Healthy organizations engage in honest conversations. This requires leaders who are willing to encourage discussions about topics that can cause a culture to capsize if ignored too long.
Over many years of working in, volunteering for, and observing multiple faith-based organizations—both churches and non-churches—I’ve witnessed many strange decisions and practices. Some were goofy but ultimately harmless, while others eventually created an unhealthy atmosphere. Full disclosure: I have been guilty of both kinds.
The worst violations are easy to target, such as blatantly immoral or illegal activities, but a multitude of subtle and seemingly justifiable acts lurk in the shadows. Big problems often begin as overlooked little issues that, over time, become culture norms. To avoid this from happening, don’t sidestep signs that these little issues exist. Talk about them. Such conversations keep the culture positive and healthy by shining lights on problem areas before darkness grabs hold.
For example, try this ice breaker: “Integrity above reproach” is a great standard, but how should this norm apply to more than just our finances? How are we doing as an organization with other areas of character that influence our culture? These two questions serve as excellent discussion primers for a leadership team.
But dive deeper.
Challenge the team to candidly engage the following if/then statements. They articulate situations that could inject some pretty ugly mojo into a culture if left ignored. While these should be ridiculously false statements, are they at all true in your organization?
1. If someone is an employee (or volunteer), then it’s okay to judge him or her. Call it an evaluation and all’s fair, right? Goal results and skill sets need periodic assessment, but how far should all this be allowed to go? For an even deeper dive: If someone is a supervisor , then it’s okay to judge him/her. Look external for a moment: If you call someone a heretic, write blogs or online articles, or just want to vent about Rob Bell, then it’s okay to be judgmental. No, masquerading such intentions in sarcasm or cynicism isn’t a loophole. Instead, call a mean and judgmental attitude what it is: wrong. Bottom line: Discuss how we’ll keep evaluations from becoming personal attacks.
2. If you participate in a meeting that includes discussion about staff, then it’s okay to gossip. After all, you never know what might prove helpful. The litmus test of “would that person be okay with you saying this?” will many times fail in a setting where honest conversation takes place to determine organizational changes. No one wants anything critical said about them. But there is a difference between what’s needed to make good decisions and words that damage a person’s reputation. Does anyone on this team ever say “we don’t need to know this” to end such comments? And of course, if you want a coworker(s) to know what to specifically pray for another coworker, then it’s okay to share personal information, right? And if you fire someone, then it must be okay to say anything at all about that person. Bottom line: How can we improve in exercising restraint on what we say about people?
3. If it will help accomplish a kingdom purpose, then it’s okay to stretch the truth. A clear difference exists between positioning positive aspects of a situation and lying to avoid discomfort or any other problem with reality. Often, the more complicated an explanation sounds, the more likely it has crossed the line. If anyone ever says “Better not tell_________ about this,” someone should shoot a signal flare. Anyone need the flare gun right now?
4. If another area’s budget goes up without good reason, then it’s okay to covet. After all, importance is measured in budget size and/or amount of increase, right? C’mon. Parents routinely receive dire warnings about the consequences associated with allowing sibling rivalry to exist. Churches and organizations constantly receive counsel to not compare sizes. So when department or ministry envy sprouts, shoot another flare—right at it. (Idea: offer a moment of venting and amnesty.)
5. If you plan to use it for God’s glory, then it’s okay to use what isn’t yours. Wait, doesn’t this stand in contrast to some well-known line about not stealing? The availability of content online doesn’t change this commandment. This one seems so obvious. So why is it so rampant? What do we need to do to get on the right side of this issue? (Note: It’s okay to cut and paste, or print, this article and share it with the team.)
6. If another organization or church competes with you, is different than you, or for some reason just irks you, then it’s okay to not consider them a neighbor. What a relief! Imagine what would happen if we were supposed to treat everyone else the way we want to be treated. Yikes! Ever notice how hard it is for some people to apologize, or to admit they’ve done something wrong? Now consider how many times an organization or church owns up to mistakes—big or small. Is there any relational work we need to initiate, or any admissions to make?
An annual check-up in these areas will keep your culture healthy. Why? A leadership team willing to dive into these issues sets a strong pace for all to see and follow.
David Staal, senior editor for Building Church Leaders and a mentor to a second grader, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. He also chairs the advisory board for a nearby college and served ten years in leadership for a local church. David is the author of Lessons Kids Need to Learn (Zondervan, 2012) and Words Kids Need to Hear (Zondervan, 2008). He lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky. His son Scott and daughter Erin attend Valparaiso University.
