Thomas Aquinas Never Washed Socks

I was helping my wife fold the clothes still warm from the dryer. I had piled the socks to one side to sort and match them after the larger stuff was taken care of.

With some diligence I managed to get together seven pairs but was left with five unmatched socks.

“Where’s the rest of the wash?” I asked my wife.

“That’s it,” she replied.

“It can’t be,” I protested. “I’ve got five unmatched socks.”

“Happens all the time,” she responded.

“What’ll I do with them?”

“This,” she said, opening a drawer filled with mateless socks and tossing them in.

“What do you mean it happens all the time?”

“I mean I can put twelve pairs of socks in the washer and get out nine pairs and seven unmatched socks. Happens all the time.”

“That’s physically impossible!” I said. “If that were true it would bring into question the dependability and regularity of the universe.”

“I believe in the regularity of the universe,” she countered. “I regularly put in matched socks and regularly get out unmatched socks.”

“That’s not the kind of regularity I’m talking about. Let me explain it simply.”

“Don’t be patronizing,” she riposted. “If you’re going to become a male chauvinist you can just forget the whole thing. And by the way, what law says that I am charged with the responsibility for the family wash anyhow?”

Refusing to be sidetracked by peripheral matters, I continued, “What I’m trying to say is that the regularity of the universe is one point of the theistic apologetic. If you put in matched socks and get out unmatched socks that means the universe is not dependable, and where does that leave Thomas Aquinas?”

“Thomas Aquinas had his experience and I have mine,” she responded with unassailable accuracy.

“You don’t test theology by experience,” ...

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