I recently spent time with my niece, an adorable toddler who loves to talk. Although limited today by a vocabulary of less than a dozen words, she somehow mastered the word “why” relatively early. Maybe she figured out that when she uses that word, big people stop what they’re doing and talk with her.
Especially Uncle Dave (me).
After a kid’s cuteness fades, however, many adults feel frustrated with all those questions and neglect to stop what they’re doing to offer answers. Yes, this can even happen in children’s ministry. No volunteer, leader, or teacher is immune from this feeling.
Especially me.
While leading a third-grade boys small group discussion one Sunday morning, I saw that we had only a minute left and said, “Guys, let’s pray before your parents come from big church.” The lesson plan specifically called for a prayer, and our group had finished every other activity for the day.
Before I started the prayer, one boy asked, “Mr. Dave, how can God hear all the groups pray if everyone prays at the same time?”
Did I stop to address his question and explain that God has the ability to hear all prayers? No.
Did I take a moment and say that God has so much love for every person that he wants to listen to each of us? No.
Did the thought even enter my mind that this might be an opportune moment to discuss a spiritual topic of genuine interest to this boy and others in the group? No.
I maintained clear focus on the task in front of me and said, “Let’s not talk about that now because we need to pray.” After “Amen,” the parents arrived to pick up their kids—and that question never came back to mind until now.
That incident illustrates what happens when a question comes at a seemingly inconvenient time. A leader has the day’s lesson planned and a question might distract the group from the intended agenda. I know first-hand that frustration too frequently becomes the common, unfortunate reaction to unexpected questions. Strong task-orientation can leave little or no room for spontaneity—and questions, of course, tend to be spontaneous interruptions.
The solution is a conscious effort to welcome questions with enthusiasm, knowing that kids very often inquire because they have a desire to know or better understand. At its core, children’s ministry seeks to help kids know and better understand God. To that end, questions indicate progress and should always be taken seriously. A German proverb says, “To question a wise man is the beginning of wisdom.” Let’s resist the urge to feel frustrated when asked “Why?” for the umpteenth time or when sincere questions slow down—maybe even detour—a lesson or devotional.
In fact, let’s go so far as to be wary if a child never asks questions about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, heaven, or other spiritual topics—because that could mean a lack of interest or comprehension.
Willingness to spend a few extra moments to clarify concepts or provide further information might create an impact that extends for years—or an entire lifetime. But don’t take my word for it; read Megan’s testimony about becoming a Christian as a fourth-grader and pay special attention to her second sentence:
“I started going to church when I was in second grade. I had a really nice leader who answered a lot of my questions. Finally, in fourth grade, I admitted that I sin and believed that Jesus died for my sins. Then I asked Jesus to be my forever friend—and he still is.”
Questions often signal a faith turning-point because the questioner likely has an open, inquisitive mind about spiritual matters. So instead of frustration, feel excited—this might be the breakthrough moment you’ve prayed would happen. Who cares if you complete the lesson?
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This week’s article is adapted from the chapter “Expect Questions” in Leading Kids to Jesus (Zondervan).
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David Staal, senior editor of Today’s Children’s Ministry, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, Michigan, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin. Interested in David speaking at your event? Click here
©2010, David Staal
