Today's interview is with Shawn Harrison, author of Ministering to Gay Teenagers. Shawn is a pastor in Ohio, where he helps pastor Greenville Christian and Missionary Alliance Church. Today, we talk with Shawn about his struggle with same-sex attraction, finding freedom in Christ, and loving people like Christ did.
1) Your ministry to the gay community was born out of your own struggle with same-sex attraction. Will you tell us a little about your journey?
I was at a point in life where I knew I needed a change. I knew that if this change didn't occur, I would end up dead. When I came to Christ, I wasn't looking to become straight. I was desperate and looking for hope.
Shortly after becoming a Christian, I began seeking spiritual guidance from friends and ministries about my journey with Christ. If I was going to be a Christian, I wanted to make sure my life reflected Christ. It became apparent that I needed to surrender my sexuality to Christ. However, I was finding this to be more difficult than I anticipated. I prayed to become straight, but didn't. In fact, it seemed the more I tried to be straight, the more attracted to guys I became. During this period, I reasoned that it was possible to lead a double life. I was a "good Christian guy," but I had a side I refused to let others see. Things came to a crash in the summer of 2000. Through a series of events, I saw everything I had built up and hidden be torn down and exposed.
I began to see that my identity had been wrapped up in my sexuality rather than Christ. God was calling me to rely on him, and not quick fixes. His goodness did not hinge on how he answered my prayers. I found contentment in who Christ is and who I am in him.
2) There is a growing number of Christians—such as Matthew Vines and others—who are saying that perhaps same-sex relationships can be compatible with biblical orthodoxy. What's your take?
I wanted the Bible to say that same-sex relationships were OK. I wanted the Bible proven wrong and my experiences justified. Ultimately, however, I couldn't say, "The passages addressing homosexuality were misinterpreted or translated incorrectly, but the rest of the Bible was accurate." Either all of God's Word was correct, or it wasn't. For a while, I took the latter approach. I justified my sexuality, and began questioning essential doctrines. If the translators got six passages about homosexuality wrong, what else did they mess up on?
God was not ashamed of me because I had same-sex attractions; rather he lavished his love upon me as his son. I wanted to align my life to his not because of force or guilt, but because of love.
The trouble I eventually ran into, though, was that I couldn't prove the Bible wrong. After much time with God in prayer and study, I began to rediscover God's love, the beauty and craziness of salvation, and to witness God's work in my life. Believing that God and his Word could be trusted, I began to understand that the passages about homosexuality still applied today. God wasn't condemning homosexuals; he was speaking against actions contrary to his calling. In seeing God as my heavenly Father, I began to experience his deep love for me, and though he didn't agree with everything I did, his love remained steadfast. God was not ashamed of me because I had same-sex attractions; rather he lavished his love upon me as his son (1 John 3:1). This was crucial for me to embrace. I wanted to align my life to his not because of force or guilt, but because of love.
3) Much of your ministry involves coaching Christian parents with a child who identifies as gay. What is your first piece of advice?
Trust God and love your child. God is so much bigger than this particular issue. He is greater than any trial we endure. This did not catch him by surprise, and he already knows how everything is going to turn out. God is asking us to trust him in the journey and with the outcome. The question is: Will you let him?
Your child is still the same child you birthed and raised. Now you just know something else about them. Love your child unconditionally.
Your child is still the same child you birthed and raised. Now you just know something else about them. Love your child unconditionally. Allow God to love you. In this journey, God is looking to transform everyone involved. Pray for your child. Hang out with them. Eat with them. Continue on with life. Allow God to work in your life and the life of your child.
4) Christians often wrestle with how to communicate both the grace and truth of the gospel, especially when it comes to this complex issue. Any advice to navigate the tension?
As the expression goes, the foot at the ground of the cross is level.
Loving someone like Christ doesn't mean we have to accept everything they do—Christ surely didn't. Rather, loving people like Christ means we love regardless of who they are, how they live, and even what they believe.
There are two types of people in this world: those who need to accept Christ as Savior, and those who need to grow closer to him in their walk. Every person from every background falls into one of these categories. We are all on the same journey. We may have different callings or different issues to deal with, but we are all on the journey towards Christ-likeness.
As Christians, we are to imitate the character of Christ, in every way towards every person. Loving someone like Christ doesn't mean we have to accept everything they do—Christ surely didn't. Rather, loving people like Christ means we love regardless of who they are, how they live, and even what they believe. As Christians, we need to listen more and speak less. Does this mean we stay silent all the time? No, there are definitely times to speak up. However, before we do so, ask, "Have I truly heard this person and their story? Have I heard from God on how to respond?"
5) It seems every church will face this issue. How can they communicate truth with the kindness that the gospel demands?
Here are some suggestions on helping churches to become restorative communities.
The church needs to understand its calling.
As a church we need to understand and acknowledge the hurt we've caused the LGBT community—whether intentional or not. We need to apologize and strive to change the atmosphere we've been ministering from for too long (i.e. that gay people are the enemy, that homosexuality is greater than any other sin, that gay people are less than straight people, etc.). We need to be communities of hope Christ called us to be.
As a church we need to understand and acknowledge the hurt we've caused the LGBT community—whether intentional or not. We need to apologize and strive to change the atmosphere we've been ministering from.
The church needs to aggressively love others.
We need to pursue those who are lost, and those who are struggling. We need to pursue them simply because Christ pursued us, and he calls us to follow suit. In everything we do, we need to practice radical hospitality. In Romans 12:13, when Paul calls Christians to practice hospitality, he's basically calling us to "pursue people with aggressive love." This is bold. This is risky.
The church needs to rethink the endpoint.
Heterosexual marriage is not the end goal for gay men and women. In fact, heterosexuality is not an end goal. The result of our life is Christ-likeness (holiness). He is the one we are to imitate, not one another's experiences. The church needs to hold up celibacy as being just as honorable as marriage. Neither is more spiritual than the other. Both choices are gifts, both are blessed by God, both are biblical, and both need the support of Christian communities.
The church needs to cultivate authentic community.
No one is supposed to be left out to fend for him or herself. We're told in 1 Peter that the enemy lurks around looking for someone to devour. A person off by themselves, away from the fold, is an easy target for the enemy. However, in a group, where people surround and care for one another, the enemy has a harder time picking people off. The church is called the body of Christ for a reason.
Where one suffers, we all suffer. Where one rejoices, we all rejoice.
Daniel Darling is vice-president of communications for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. He is the author of several books, including his latest, Activist Faith.
