You’d be excused for staring. It’s not every day a friendship flourishes between an evangelical leader and an openly gay politician. But that’s exactly what happened between Kevin Palau and Sam Adams. Palau, president of the Luis Palau Association, an Oregon-based evangelistic ministry, wanted to work with someone in the local government to serve neighborhoods in Portland. That’s when he met Sam Adams, who would soon become Portland’s mayor, the first openly gay mayor of a major American city.
Palau and Adams don’t agree on everything, but they share a love for the city of Portland and a desire to see it thrive. And their partnership has paid off. Today, CityServe, the Palau Association’s initiative that brings churches together to serve their communities, includes clothing, mentoring, sports, and beautification programs. There are now 250 church-school partnerships in the Portland area. The churches of Portland have also partnered with the city to fight homelessness, human trafficking, and hunger. Today Adams works for the World Resources Institute in Washington D.C. but their friendship has stayed strong. We talked to both men about Palau’s new book Unlikely: Setting Aside Our Differences to Live Out the Gospel (Simon & Schuster) and what they’ve been able to accomplish despite their differences.
Do you look at one another and feel that this relationship is unlikely?
Kevin Palau: We’re genuinely good friends, and it doesn’t seem unlikely at all. I understand why it seems unlikely. And, as a follower of Jesus, it makes me sad that these relationships are considered unlikely. Jesus was regularly taken to task for the relationships he built with people that made some uncomfortable. When you have a solid friendship, you can disagree respectfully. You can talk honestly about those things. And it doesn’t stop you from working together for the many other things you do agree on. Sam and I love to champion what’s happening in Portland. It’s just good for everybody to have these friendships form, even if they seem unlikely.
Sam Adams: I think we’re conditioned by mass media to see such friendships as unlikely. Accentuating the differences in society creates more viewers and page views. Sure, there are real differences, but there are a lot of people doing good work in unlikely partnerships. They’re ignoring the false choice that says you have to completely agree on everything in order to have a friendship and take joint action. If we don’t get past our disagreements, it holds us back from accomplishing a lot of good in the world.
Palau: From the evangelical perspective, we shouldn’t feel we are compromising our scriptural convictions by being friends with a variety of people. We stand to gain so much from the relationships. Sam totally gets what the Palau Association is trying to do. He’s been to New York City three times with me, helping tell the story, which has helped open the door for CityServe. Sam gets the evangelical spirit of wanting to share the Good News of Jesus Christ. I have to admit I was embarrassed the first time Sam gently pointed out to me the price he’s paid for our friendship. I wasn’t getting attacked or getting a lot of pressure. But it hasn’t been that easy for Sam.
Dan Harris of ABC News interviews Portland Mayor Sam Adams and Kevin Palau, President of the Luis Palau Association.You had a different experience, Sam?
Adams: Somewhat different, especially from the LGBT community. When we started this, the LGBT community was experiencing a lot of legal successes for marriage equality at a state level—and people were pushing back. There were some pretty vitriolic ballot measures here in Oregon. There was a lot of hurt, so I expected I’d get some criticism. It was actually less than I expected, but it was still more than Kevin was experiencing. I think that’s part of being honest about these partnerships, these joint efforts, these friendships. Kevin and the folks that we worked with, especially the local city where I spent the most time, were incredibly openhearted. They worked with the LGBT community to have those conversations and admit when mistakes had been made.
Sam, as you move to Washington, D.C., and to a whole new arena of work, will you look to evangelicals as potential partners?
Adams: Absolutely. This has been humbling and incredibly important to me. It’s been humbling because it opened my eyes to how unconsciously I bought into a whole bunch of stereotypes about the evangelical community. That has opened me up to new potential partnerships with evangelicals in the future.
Palau: I think we evangelicals are just now figuring out how to function in this new social reality, where the tables have turned. Many evangelicals are genuinely frightened. Some might be just stirring things up because they don’t know what to do. But some are genuinely fearful. They think now we’re going to lose all our rights. We’re not even going to be able to preach from the pulpit. There’s always the initial flurry of overstatement and over-concern. And it’s often based on a genuine fear. It will be interesting to see the responses in the days ahead. I think we have a great opportunity to react in a different way than people expect, to not be so angry all the time. Now things have turned and evangelicals aren’t in the driver’s seat. It’s not the worst place to be.
Adams: There have long been disagreements between gay rights advocates and evangelicals. The Supreme Court ruling is a significant step forward in terms of marriage equality. But how magnanimous will we be? It could be an opening for new partnerships.
Palau: It would be such a blessing for the country for there to be more LGBT leaders like Sam, who are so eager for partnership and relationship and willing to say, “We’ve won these different rights. Are we going to be magnanimous? Are we going to be tolerant in a way that doesn’t fight with a scorch earth policy and say, “Unless every one of these churches are fully open and affirming and will perform gay or lesbian weddings, they’re still the enemy.”
Adams: I believe we will be magnanimous. The next natural wave in the issue around gay rights is religious liberty.
What principles are transferrable from this experience?
Adams: You’ve got to decide to devote your efforts and time to progress, to creating positive results. You’ve got to feel more passion about that than you do about dwelling on your differences. I try to look for opportunities to make a positive difference with everyone I meet and on every issue that I find important.
Palau: You’re going to have an actual chance to talk about the things you’re passionate about. I want to have the opportunity. I’m so passionate about my faith. This is the greatest news ever. I think a relationship with Jesus changes everything. That’s what I want to share. How else are you ever going to share that apart from genuine friendship even when there are disagreements? Friendship means you can disagree respectfully. I think people need to see how you disagree respectfully. The other principle: don’t let differences stop you from acting on the common ground you have. Sam and I have great conversations about all kinds of stuff. I can go to Sam and ask genuine questions and he’ll help me.
Some people have called your partnership the “Portland model.” What do you think?
Adams: I actually like that because to me it’s a simple way to say something. It was the Palau Organization, on behalf of the evangelical community, that reached out their hand first. And we grabbed it. None of this would have happened had not that hand been outstretched first. Honestly I don’t think I would have gone to the evangelical community and said, “Hey, let’s do this thing called CityServe.”
Palau: We may have extended a hand, but someone had to take it. Now Sam and I have flown around the country to tell the story. I think when people can see a working model it’s somehow a little different than if they read a scholarly article about the theory of social interaction and dynamics. Seeing it in action helps them understand that it’s doable.
This partnership changed the lives of potentially thousands. The impact on schools is huge. How does it feel?
Adams: It’s incredibly rewarding. It was so unique, unlike other community groups we’d partnered with in the past. Here you had two partners who hadn’t gotten together: the evangelical community and the liberal local government. It is incredibly heartwarming, and gratifying. The work was not held hostage to a stereotype or disagreements. I continue to reflect on that and apply it in all areas of my life.
Palau: I’m eager to see it continue and develop in many other cities. It is encouraging. In New York City there’s an effort to do something similar. But it’s not like we invented community service. Tons of good things are happening everywhere.
As Christ followers aren’t we supposed to do all these things? Shouldn’t we be the ones stepping into the breach and trying to build these kinds of unlikely partnerships? Practically meeting people’s needs and opening doors of conversation to share the message of Jesus? Those are things near and dear to any evangelical’s heart.
Paul J. Pastor is a contributing editor to Leadership Journal. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife and three children.
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