To keep our marriage fortified amid the fast pace of life and closely connected during the busy seasons of ministry, we have three tools to help us make certain that we are connecting daily, weekly, and quarterly.
Daily Connection: Of the utmost importance are our individual, intimate times alone with Christ. Individually spending time in God’s Word, praying, and journaling each day are non-negotiable standards in our marriage. In addition, we don’t leave the house in the morning without taking each other’s hand and praying together for protection. This prayer only takes about two minutes, but it significantly impacts our entire day and keeps us functioning in a “team of two” mindset.
Weekly Connection: Every Sunday evening at 7:30 we meet on our living room sofa to spend time in God’s Word together. We each take turns leading this weekly devotional time, which lasts about one hour. Our time together consists of reading a Scripture passage and then talking about its application to our marriage. This isn’t a time to debate the Word. It’s a time to get real and dig in together. After we read and discuss some Scripture, we lay out our calendars for the coming week and look for any “hot spots.” This review of our calendars keeps us from over-committing our schedules, which can so easily happen in ministry. The last thing we do together is make a list of prayer requests regarding our friends and family. We also ask each other how we can be praying for one another during the week. All of these things are written down into our individual journals. Finally, we close our devotional time by praying together. Taking one hour out of our schedules each week to align our marriage to God’s Word helps us make sure that our relationship doesn’t grow stagnant or distant.
Quarterly Connection: Once each quarter, we take what we call a mini-marriage retreat. The most important thing about these getaways is that we shut off our cell phones and computers and spend quality time setting goals for our marriage in seven different areas: spiritual, family/relationships, health/fitness, home, finances, career, and big dreams and possibilities. Each time we go away together with God, we look back three months (at the goals set during the previous retreat) and we thank God for helping us achieve those goals and for helping our relationship grow. Then, we look ahead three months and ask God to help us set new goals in each of the seven areas. We’ve now taken twenty-eight of these retreats. Not only has God has blown the lid off our marriage—he has drawn us closer to Him and to each other.
There is no limit to what God can do when you faithfully and consistently commit to a similar standard of regular, intentional connection.
