOR THE DATE, DRIVE THEM TO THE DATE, UNDO THE FIRST BUTTON, CARESS THE FIRST PRIVATE PART, TAKE THE FIRST KISS. Taking the initiative is NOT A MALE PRIVILEGE, its a huge huge burden. So bottom line (excuse the pun, or should we say fun) is go ahead and read these "horny Harlequin Romance Novels" and I don't like the word PORNO instead call it delicious yummi erotica. Wake up, for God's sake. I've read most of the comments. Yes these books are read by frustrated females so don't slink into a Walmart or read "GUNSMITH" from your Public Library, instead pick up guys, and pay for the date, especially if you're working and the guy you adore isn't....duh.. nuff said!!!

OMG can we talk, can we talk a la Joan Rivers I live in a "Christian" community where Christians pastors are counseled about Divorce, marriage problems. Most of the tenants are "Very Christian" and try to convert you. Just today I went to the Bingo Room and today found tons of "Romance Novels- Harlequin Novels" FREE for anyone that wanted 'em. A lot of them were from Walmart $3.79 each etc. The place is for Seniors over 55 (I'm Male and 65) and ambulances and med services come through weekly. I digress. Americans are THE most inhibited people on the face of the earth. There is NOTHING wrong with getting horny. I brought a bunch home and boy was it erotic. Nancy Friday, eat your heart out. This'd make a sailor blush. I got quite turned on and I'm sure the woman who dumped these here used her sex toys quite a bit (I'm surprised she didn't bring those too and leave them there, maybe she already did and “horny” old ladies scooped them up but wouldn't be caught dead going to an Adult bookstore!) Women, wake up, YOU TOO GET HORNY, in fact even hornier then men I dare say! The modern female likes to adore men just as much as we "look over" a male. Mae West put it best "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me" Nowadays, Sex is rampant (and I think its a HUGE POSITIVE and not a negative!!!) Its all over the place ONLINE and every sexual fantasy can be brought alive, and again.. SEX IS NOT SIN! It's NOT Dirty!!! If it weren't for your parents having "SEX" (dare I've said it) you wouldn't be around to reading this...duh There is NOW a phenomena known as CFNM (Clothed Females Naked Males) and these women, young and OLD do to these Naked Male strippers what any male visiting a Female Strip Joint wouldn't be caught dead doing. This was inspired by the movie "THE FULL MONTY" from the UK and a website called LoverBoysUSA.com although it says USA originated this CFNM thing. So WOMEN do NOT be a hypocrite and say "ALL YOU MEN WANT IS ONE THING" You females are worse than animals. The females from The Czech Republic take it even further. PartyHardcore.com and now its even in the USA (in Florida, GrannyLand?) DancingBear.com Wake up and smell the Roses Women and now that you're horny GO OUT AND ASK MEN FOR A DATE, PAY FOR THE DATE, DRIVE THEM TO THE DATE, UNDO THE FIRST BUTTON, CARESS THE FIRST PRIVATE PART, TAKE THE FIRST KISS. Taking the initiative is NOT A MALE PRIVILEGE, its a huge huge burden. So bottom line (excuse the pun, or should we say fun) is go ahead and read these "horny Harlequin Romance Novels" and I don't like the word PORNO instead call it delicious yummi erotica. Wake up, for God's sake. I've read most of the comments. Yes these books are read by frustrated females so don't slink into a Walmart or read "GUNSMITH" from your Public Library, instead pick up guys, and pay for the date, especially if you're working and the guy you adore isn't....duh.. nuff said!!!

Whether visual or emotional fantasy, the true issue isn't the fantasy. It is possible the fantasies could be reality, and if they are fulfilled in a Godly fashion, then there is nothing wrong with the fantasies. Expectation based on these fantasies are not problems either, because if we take for granted that they are fulfilled or take for granted they cannot be fulfilled, it is not possible to draw any direct spiritually negative consequence from the lack of a natural fulfillment. The only spiritually negative consequence that can be drawn from such scenarios are those which result from fulfilling x expectation or desire through the entertainment of y sinful behavior as described by Scripture. For a Christian man or woman to have a spouse who satisfies or fails to satisfy their natural needs has little to do with the core issue. The only true issue is the sinful consequences of desiring something which is outside of God's moral boundaries, which both physical and emotional forms of pornography can evoke. The physical or emotional object must be lusted after for sin or pornographic qualities to be attributed to the said object. This line of reasoning should lead one to conclude that a truly Christian romance novel should never be referred to as emotional porn, because it the romance is not directly evoking unlawful sexual fulfillment, regardless of how romantic or detached from reality. I must add this is a sneaky subject, because many forms of romantic expression easily lead to physical contact which can then be placed on a spectrum of physical expression leading to sexual activity. Each individual must watch for where the romance leads. That romance and sexuality are connected cannot be ignored; however, the emotions stemming from romance which have not sexual connotations or associations cannot rightly be referred to as pornographic regardless of the amount of excess.

Wow... those guidelines for the Christian romance novels published by at least one of the publishers an earlier commenter noted seem a little overly prescriptive - and also seem to be mean they shouldn't - if following their guidelines - published a number of sections of the Bible for example. e.g. "In a Heartsong Presents title, activities like dancing (including square dancing) and betting (including bingo) should not take place on church property or with the support of respected church leaders." Betting maybe, but dancing? (The guidelines later suggest that dancing in a historical setting might at least be OK, but need they really ensure that it not involve "the support of respected church leaders"?) On a somewhat amusing note, the Song of Solomon (8:2) seems to fail to meet their guidelines. And then there's "while they need not be “saints,” their actions must be consistent with Christian teaching." The Bible isn't exactly shy about describing actions inconsistent with Christian teaching - David and Bathsheba to name but one. Where are the flawed characters - say the Peter who denies Christ three times?

Um...yeah. there are "Christian" romance novels and romance novels that are full of rape, sex, forced marriage, and romanticizing criminal activity. There is no "Christian porn." If a man looks at any picture, whether it's "porn" or not, and idealizes that look, at the expense of his marriage...that's sin. if a woman reads a novel, whether it's "Christian" or not, and idealizes that relationship, at the expense of her marriage...that's sin. I've called "historical romances" - woman porn - for a long time. And I won't stop. Many men don't use porn because it's so sexy - a lot of men use porn because there is something missing from their marriage - acceptance. Many women don't use "woman porn" because it's so "romantic" - they use it because there is something missing from their marriage. Note that this is NOT universal - but please don't assume that all romance novels are "Christian" and that all women are reading them for the same reason.

I don't think it's a safe assumption that all Christian women read Christian romances. I've read a few Christian romances and they can be just titillating as secular books. The problem is not always with married women reading them, but young, impressionable girls. Most Christian romance novels are formulaic and fluffy.

Is it Beowulf or Beowolf? I don't read romance novels, Christian or otherwise. I've tried both from time to time over the years, but they're generally so poorly written that I can't get through the first few chapters. I'd have to turn my brain off to keep reading those things. And I think that's what a lot of women do.

Thank you, Caryn, for your bold opinions so well expressed! I love what @Ruth Logan Herne said in her comment. I also appreciate all the comments which point to a person's individual vulnerabilities regarding any of these things-- alcohol, movies, television and the like. Know thyself-- you are responsible for you. A beautifully written story which illustrates God-honoring love between two people is good. All the criticisms sound like legalistic hogwash to me.