More than 50 million adult Americans over age 18 are single, according to U.S. Census Bureau figures. The bureau also states that there are nearly 20 million “nonfamily” households consisting of people living alone or with an unrelated person—a 66 percent increase since 1970.
While entrepreneurs have caught the vision—hawking singles’ portions in grocery stores, singles’ apartment complexes, and nightspots—the church has been slow to tap into this huge chunk of the population. But now, following the lead of several pioneer ministers to single adults, some churches and denominations are considering church-sponsored programs for single adults. Their belief is that the gospel offers far more to the unmarried—many of whom are lonely, alienated, or unchurched—than singles’ bars and lonely hearts clubs.
Some of the best known and most active leaders of single adult ministries met last month in Dallas, Texas, where they attended workshops and general sessions designed to study the problems and challenges of ministry to single adults. Since singles’ ministry was almost nonexistent until the last decade, the better-than-hoped-for turnout of more than 400 found the three-day conference helpful in terms of contacts and resource materials: the book and cassette tables did a brisker business than a Texas steakhouse.
The three-day conference was called SALT I, an appropriate name for those who consider that the nuclear family was a bomb in the 1970s and that, as a result, single adults will continue to proliferate through the 1980s. A one-year-old resource agency, SOLO Ministries of Bartlesville, Oklahoma, planned this Single Adult Leadership Training (SALT) as “the first national interdenominational conference to assist the church in more effectively ministering with single adults.”
Attenders focused on the peculiar situations of singleness: the young and never married, who feel trapped in a no man’s land between high school and young marrieds’ groups; the divorced, who may feel alienated from their churches and friends: and the widowed, bothered by grief and loneliness.
Participants at SALT I, many of whom attended to learn how to start and structure a single adults program, asked questions such as: Should groups be broken down according to age and marital experience? Are married couples and divorced persons qualified (or better qualified) as singles’ leaders? How can small churches get involved in a costly singles’ program? How can leaders build Christian commitment in a transient singles’ group—in which the annual turnover rate may exceed 60 percent?
The six SOLO Ministries staff members could offer suggestions out of their own experiences in working in local churches with single adults. The staff of SOLO Ministries, a division of SOLO Magazine, a bimonthly publication aimed at “Positive Christian Singles,” include:
• Doug Shaw, 31, SALT I coordinator, who directs a growing ministry to single adults at 5,000-member First United Methodist Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, a city with an estimated 60,000 single adults. Last year, when it became apparent that a second full-time staff member for single adults was needed, Shaw’s core group of 300 donated $15,000 in a single offering—more than enough for a one-year salary for an assistant to Shaw.
• Jim Smoke, of Tustin, California, an author and consultant. In 1974 he became single adults’ minister at Robert Schuller’s Garden Grove (Calif.) Community Church with 200 singles; there were 1,300 when he left four years later.
• Harold Ivan Smith, 32, the first general director for single adult ministries in the Church of the Nazarene, one of the few Protestant bodies with a coordinator for single adult programs (the Southern Baptists are another). Smith became interested in singles’ ministry after going through a painful divorce, and then finding few written Christian materials dealing with his situation.
• Jerry Jones, 28, publisher of SOLO magazine—originally a publication of Schuller’s Garden Grove church—has blended the inspirational with the practical: entertaining tips for singles, counsel for single parents, and advice on dating relationships. Magazine circulation has grown from 1,200 to 12,000 within the past year, said Jones.
The magazine’s sudden growth may be indicative of a coming, larger “single ministries” boom, said SALT I speakers. Smoke, a frequent speaker at singles and divorce recovery workshops, said the singles’ movement is becoming as strong as Youth for Christ was in the late 1950s and early 1960s. Next year he will teach a singles’ ministry course at Fuller Seminary, reportedly the first seminary-level program of its kind.
Some churches report phenomenal growth in single adult programs: 6,000-member Village Presbyterian Church in suburban Kansas City, for instance, has almost nightly events for singles, with an average attendance of 400 and an overall program impact on some 3,000 single adults in the area.
Speakers warned against placing emphasis on the “numbers game,” however. Britton Wood, who was one of the first full-time ministers to single adults when he was at Park Cities Baptist Church in Dallas during the 1970s, said churches first should build caring relationships between the single adults they already have, then consider recruiting outsiders: “If singles begin to care for each other, growth will occur.”
Shaw, whose goal is building credibility for singles’ ministry in the local church, was concerned about “getting into a lot of hype.” He may have been referring to the sudden Christian growth industry of singleness: the pen pal clubs, tour groups, and newspapers aimed at Christian single adults.
Churches must face the hard issues of singleness, SALT I speakers agreed; conference leaders recognized that many people join singles groups for relationships with the opposite sex. In a conference address, Harold Smith said the church has been woefully silent on the subject of sexuality. The church must provide solid, biblical guidance to singles—some of whom are looking for an accommodation for their promiscuity. (Last year, Smith conducted a survey of 203 formerly married Christian adults in a large California church. He found that only 9 percent of the men and 27 percent of the women remained celibate after their divorces [see CT for May 25, 1979].)
However. Smith believes it is just as wrong for singles’ leaders to forbid dating relationships between group members, and ask them to regard each other only as “brothers and sisters in the Lord.” Repressed sexuality only increases the temptation for sexual sin when the single adult finally has a date, said Smith.
Marriage education courses are one answer to the spiraling divorce rates, said several SALT I speakers. Another problem, said single adults’ leader Bud Pearson of Garden Grove church, is divorced per sons who rush into a second marriage and find this second relationship also on the rocks. He is leading a counseling program geared to divorced persons who have remarried, and to the just-divorced. One singles’ leader said the church should discourage marriages that appear likely to fail: one SALT I speaker said, “I’m turning down about one wedding now for every wedding I do.”
Singles have greater resources and time for ministry than do many marrieds, conference speakers agreed. For that reason, singles should be placed in missions and church leadership positions. Dick Stafford, single adults’ minister at South Main Baptist Church in Houston, warned against singles becoming self-centered “in-groups.” His own single adults.’ program, which is called “Main Point” (“the main point is not whether you’re single or married, but whether you know Jesus Christ,” he explained), wants to start a church-planting ministry. The singles’ goal, after three years of work in an area, would be to leave behind a church building, enough funds for a pastor’s salary for one year, and a core of believers excited about building the church.
Along this line, SALT I leaders made clear they were not building a church for singles: “We’re the family of God, not the singles of God,” said Shaw. Suggestions for incorporating singles into the family-centered local church included intergenerational worship groups, families who will “adopt” singles into their homes, and the full participation of singles on church committees and in leadership posts.
But to get single adults fully involved in the church family, SALT I participants realized that singles first must be brought into contact with the church. At the expected SALT II conference next year, participants will explore new ways to attract single adults to the church.
They may also reaffirm the more traditional approaches. Quipped one knowing pastor: “We’ve never had a potluck dinner that failed.”
Social involvement
The Best Education at State—Bar None
The riot last month at New Mexico State Penitentiary left 33 inmates dead and $60 million in damages: a grim reminder of a need for rehabilitation among inmates in the nation’s potentially explosive prisons.
State Prison of Southern Michigan (SPSM), the largest walled prison in the world, was broken into this fall by a Christian liberal arts college education program. Nearby Spring Arbor College (Free Methodist) began offering 35 upper division classes at the prison. So far, about 200 of the 6,000 inmates are enrolled in the classes, which are taught by Spring Arbor faculty.
Located near Jackson, the prison is one of the most densely populated in the U.S. Only 14 miles and a brick wall separate it from Spring Arbor and the 1,000 “traditional” students enrolled there.
Spring Arbor got involved at the prison after learning that Wayne State University and John Wesley College programs at the prison were terminated last spring.
“This program is an excellent opportunity for an outreach ministry,” said Spring Arbor president Kenneth Coffman. “You will not find a larger concentration of needy individuals, and most of them will be returning to society. If we can make a difference in their lives, we are not only providing a service to them, but to society at large.”
To qualify for the program, inmates must have earned at least 62 hours of college credit from Jackson Community College, which also offers classes there. The program leads to a bachelor of arts degree, and majors are available in business, psychology, and social science.
Some classes, such as biblical history and literature, deal directly with Christianity. Others allow the teacher opportunity to share a Christian perspective on values, lifestyles, and social problems.
Faculty and staff members who teach at the prison say their presence is a witness in itself. Paul Nemecek, coordinator of the prison education program, said inmates say they can distinguish Spring Arbor faculty from other teachers at the prison because the former “put more into their classes and take more of a personal interest in their students.”
Many inmates have had bad experiences with authority figures, some of whom accept bribes and sell drugs. Said academic dean Alton Kurtz: “They [inmates] have little experience with people of integrity. We do not have to teach a Bible class for the inmates to recognize our Christian distinctives.”
Since Spring Arbor’s traditional curriculum and teaching approach is geared for students familiar with Scripture and the evangelical tradition, by necessity there have been efforts to adapt the program to the prison clientele. Many prisoners are Black Muslims and socialists, with a different world outlook.
Philosophy/religion professor Darrell Moore commented, “There are real problems of communication. We have a Christian value system, but many of them see Christianity as the worst oppressor of their society … some of them have a whole different value structure.”
Still, most parties involved—inmates, Spring Arbor faculty, and prison officials—are optimistic about the program’s potential. The classes are held in a give-and-take atmosphere. A goal is to offer the inmate students a holistic education, in which they integrate faith, learning, and living. One prisoner, in a letter to the Jackson Citizen Patriot, said education will help the inmates’ socialization process: “… there are many prisoners at SPSM who are socially retarded.”
Inmates who leave prison and are unable to find work usually end up behind bars again. With that in mind, the college is developing a career planning and placement program at the prison in an effort to decrease this return rate among its graduates.
Program coordinator Nemecek calls the corrections system “one of the greatest social problems of our time,” and doesn’t see himself as “changing the system.” By his involvement, however, he hopes to better the prisoners’ lot and, in so doing, be an “agent of redemption in our society.”
DAN RUNYON
The National Prayer Breakfast
President Carter Commends Prayer for Our Persecutors
“Spiritual growth depends partly on becoming more aware of others and praying for them,” said President Jimmy Carter at last month’s National Prayer Breakfast, held at the Washington Hilton. His audience of some 3,000 at the event, held annually since 1953, included many of the nation’s high and mighty in government, business, and labor.
“One of the most difficult things for us to do is to pray for those who hate us and persecute us,” he said. He urged his listeners to draw up a list of specific names as a guide for daily prayer. “It’s not easy; I force myself to pray for some persons,” said Carter. “Every day I pray for the Ayatollah Khomeini, for the kidnappers who hold the Americans, and for those who are held hostage in innocence.”
The prayer list, Carter added, should include thanking God for life’s distressing experiences, for these, too, are opportunities for spiritual growth.
Earlier, Republican Congressman Guy Vander Jagt of Michigan, the eloquent keynote speaker at the event, recalled how Carter at the 1979 breakfast had correctly predicted that religious events in the Middle East would be the big news story of the year. The legislator expressed hope that this year’s big stories would include the release of the American hostages in Iran and “a spiritual awakening here at home”—a remark that prompted enthusiastic applause.
Vander Jagt, a Yale Divinity School graduate who served as pastor of a United Presbyterian church in Michigan when he was still a teen-ager, recounted his futile quest at Yale “for the historical Christ.” The lawmaker said he finally made the same discovery as the apostle Paul, who likewise did not witness the historical event of the resurrection: “Christ liveth in me.… That’s where we must be; we must experience the resurrected Christ.” The crowd responded with a standing ovation.
Observers seemed agreed that except for brief mentions in formal prayers about the potential perils facing the nation, the breakfast meeting lacked an atmosphere of national crisis. After Carter spoke, participants held hands at their tables while Admiral Thomas B. Hayward, Chief of Naval Operations, delivered the final prayer. He called on God to “use us as instruments of your power to bring solutions to the world’s perplexing problems,” and then Congressman Bill Hefner of North Carolina led the gathering in singing the chorus, “Alleluia.”
(Similar prayer breakfasts were held simultaneously at the Pentagon, where hundreds gathered, and at various military installations throughout the world.)
Following the breakfast, many guests fanned out to Christian leadership seminars for the rest of the day. Speakers included retired Roman Catholic Cardinal Leo Josef Suenens of Belgium, charismatic evangelist Juan Carlos Ortiz of Argentina, and globe-trudging street evangelist Arthur Blessitt of Los Angeles. Suenens, the highest-ranking member of the Catholic charismatic renewal movement, spoke on the importance of establishing a personal relationship with Christ and on the need for “visible Christian unity.” Suenens hinted that such unity could not exist apart from some sort of relationship to the Catholic church. Pastor Richard Halverson of suburban Washington’s Fourth Presbyterian Church, chairman of the meeting where Suenens spoke, voiced his belief that the church is in a state of flux and that a new unity will emerge, separate from any present institution.
A panel on disaster relief featured both relief agency workers and refugees. Recent visitors to Cambodia told of meeting small numbers of Christians who somehow survived the former regime’s extermination efforts. Former Congressman Walter Judd, a retired physician, sparked a rousing response by asking “When are we going to deal with the cause instead of just the symptoms or results of oppression?” Said he: “Let’s not call them ‘boat people,’ let’s call them what they are—victims of Communist tyranny.”
In another session, Nicholas Soames, son of Rhodesia’s interim Governor Lord Soames and grandson of Winston Churchill, declared that the “bottom line for the world today is the need for reconciliation.” Governments can’t produce it, he said, because they are not spiritual forces. “Our only real hope is the reconciling force of Christ,” he asserted.
Officially, the annual breakfast is sponsored by the House and Senate prayer groups (the Senate prayer group was begun the morning after Pearl Harbor was bombed; the House group began in 1943). The real work force behind the event over the years, however, has been International Christian Leadership, an evangelical group reorganized in 1971 as a loosely structured entity known simply as “the Fellowship.” Halverson, former executive head of ICL, is still the spiritual patriarch of the movement, which has both full-time and volunteer workers stationed around the world.
EDWARD E. PLOWMAN
North American Scene
At least 17 Jewish groups refused invitations to testify at two National Council of Churches panel hearings on the Middle East last month. A spokesman for the Anti-Defamation League of B’Nai B’rith said the NCC claims fairness, but “when the votes are taken in the NCC Governing Board, the views of pro-Arab pro-PLO spokesmen always prevail.” The hearings, which were sparsely attended, are part of a reassessment of Middle East policy by the NCC leading up to full discussion of the issue at its governing board meeting in May.
Civil liberties groups have filed suit against a new Massachusetts state law allowing voluntary prayer aloud in public schools. (Since 1966 the state has had a law requiring a minute of silent meditation in the classrooms—one of nine states with laws requiring either silent meditation or prayer.) Some teachers did invite pupils to pray aloud, but surveys showed spotty compliance with the law.
Church-related colleges should not expect direct federal aid in the coming decade, warned Shirley Hufstedler, head of the newly created Department of Education. She voiced her support for church-related colleges, but warned that because of constitutional questions, the “safest” kind of federal help is grants and loans to students, not institutions. Her comments were well received by 450 educators in Washington, D.C., at a National Congress on Church-related Colleges and Universities: it was sponsored by 600 schools affiliated with 23 church bodies as part of a two-year effort to “review, reaffirm, and renew” the role of such schools in American culture.