Pastors

The Upside of Failure – “Experts in Weakness”

Could your leadership “weaknesses” really be your strengths?

Leadership Journal April 10, 2014

Friends – Enjoy this excerpt from PARSE regular Mandy Smith's recent essay for Leadership Journal's April issue on "The Upside of Failure." Be sure to read the full piece here, and check out the full issue on this very timely topic. -Paul

The week I stepped into my new role as co-lead pastor, I attended a major convention for Christian leaders. I went with an open heart, hoping it would equip me for all that was ahead in my new ministry. It certainly did. But not in the way I expected.

As far as I could tell, no one in this huge gathering of church leaders looked or sounded or thought like me.

The more workshops I attended and bookstands I perused, the stranger I felt. Suddenly I was an artist at a business convention, an introvert at an extrovert's gathering, a foreigner at an American event, a woman in a man's world. Everything that was going on there was good and godly and helpful to many … but it was not much help to me.

The programs and metrics didn't resonate with me. The assumptions didn't include me (statements like "leaders will be motivated by … " and "your church wants a man who … ") As far as I could tell, no one in this huge gathering of church leaders looked or sounded or thought like me. I hadn't gone with a chip on my shoulder, expecting to be marginalized. In fact, it was my expectation to be welcomed and included. Disillusioned, I fled to my hotel room, where I told God, "This job isn't for me. I have nothing to give. You've made a mistake."

I began my new phase of leadership with a mental map of the cavernous emptiness within.

The realization was so disturbing to me—after years of education and prayer and preparation for this role—that for the next 24 hours I couldn't leave that little hotel room. It's a blur to me now, but my memories of it include tears, retching, fitful sleep, and the kind of prayer that scrapes your insides on its way out. In the middle of my despair, God's voice was, as usual, assuring but vague: "A broken and contrite spirit I will not despise … In your weakness I am strong."

And so, I began my new phase of leadership, not with assurances of my great ability but with a mental map of the cavernous emptiness within…

Sound familiar? Read the full piece to see how Mandy learned to "pastor from a strange place."

Our Latest

News

Gateway Church Founder Robert Morris Pleads Guilty to Child Sex Abuse

The criminal conviction comes decades after the abuse and a year after the survivor shared her account online.

The Just Life with Benjamin Watson

Cornel West: Justice, Not Revenge

Exploring how love grounds justice, courage resists fear, and faith shapes public action.

News

Survey: Evangelicals Contradict Their Own Convictions

A new State of Theology report shows consensus around core beliefs but also lots of confusion.

A Quiet Life Sets Up a Loud Testimony

Excellence and steady faithfulness may win the culture war.

Public Theology Project

What Horror Stories Can (and Cannot) Tell Us About the World

We want meaning and resolution—and the kind of monster we can defeat.

Welcome to Youth Ministry! Time to Talk about Anime.

Japanese animation has become a media mainstay among Gen Z. You may not “get” it, but the zoomers at your church sure do.

Review

‘One Battle After Another’ Is No Way to Live

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, the new film from Paul Thomas Anderson plays out the dangers of extremism.

Apple PodcastsDown ArrowDown ArrowDown Arrowarrow_left_altLeft ArrowLeft ArrowRight ArrowRight ArrowRight Arrowarrow_up_altUp ArrowUp ArrowAvailable at Amazoncaret-downCloseCloseEmailEmailExpandExpandExternalExternalFacebookfacebook-squareGiftGiftGooglegoogleGoogle KeephamburgerInstagraminstagram-squareLinkLinklinkedin-squareListenListenListenChristianity TodayCT Creative Studio Logologo_orgMegaphoneMenuMenupausePinterestPlayPlayPocketPodcastRSSRSSSaveSaveSaveSearchSearchsearchSpotifyStitcherTelegramTable of ContentsTable of Contentstwitter-squareWhatsAppXYouTubeYouTube