With the weight of the Supreme Court’s 5-4 decision to legalize same-sex marriage in all 50 states Friday, the church is likely not caught off-guard, and yet, many churches may be unprepared for the challenges they will face in the coming months.
From North Carolina’s magistrates fighting for a choice in the matter, to the frequent cases of prosecution toward small businesses who refuse services for religious reasons, the church is logically the next group who must decide how to handle the cultural shift.
Justice Anthony Kennedy attempted to allay fears when he wrote for the majority in “Obergefell v. Hodges” Friday:
Finally, it must be emphasized that religions, and those who adhere to religious doctrines, may continue to advocate with utmost, sincere conviction that, by divine precepts, same-sex marriage should not be condoned. The First Amendment ensures that religious organizations and persons are given proper protection as they seek to teach the principles that are so fulfilling and so central to their lives and faiths, and to their own deep aspirations to continue the family structure they have long revered.
But what should churches say to their congregants in the wake of the ruling? How are the shepherds of local congregations approaching the issue?
While maintaining a unified stance in favor of traditional marriage as a church body, many pastors are choosing to approach the issue one-on-one rather than from the pulpit.
A consistent biblical ethic
For many pastors, the difficulty is the way that they view the issue differently than many of their congregants.
At Church of the Resurrection, an Anglican church in Wheaton, Illinois, associate rector Kevin Miller says that he understands homosexuality traditionally, which is different than some of the younger individuals who approach him.
“People want to make it an abstract political issue,” Miller said. “As a pastor, you can’t do that. I have to theologically teach to the whole person.”
“People want to make it an abstract political issue,” Miller said. “As a pastor, you can’t do that. I have to theologically teach to the whole person.”
One of the phrases Miller has coined is “a culture of consistent sexual sacrifice,” referring to the fact that all Christians, not just those who struggle with same-sex attraction, are called to sacrifice in pursuit of sexual holiness.
Not only should pastors teach traditional marriage, but they should teach a holistic and consistent biblical ethic of sexuality and family to everyone.
“You earn the right to speak by maintaining a culture of consistent sexual sacrifice,” he said, referring to situations of divorce, any sex outside of marriage, and similar issues. “I do that for everyone else in the church.”
He added that clarity is the most important thing in communication: “You can’t do ministry if you’re not clear. This is a crucial time for clarity.”
A fresh urgency
In a piece for Christianity Today, Mark Galli writes that pastors will have to think again about how to handle a gay married couple with a desire to get involved in church:
It nearly goes without saying that we will welcome them unconditionally as we would anyone who walks in the door. But what does love look like in this particular instance? How much participation do we encourage before we ask them to adopt the Christian sexual ethic? Much of this depends on a church’s tradition and its beliefs about baptism, church membership, eldership, and so forth. But many evangelical churches do not have a denominational tradition to lean on and will need to think through these matters with fresh urgency.
Brad Williams, of New Covenant Baptist Church in Albertville, Alabama, is a pastor of one of those churches. Instead of preaching about the topic of homosexuality in light of the events, he said that he will interact with his 100 members as they come to him.
“I address the issue as the Bible comes to it,” Williams said about preaching, adding that he will approach the subject individually. “I’m certain it will be a topic of conversation.”
Still, Williams has already been addressing the issue with his congregation.
“If you start talking about it now, it's too late,” he said. “You should only be talking to calm people down. If you're trying to whip people into more of a frenzy, that's throwing gas on the fire.”
He’ll also monitor social media to better understand the reactions his members have.
“I’ll see how they handle it and reign it in if I need to,” Williams said. “This isn’t the worst thing that's ever happened. I’m going to gauge people and make sure they’re not manipulated by conservative or liberal media.”
To counteract the despair that some might hold in the coming days, Williams said he will “retweet positive things that leaders might say,” Facebook message them assurance – but most of all, continue the personal conversations on next steps for the church.
Not just doctrine, but posture
J.R. Briggs heads up The Renew Community in southeastern Pennsylvania, a church that alternates weekly between a large gathering and smaller communities in the home. For him, too, social media is important to watch.
Briggs is clear – his congregation will not avoid the hard conversations. In fact, his priority in shepherding the nearly 200 congregants seems to be focused on preparation and handling disagreements with kindness.
“Why is it that the more right I think I am, the less kind I have to be?” he said. “We train our church not just on doctrine, but on posture. When we react we often have regrets. We need to respond as a church, not reactionary. It’s more important to prepare than plan.”
Russell Moore, leader of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, writes that the way pastors preach must change.
“Following Jesus will mean taking up a cross and following a hard narrow way. It always does. If we’re going to preach that sort of gospel, we must make it clear that this cross-bearing self-denial isn’t just for homosexually-tempted Christians. It is for all of us, because that’s what the gospel is …
Same-sex marriage is headed for your community. This is no time for fear or outrage or politicizing. It’s a time for forgiven sinners, like us, to do what the people of Christ have always done. It’s time for us to point beyond our family values and our culture wars to the cross of Christ as we say: “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.”
Whether speaking the truth from the pulpit or over a cup of coffee, church leaders will need to decide how to best approach their congregation. This isn’t the first decision to heavily affect church culture, and it won’t be the last. But with communication, leaders can make steps toward unity in the midst of turmoil.
Kara Bettis is a Raleigh, North Carolina reporter and a regular freelancer for Relevant Magazine, Christ and Pop Culture, and others. She is on Twitter as @karabettis.
