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February 9, 2012

Home > 2008 > JuneChristianity Today, June, 2008
Wounds of a Friend: Complementarian
Complementarians need to recover a fully biblical view of women — and of handling theological disagreement.




Counterpoint: We egalitarians should rely more on careful exegesis and less on political ideologies.

I am a complementarian. I believe the Bible teaches that God created men and women to serve different roles in the church and the home. But I am deeply concerned that some complementarians are missing the mark. In their efforts to restore God's ideal, I fear they may actually distort it.

Instead of focusing on what the Bible says about the relationship between men and women, complementarians too often give the impression that they care only about the place of women. This one-sided perspective is unhealthy and ultimately unbiblical.

When God created humankind in his image, he created them to be male and female (Gen. 1:27). It is often said that men and women bear the image of God equally. But it might be more accurate to say that men and women bear God's image together. Men and women collectively reflect the divine image; one without the other is incomplete. In addition, the Book of Genesis affirms men and women's joint mandate to exercise dominion over creation. Men and women share this responsibility; neither can fulfill God's mandate alone.

Too often, complementarians approach theology only through a male lens. But in order to see the complete picture of what's being taught in Scripture, we need the theological perspective of both sexes. If it is true that men and women see things differently, as we complementarians often assert, then stifling the feminine perspective can only lead to an inadequate theology. Adam's first sin was his silence in the garden when Eve was being tempted. His subsequent sin has been to silence the voice of his God-given partner.

Complementarian discussions about the differences between men and women are complicated by a tendency to let culture shape our definitions. "My children are grown and out of the house," a woman friend told me. "So when I hear people say that a woman's 'highest calling' is to be a wife and mother, I find myself wondering if there isn't anything else for me to do for Christ."

Is the complementarian assumption about a woman's "highest calling" accurate? The Bible speaks highly of the roles of wife and mother. But if they are a woman's highest calling, then why doesn't Paul advise the unmarried in Corinth to seek marriage (1 Cor. 7:25-38)? Why does he admonish the married to "live as if they were not" (1 Cor. 7:29)? Even more striking, why didn't Jesus commend Martha instead of Mary (Luke 10:42)? After all, her work in the kitchen reflected a woman's traditional role.

Complementarians need to be on guard against the temptation to use the Bible as a sanction for social constructs. The Pharisees tried to protect God's commands by putting a fence around the Law. I fear that complementarians, too, have gone beyond the Scriptures in our effort to preserve God's design. Have we added our own traditions to the Bible's teaching in an attempt to preserve biblical manhood and womanhood?

While complementarians assume that men and women both have roles to play in society and in the church, we often give the impression that we are most interested in telling women what they can't do. A colleague of mine, who is a complementarian, recently described her experience to me:

"When people talk about the role of women, I often hear a note of anger over my decision to have a career and be a mother," she said. "Yet I see no such concern about my male colleagues who are fathers of young children while working long hours. I think part of the problem is that complementarians often extend the designated roles of men and women in the church into all areas of male-female contact—that is where it starts to get offensive."





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Displaying 1–5 of 20 comments

K.

July 07, 2008  5:10pm

The complementarian view is based on proof-texting: lifting verses out of context. It's simply bad Bible study. The egalitarian view puts the verses back into the context of the letter and the situation that Paul was writing about at that time. So, when people quote 1st Timothy saying that Paul says that women cannot not teach men but should learn in submission, they're missing the point of a very pro-female verse. At that time, Jewish women were not allowed to learn, so they were likely to be deceived. Yet, Paul says they must learn, which is great news for women given their culture at that time.

Judy Secor

July 01, 2008  9:34pm

Steve Kindle hit the nail on the head...5 stars rating to you bro! js

Keith

June 29, 2008  1:12am

Koessler's article does make a reasonable point, but then there are always people who behave badly when making arguments for what is good or true. Maybe he might consider that since the tradition labeled Complementarianism is embattled, being counter to the now accepted cultural norm in the West and even in the churches, there might be some very strong feelings involved. I, for one, can't think of any good reason to call patriarchy evil when every page of the Bible drips with it. And one can't be a feminist or egalitarian without considering it so.

Helen

June 27, 2008  12:33pm

The two comments above spell "complementarian" as "complimentarian." It makes me wonder if everyone in the debate is sure of the meaning of the word "complementary" as opposed to "complimentary." The word complementary describes something that completes or supplies a need/ lack in something else; the word complimentary describes a speech act as one that praises or admires something.

Fritz Siebuhr

June 27, 2008  10:42am

Jer 31:22 How long will you gad about, O you backsliding daughter? For the LORD has created a new thing in the earth— A woman shall encompass a man." NKJ Jer 31:23 Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: "They shall again use this speech in the land of Judah and in its cities, when I bring back their captivity: 'The LORD bless you, O home of justice, and mountain of holiness!' NKJ

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