Matthew 16:24
The road to joy, for Jesus, ran through Jerusalem. It was a path of self-denial, sacrifice, and death—before it was the passage into joy, redemption, and glory.
So it is for all who would follow in his steps. To walk with Jesus is to take the way of the Cross. To enter his kingdom is to knowingly and willingly choose the joy of self-denial.
How can we say the “joy” of self-denial? True joy doesn’t take the long way around pain; it doesn’t take a shortcut toward glory. True joy moves through hardship. True joy goes with Jesus through Jerusalem. The way is narrow, and the gate is small, but freedom and joy await the disciple who stays on the path.
Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24). This is rightly understood to be one of Jesus’ most intimidating challenges. But it is also one of his most subversive invitations. “Get off the road that leads to death,” he’s saying. “Choose instead this unexpected way to the good life—through denying and dying to self.”
Indeed, our denial is an essential step in becoming like Jesus. Dallas Willard wrote that “a shift toward self-denial is needed to reorder the … human self in subordination to God. … Christian spiritual formation rests on this indispensable foundation of death to self and cannot proceed except insofar as that foundation is being firmly laid and sustained.” What is the self-life that is being denied and laid down? It is the old self which needs to be put off. It is the old life that wasn’t so appealing anyway.
To deny ourselves and follow Jesus is the most freeing and wonderful thing; it is to let go of what wasn’t working in the first place. The new, selfless life that takes its place is the truly good life—a new heart devoted to God, a life of honesty, vulnerability, acceptance, friendship, communion, and purpose.
To be sure, self-denial is not the same as self-rejection. Self-rejection occurs when the soul says to itself, “See, everyone was right. I’m an awful person. I’m a failure and a mistake.” Self-rejection also says, “I am not so secure in myself, so I must rise and prove myself, must fight and defend myself.” This is not the way of Jesus, and it’s not self-denial. It is a rejection of what God has made and declared good. How do we know when we are practicing self-rejection and not self-denial? Self-rejection leads to shame, hiding, and self-criticism. It also makes us critical and demanding toward others. (We’re critical of others when we believe God is critical toward us.)
Self-denial, on the other hand, leads to a joyful submission to the Father. It is the freedom to reject the ways of the world—its anger, greed, and envy. Self-denial is an active choice to become like Jesus in his radical inner simplicity and wholehearted devotion to the Father. It is what the late Tim Keller called a “blessed self-forgetfulness.”
And unlike self-rejection, self-denial frees us to love and serve others purely. (We’re merciful toward others when we believe God is merciful toward us.)
Self-denial, then, is both the most difficult thing in the Christian life and the simplest. Laying down our lives can’t happen just once; it’s a complete surrender we make moment by moment, every day. Only if we truly embrace Jesus’ self-denying, non-defensive death on the cross can we believe we are accepted into his Father’s delight.
Yet in this tension of challenge and invitation, remember who supplies the strength and wisdom for a life of self-denial. It is Jesus. He provides all we need to follow in his self-giving love—namely, his Spirit. As we abide in him, walking by his Spirit, we come out with complete joy (John 15:11).
In a world consumed with earning, showing, and defending, self-denial seems like a radical and dangerous thing. But in the right-side-up kingdom of Jesus, it is the safest, simplest, and happiest place. In him, we lack nothing and have everything. Will you receive it? Will you deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus into full and eternal joy?
Lord Jesus, thank you that you are with me. I did not choose you, but you chose me and appointed me to die to myself and take up your life. Grant me your strength and wisdom to choose this life, not just once, but every moment. My life is yours. Lead me, by your Spirit and your self-giving love, into everlasting joy.
Jeremy Linneman (DMin Covenant Theological Seminary) serves as lead pastor of Trinity Community Church in Columbia, Missouri. He’s the author of Pour Out Your Heart: Discovering Joy, Strength, and Intimacy with God through Prayer. Jeremy and his wife, Jessie, have three sons.
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