Erwin McManusMosaicLos Angeles,California
Gossip indicates poor health.
We had huge gossip issues ten years ago, but we don’t today.
We had created an environment where people felt powerless to dissent. Most church business we kept secret among the top leaders. Gossip was an ungodly response to powerlessness.
We decided if information is going to be distributed freely, we want to be the ones to distribute it. So now we share widely whatever is appropriate. We try to create an environment where people can be heard. If people are informed and empowered, then when they hear gossip, they will stop it, because they know it’s not true.
In a multi-cultural environment, it’s important to know whether the person is from a directive or non-directive society. Asian and Latin cultures communicate indirectly. It may not be appropriate to speak directly to a superior. Someone might say something to my wife, hoping to open a discussion with me. That’s not gossip. Their motivation is pure. They can have a conversation about me without attacking my character.
A non-directive communicator will talk with someone close to you; a gossiper will talk to anybody.
Ken FongEvergreenBaptist ChurchRosemead, California
Preach it, brother.
Six years ago, our church prepared to divide into two bodies in order to plant a new congregation. During the months we gave the people to pray through this decision, I started hearing rumors: the church I was going to pastor would be filled with former drug addicts and prostitutes, and unsuitable for families with children. (I had experience ministering to these groups of people.)
I decided to address it head on. I found a way to work the rumor into my next sermon. “Apparently some of you think that when I become senior pastor here that I’m going to drive down to the Crenshaw district in a bus and pick up a whole load of ‘unwashed people.’
“That’s not my intention, but even if I did, none of them would be back the following week if no one else here reached out to them.
“We’re not planning a ministry to drug addicts and prostitutes, but we are going to be a church that welcomes any who are led to join us.”
Many families left, but today our church is filled with people who embrace our vision and values.
Cheryl SandersThird StreetChurch of GodWashington, D.C.
Leaders set the example.
I don’t invest much energy tracking down rumors or confronting those who spread them. But I make sure our leaders know what we expect. At the beginning of each year, we invite our newly-elected church officers and leaders to approach the altar for commissioning. We read a litany that we will refrain from evil speaking, in keeping with Ephesians 4:29-32: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers . …”
For example, we occasionally are asked to offer a prayer of dedication for children who are born to unmarried parents. It is our policy to make a very public observance in Sunday worship when the parents are married, but to do the service privately when the parents are not married.
In preparing, the staff becomes aware of those persons whose sexual relationships do not concur with the moral standards of our church, a situation that can easily lend itself to gossip if we were unclear about the value of confidentiality.
I want to make certain rumors do not get transmitted via church council, staff, or any other gathering of leaders.
Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
