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Chick-Fil-A's Lesson on Loving Your Enemies
In our polarized culture, potential enemies lurk around every ideological corner. Think of the back-and-forth in the comment section of blogs, our deeply entrenched political system that pits Democrats against Republicans, or the on-going mommy wars. Whenever we face someone who disagrees with our deeply held convictions, we tend to either passionately defend our vantage point or simply dismiss them.
Jesus offers a counterintuitive proposal; "You have heard the law of Moses say, 'Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.' But I say, 'Love your enemies.'" This mantra is often quoted, but rarely lived out. We say, "Love your enemies," but then go back to our bunker, maybe with a superficial smile, but without stopping to apply Jesus' words to our lives.
Dan Cathy, Chick-fil-A's chief operating officer, became the latest big-name example of someone who took this command seriously, initiating a conversation with and ultimately befriending a LGBT activist.
Last summer, a heated controversy erupted over Cathy's refusal to support gay marriage. As expected, many of us retreated to our pre-existing trenches. We declared whether or not we'd ever eat a Chick-fil-A sandwich again. We stood by the restaurant in appreciation or boycotted it in disgust. We did what we are too good at: opposing our enemies.
While we were busy fighting, Cathy slipped unnoticed into potentially hostile territory—but not for a counter-attack. Campus Pride director, gay activist, and openly gay man Shane Windmeyer, "came out" as Cathy's friend in an article he wrote for Huffington Post last month, describing how Cathy had reached out to hear more about LGBT concerns regarding his company.
In the midst of this unprecedented dialogue, Windmeyer writes, "Dan expressed a sincere interest in my life, wanting to get to know me on a personal level. He wanted to know about where I grew up, my faith, my family, even my husband, Tommy. In return, I learned about his wife and kids and gained an appreciation for his devout belief in Jesus Christ and his commitment to being 'a follower of Christ' more than a 'Christian.' Dan expressed regret and genuine sadness when he heard of people being treated unkindly in the name of Chick-fil-A, but he offered no apologies for his genuine beliefs about marriage."
Cathy's surprising approach gives us permission to question our default responses. Have we ever genuinely tried to love our enemies? What does Cathy understand that we might be missing? What made him stretch across the divide to initiate a friendship with a man who publicly criticized him and organized boycotts against his establishments?
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audrey ruth
esther tchoe, I cannot see that Dan Cathy has fought against anyone or that Chick-Fil-A has failed at anything. Cathy simply declared his Biblical belief in marriage as God defines it. If people who do not know and understand God's Word misunderstand our Biblical beliefs and thus misrepresent us as "haters", that does not mean we are haters -- actually, just the opposite is true. The Lord has stated very clearly in His Word that He hates sin -- we are to hate sin too. This does not mean we hate sinners, though (all of us were once sinners). It does mean that when we love God, we love what He loves and hate what He hates. Christ Jesus said that if the world had loved Him, it would love us. Instead, it hated Him and it hates those who are His. Even if we could be perfect as He was/is, we would still be hated and reviled for His sake. Our part is to be faithful to Him in all we do, trusting Him to use all things for good as He promised
esther tchoe
I’m glad Chick-Fil-A tried to show everyone a lesson on loving our enemy. Chick-Fil-A tried and failed. Showing everyone where Christians stand, that that they are for same-sex marriage, told those in support of gay marriage that they are our enemy. So many supporters of gay marriage were not only offended but some were even provoked to respond in ways to “offend” us. Some gay couples were found in front of Chick-Fil-A restaurants making out to prove and defend their rights. And I don’t believe that’s the way the gospel would show us to stand for what we believe in. The gospel doesn’t tell us to do whatever and everything we can as Christians to tell the world what we are against. Jesus did not proclaim to the world that He was against homosexuality. The Apostles did not do the same. Instead, they reached out solely to minister to sinners, not taking a stand on their views and getting politically involved. Jesus was never politically involved, and that’s why He said, “My Kingdom is not of this world.” His only goal and aim was to preach the gospel, drawing sinners to repentance. I understand Dan Cathy’s heart and intentions to fight for our moral Christian views of traditional marriage and preserve the sanctity of marriage. But our aim as Christians should always to live out the gospel, not taking a stand and getting politically involved. What Chick-Fil-A did and many other people like Dan Cathy do is tell the world what Christians are against. The whole world knows what we’re against. Why not tell them more what we’re for? Inviting masses of Christians to participate in Chick-Fil-A’s taking a stand against gay marriage only shows those in support of gay marriage that we are AGAINST it. We are showing them that they are wrong, that we are against their SIN. We are saying they are sinners and WRONG. Our main purpose and goal as Christians, in whatever we do to stand for truth, is to live out the gospel in the way Jesus did. If more people saw the Christian church live their faith in radical love, then we’d see that getting politically involved is completely unnecessary.
audrey ruth
Throughout the re-making of our society into one in which Christians are fine and dandy as long as we don't say anything with which others (in this case, those who practice homosexual acts) disagree, the real problem is that we are not allowed to simply state what the Lord God has declared as Truth, or we are falsely accused of being haters. There is no room for simple disagreement -- for doing as Jesus did and does, speaking the truth in love and hating the sin while loving the sinner. We have to march in lockstep with the unGodly, unBiblical agenda which extends no respect to a different view, or else we are marginalized and demonized. I applaud Mr. Cathy's stand, including his willingness to reason with those who do not understand and agree with God's Word. Many would love to see it eradicated from our society completely.
Taylor Jones
I am not surprised that Mr. Cathy did this because most of the Christians I know react the same way. I say most because all isn't true of any subject. My frustration, even though we show love and compassion, is the way we are demonized in the media. No matter how kind and loving we are, it is presented as hate speech because we disagree with the way they want to live. Since the media supports their agenda, it is a constant belittling of anyone of Christian faith. However, any other "religion" including devil worship is supported and not ridiculed. It was Hillary that said it takes a village to raise a child. We are all too aware that a village can raise your children in a way that will not be in keeping with God's laws. It is a constant struggle to raise your children in a Godly atmosphere. Although deeply afraid for our nation, I will continue to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me.
carlos santiago
Mr Cathy has been a great example from the beginning. Though others thought to harm him by slander he has fought the good fight and has overcome by showing God's love faithfully. Well done!
Tim Childs
Howard Pepper: You made a very good point or two! It isn't that we should just love gay people either, it is that as we learn to understand why someone is different from us, different skin colour, different culture, different experiences in life and so on, we become more rounded in ourselves. After all, in pluralistic multi-cultural societies all over the world, we are all often very different people, with different faiths and ideas of how to live; we can, at the end of the day, learn to tolerate each other and rub along, or we will find that their is increasing tension and friction. No one minds eating Indian or Chinese or Mexican or Thai food after all, but there are people who are racist and prejudiced against the people who bring new foods and cultures into the Western hemisphere. As Christians, we are simpy commanded to 'love your neighbour as yourself'; no ifs, buts or maybes, just a commandment that we should learn to love, tolerate and respect all people.
Howard Pepper
Thanks for the great article, Dorothy. I wasn't aware of this development and am encouraged by it (the new friendship or mutual respect). I'm also encouraged by your emphasis on the application of "love your enemies". In terms of gay issues (marriage, yes, but more broadly also), so many times people's attitudes and posture toward gays or the cultural/legal issues involved changes substantially IF they discover a loved one is gay or IF they get to know a gay person on a close personal basis.... It tends to help strip away the stereotypes and unfounded fears, myths, etc. I hope many more Christians will proactively pursue relationships with gay people (and maybe find some in their own church, or close to home are gay, in the process).
Tim Cowley
I'm glad these individuals have been able to see past their differences and love each other, but there is a difference between refusing to support gay marriage, as the article states, and active opposition. Worded this way, the article implies that the ire people feel towards Dan Cathy is his personal conviction that gay marriage is wrong. The Christian Right often characterizes such situations as an increasingly liberal society being opposed to the right of Christians to hold certain moral convictions. In other words they portray themselves as victims of the PC culture. But this does not accurately describe what is happening. The major issue that the LGBT and their supporters have is that he gives money to organizations that want government enforced bans on gay marriage, and he and these organizations often do so in an unloving way. If you actively oppose someone's agenda you should expect backlash and if you lack love and compassion while doing so, you will only breed more conflict.
Rachel Stephan Simko
Thanks for highlighting this. I was in the "never going back to Chic-fil-a" camp, but now I am thankful to see how Cathy responded to the outrage over his remarks. I had a misconception about who he was, based on the way most of my Christian friends responded by waving their "NO GAY" flags. It was a hurtful time for me -- hurting on behalf of my LGBT friends and feeling misunderstood in my Christian culture. Interesting (but no surprise) that no news media picked this side of the story up.
carlene byron
Thank you, Dorothy Greco, for bringing us closer to the heart of our faith! The Lord taught Israel how to love their enemies in very practical ways: * "If you come across your enemy's ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to him." (Exodus 23:4) * "If you see the donkey of one who hates you lying helpless under its load, you shall refrain from leaving it to him, you shall surely release it with him." (Exodus 23:5) * "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink." (Proverbs 25: 21) God calls us to actively assist those we consider our "enemies" when they find themselves in need or difficulty. Why? God knows. Perhaps it is because, like the servants who respond at the 11th hour, only God knows which "enemy," in God's time, God will call a friend. This is what the love of God looks like. This is the love with which we are charged. Thank you for this portrait of one who cares to love as God asks us to love.
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