Needed: Incompatibility

Last month, another well-known couple terminated a long and apparently agreeable marriage. The reason given: incompatibility—an all-too-familiar legal umbrella under which an assortment of excuses can find shelter.

I looked up the dictionary definition of incompatibility and brushed it aside as beside the point: “Incapable of coexisting harmoniously, discordant; mismated …”

Incapable of coexisting harmoniously? “With God all things are possible.”

My husband was given a Swiss watch by our daughter’s Swiss in-laws. When it stopped, no local watchmaker could fix it. The next time we were in Switzerland we sent it directly to the people who had made it. They had no problem; the ones who made it knew how to make it work again.

Who invented marriage? He is the one to whom we must go. His Book of instructions has the answers.

“Disagreeing in nature …” Great! One can disagree without being disagreeable. Before we were married, someone gave me a gem of wisdom: “Where two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”

“Irreconcilable …” I doubt it. When two draw near to God, they find themselves closer to one another.

“Conflicting …” Terrific! I once knew a man who refused to let his wife disagree with him on anything. Now, every man needs to be disagreed with occasionally. This poor man’s personality, his ego, and even his judgment suffered.

When someone gets into a position of political or social power or one of fame or fortune and no one dares to disagree with him, look out! He is in danger. At times, we all need to be disagreed with.

Three of us were lunching one day while our husbands relaxed over what, for me would have been hard work: a game of golf.

“Would you two like to know the secret of our happy marriage?” our older companion asked.

Forks in midair, we waited.

“Because,” and the mischievous eyes brimmed with laughter, “we never do anything together.”

“Except,” she added with an irrepressible laugh, “sleep together.”

We were still laughing when our husbands joined us. Her words ringing in my ears, I noticed the affectionate kiss with which her husband greeted her, his loving hand on her shoulder.

All I can say is, “Three cheers for incompatibility!”

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