(LOCALE:) The Alpha State Medical Society

(OCCASION:) Annual Banquet

Conversation overheard at table:

First Pediatrician: “Have any of the babies, delivered by that upstart obstetrician, Dr. Graham, come your way?”

Second Pediatrician: “Yes, and I’m completely puzzled as to what to do. I never saw such a conglomeration. Why, some of these babies suck their thumbs, others seem confused, and others have awfully poor feeding habits.”

1st Ped.—“I know just how you feel. What burns me up is all the publicity this man gets; and he has written a number of articles and books on obstetrics.”

2nd Ped.—“Yes, a number of the infants I have seen haven’t been inoculated against polio; in fact they have not been inoculated against any communicable disease.

1st Ped.—“One reason I haven’t any use for this fellow is that he thinks an obstetrician’s business is to deliver babies. He doesn’t carry them through to maturity.”

2nd Ped.—“And you know, he’s so busy with obstetrics that he says little about public health, and I’ve never heard him make a pronouncement on the genocide pact or the United Nations.”

1st Ped.—“It’s embarrassing to have these infants come when you don’t like either the man or his methods. At the same time many men cooperating with Dr. Graham seem to be getting a tremendous number of new patients from his clinic.”

2nd Ped. (In a low voice, glancing around the table to see if anyone is looking)—“You know, and you surely must not quote me or the Medical Society might kick me out, I have serious doubts about how babies are born. Or, whether they are born at all. I have some specimens in my office (pickled in formalin) and as I look at those jars sometimes I wonder where they really came from and what they really are.”

1st Ped. (Also with ...

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