There are people who constantly worry over whether they will have the courage to face this or that deprivation-old age, a painful illness, infirmity, or the death of husband or wife. I have always tried to reassure them, for as long as the trial they fear is not there, the courage cannot be there either. And they are probably the ones who will bear it most courageously if it does come. Over and over again I have marveled at the resources of courage these worrying people reveal themselves to have when they have to face the real thing and not the phantom of their imagination!
There is more to be said. There is that extraordinary joy which radiates from many a sufferer from serious infirmity, and which contrasts astonishingly with the moroseness of so many of the healthy people one sees on the bus. What is the explanation? Well, I think that it is because their lives demand permanent courage, a constant expenditure of courage; and since courage belongs to the spiritual economy, the more one spends it, the more one has. It is like a current flowing through them and producing joy, the joy of victory over one’s fate. This joy in victory is something we find in all those who accomplish a great exploit-in the climber who reaches the summit of the Eiger via the north face; and in every champion in sport, even if they do collapse in tears of exhaustion at the winning-post. Moreover, in a seriously disabled person it is not the victory of a single day, but of every day. Where does the pleasure in living come from? More from struggling than from possessing.
The first time I spoke on this theme of deprivation was at a meeting of the Association of Single Mothers. The audience consisted therefore entirely of women who were widows, divorced or abandoned wives, or unmarried mothers, in charge of fatherless children and responsible for their upbringing. What I had to say to them about orphans could be an encouragement for them. But they did not need encouragement: I was struck by the joy that reigned among them. I reflected that they too had to expend plenty of courage each day in lives as hard as theirs, and the secret of their impressive joy was in that current of spiritual energy running through them. But there was also the phenomenon of communication-courage passing from one to another; each drawing courage from the realization of the courage of the others, and contributing her own courage to that of the rest. It was like the multiplication of reflections in a hall of mirrors.
The most encouraged of all was myself. I came away from that meeting full of joyfulness, and when the organizer brought me a rose bush for my garden I felt that she deserved it more than I. It is very clear that nothing arouses in us more courage than meeting a man, woman, or child who is showing exemplary courage in adversity. It is far more effective than exhortation. It seems to me most important to emphasize this contagious quality of courage. For I see so many good people who try genuinely to resist all kinds of temptations out of faithfulness to their ideals, but who feel quite powerless in face of the fearful contagion of evil, of violence, injustice, and lies which is attacking the world. What can they do about it? Their daily obedience, worthy though it be, seems no more than a tiny drop lost in a stormy ocean. The contagion of good is not so obvious. However, one thing that is unmistakable is the contagious effect of an exceptionally courageous obedience. …
Actually, I do not think we should ever be exhorting people to be courageous. To be really fruitful, courage must come spontaneously, in answer to an inner call. I can think of several women who have had the courage to give up the idea of divorce in circumstances in which it would have been justifiable. I would not have taken it upon myself to encourage them because it was they, and not I, who had to face the sufferings that their decision imposed upon them. Jesus puts us on our guard against placing upon others burdens which we do not bear ourselves (Luke 11:46).
I have always observed that when it is God who calls us to make that sort of decision he also gives us the strength to bear the consequences.
-Paul Tournier
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