A couple weeks ago, we talked here about reasons you’ll want to leave a ministry position but shouldn’t. Today we’re publishing a condensed version of an article, excerpted from When It’s Time to Leave, that takes the opposite approach: when you should leave, or at least consider it. If you want to see the full version of this piece, and several related articles, download our training tool here.
1. Incompatibility.
Good church, good pastor, but a bad fit. The congregation needs a form of pastoral leadership that the sitting pastor does not possess. Take, for example, the pastor who is entrepreneurial by instinct (read “visionary” or “passionate for growth”). The congregation, on the other hand, seeks a pause in the outward look. They want to build their sense of community and concentrate on spiritual development for a while (not always an inappropriate decision). Both pastor and congregation develop a suspicion of the other’s agenda, and no amount of mutual reflection brings about convergence.
2. Immobility.
The congregation has become trapped in an ecclesiastical whirlpool–lots of programmatic motion but little sense of direction. By subtle control, some dominant church members quietly (or not so quietly) stymie every pastoral initiative. Fresh leadership is shrewdly neutralized. There is an inescapable sense that the congregation is a closed community that plays church as a way of meeting the social needs of its constituents.
3. Organizational transition.
Healthy organizations inevitably reach growth points where a new kind of leadership becomes necessary. Not every pastor can adapt. For example, good church planters are often “ungifted” in helping a church move beyond the 150-200 mark, where a different administrative skill is required. A wise and humble pastor learns for which era of church life he is best suited.
4. Stagnancy.
Sometimes pastors conclude that they can no longer personally develop in giftedness or leadership effectiveness in their present situation. A pastor’s mind, compassionate heart, and unique spiritual gifts are his “stock in trade.” They must be in a constant state of enhancement. When a congregation prevents its pastor’s personal growth, the result will be boredom and mediocrity for everyone.
Among the things I appreciated about the Grace Chapel congregation where I served was its love for a provocative sermon. It created a healthy pressure on me to produce fresh insights and useful applications for their lives in the larger world beyond the church doors. If that expectation had been missing or if I had been unable to keep growing, I would have felt compelled to go over the side.
5. Fatigue.
While similar to stagnancy, there are important differences. In this case the ministry lacks a “renewing” component, and the pastor concludes that he or she is on continual spiritual-psychological-physical discharge.
Looking back, I feel I often created problems for myself by promising people more of myself than I was capable of delivering. In the end our congregation was too large; the programs were too many; the staff wanted more of me than I knew how to give. I grew weary of trying to please everyone–and often feeling as if I pleased no one. My problem, no one else’s.
The result, however, was exhaustion and disappointment. Sometimes a church’s leadership does not discern this dynamic, and it fails to protect its pastor or ensure that times of renewal are regular and effective. When the fatigue reaches the chronic stage, going over the side may be necessary.
6. Family morale.
Occasionally there comes a time when it’s impossible to ignore the fact that one’s spouse or children are being more harmed than helped by the present situation. No pastor can afford to sacrifice the family to unrealistic expectations of the congregation.
Perpetual financial suffocation is not a healthy thing. Living conditions that embitter children, or church contentiousness that constantly humiliates or demeans a pastor in front of his own family, are strong indications that a leave-decision is called for. Nothing has been gained if a pastor is successful in the church and a failure in the home.
7. Closings and openings.
This one–hopefully, the best of them all–is tricky and demands thoughtful, spiritual listening and the counsel of trusted advisors. One intuits that ministry in a particular church has reached a point of conclusion. Word comes that another congregation is seeking a pastoral leader. The new situation fits one’s sense of call and giftedness. There is a curious ambivalence: the grief of saying goodbye to people who are loved and yet the excitement of a new challenge. Creative juices begin to flow. The mind is caught up with the anticipation of a new beginning. The emotions leap. There is the concurrence of a spouse, a bishop, or trusted advisors. Most of all, one feels that God is in the decision.
8. The age factor.
There comes a time when a pastor can no longer keep up with the pace of ministry’s demands. Usually this reflects one’s age. An aging pastor faces the terrible temptation to hold on to the job too long. The love he has for the people and the love they have for him is life giving. To surrender the task to someone else is almost unthinkable because the person and the job have become indistinguishable. But not to surrender the job is almost sure to invite a sad period in which the pastor unintentionally damages much of the good that previously had been done.
