Many church leaders are not naturally good peacemakers. Because of our fallen nature, we tend to respond to conflict either as people-pleasers or controllers.
People-pleasing leaders prefer to deny, minimize, or cover up conflict. They tend to pacify people by telling them what they want to hear, and often try to counsel others through a sermon rather than talking face to face. While these tactics may postpone confrontation for a while, unresolved issues usually build up over time. They can result in a steady exodus from the church and, eventually, devastating division.
Controlling leaders prefer to attack conflict (and people) head on. They tend to be quick to speak and slow to listen. They are often adept at behind-the-scenes political maneuvering. Instead of seeking understanding and gracious compromise, they frequently divide the church into polarized factions. Controlling leaders may suppress opposition for years, but many of them are suddenly swept away by a conflict they can no longer control.
The solution to these two extremes is to ask God to transform us into peacemaking leaders. As we study the example of Jesus and ask God to make us more like him, we can put on the strength and courage of a shepherd, so that pleasing God and protecting the flock are more important than pleasing people. We can learn to speak the truth in love, to address conflict and face difficult issues, and to work together toward agreement and reconciliation in biblically faithful ways.
If our tendency is to control people, God can give us the humility and compassion of a shepherd, so that serving people is more rewarding than controlling them. As He makes us more and more like his Son, we can learn the joy and effectiveness of leading others through conflict by being gentle, quick to see our own faults, and adept at finding creative solutions that strengthen relationships and build true peace and unity.
Most Christians are longing to be led by humble, wise, and courageous leaders. By God’s grace, we can overcome our people-pleasing and controlling tendencies, and learn to follow the example of the perfect shepherd, our Lord Jesus Christ.
For more insights on becoming a peacemaking leader, see the DVD study guide The Leadership Opportunity.
