Never Content

It was a critical time for Moses and the children of Israel. After the disappointing betrayal with the golden calf, Moses returned to Mount Sinai, weary and frustrated, to speak with God and make atonement for the sins of the people. Moses asked for God’s forgiveness, and God gave a surprising response: “Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way”—I will keep my promise about the land, but then I am finished with you (Exodus 33:3).

God had been in Moses’ life for a while now—at God’s initiation. We know that Moses did not start out as the most willing participant in God’s plan, let alone lead with much more than fearful reluctance. But he had come a long way since those early days after the burning bush episode. He saw God free his people from Egypt, carry them to safety across the Red Sea, and begin to establish the family of Israel as a nation, a people to call his own. All along the way, a relationship was forged between a timid, stuttering man and the God of all eternity.

One can only speculate about what Moses was thinking as he pitched his tent and prepared to talk to God. Could he really blame God for having had enough of the Israelites? Moses may have been terrified at the thought of having to deal with them on his own—and really, what was the point of all this if God was not coming with them? Moses could have appealed to God to stay with them on the basis of his leadership—”yes, these people are stubborn and I can’t lead them alone; you have to help me.” Moses would have been right, too. Even the regular occurrence of miracles had not garnered any degree of faithfulness from the people. As soon as his back was turned, they were off making new gods to ease their anxiety over being left in the valley to wait. Apart from God, it was unlikely they would follow a mere man, especially when crisis hits.

But Moses did not make his appeal on this account—what terrified Moses was that God would leave him alone, and that Moses would fail to know the One who had called him in the first place. As he speaks, his words are humble and plaintive, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you” (Ex. 33:12-13).

What is strange to us is that Moses already knew God. He had more encounters than any human being ever had before or ever would, and scripture says the Lord spoke to Moses “face to face, as a man speaks with his friend” (v. 11). You would think that the burning bush alone would have contented him—it would be a great story to tell friends and family over the years, a wonderful memory of the great days of God’s power.

But the exact opposite was true. With each encounter, a hunger was kindled in Moses to know more of the same. With each interaction with Pharaoh, with every plague and miracle, and with God’s personal communication of his covenant promises to him, Moses began to know his God, and as this passage shows, the experiences only made him want God more.

As we strive in ministry, we are constantly confronted with our weakness for the task and the reality that the people we serve are sinful and fallen. God’s call is also often insistent and terrifying, asking us to go places we wouldn’t choose, and to go with people who will mostly complain. We can become exhausted, and the temptation to live a safe and quiet life and have a safe (and quiet) ministry constantly beckons. But if we allow ourselves to be shaken as Moses was by the threat of God’s absence, we can be reminded of why we really allow ourselves to be led around by God’s hand. What kind of life would it be if God were not a part of it, and the discovery of God’s ways were not the reason for the journey?

In God’s beautiful mercy, he answered Moses’ cry. Once fearing abandonment, Moses is granted the one thing he had to have above all else. God places Moses in a cleft of rock, covering him with his hand. As the glory of God passes by, God proclaims his name to his child and servant, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin” (Ex. 34:6).

Linda Gehrs is assistant editor of Building Church Leaders. To reply, write Newsletter@LeadershipJournal.net.