Pastors

What does it mean for a divorced couple to experience reconciliation? Why should church leaders support such a ministry?

Leadership Journal March 23, 2010

What does it mean for a divorced couple to experience reconciliation?

We were reconciled after a divorce that lasted more than a decade. Speaking from that experience, to have a second chance is absolutely indescribable. When we reconcile a relationship after separation or divorce, we defy the world’s odds and confound human wisdom. However, this is just what Christ came to earth to accomplish: that through the forgiveness God offered us in his Son, we might forgive one another.

Every broken marriage has the potential to be healed. Why? Because there is no relationship in such a bleak state of disrepair that it remains beyond God’s ability to restore it. Although reconciliation following a crisis, separation, or divorce takes commitment and hard work, it is possible. Each spouse must commit to an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ as his or her top priority. Their focus must be to be reconciled to God first, then to one another. Not only have we experienced the restoration of our own marriage following our divorce, but we’ve walked alongside other couples as they’ve repaired their relationships as well. Every couple who has engaged in the ongoing process of healing and restoring their marriage says the same thing: “Our relationship is far richer the second time around.”

Why should church leaders support a ministry of reconciliation?

The rising rate of divorce is tearing our nation in two. In order to turn the tide, we must give couples who have experienced repeated discord, separation, or even divorce the tangible tools to reconcile. If we implement a ministry of reconciliation in the local church, we can cultivate the complete restoration of a troubled marriage.

Couples who choose to reconcile after a marital crisis, separation, or divorce face a unique set of challenges, such as unresolved arguments and betrayed trust. These complications often hinder their healing, and temptations to toss in the towel may unexpectedly resurface. Instead of calling it quits, however, every church should offer a ministry of reconciliation to help couples work through these problems. The pastor can’t bear this burden alone. A trained team of first responders or marriage mentors must also be available to walk alongside and support couples. While the world dangles divorce as the only option to a troubled marriage, the church is the perfect place to demonstrate a better way.

In our work as marriage missionaries, we travel across the nation on 40-Day Marriage Mission Trips, sharing our testimony of reconciliation and teaching couples how to reconcile and restore their marriages. We firmly believe that pursuing and extending forgiveness and nurturing reconciliation will heal our nation. It’s high time to take back the territory of marriage and family for God! For more information on our 40-Day Marriage Mission Trips, visit www.inverseministries.org.

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