When involved in a counseling situation, there are several assessments that need to be made to determine if and when to refer:
Ability. It is tempting to get caught up in the desire to help someone and to try to deal with issues that are beyond your experience. Be honest with yourself: “Do I know what I am looking at here? Have I been trained in how to handle this?” Grief that intensifies over time, prolonged depression, hearing voices, and substance abuse are among the issues that should signal the need to refer.
Time. Even when you are not out of your depth in a particular area, an important question is, “How much time do I have to invest?” When a staff member who is not a counselor starts giving hours in counseling, it is at the least a drain from other areas of ministry. Any addiction is a long-term investment. Even if you have the background and ability to handle that, you may not be able to afford the time commitment. Personally, I set a limit on how many times I will see anyone for counseling. I suggest this limit to my staff, excluding those who are actually counselors. My stance is that if I cannot adequately address the person’s needs in three sessions, then I need to refer to a professional.
Prevention. Is the counseling preventative? This would include premarital sessions as well as counseling through life situations such as empty nest, retirement, and a new baby. My counseling colleague encourages most pastors to focus on preventative counseling because it is usually the most helpful, and a great investment of their ministry time. So while you can refer these types of things, they generally have an expiration date and a pastorally positive outcome.
Referral. The most important thing to consider is your ability to refer to a counselor you trust. A referral can do more harm that good if the counselor recommends something contrary to what you believe. It is worth whatever investment you make to get to know the counselors in your area. Find out their specialties and try to get names of other counselors they recommend.
