Pastors

Ministry After Miscarriage

“Please, don’t call it a miscarriage. My baby is dead!” These poignant words from a mother who lost a child before birth say it well: don’t downplay the loss. Treat a miscarriage or stillbirth as you would any other death.

Children’s hospital chaplain Wayne Willis offers these guidelines:

  • Attend to the father as well as the mother. The father’s grief is likely just as great, though expressed differently.
  • Draw out the story of events and feelings leading to the loss, for example, planned or unplanned conception, normal or problem pregnancy and delivery, any malformation, dreams and fears along the way. These bear on the grief process.
  • Work through the postmortem process: deciding on burial or funeral plans, taking pictures, retaining keepsakes such as a footprint or a lock of hair.
  • Discern their interpretation of the cause of death, including the medical explanation, their theological or philosophical understanding of it, their sense of personal responsibility and blame of themselves or others.
  • Help them express their depth of emotions. Encourage activities that promote acceptance, such as holding or bathing the child, taking pictures, or naming the baby. While these may accentuate sorrow at the time, they allow the deep wounds to begin to heal.

James D. Berkley Bellevue, Washington

Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal.Click here for reprint information onLeadership Journal.

Our Latest

Review

Needing Help Is Normal

Leah Libresco Sargeant’s doggedly pro-life feminist manifesto argues that dependence is inevitable.

Review

Don’t Give Dan Brown the Final Word on the Council of Nicaea

Bryan Litfin rescues popular audiences from common myths about the origins of Trinitarian doctrine.

News

Died: John Huffman, Pastor Who Told Richard Nixon to Confess

The Presbyterian minister and CT board member committed to serve the Lord and “let the chips fall where they may.”

The Pastor Who Rescues People from Japan’s ‘Suicide Cliff’

Yoichi Fujiyabu has spent three decades sharing God’s love to people who want to end their lives.

An Ode to the Long Season

Why fans love a game designed to break their hearts.

Is This Heaven? No, It’s Banana Ball

What baseball’s most amusing team gets right about joy in sports.

News

Black Clergy and Christians Grapple with Charlie Kirk’s Legacy

Many say the activist’s inflammatory statements on race should inform how we remember his life.

Apple PodcastsDown ArrowDown ArrowDown Arrowarrow_left_altLeft ArrowLeft ArrowRight ArrowRight ArrowRight Arrowarrow_up_altUp ArrowUp ArrowAvailable at Amazoncaret-downCloseCloseEmailEmailExpandExpandExternalExternalFacebookfacebook-squareGiftGiftGooglegoogleGoogle KeephamburgerInstagraminstagram-squareLinkLinklinkedin-squareListenListenListenChristianity TodayCT Creative Studio Logologo_orgMegaphoneMenuMenupausePinterestPlayPlayPocketPodcastRSSRSSSaveSaveSaveSearchSearchsearchSpotifyStitcherTelegramTable of ContentsTable of Contentstwitter-squareWhatsAppXYouTubeYouTube