There are several important keys to helping pastors preach more effectively about marriage:
Bring marriage to the forefront of the church. Healthy marriages impact every other aspect of a church’s culture. Conversely, marriages in crisis can be hurtful to the church and they can also completely burn out a pastor who tries to tackle them on his or her own. Tending to marriage as a priority from the pulpit means that marriage is a regular and consistent preaching subject.
Pastors should be willing to authentically unpack their own relationships with their spouses. Appropriate and tasteful disclosure of their own difficulties gives pastors more credibility with their congregations. The couples who sit in the pews need to know that their pastor struggles just like they do. Marriage isn’t easy, and couples need to know they have a leader who understands what they are dealing with on a day-to-day basis.
Pastors must be willing to touch on the dicey subjects, such as a lack of emotional intimacy, guarding against infidelity, spiritual incompatibility between spouses, anger and conflict resolution, sexual addiction, etc. If these are uncomfortable topics, there are many outstanding resources and ministries who can help, such as the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM).
Sometimes, the best way to preach on marriage is by allowing testimonies from saved marriages to be shared during worship services. Couples who have been through the fire and have risen together from the ash heap can effectively speak into the hearts of couples in the church. Through honest and authentic testimonies, the church can facilitate and nurture a culture of reconciliation.
Supporting marriage from the pulpit means that there is clear communication from the pastor regarding a plan to help struggling couples. Everyone needs to know that the church shares a common language in responding to couples in need. Everyone should know the church’s first response when a marriage is struggling. While direction must be a shared vision between church leadership and a marriage ministry team, the explanation of the church’s support system should be taught from the pulpit as well.
When marriages are healthy, the church is healthy, and a healthy church can change the world!
