How Am I Doing?

“How did it go?” “How was the sermon?” “What did you think of the service?” “How effective was our worship?

I was at a combination conference/workshop for a new spiritual formation tool last week, and Dallas Willard was one of the presenters. He talked about the near obsession forming in churches around evaluation. He said he had finished speaking at a church recently, and had hardly walked off the stage before people wanted to talk with him about “how the talk went.”

Perhaps we are not really in a position to know “how it went,” he said. Maybe only God really knows.

This got me to thinking about the whole issue of evaluation and church ministry.

On one hand, some people refuse to ask any questions about effectiveness at all, on the grounds that facing up to ineffectiveness would just be too painful. They run on the “if I can help one fainting sparrow back to the nest, it will all have been worth it” standard, a standard by which it is very hard to fail.

If I’m not good at something, it’s best to find it out clearly and early, grieve my inadequacy, and move on to more fertile possibilities. How many congregations—and pastors—and pastor’s spouses—live in misery year after year because someone won’t face the truth about where their gifts do and do not lie. How many of us don’t grow because we are afraid of honest feedback. Truth is always our friend.

On the other hand …

Is there anything we don’t evaluate to death? And I suspect the reason is that we are desperate to make sure we are perceived to be successful.

Yea, though we walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Performance, we will take another survey.

We live under the tyranny of outcomes. And just a hair behind the word outcomes is its close relative: success. And close by success is Cousin Ego. And then I’m back in full addiction mode with all the forces I was supposed to have died to.

(How are you liking the column so far? I think its going pretty well.)

I was reminded of those little voter-tracker-instant-graph-analysis devices used during the last presidential debates. It’s now possible to rate a crowd’s response—not just to a candidate’s performance in the debate overall—but every moment. You can see exactly where you lose them.

How long before those are available in churches? If they’re not being sold yet, I call dibs right now. HomiLetusGuideYou.com.

I find myself wondering how different biblical characters handled evaluating their ministry efforts. Jeremiah, for example. “But as soon as Jeremiah had finished telling the people all that the Lord had commanded him, the priests, the prophets, and all the people seized him saying, ‘You must die!'” Bet he didn’t wonder if he’d get invited back to that conference.

I find myself wondering, If God had a little tracker, how would he be rating what we say and how we preach and ‘how the service went? Isn’t that the tracker that really matters? Do I spend much time thinking about “how the service went” in heaven’s eyes?

Dallas mentioned that he and his wife, Jane, talked recently about how, fifty years ago, they never asked the question Is this minister successful? But now it is the air we breathe.

Set your mind on things above, said Paul. For you died (this is the hard part. It means giving up running on all that applause when things go well), and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, is revealed, then your life will be revealed with him in glory.

How did my ministry go? Was that opportunity wasted or well spent? How did my life turn out? I don’t know. God only knows. But one day I will see it. And what is salvageable will have been redeemed, transformed, resurrected by Jesus. And it will be glorious.

So here’s a thought. As a spiritual discipline, go one week without evaluating anything. Not the service. Not the sermon. Not the cleanliness of the bathrooms. Nothing. Just offer it to God. Ask Him how He rated things. Be open. Be loved.

Or, if you never evaluate, as a spiritual discipline, this week get some wise discerning honest people and actually DO an evaluation. Ask what they think God sees. See what happens to you when you get painful feedback. See if it kills you.

Then—let it go. Carry no burden. Divorce your ego from your output. Be free.

Anyway, those are some thoughts prompted by Dallas.

When Dallas finished talking, his presentation graded out at a nine-seven, which was the second-highest rated talk all week.

So, what do you think of this column?

A. Inspired! Put it in the Bible! Take out James!

B. Blows chunks!

C. Beats me …

John Ortberg is editor at large of Leadership and pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian Church in Menlo Park, California.