Leadership requires communication like a flame requires oxygen. Too often, culture equates communication with public speaking, but that ultra-limited focus distracts attention from where a leader's best will make the most impact: day-to-day interactions with the team he or she leads. The time has come for straight talk that is not glamorous enough for books and conferences, yet far too important to ignore a moment longer.
To lead well, leaders must deliberately connect with people on their team. Easy, right? It should be, but many leaders unconsciously undermine their own effectiveness because their one-on-one communication is sloppy. Or random. Or strange. This will become important someday when the pain level rises. But why wait for the hurt to arrive?
The following everyday communication tips will serve as reliable tools for any leader regardless of setting. Use them and people will respond well, the team will achieve more, and you will enjoy the path toward increased responsibility. This list could serve as basic expectations for everyone in any organization, business, or church staff. But it all starts with the leader, right?
1. Listen to people longer than you really want to. Studies show a person will interrupt someone else, on average, after 17 seconds. Can you go at least twice that or more? The Bible says, "Be quick to listen and slow to speak." When you do, the person will feel heard and appreciated.
2. Keep the cell phone put away. To interact with a phone, even with just a glance, devalues the person you're with in that moment; a feeling that will last well past your conversation. Check a message during a meeting? Might as well rudely stand up and just leave—it has the same affect.
3. Respond quickly to requests, questions, and information sent to you. So how fast is fast enough? Answer: Send a response when you read the message. Even if the reply is a simple acknowledgement that you received the inquiry or information (i.e., "Got it. Will get back with you soon."). The subtle messages you send when you quickly respond: "I value you, and I have figured out how to manage my time so well that I can set a great communication example." A delayed response sends quite different messages.
4. When you go into someone's office, look at him or her the entire time. Avoid the temptation to let your eyes scan what's on the desk or computer screen. Rule of thumb: If you wonder if you do this, then you do. Give others the respect of your full attention. For anyone prone to this creepy habit, you can fight the urge by keeping a visit brief. Exception: make a big deal of any new family picture.
5. Look at a person when he or she comes into your office. And continue looking. Try minimizing whatever screen you're working on, or set papers aside. Let the phone ring, unless you can honestly say that you're expecting an important phone call. Develop comfort with saying you need to return to your work. Hint: place a clock behind the place where visitors typically pop in and stand or sit so you can continue to look in their direction and keep track of time.
6. Share information early (ideally before being asked) and often (ideally before being asked). But only if you agree to follow the next communication tip.
7. Be concise.
8. Develop a personal communication strategy that counts on accomplishing more through informal meetings than in formal gatherings. People will prefer this approach. Imagine how your team would respond to fewer meetings. The word "relief" comes to mind.
9. For younger leaders: Ask questions if you don't understand something. Never fake it. But don't come up with lame questions to appear interested.
10. Close discussions with quick checks: Does this make sense? Is this helpful? Do you feel comfortable with this decision?
Good communication requires more than what is on this list. However, these are ten principles that few people, if any, talk about. Consider using this list as a self-reflection exercise for a leadership team; a communications inventory that helps leaders diagnose their own weak spots.
Communicate well, lead well.
David Staal, senior editor for Building Church Leaders and a mentor to a second grader, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. He also chairs the advisory board for a nearby college and served ten years in leadership for a local church. David is the author of Lessons Kids Need to Learn (Zondervan, 2012) and Words Kids Need to Hear (Zondervan, 2008). He lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky. His son Scott and daughter Erin attend Valparaiso University.
