Ethics
The Seven Levels of Lying
We lie more than we think. And that's part of the problem.
Sarah Sumner | posted 5/20/2011 08:59AM
Every person on the planet at times is an Oscar-winning liar. Haven't we all lied without being caught? As the Bible says, "There is no one righteous, not even one …. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit" (Rom. 3:10-13). My husband and I, aware of this reality, have made a pact. If either of us lies to the other, we are committed to confessing the lie within three days.
Perhaps my most common lie is to tell myself I can do things in less time than I actually can. And lying to myself in this way sets me up to lie to others. How many times have I told my husband that I would arrive at a certain time and place when in my heart I wasn't genuinely committed to following through on my word? I told him that I'd be there, but I wasn't. My husband has learned not to trust me, because my actions don't always line up with my words.
To justify myself, I'd like to view my tardiness as a minor character flaw. In other words, I'd like to be untruthful about the selfishness that characterizes my way of managing time. Early in our marriage, I argued vehemently that lateness and lying are unrelated matters. I didn't want to see the truth because the truth indicted me.
It's not fun to be reminded of the humbling fact that everyone needs to be prompted, indeed, regularly goaded, to be truthful in our speech and in our hearts. All of us are susceptible. We all know what it's like to take refuge in the escape route of lying. When it goes unchecked, we hardly even notice how far we have drifted. We've probably all seen a leader who intimidates and blames instead of owning the mistake that everybody knows the leader made.
Lying is more perilous than it seems. It's more Satan-like than Christ-like. Jesus referred to Satan as "a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44). By contrast, Jesus declared himself to be the Truth (John 14:6).
Aren't There Exceptions?The prophet Jeremiah said, "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick" (17:9, NASB). What's so indicative of our human fallenness is the universal tendency to minimize the treachery of lying. We want certain forms of lying to be okay. We are quick to remember Rahab and Corrie ten Boom, citing them as saintly liars. Or maybe we say that refusing to lie is somehow itself unloving. More than one person in reading a draft of this article expressed a concern that if we all told the truth all the time, we'd be rude. The 1997 Jim Carrey comedy Liar Liar comes to mind. Carrey's character gives a comical rendition of what happens when people are so honest that they don't edit what they say about others.
I wonder if we're defensive about everyday 'white lies' because we are too lazy to find creative ways to speak the truth in love.
There's a big difference between blurting out rude thoughts and being truthful, just as there is between gentle tact and gentle lying. I wonder if we're defensive about everyday "white lies" because we are too lazy to find creative ways to speak the truth in love. My sense is that most of us are defensive about our lying because we are defensive about ourselves. We are slow to face the truth of the contrast between our character and God's.
According to the Scriptures, God himself "does not lie" (Titus 1:2). In his holiness, he is incapable of lying. As the apostle John put it, "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all" (1 John 1:5). Lying can't be other than sinful because God can't do it. If lying were ever righteous, then there would be something righteous that God can't do. It is clearly not God's plan for people to harbor darkness or deception in their hearts. Even though God might use us when we lie, it doesn't mean we are not sinning when we do.
May 2011, Vol. 55, No. 5, Page 50
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