Resignation is one of the most under-discussed leadership topics. Why? Someday, at some point, more frequently than anyone will admit, every leader thinks about leaving—often with fantasies about going to an organization/church/team that's more _________ (fill in the blank).
Because people generally contemplate such change at times of high emotional volatility, few seek or receive objective input. Most who consider quitting seek support for their decision and for their rationale; they rarely seek unbiased wisdom, and few people offer it. After all, who wants to convince a friend to stay in a position when there's a chance it might make him or her miserable?
But that's not helpful. Sometimes resigning is a good idea, other times it isn't.
Distinguishing between those two requires some difficult self-introspection. As you work through this article, know that I:
A) Think about resigning,
B) Usually decide to stay,
C) Have made the decision to resign (more than once), and
D) Hire people and leads teams of folks who do A, B, and C. Some have made good decisions, but only some of them.
Let's assume you are at A; this article provides you with important realities and hard questions that you need to consider before making a decision. If someone forwarded this article to you, plan to thank him or her.
But before we dive into the tumultuous waters that follow, let's also admit that there are very real and logical reasons that would prompt anyone to resign. A list of those appears at the end of this article. They're relatively infrequent. Pure and simple dissatisfaction comprises the vast majority of all cases in which someone considers leaving, so let's jump in.
1. To begin, keep in mind that a resignation does not make a "statement" that lasts longer than a few hours. Why? Because the organization will hire someone to fill your spot, and will then move on. You, on the other hand, will live with your decision for a long time. Why? Because it's a personal decision, and you're the person who made it. Plus, it will appear on your resumé, LinkedIn profile, and any other employment-related tool. Conversely, the organization or church will quickly delete your name from the staff roster. Poof! You're gone. As your journey through life continues, potential and future employers—as well as your in-laws—will wonder what you did that made you need to quit. Try to explain that the organization or church was at fault, and the only thing others will hear is the sound of sour grapes. This is not easy to read, and neither is the next point. But wisdom often arrives in jagged pieces.
2. Resist the urge to over-spiritualize. It's just so coincidental that many people who experience big challenges or a downturn in results receive direction from God to leave. Maybe Jesus really didn't mean what he said about how we should expect to encounter tough times (John 16:33). Yes, there is a chance that God is nudging you toward a new opportunity that more fully deploys your gifts and talents. But is it possible that you are claiming divine direction to serve as a bullet-proof rationale for a decision that is circumstance-driven? Only you and God know for sure. For that reason alone, use caution when you use "calling."
3. If you're relatively new, then review why you're in this job and at this employer. Are the realities of the position and church/organization reasonably consistent with what you learned during the interview process? If so, consider that most roles—especially in leadership—require time to master, or at least to make a difference. A wise advisor recently told me that an organization's top leader hits stride after about five years. For those in positions short of the top, but still in leadership, a few years seems reasonable. So, have you truly put in enough roll-up-your-sleeves-and-get-something-done time, or are you bailing while still learning? Many people fail to approach a job with a "do whatever it takes" mentality and then wonder why everything doesn't fall in place for them. Stay long enough to possibly make a difference.
4. If you're a veteran, are you trying to eject from tough times? Or are you running away from problems or situations that you could have handled better? While leaving now might relieve short-term pain, you might feel long-term regret. The thought of stepping out of a place where you've poured your best into a mission you love should cause a ripping feeling inside you. So instead, commit to yourself that you'll only leave on an upswing—for the church or organization, for your team, and for you personally. That's asking a lot, but will serve your peace of mind and help you talk about your role in a positive manner—critical in future interviews. Let's apply even more brutal honesty: No one wants to hire someone who quits in tough times. No one. As another trusted advisor once said, "Using the 'sinking ship' argument backfires because people know that's when rats jump and the committed core help turn the vessel around." The good news: You determine if an upswing is taking place. Just be honest.
5. Being recruited? Let's jump over the "greener grass" cliché and land firmly in reality. Would it be a good move if all was going well in your current assignment? Compare the missions and realities of the potential new place with where you are now; is this new opportunity really a better fit, or is it simply different? More honest truth: sideways moves typically disappoint.
Or is it a money issue? Yes, you have to make responsible career decisions and earn a living. And a family increases that responsibility. However, I left a corporate career and took a 67 percent pay cut to join a church staff. Then I took a hefty decrease when I moved into my current nonprofit role. Most times, money is not a good reason to leave—or to stay.
In some cases a resignation is the right action. Those instances include:
- Your employer blatantly misled you prior to employment (as long as you've overtly raised this issue and nothing changed);
- You experience any abuse;
- You experience discrimination of any sort;
- A new opportunity will clearly helps you become closer to the person God made you to be (caution urged);
- Family issues arise that necessitate change;
- Your health has diminished and it's truly attributable to employment (in this case, please seek counseling);
- You feel certain you will lose your job soon, or that the place is going to shut down (leave on your terms);
- Fraud or misconduct takes place, not of your doing (run fast);
- Or, if you're amazing and my organization recruits you.
David Staal, senior editor for Building Church Leaders and a mentor to a second grader, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. He also chairs the advisory board for a nearby college and served ten years in leadership for a local church. David is the author of Lessons Kids Need to Learn (Zondervan, 2012) and Words Kids Need to Hear (Zondervan, 2008). He lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky. His son Scott and daughter Erin attend Valparaiso University.
