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THE BUSINESS OF MAKING SAINTS (p. 20) Eugene H. Peterson, long-time pastor, author, and now professor of spiritual theology at Regent College, discusses what it truly means to give spiritual care.
Today, people come to pastors for help with addictions, abuse, incest, and other complex problems that didn’t seem as common a generation ago. What can a pastor do for someone that a mental health provider cannot?
The previous century suffered just as much; in fact, probably much more. The big difference today is that we have this mentality that if something is wrong, you can fix it. The pastor is in the front line of people who get approached: “Make me happy. Make me feel good.”
What do you do, then, when a parishioner assumes you can fix his or her problem?
You have to go back a step and ask, “Why am I a pastor? What is my primary responsibility to this congregation?” The most important thing a pastor does is stand in a pulpit every Sunday and say, “Let us worship God.” If that ceases to be the primary thing I do in terms of my energy, my imagination, and the way I structure my life, then I no longer function as a pastor. I pick up some other identity. I don’t ever want to convey that our primary job as pastors is to fix a problem. Our primary work is to make saints. We’re in the saint-making business. If we enter the human-potential business, we’ve lost our calling.
When would you refer someone to a counselor?
My process was to refer-but not too quickly. I always spent at least two or three times with people, regardless how bad their problem was or how out of my depth I was. They deserved a pastor who knows them.
A lot of pastors would say, “My job is to make sure that pastoral care takes place in the congregation, not to provide it all myself.”
I don’t like that. I don’t think it works. You lose the unity and wholeness of pastoral ministry. The person who prays for you from the pulpit on Sunday should be the person who prays for you when you’re dying.
But don’t you want to equip the saints for ministry, including the ministry of pastoral care?
Certainly, one task of the pastor is to form people into Christians who know how to care. I’m not saying a pastor has to do it all. But nothing exempts a pastor from the work. Pastoral care can be shared, but never delegated.
WHY PASTORS MAKE GREAT COUNSELORS(p. 29)Robert J. Morgan, Pastor of Donelson Free Will Fellowship in Nashville, Tennessee, lists six reasons pastors are better counselors than they think.
Pastoral counseling is helping people resolve their problems, facilitating positive changes in their lives, and helping them grow toward greater wholeness. No one does that better than pastors. Why?
Pastors care as friends
When people come to me with problems, they come to someone who loves them. I’m not just a professional; I’m an extension of the love of Christ, a channel of his grace.
Pastors build on an existing relationship
A therapist recently told me, “You pastors have a real advantage because you’re part of a person’s life more than I can ever be. My role is short-term; yours is long-term, and it’s the long-term role that usually proves most valuable.”
Pastors preach care every Sunday
Our person-to-person ministry rests on a public role of preaching the Word, correcting, rebuking, and encouraging.
Pastors give biblical solutions for spiritual issues
There is no better tool than Scripture for penetrating soul and spirit. It is the Bible in all its authority-specifically the promises in all their sufficiency-that revives the soul, makes wise the simple, gives joy to the heart.
Pastors are accessible
I have learned to build safeguards into my schedule, but I’m generally more accessible than a listing in the Yellow Pages under “psy—.”
And one more reason
I’m free, so to speak. Even that counts for something.
STAYING CLOSE TO YOUR ENEMIES (p. 32)Gary D. Preston, pastor of Bethany Church in Boulder, Colorado, shows how to pastor people who don’t like you. As a pastor, I must maintain healthy relationships with all people in the church, even those with whom it’s difficult.
Resist what comes naturally
My natural response is to distance myself from difficult people. I’ve learned to seek out difficult people and spend a few moments talking together.
Invite talk about sensitive subjects
It’s important to let people know that even subjects of conflict can be discussed; they don’t end the relationship.
Keep private battles private
One person had battled me repeatedly about my emphasis on evangelism. At a business meeting, I took the opportunity to criticize my “no evangelism” proponent. Ultimately, the statement came back to haunt me. Even though people didn’t agree with his position, they disagreed more with my public attack of him.
Practice kindness
A man in a former church let me know every time I failed to fulfill some expectation of his. I began to look for ways to show him kindness. I asked him to share his expertise in fly-fishing. I invited him to go skiing, and he asked me to show him how to canoe. He eventually admitted his need to keep score of people’s behavior was negatively affecting his wife and his oldest son. I offered some help to deal with it.
When best efforts fall short
I told one critic, “I’m unable to live up to your expectations for my ministry.” I then told her that I was going to stop trying. She assured me I didn’t have to please her. This took the pressure off and diffused her constant complaining.
The more I seek to love difficult people, the more God uses them to refine me into the image of Christ.
WHERE HEALING BELONGS (p. 37)
Psychologist Larry Crabb wants to return soul care to the church. Crabb has coined the term eldering to describe what he believes ought to go on in the local church between older, wiser members and younger, struggling men and women. He believes this interaction can often be more healing than traditional psychotherapy.
You’ve called for new ways that the church can help people change. What’s wrong with the current approach?
Much of the church has had a limited approach to helping people change. I would describe it as, “Do what’s right.” The counseling community came up with a model that I dub, “Fix what’s wrong.” My understanding is that because of the New Covenant, there is something good God has placed within us-his Spirit and a new heart. Rather than fixing what’s wrong or doing what’s right, we need to release what’s good.
Are you really advocating that “eldering” can replace counseling?
There will always be a place for good therapists. But what they are doing is closer to what the Bible calls “shepherding” than what our culture calls “therapy.” I envision a community of shepherds and friends with the power to address the underlying issues beneath most of what we call “psychological problems.”
How are pastors identifying these shepherds?
One pastor asked, “Whom do we know in this church who seems to have a shepherd’s heart?” He identified ten or twelve people and formed “The Society of Shepherds.” They meet once a month to swap stories about how they’ve been involved in somebody else’s life. They’re also getting training in how to listen well.
WHEN IS A BROKEN PERSON READY TO LEAD? (p. 41)
Pastor Daniel Brown, with writer Bob Moeller, lists ways to determine whether the hurting are ready for responsibility.
A man who recently joined our fellowship came out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Three months after his conversion, his daughter died. Then the woman he had been dating broke off their relationship. If that weren’t enough, his business collapsed; it’s now half what it used to be.
Today, this man comes to three services on Sunday. He can’t seem to get enough of God. He’s obviously not ready for leadership right now.
When will that be? Here are five tests I use to measure whether someone is ready.
Are they honest with themselves?
I can work with broken people who recognize they’re broken. People who can’t admit their sin make me nervous.
Are they plugged into community?
If a person can’t build deep friendships that include accountability, that person is not ready for responsibi-lity in the church.
Will they labor in obscurity?
A person isn’t ready to lead until he or she is willing to accept an obscure position and find fulfillment in that.
Are they flexible?
One of our associate pastors lacked flexibility, the willingness to yield to others. He was asked to resign. We then rehired him as an assistant pastor. Today, he’s becoming more flexible.
Is there a history of faithfulness?
Readiness to lead begins months and years earlier when a person is asked to do something as simple as passing out bulletins. Once they’re found faithful doing that, we move them to something more demanding.
CHRONICALLY WOUNDED AND NEEDY (p. 46)
Matt Woodley, pastor of Cambridge (Minnesota) United Methodist Church, gives guidelines for helping someone with an unending string of personal problems.
Pastors see a growing number of what I call Chronically Wounded and Needy parishioners. How can we minister to the chronically wounded and needy without feeling chroni-cally tired and used up?
Practice Christlike acceptance
Cwns may drain me of resources, but Jesus continues to weep and wait for their healing. So I must begin my ministry with the wounded and needy by quietly, humbly accepting them as Jesus accepts them.
Communicate clear boundaries
If I don’t, people will assume availability. Boundaries must be specific, clearly defining when and where I will be available.
Pursue servanthood, not “success.”
For the first six years of my ministry, I assumed I could solve every cwn’s problem. It never occurred to me that some deeply wounded people might go backward. Ministering to cwns involves an openness to failure.
Encourage spiritual growth
I like to support spiritual growth by asking two questions: (1) What goals would you like to set? (2) What gifts would you like to share?
Connect with other resources
I need to network with the medical community, good counselors, and social service agencies. But we often neglect one handy and free resource-the body of Christ.
Keep bringing them to Jesus
Too often I’ve neglected the incredible resource of healing prayer. It reorients the wounded and needy, directing them to the proper source of healing-Christ.
THE TRUTH ABOUT DEBT AND SALARIES (p. 84)
Leadership’s nationwide study revealed four, mostly pleasant surprises.
The median salary of pastors is about $33,000.
1. Pastors don’t resent their pay
Seventy percent of pastors indicated they rarely or never feel resentful.
2. Pastors struggle with debt-but not as much as most Americans
While 55 percent of pastors pay off their credit card balance each month, the median balance for those who carry one is about $3,000. That’s about half of the average American’s ($5,800).
3. Pastors who ask for raises usually get them (but most don’t ask)
Only 13 percent of those who asked for a raise said they didn’t get one. Too bad that of those who felt discontented financially, 63 percent have never asked for a raise.
4. Pastors tithe-but they don’t ask others to
Almost two-thirds of pastors-63 percent-say their family practices a 10 percent, pre-tax tithe. If you add those who say they give 10 percent after taxes, the total jumps to 76 percent.
Oddly, while pastors tithe, many don’t tell their congregations to. In general, pastors seem reluctant to speak about money.
PREACHING A DOUBLE-HEADER(p. 96)
Wayne Brouwer, pastor at Harderwyk Christian Reformed Church in Holland, Michigan, shares how he delivers one sermon at two completely different services.
Over the last decade our congregation has developed two rather distinct worshiping communities. Though the message title is the same, my preaching is not immune to the marked distinction between our worship services. Sometimes I’m too crafty with my words. The traditional group loves it-they can see God in the art of wordplay. The contemporary group hates it-they think it is trying to put on a show that isn’t real.
The similarities
When I preach best for both communities, I do three things well: exegete faithfully, tell stories, create vision.
The differences
For the traditional worshiping community, I basically read the manuscript in an engaging, conversational style. With the contemporary worshiping community, sometimes I jot notes on a slip of paper or even wing it with no notes or manuscript. There I walk back and forth, mostly hitting the high points and telling stories.
At the best of times, this exercise taxes my powers of communication. At the worst of times, I feel I have failed one of the worshiping communities. Usually I finish Sunday morning somewhere in between.
WHAT’S REALLY BEHIND OUR FATIGUE? (p. 108)
John Ortberg, a teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church, says that when we feel like we’re on a treadmill, there may be an underlying reason.
In a discussion with other pastors, one of us said, “I actually found it easier to pursue spiritual health when I was not involved in ministry.” Almost everyone agreed: we felt hurried, overloaded, drained, and often taken for granted. But usually behind much of the fatigue and overscheduling in pastoral ministry is a sizable dose of a subtle sin: grandiosity.
This sin may involve saying yes when I ought to say no. It often involves being preoccupied with my job and failing to be fully present with my wife or my children or with God. A few aspects of ministry have become increasingly important to me in fighting grandiosity.
I must minister in community
Some time ago, I’d had a run of too much travel, too many meetings, too many talks. I was complaining to a friend who asked, “Why do you choose to live like this?”
The only honest answer was, I was afraid that if I said no to opportunities, they would stop coming; and if opportunities stopped coming, I would be less important; and if I were less important, that would be terrible.
Out of that conversation developed a small, “personal schedule group,” with a covenant that we would not take on commitments without discussing them with each other and with our families.
I must practice ministry of the mundane
Sometimes I must be interruptible for tasks not on my agenda. I need to be available to pray with troubled people whom I will not be able to cure and who have no ability to contribute to my success. Sometimes in meetings I need to remain silent even when I have a thought that might impress somebody.
I must regularly retreat from ministry
Sometimes it simply involves days off; sometimes it involves a day of utter solitude; sometimes it involves sheer play. When I engage in the ministry of withdrawal, I am reminded that I am not indispensable to the church.
I must bear with others
Bearing with people means learning to wish people well, releasing my right to hurt them back, coming to experience our common standing before the Cross.
God’s great, holy joke about the messiah complex is this: Every human being who has ever lived has suffered from it, except one. And he was the Messiah.
HOW SCHULLER SHAPED YOUR MINISTRY (p. 114)
Leadership editors interviewed Robert Schuller, the grandfather of the seeker movement, who has changed the way pastors approach culture.
How has Southern California changed since you arrived in 1955?
Forty years ago, Orange County was largely white, Anglo-Saxon, and Protestant. Today in Garden Grove, 38 percent are Asiatics, 37 percent are Hispanics, and 20 percent are people like me. The balance includes blacks, Ethiopians, Turks, and other groups. When I started, many nonchurched persons were conditioned by a culture dominated by Judeo-Christian values. That’s no longer true.
What advice do you have for the emerging generation of church leaders as they attempt to reach the culture for Christ?
1. Be point people, but don’t abandon tradition. Creativity will always fail if it ignores tradition. 2. Don’t imitate; innovate. 3. Don’t compete. See all positive Christian ministries as your ministry. 4. Don’t let eschatology stifle your long-term thinking. 5. Be beautiful. If I had one prayer, it would be that in seventy-five or one hundred years, Christianity would become known by the love of the followers of Christ. 6. Remember you’re in a mission age, and that’s never going to change. 7. Focus on the remnant. 8. Don’t try to win the whole world to Christ. Just witness to the whole world for Christ.
1997 by Christianity Today/Leadership Journal.
