Speaking

People are speaking about 3,000 fewer words each day compared to less than two decades ago. Between 2005 and 2018, researchers found the average number of daily spoken words dropped from 16,000 to around 13,000 — a decline that appears linked to our increasing reliance on digital communication tools like texting and social media. Co-lead author Valeria Pfeifer noted, “We did a full analysis looking at what year the data were collected and found that, indeed, 300 spoken words on average per year go missing.”

Another researcher added, “There is a strong cross-cultural assumption that women talk a lot more than men. We wanted to see whether or not this assumption holds when empirically tested.”

The numbers show that women do speak slightly more on average — about 13,349 words per day compared to men’s 11,950. This modest difference of 1,073 words is small compared to the vast individual variation in daily speech, which ranges from fewer than 100 to over 120,000 words per day.

Senior author Matthias Mehl said, “I’m fascinated by the idea that we know how much we need to sleep, we know how much we need to exercise, and people are wearing Fitbits all the time. But we have no idea how much we’re supposed to socialize. The evidence is very strong that socializing is linked to health, at least to the same extent as physical activity and sleep are. It’s just another health behavior.”

Your relationship can handle way more honesty than you think it can. In fact, a new study from the University of Rochester found that being brutally honest with your partner benefits both of you.

Most people fear that difficult conversations will damage their relationships, so we avoid tough topics or sugarcoat our feelings. But research shows we’re wrong about the risks of being direct.

Scientists studied 214 couples, together an average of 15 years, and asked them to discuss something they wanted their partner to change. This is a conversation most people dread. Before talking, each person privately wrote down what they wanted to say, then had the conversation while researchers recorded what was actually shared.

The results? When people were more honest about their requests, both partners reported better emotional well-being and higher relationship satisfaction. What mattered more was that people actually were honest and that their partners perceived them as honest.

Three months later, many benefits persisted. People who had been more honest during the initial discussion reported better emotional well-being and were more likely to see positive changes in their partners over time.

You don’t need perfect communication skills or complete agreement about what happened for honesty to help your relationship. You just need willingness to share authentic thoughts and feelings.

Rather than tiptoeing around sensitive topics, couples should lean into honest communication. The truth can set your relationship free, even when it’s hard to hear.

Hearing is a vastly underrated sense. Studies have shown that visual recognition requires a significant fraction of a second per event. But hearing is a quantitatively faster sense. While it might take you a full second to notice something out of the corner of your eye, turn your head toward it, recognize it, and respond to it, the same reaction to a new or sudden sound happens at least 10 times as fast.

The sudden loud noise that makes you jump activates the simplest type: the startle. A chain of neurons from your ears to your spine takes that noise and converts it into a defensive response in a mere tenth of a second—elevating your heart rate, hunching your shoulders, and making you glance around to see if whatever you heard is going to pounce and eat you. This simplest form of attention requires almost no brains at all and has been observed in every studied vertebrate.

Hearing, in short, is easy. It’s your lifeline, your alarm system, your way to escape danger and pass on your genes. But listening, really listening, is hard when potential distractions are leaping into your ears every fifty-thousandth of a second.

The difference between the sense of hearing and the skill of listening is attention. Hearing is easy; listening requires lots of skill. Listening is a skill that we’re in danger of losing in a world of digital distraction and information overload.

Luckily, we can train our listening just as with any other skill. Listen to your dog’s whines and barks: they are trying to tell you something isn’t right. Listen to your significant other’s voice—not only to the words, which after a few years may repeat, but to the sounds under them, the emotions carried in the harmonics. You may save yourself a couple of fights.

“You never listen” is not just the complaint of a problematic relationship, it has also become an epidemic in a world that is exchanging convenience for content, speed for meaning.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Really listening to a friend or spouse is important to the relationship. It means giving them our full attention and putting them ahead of our own needs. How much more important it is to listen for God’s voice amidst the cacophony of noise in the world, and absorb what he has to say.

Most people continue to use AI programs such as ChatGPT, Bing, and Google Bard for mundane tasks like internet searches and text editing. But of the roughly 103 million US adults turning to generative chatbots in recent months, an estimated 13% occasionally did it to simply “have a conversation with someone.”

According to the Consumer Reports August 2023 survey results, a vast majority of Americans (69%) either did not regularly utilize AI chat programs in any memorable way. Those that did, however, overwhelmingly opted to explore OpenAI’s ChatGPT.

Most AI users asked their programs to conduct commonplace tasks, such as answering questions in lieu of a traditional search engine, writing content, summarizing longer texts, and offering ideas for work or school assignments. Despite generative AI’s relative purported strength at creating and editing computer code, just 10% of those surveyed recounted using the technology to do so. However, 13% used it to have a conversation.

The desire for idle conversation with someone else is an extremely human, natural feeling. However, there are already signs that it’s not necessarily the healthiest of habits.

Many industry critics have voiced concerns about a potentially increasing number of people turning to technology instead of human relationships. Numerous reports in recent months highlight a growing market of AI bots explicitly marketed to an almost exclusively male audience as “virtual girlfriends.”

According to Consumer Reports survey results, an estimated 10.2 million Americans had a “conversation” with a chatbot in recent months. That’s quite a lot of people looking to gab.

The King James Version of the Bible has been a blessing through the years to countless numbers of people, in many different ways. As 2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us, the inspired word of God has “thoroughly equipped” the people of God “for every good work and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness.” Psalm 119:105 also reminds us that God's Word “is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

At a Seminar held in Sri Lanka for students of Journalism a few years ago, Senior Indian Journalist and Politician, M. J. Akbar, highlighted yet another meaningful benefit of the King James Version of the Bible. In his address to aspiring journalists, Mr. Akbar had initially highlighted an urgent need to raise the standards of English writing in print journalism.

Thereafter, he had advised the aspiring journalists to read the King James Version of the Bible, to improve their English. He said, “The basic structure of the English language can be found in the King James Version of the Bible and thus it can be called 'the holy book' for all the journalists.”

So, if you need to improve your English writing skills, a good way to do so would be to read the King James Version of the Bible.

The typical family spends just six hours together a week, thanks in part to long working hours and time spent diving down the digital device rabbit hole.

According to a study of 2,000 British parents with children at home, most agree that work shifts are hindering family quality time (56 percent). Other factors include homework (29 percent), household chores (27 percent), TV time (21 percent), social media use (20 percent), and after school activities (19 percent).

When families are at home together, 37 percent admit they don’t set aside specific time to spend with one another. The survey finds half of respondents think there are too many distractions in the home—particularly devices with screens—which impact quality time.

There’s plenty of research that shows how eating meals together as a family has positive effects on everyone. To that end, a quarter of parents would like to eat more family meals together to encourage conversation, as 42 percent say they struggle to initiate chats with their children. The most popular topics around the table when they do dine together are: school (50 percent), TV shows (48 percent), and friendships (46 percent).

Aside from mealtimes, parents are most likely to chat to their children when in the car (57 percent), putting them to bed (40 percent), and walking to and from school (38 per cent).

An often-overlooked effect of missionary influence has been the preservation of languages. Language is the breath of a culture, and so the death of a language almost always results in the loss of a way of life. MIT linguist Norvin Richards expressed the importance of the preservation of languages and cultures well: “There are jokes that are only funny in Maliseet and there are songs that are only beautiful in Wôpanâak …. If we lose those languages, we lose little pieces of the beauty and richness of the world.”

In 2019, the United Nations warned, “Almost half the world’s estimated 6,700 languages are in danger of disappearing.” Many minority languages are lost when younger generations are educated in national languages. Written languages have a much better chance of survival than exclusively oral ones and many small, unique languages have been preserved by Bible translation.

In one remarkable case, the Wôpanâak language was brought back to life a hundred years after its last speakers died. The linguistic revival was based on the translation work of missionary John Eliot. The first Bible published in colonial America was in the Wôpanâak language in 1663. As a result of Eliot’s literacy efforts, the Wampanoag tribe left behind a collection of written documents when disease ravaged their population.

In the 1990s, Jessie Little Doe Baird, a descendant of the tribe Eliot sought to reach, used those records to revive the Wôpanâak language as part of a linguistics program at MIT. Her daughter is the first native Wôpanâak speaker in seven generations and six other Wampanoags have become fluent in the language. Interestingly, one of Baird’s Wampanoag ancestors publicly opposed missionary work in the eighteenth century.

Actress Diane Kruger (National Treasure, In The Fade) was once offered a role that required her to play a young wife and mother, experiencing the loss of her husband and child. Since she hadn’t personally experienced such painful losses in her own life, Diane realized that the only way she could prepare herself for the important role, would be to connect with people and groups that were walking through extreme grief and similar experiences.

It is said that initially, she began to offer her own thoughts and responses with those who shared their stories in the groups she attended. However, she gradually realized that it would be far better for her to stop talking, and to start listening with empathy to their stories. That decision brought about a meaningful learning curve that helped her adapt to the role she had to play in the film.

Possible Preaching Angle:

In conversations, how often are we eager to air our thoughts and views without listening to the other person? The Bible however advises us to be careful of the words we speak, and about the importance of being willing to listen to others. James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.”

Ever get the feeling you're talking to a brick wall when trying to communicate with your teens? Well, a new study suggests there may be some science to it, after finding that teenagers' brains start tuning out their mothers' voices around the age of 13. Researchers said that this is because they no longer find it “uniquely rewarding,” and instead tune into unfamiliar voices more.

The study by the Stanford School of Medicine used MRI brain scans to give the first detailed neurobiological explanation for how teenagers begin to separate from their parents. It suggests that when your teenagers don't seem to hear you, it's not simply that they don't want to clean their room or finish their homework—their brains aren't registering your voice the way they did in pre-teenage years.

Lead study author Daniel Abrams said, “Just as an infant knows to tune into her mother's voice, an adolescent knows to tune into novel voices. As a teen, you don't know you're doing this. You're just being you: You've got your friends and new companions and you want to spend time with them. Your mind is increasingly sensitive to and attracted to these unfamiliar voices.”

Researchers said, “The brain's shift toward new voices is an aspect of healthy maturation. A child becomes independent at some point, and that has to be precipitated by an underlying biological signal. This signal helps teens engage with the world and form connections which allow them to be socially adept outside their families.”

A study published in 2016 showed that children can identify their mother's voice with extremely high accuracy. Even fetuses in utero can recognize their mother's voice before they're born. Yet with adolescents their brains are tuning away from their mother’s voice in favor of voices they've never even heard.

Brain responses to voices increased with teenagers' age. In fact, the relationship was so strong researchers could use the information in adolescents' brain scans to predict how old they were. When teens appear to be rebelling by not listening to their parents, it is because they are wired to pay more attention to voices outside their home.

A prominent scientist was forced to apologize after pranking his Twitter followers with a photo. Étienne Klein posted a picture of what he claimed was a high-powered telescope image. Klein captioned the photo, “Proxima Centauri, the nearest star to the Sun. Located 4.2 light years away from us. It was taken by the James Webb Space Telescope. This level of detail ... A new world is unveiled every day,"

As it turns out, the dark reddish orb with speckles of orange and white was not, in fact, a star. Instead, it was a slice of chorizo, which is a spicy sausage of Spanish origin. Klein revealed the ruse in a series of subsequent posts.

Klein said, "According to contemporary cosmology, no object related to Spanish charcuterie exists anywhere else other than on Earth.” He later apologized, explaining that his point was to prevent people from taking internet photos at face value, especially those “that seem to speak for themselves.”

The James Webb Telescope went operational in July, and is capable of viewing phenomena through infrared light, which is invisible to the naked eye. It’s been a popular attraction for people searching for rare astronomical photos. After apologizing, Klein posted a photo of the Cartwheel galaxy from the telescope, which he repeatedly assured his followers was real.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Even when joking, we must be careful not to deceive others, otherwise we contribute to a breakdown in communal trust.

Russian spies are scattered throughout Ukraine. We would expect no less. But Ukrainians have figured out how to ferret out many of the Russian spies wandering around their country.

While the languages spoken in Russia and Ukraine are similar, there are significant differences. For example, the phonetic spelling of the first names of the respective leaders of both countries. They share the same name, yet they spell their names and pronounce their names with nuanced differences. In transliteration, it’s Vladimir for Putin and Volodymyr for Zelensky. Sounds are automatic giveaways because of the different emphasis of certain vowel and consonant collections in Ukrainian versus Russian.

And so, Ukrainians use a shibboleth involving the name of a popular bakery item. It is the name of a bread called palianytsia. Russians cannot properly pronounce the name of the bread. Try as they might, palianytsia does not come tripping off their tongues. Even if they can say it once, they trip up when saying it three times in a row. And they’ve been outed, caught, and uncovered. The fluffy loaf of bread catches spies in Ukraine like a lie detector.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Jesus taught that what comes out of a person's mouth defiles them. Because it shows something about our nature that cannot long be hidden.

On-air announcer Glenn Consor was doing what he’s paid to do at an NBA game: giving off-the-cuff commentary to the events as they unfolded. But this moment would end up being a notorious chapter in his broadcasting career.

Consor is the color analyst for NBC Sports Washington which covers the Washington Wizards. As such, he had a perfect view of Houston Rockets guard Kevin Porter, Jr. as he launched a game-winning three-pointer to defeat the Wizards on their home floor. In the shock of the moment, Consor said the following: “You’ve got to give credit. Kevin Porter Jr., like his dad, pulled that trigger right at the right time.”

Consor made the paternal reference because he assumed the Rockets guard was the son of former Washington Bullets standout Kevin Porter. But he was wrong. The father of the Rockets’ Kevin Porter Jr. did not previously play in the NBA.

However, back in 1993 Porter’s father did plead guilty to first-degree manslaughter in the shooting death of a fourteen-year-old, a conviction for which he spent four-and-a-half years in prison. So many fans were offended at the comment, because it appeared as though Consor was glibly making a double entendre of Porter Jr. and his father’s criminal background.

But Consor meant no such harm. He had no idea that his use of the phrase “pulling the trigger” would be interpreted literally and was mortified when he found out about his mistake. The next day he offered the following apology:

Please allow me to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize to Kevin Porter Jr., his family and the Rockets organization for the comments I made during last night’s game. I mistakenly thought that Kevin was the son of former Washington player Kevin Porter and was unaware that the words I chose to describe his game-winning shot would be in any way hurtful or insensitive. I have reached out Kevin to personally apologize and hope to be able to talk with him soon.

Possible Preaching Angle:

As Christians we are called to own up to our mistakes and ask forgiveness when our words hurt others, even when we mean no harm.

A "slip of the tongue" by an air traffic controller at Paris Charles de Gaulle airport saw two planes come within 300 feet of crashing into each other in July, 2020.

A United Airlines flight from Newark, NJ was making its approach to land at the same time that an EasyJet was preparing to take off for Malaga, Spain. The Newark flight was supposed to be assigned to land on runway 09L, as the Malaga flight was cleared to take off from runway 09R.

Due to an unfortunate slip of the tongue, however, the controller gave clearance for Newark to land on 09R, instead of 09L. Furthermore, the controller didn’t have direct line-of-sight access to runway 09R because of an equipment malfunction.

Eventually, the Malaga flight asked why the Newark plane was given clearance to land on their runway, and warned of the imminent collision. The Newark plane was instructed to abort the landing and ascend, but by the time it engaged the evasive maneuver, the two planes were only 300 feet apart.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Even in situations that seem routine, our words still have tremendous power to heal or hurt, build or destroy. Being careless with the tongue is akin to flirting with calamity.

In the film My Beautiful Stutter, viewers are introduced to Kate Detrick. Kate is a young lady who has learned to live, honestly if not defiantly, with a stutter. She refuses to refer to her way of speaking as an impediment. Instead, she has learned to accept who she is.

In the film, Kate is giving a tour of her room. She has notes written to herself posted around her room reminding her of her uniqueness and value. But she spends most of her tour on a poem written by Erin Schick:

The barn owl communicates with mates and offspring using a complex system of hissing, screeching, squawking, and facial muscle manipulation

Survival is dependent on creating a voice so unique it can be recognized by loved ones in an instant

I argue the cause of my stutter is not neurologic

It’s got to be something deeper

Something desperate to be remembered

This is not a speech impediment

My voice is an instrument,

My stutter its greatest symphony

My speech, composed by God

Fundamentally opposing views and values between Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals, have never been as visceral as they are today. Fellow Americans who one disagrees with are immediately demonized and often “cancelled” in our now pervasive cancel culture.

A new 2021 program called “Bridging the Gap” has been initiated by several liberal and conservative colleges. The process and goal is “deep listening.” Authentic engagement in all humility and curiosity can tear down seemingly impenetrable walls. The program is based in part on the Bryan Stevenson book Just Mercy, whose premise is that people on death row are more than the worst thing they have ever done. An advocate writes:

And so, I would ask us for a moment to consider the application of that principle to these 75 million Americans who voted for Trump and the 81 million who voted for Biden. While many of us have been convinced by the wisdom that people on death row are better than their worst deed, we are still quick to condemn “those voters” as worse than their worst vote.

Genuine listening is challenging but fruitful:

Listening deeply means silencing that noise, listening not just with your ears but with every sense you’ve got, every cell in your body. It means listening to all that is said and unsaid, to the body language, the tone, the eye movement. It’s full-body listening. This type of listening builds trust, opens doors, and offers a path to deep discovery and a sacred connection that forms the basis for new understandings and otherwise unimaginable possibilities. Study after study shows in sector after sector—in medicine, marriage, real estate sales, and more—that true listening generates better results. And yet most of us go through our entire education without having learned how to do it.

The workers on Japan’s rail system repeatedly call out to no one and point to seemingly nothing. A train driver checking his speed, for example, does not simply glance at the dial. The driver points at it and shouts out, “Speed check, 80.” When staff check whether the platform is clear, they sweep their arms along their view of the platform, their eyes following their hands, before shouting an all-clear signal. The idea is that associating key tasks with physical movements and vocalizations prevents errors by “raising the consciousness levels of workers.”

The gestures are not an inherent part of the task. But the physical reinforcement helps ensure each step is complete and accurate. It works. Crazy as this may seem, these apparently pointless gestures have helped to make it one of the safest railway networks in the world. This pointing-and-calling safety method … reduces workplace errors by up to 85 percent, according to one study. A similar system has been adapted for use on New York’s MTA subway system. As a result, the number of incorrectly berthed trains has been halved.