Wed without dread
Jody Vickery’s article “How I Stopped Dreading Weddings” (Spring 2000) did not convince me he is healed from his exasperation. Some suggestions:
Encourage couples to express themselves in the wedding ceremony so that they don’t feel like stand-up, cut-out, cardboard figures repeating words written for them to say. Simplicity is not always the rule. Support the couple in being who they are in Christ.
Invite the couple (and their children) to dinner at the parsonage at the conclusion of counseling and in advance of the wedding. By the time the wedding comes, I have more love to give the couple because of our table fellowship. Sharing a meal together involves the pastor’s family in wedding ministry. At present, my family includes three kids under five—our wedding dinners are a highlight of our shared ministry.
Develop a wedding ministry that includes lay leaders trained as sponsors for the couple. Encourage a mentoring relationship for the bride and groom with a married couple in the church.
Valerie Fons Galien-Olive Branch United Methodist Parish Galien, Michigan
Praying beyond the sick list
Thank you for Donna Schaper’s “When Public Prayer Gets Too Personal” (Winter 2000).
Leaders can use several approaches to avoid prayer meeting becoming solely an organ recital (loose livers, leaky lungs, and sickly stomachs).
- Use a printed prayer list to teach a broader approach. Include praises and thanksgivings, and list not only those physically healed, but those who have joined the church recently. Mention spiritual blessings and national concerns. List missionaries by name; highlight a particular nation for prayer. List church ministries—upcoming outreach events, retreats, or a newly formed class.
- Ask, “What has God done in your life that is so good you have to share it?” Then silently wait for people to answer. Add their answers, when appropriate, to the list.
- Teach prayer from the Bible. Before praying, read an example of prayer from Scripture, which will focus more on praise, confession, and spiritual requests than surgeries and viruses.
- Give opportunity to express requests privately. Ask for “unspoken requests” and allow people to raise their hands to be prayed for.
- Set the example. Jesus’ public prayers were generally short and not very personal. However, when about to choose his disciples, he prayed all night long, alone.
Ultimately, people learn to pray by example. If you have pastored the same church for years and the prayers of the faithful members are still shallow, examine your own prayer life.
Bob Rogers First Baptist Church Rincon, Georgia
Mano a manu … script
“The Great Delivery Debate” (Winter 2000) was encouraging.
I use a manuscript when I preach. It keeps me from rambling. And if there is a distraction—from a pre-service emergency to people moving in and out of the sanctuary for restroom needs—I don’t lose my train of thought because the “tracks” are in front of me.
I was once told that it’s impossible to preach effectively using a manuscript. Today’s prominent preachers all seem to speak without notes, and it is at least implied that their success comes from their style, and that if the rest of us wanted to be successful, we too would speak without notes.
At times I’ve felt I must be the only pastor in the world who uses a manuscript and actually practices sermons before they are delivered.
How refreshing to find out I am not alone. No matter what style a preacher uses, it is the Word of God being communicated. May we trust Him for the effectiveness of that Word.
George Cook Fellowship Community Church Lincoln, Nebraska
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