Leader's Insight: Alone with God

“Look at this, Chuck.” My mechanic held the radiator hose he had just taken off my car.

He pointed to cracks in the rubber on the inside and also to frayed edges on some of the belts. “I’d feel a lot better with these replaced before you take your trip. Preventive maintenance keeps trouble from happening down the road.”

Most of us in ministry appear to be doing fine, but I wonder how many have frayed edges and subtle cracks. Without proper attention, we risk trouble down the road.

My dad, a ministry veteran, often reminded me that he was forced to slow down after a heart attack. He gave me not so subtle warnings as well. I knew he was right, but what concerned me was not the heart but the soul and spirit. I feared problems in areas no EKG would detect.

Putting a retreat in my Daytimer wasn’t without a struggle. I had gotten away for as much as 48 hours before. But ten days? Never. I approached the elders. They approved. With the affirmation of my wife and family, I took off for ten days alone in a mountain cabin in the Poconos.

Reflecting on my time there, here are my suggestions for anyone considering a retreat.

You need extended time

For the first three days, I dozed off when I tried to read the Bible. I caught myself staring into the woods in a zombie-like trance. My physical, emotional, and spiritual circuits needed time “off-line,” but my activist temperament rebelled. This is ridiculous. What will I have to show for the time if I haven’t journaled, can’t keep my mind on what I am reading, and don’t feel like praying? I can’t just sit here.

But I did. Not all things in life can be measured or should be measured.

I was reminded of the Indian guides who said to western missionaries as they paused along a tropical trail, “We are giving time for our spirits to catch up with our bodies.” Your time away must be long enough for you to completely disengage from daily pressures before you can begin the process of retooling and rekindling.

Find a secluded place

This was not a time to indulge my love for outdoor recreation. My focus was on hearing from God, debriefing my inner world, and coming to a fuller and deeper intimacy with the members of the Trinity.

Solitude sounds like a death sentence to some people, particularly those who are energized by being around others. But for the introvert or contemplative, it is a release. Temperament aside, there may be something about the wilderness that favors the eye of God in ways we don’t realize. Moses spent forty years in the wilderness. Paul spent three years in the desert, and Jesus forty days.

Solitude invites entry to the soul, a discipline that even the ancients knew unlocked the spirit. Solitude is a place where the Creator can speak with less interruption.

It was that for me. I took enough supplies so it would not be necessary to see another human for the duration.

Plan to fast (not just food)

I resolved to fast the first three days for all the spiritual and physiological reasons, and I take it by faith that it was beneficial. But fasting from food is only a start.

For a couple of days, I flicked on the television to see the news. It was distracting. I swore off TV for several days.

Toward the end of the retreat I thought I should catch up with the outside world. The newscaster’s first words were, “The following is a report on nudity at the Jersey shore.” I should have turned it off immediately. My mind didn’t need that stimulation. The pictures it conjured ran counter to my spiritual objectives. The adversary prowls about with his sly devices. The TV stayed off the rest of the time.

I fasted from taking a box of books and determined that this would be a time to brood on the Word. I read through books of the Bible nonstop. I meditated on sections that caught my heart and allowed God’s Spirit to speak. Later I journaled.

Adopt no hidden projects

A retreat for sermon planning is worthwhile, but I wanted this to be a time for God to work on me. This was to be self-exposure—asking God to give me a thorough spiritual examination from head to toe. I prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart. See if there be any wicked way in me.”

Sometimes I got sidetracked. I captured ideas for ministry and sermons and wrote them down for future consideration. Keeping other audiences at bay was no small challenge. I resolved to listen and apply discovered truths to myself.

Create worship times

I did not take a vow of silence. Worship music was a tonic to my soul. I reveled in the majesty of God—pondering the ways of an ant, observing the doe and her fawn, peering for hours into the foliage canopy overhead, admiring the clouds. The outdoors became a theater staging God’s glory.

After breaking from the routines of life during the first couple of days, I moved into a rhythm of worship, Scripture reading, exercising, journaling, and reading a little from other books.

I concluded each day by reviewing the insights God gave. That cemented them into my subconscious for the night. After several days I found that my first waking thoughts were much more God-oriented than I normally experienced.

By the end of my retreat, I could have easily stayed longer. Discoveries were coming for my spiritual life and ministry and I felt renewed health. My retreat carried no guarantees, but I may have prevented some trouble down the road by inviting my soul’s creator to do a thorough inspection.

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