MR. AND MS. USA
“Inside the Mind of Unchurched Harry & Mary”
By Lee Strobel, Zondervan $9.99
Reviewed by Bary Fenton, pastor,
Dawson Memorial Baptist Church,
Birmingham, Alabama
“Paradigm shifts,” “culture swing,” and “demographic trends” are catch phrases in the church-growth world, but these terms are empty unless translated into faces and personalities.
This is precisely what Lee Strobel does in “Inside the Mind of Unchurched Harry & Mary.”
Rather than giving a generic profile of the unchurched baby boomer, Strobel, teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois, tells you up front that he is describing his own mindset prior to becoming a follower of Christ.
Strobel does not limit his observations to his own personal story but has also done his homework. His own story and research are sewn from the fabric of Willow Creek, the facts of George Barna, and the stories of Lyle Schaller.
The author, a former “Chicago Tribune” reported, argues that the unchurched boomer’s life is different not just at 11:00 am on Sunday, but reflects a completely different way of thinking.
In the most helpful section, Strobel lists fifteen observations about the average unchurched boomer. For instance, “Harry has rejected the church, but that does not mean he has rejected God,” an important distinction.
Some of the information could be quite discouraging unless you accept Strobel’s assumption that unchurched Harry and Mary struggle more with the messenger of the gospel than they do the reality of the gospel.
This generation has been disillusioned by the church’s style. Too often church leaders have assumed the negative reaction was the result of eccentric televangelists, but Strobel indicates that it is far more than blaming “Jim and Tammy.” Harry sees the church as boring, insensitive, and sometimes dishonest.
An equally important observation: “Harry doesn’t just want to know something; he wants to experience it.” Strobel is on target when he deals with the power of emotion. He wisely doesn’t try to give a formula for making worship an experience but emphasizes that unchurched Harry and Mary will neither be attracted nor maintained by the power of reason and logic alone.
“For many unchurched Harrys who are on a spiritual journey,” Strobel explains, “experience not evidence is their mode of discovery.”
This has many applications. Although Strobel relates it to worship, it has tremendous application to Bible study and small-group activities as well. Some trained in the meditative/reflective school of worship may feel the author is insensitive to their position, but he is not trying to comfort the vendor but describe the market.
Perhaps the weakest portion of the book is when Strobel seeks to help the reader counter the objections unchurched Harry and Mary have to the gospel.
At this point, the author starts sounding like a person who works for the church. No longer is the author an unchurched Harry, instead he is “Willow Creek Lee.”
For example, each of Strobel’s “spiritual sticking points” focuses on the word “believe”–“Sticking Point #1: ‘I can’t believe.’ ” He illustrates by telling the story of a young attorney who came to him asking, “How can I be sure that I can trust the Bible?” This illustration feels dated, however, as the attorney sounds more like an “overchurched” Harry who enjoys making pompous authorities defend their positions.
But overall, the book is helpful. Strobel contends that often our life in the church pulls us away from the folks who most need our message. We need to listen to and observe the world we are seeking to reach before we plan our strategy.
As a pastor in the South, I’m sensitive to many regional differences in boomers that Strobel cannot address, although he does, on occasion, recognize that the cultural reality in the South is different. With this regional disclaimer, “Inside the Mind of Unchurched Harry & Mary” is a must-read for the leader who seeks to authentically tell the old story to a new world of needy people.
THE NEW ENDANGERED SPECIES
“Pastors at Risk”
by H.B. London
and Neil B. Wiseman
Victor, $14.99
“Pastors off the Record”
by Stefan Ulstein
Intervarsity, $10.99
Reviewed by Greg Asimakoupoulos,
pastor, Crossroads Covenant Church,
Concord, California.
Warning: the list of endangered species is growing. To bald eagles, koalas, and spotted owls, add another: ordained pastors energized by what they do.
A majority of American ministers are suffering from spiritual burnout and buckling under family and financial pressures. According to a recent Focus on the Family study, “90 percent admit having been discouraged in the last three months and 70 percent of those said they had questioned whether they should remain in the ministry.’
Candid observations like these were compiled by H.B. London, assistant to the president at Focus on the Family, and Neil B. Wiseman, vice president of Nazarene Bible College in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Both men are former Nazarene pastors. This book is their response to these troubling trends.
“Pastoring is harder now than ever before,” they write. “Unprecedented shifts in moral, social and economic conditions are jolting congregations and bringing into question the way ministry is done. … They feel disenchanted, discouraged and often outraged. … “
Ever since my own brush with burnout three years ago, I have devoured books and tapes on the subject. In my opinion, a major strength of “Pastors at Risk” is the way the authors enumerate the unique stress factors woven into “the cloth.” The authors identify fifteen, including church-member migration, the consumer mentality, and dysfunctional people.
How can this trend be reversed? Balance. A balanced ministry will insure this sacred species survives. To that end London and Wiseman have marshalled the counsel of experts in the areas of marriage, family life, finances, stress reduction, and spiritual formation.
For example, Linda Reilly, a pastor’s wife (and founder of a support network for pastors’ mates) identifies the frustrations faced by most ministry spouses. Among the most common are anger and loneliness. That chapter is titled “Who Is This Superwoman by the Pastor’s Side?” It also includes a discussion on the emotional abuse pastors’ wives endure, unsuspected by the congregation. But not all disenchanted wives hide their hurt. In a letter quoted by the authors, a bitter first lady states, “I’ve totally lost respect for my husband, so when I go to church I sit on the back pew and knit.”
London links pastoral survival with a healthy marriage. Even the chapters that include nuts-and-bolts insights from financial counselor Ron Blue or psychologist Archibald Hart hinge on the health of the pastor’s home life. The risks of ministry are minimized when a marriage is maximized.
My only criticism is that this book took too long to get to the most critical help for hurting pastors–a refreshed relationship with Christ. In the chapter, “Pursue Personal Holiness,” Jerry Bridges of the Navigators (and author of “Pursuit of Holiness”) articulates why intimacy with Christ “invigorates a pastor so he can victoriously meet the rigors of his task with restored focus and vigor.” It’s a powerful chapter that offers to move a dry, empty, exhausted performer from professional religion to personal faith.
The suggested disciplines offered by London, Wiseman, and Bridges were indeed a wake-up call from God to me. (And they didn’t require waking up any earlier than I already do.)
On a related subject but straight from the pastor’s mouth is Stefan Ulstein’s “Pastors Off the Record.” In a first-person voice, pastors tell their own war stories. You’ll read of a minister who cashed it in after thirty-two years of “feeling like a fraud.” About a pastor who raced around a track of spiritual duties like a “diesel engine without a governor.” Still another offers a candid confession of what it’s like “living in the shadows of big churches.”
In all, 32 pastors bare their souls.
Although he had thoughts of one day wearing “a collar,” Stefan Ulstein chose another shirt style. He’s an English teacher at a Christian high school near Seattle. Nonetheless, by virtue of his relationships and religious writing assignments, Ulstein recognized the peculiar plane on which pastors intersect life.
“Many of them seemed to be ‘on’ all the time,” he writes. “I began to detect a professional distance between pastors and their flocks that seemed out of sync with the humanizing freeing unity I had found in Christ.”
One strength of “Pastors off the Record” is Ulstein’s creative introductions. Each chapter’s testimonial, the result of in-depth interviews he conducted from Canada to Mexico across a wide range of denominations, opens with Ulstein describing the pastor we are about to meet. In each case, he whetted my appetite:
“He’s a respected school administrator in a medium-sized town. As a young man he was a rising star in his conservative denomination: an accomplished preacher, teacher and radio personality. At thirty-two he had a nervous breakdown that led to a crisis in faith. For several years he was unable to enter a church … “
Ulstein’s reason for putting together this book?
“It was my hope,” he writes, “that the stories … will help pastors and their congregations to break through the walls of professional expectation, careerism and petty politics that keep the church from being all that it can be in Christ.”
The price tag of effectiveness is costly, as these two books enumerate but the risks of ministry burnout will not disappear by reading either one. The risks are part of the landscape of parish life. But reading these books with a mate or a group of lay leaders will provide a way to manage the risks.
We’ve all seen bumper stickers that invite us to SAVE THE WHALES. Perhaps the distributors of these two books should include one that challenges churches to SAVE YOUR PASTOR.
YOUTH MINISTRY IN YOUR DREAMS
“How to Choose a Youth Pastor”
by Paul Borthwick
Thomas Nelson, $12.99
Reviewed by Michele Hall,
director of Christian education
Arvada Covenant Church,
Armadas, Colorado.
Several months ago, our church was in the midst of the ultimate challenge–the search for a new youth pastor. Our search committee felt pressure to “select the best” and to “do it now.” Choosing the right person right now soon became their daily obsession.
They could have benefited from Paul Borthwick’s new book, “How to Choose a Youth Pastor.”
“We all know stories of people,” writes Borthwick, missions pastor and former youth pastor at Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts, “who marched forward with a plan without really counting the cost. They were so excited about some idea that they went ahead naively, only to encounter trouble later. Unfulfilled dreams, incomplete projects, and mismatched solutions are the result. The same can happen in the selection of a Youth Pastor.”
Our committee’s first major frustration was time: “We organized in May,” said one of our committee members, “and were told to have someone in place by August 1.”
Borthwick is well aware of this trap. Looking for a new youth pastor should be taken slowly, he urges. “The problem for the search committee,” he writes, “is that the rest of the church might not be patient. Parents want a youth minister now!”
Another of our hurdles was creating a job description.
Borthwick says too many job profiles are unrealistic. After one church had sent him a youth pastor job description to look over, Borthwick wrote back, “It looks great, but I have one question: How many people are you looking for to fill this position?” Unrealistic expectations plus myriad opinions tempt search committees to hunt for a “Messiah or a superhuman who will fulfill all of the church’s dreams concerning youth ministry.”
Such was our initial direction.
Chapters 3-12 are written to help the search committee come to terms with what they need: “a faithful youth worker who will be the best possible fit with the church.” Chapter titles include “Are We Looking for a Pastor or an Associate?” “What Can a Youth Pastor Really Offer?” and “Where Must Our Youth Pastor Be Strong?”
To discover what the church needs in a youth pastor, Borthwick advises the committee to lay down the barebones essentials and then refuse to waver on the non-negotiables.
That’s not bad advice. Our committee attempted to accomplish this through a score-card system, but the members never ordered their priorities, so the process remained too subjective.
In Chapter 16, “Making the Choice,” Borthwick points out that a sound choice hinges upon the committee’s commitment to five areas: “Be prayerful, be patient, hire the best, be honest and be decisive.” Of the five, the most significant is prayer.
“Search committees need to do the hard work necessary to investigate candidates,” he says, “but there is spiritual work that can be done only through prayer.”
Our chairman and her committee were dedicated to prayer, and through it diligently sought the Lord’s choice for the position. God honored their commitment, and a wise choice was ultimately made.
But the committee’s job is not over once someone is hired.
Borthwick calls the search committee to its final responsibility–easing the candidate’s transition into ministry.
Borthwick concludes with 49 practical pages of interview questions, how-to’s for creating a youth ministry budget, and job descriptions.
“How to Choose a Youth Pastor” came too late for the church where I work, but we’ve got it on our shelf now, should we ever need it again.
THE NEW AND OLDER HOMEFRONT
“Targeting Families”
by Robert Boutilier
American Demographics, $39.95
“Catch the Age Wave”
by Win and Charles Arn
Baker, $9.99
Reviewed by Jim Abrahamson,
pastor, Chapel Hill Bible Church,
Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
Market-sensitive churches have given a lot of attention to the zoomers,” those born between 1946 and 1965, and constituting in our society a demographic bulge. But looking down the road, we see a new focus on the family is emerging, for three reasons.
First, as boomers reach middle age, they raise the level of social concern for the family. Congregations geared up for the 30- to 40-year-olds of today need to be aware of how the family is changing and ready for the expanding market of 50- to 65-year-olds of tomorrow.
Second, there’s increasing concern for the welfare of children in our society and the family’s critical role in their development.
Third, the emerging immigrant population with its family-centered values presents an additional element in the America of tomorrow.
Is the church poised to respond to this opportunity? Here are two resources that will help.
Psychologist Robert Boutilier’s “Targeting Families” is an easy read and remarkably comprehensive for only 154 pages. Boutilier, who heads a marketing research firm in Vancouver, offers market-sensitive leaders (including pastors), statistical information, helpful charts, and insightful analysis from the perspective of a secular marketing professional.
In the first part of the book, “The Importance of Family,” Boutilier traces the evolution of the family to what he calls the neotraditional period (beyond 1990). The neotraditional period is characterized as a return of the family unit to a place of social respectability, though not necessarily a return to family values as some might prefer.
“Baby boomers who gave us record numbers of households with childless couples,” Boutilier notes, “have had enough of independence and self-indulgence. They are now looking for something more substantial than instant gratification.” The neotraditional family is more diverse than the traditional family in that, for example, it includes a growing number of single-parent households.
The church cannot continue to assume the traditional family is the norm. To be effective, we’ll need to monitor, for example, our Sunday morning illustrations using material that dignifies all families, not just those with two parents and two children.
Boutilier then turns to the second section of his book, “How to Do Family Marketing.”
“When we view the family as a consuming unit,” he writes, “we market to it. When we look at the family as a social environment for individuals, we market through families.”
His excellent chapter on the drama of family decision-making dynamics sheds light on how families make a purchasing (or church affiliation?) decision. It gave me a better idea of how to respond to families who visit our congregation.
When a family visits my church, for example, and says, “We’re looking for a new church,” I can’t assume the person speaking to me, say, the mother, is making the decision of where to attend. It may be their teenage son, who wants a youth program where he fits in–and his mother might not tell you that up front.
Before I start answering their questions about the church, I myself need to ask some questions. I need to find out who is influencing this decision the most. I must get a read on how this family makes choices, particularly the choice of church, so I can more intelligently answer their real questions.
TARGETING SENIOR ADULTS
“Catch the Age Wave” by Win and Charles Arn offers a more direct call to the church. The first six chapters address the relationship of a graying America to the church. The second section applies growth principles to senior adult ministries.
The authors suggest we are near the crest of an “age wave,” but demographers tell me that we are a full generation away from the crest of that wave. The wave cresting now is the middleage wave of folks 45-64.
Nonetheless, this book’s clear, concise, and challenging call to give attention to seniors is helpful. The church should not neglect the elderly (65+) even though it may be 2010 before they represent the demographic bulge that these authors call the age wave.
One of the most helpful discussions in this book is a chapter addressing the problem of ageism in the church.
“Does your church intentionally seek out young families without an equal outreach to older adults?” the authors write. “That’s ageism! Does the membership see older adults as liabilities rather than assets? That’s ageism!”
The authors correctly note that those entering old age now and in the future differ significantly from those who entered old age in the past. I wonder why, however, this point was not developed more forcefully. For example, the authors seem to ignore the most important fact that the growing number of older persons are relatively healthy, well educated, and financially secure. These facts seem critical to understanding ministry to and through the senior citizens of the future.
We have here two very different books, the first more sophisticated and theoretical, the second more simple but practically tuned to the needs of the local church. In reading both I was stimulated to change the focus of my attitudes and actions as I prepare to minister to the changing human landscape in our church.
Copyright (c) 1995 Christianity Today, Inc./LEADERSHIP Journal
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Copyright © 1994 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
