Building Your Leaders - Christianity Today

A case study to copy, distribute, and discuss with your leadership team.

The Super Couple. That’s what everyone called Bill and Donna. After selling his successful dentistry practice, Bill and Donna flung their lives into the ministries of Grace Church. They came early to pray with the pastor on Sunday mornings. They stayed late to discuss church business after council meetings. Both of them served as members of the Prayer Ministry Team. They came to every Bible study the church offered. Bill and Donna informally mentored a handful of young men and women. And Bill and Donna did it all with gusto.

It was a win-win situation. Not only did they help the church grow, Bill and Donna also received huge doses of affirmation. “You two are amazing,” they often heard from members and the community alike.

There was just one problem: after three years of this frantic pace, their lives started to unravel. Bill was neglecting his health. Donna was neglecting her emotional health. They became too busy for their children and grandchildren. Words of resentment began to penetrate their “super couple” shield. Church work was choking their life of faith.

What would you do?

• In your experience, how do churches usually handle a situation like this?

• If this couple were in our church, what do you think we should do?

• If you were Bill and Donna, how would you like the situation to be handled?

What happened

An unhelpful friend confronted Bill and Donna about their “hankering to run the church.” Stung by this criticism and by nagging from family members, they withdrew from most church activities. They felt hurt, angry, cynical, and burned-out.

The pastor encouraged Bill and Donna to take a Sabbath from church activities. “We appreciate your many gifts,” he said gently, “but the healthiest thing you can do is step back, rest in God, receive His grace, and renew your marriage and family life. When you feel led, choose an area or two for re-entry into ministry. But always remember: you don’t need to perform for God’s grace.”

Six months later, Bill and Donna were still healing from the criticism and the overcommitment, but they were on the right path. They weren’t as involved, but their lives were focused and they actually enjoyed church again.

Discuss

• What do you think are the motives, both positive and negative, that cause someone to become overinvolved?

• What are the symptoms that someone’s life does not have enough Sabbath rest? (see Exodus 20:8-11; Isaiah 30:15)

• How can we encourage people to balanced Christian living? How do we hold each other accountable in this area?

—Mathew Woodley Cambridge United Methodist Church Cambridge, Minnesota

This is excerpted from Building Church Leaders, a booklet series for training and strengthening ministry teams, produced quarterly by Leadership Resources. To subscribe or for more information call 800-806-7796, or visit our store.